disclaimer: i own nothing but Raven, because she's mine and very speshil to me. DC pwns.

Hi. My name is Raven. i'm 13 years old and I live in the slums. it's a hard life but i've learned to get by. i've always hated the people i live with. they're just a bunch of liars and theives but sometimes i've had to become one of those people just to survive. i've always dreamed of making this place safe for us normal people who are just victums of circumstance. but i could never do anything like that, i'm only a 13 year old girl after all. well that was until i met him. The Batman.

So, I was just sitting there one night in my bedroom, looking out on the filthy streets below, and dreaming of a better life away from this hellhole, when, just a flutter, I saw something in the corner of my eye. fear stabbed like a knife at my heart. but in a flash, it was gone.

I went out to investigate but there wasn't a soul outside. i gave up my search and went back inside but i couldn't shake the feeling something exciting was going to happen. the next night i spent waiting outside.

i was leaning against teh lamppost at my usual streetcorner when i first met him. his glaring brown eyes locked with my violet ones. he made his way towards me with a purposeful gait. i wrapped my zebra print jacket closer to me. and then he spoke. well i wouldnt call it 'speaking' more like growling like a bear.

"a girl your age shouldnt be out this late in teh narrows."

"maybe you could help me with that." i said sexily.

i don't think he herd my right, or maybe he was just to over-whelmed by my wink and full pouty lips lined in deep purple lipstick becuz he looked like he sucked in his breathe.

"has anyone ever told you how incredibly beautiful you are" he growled, stepping closer.

i almost collapsed. no one ever thought i was pretty, they just ignored me and used me. the batman is the sexiest man evah.

batman must've noticed my swoon because b4 i knew it, he had taken me into his strong arms, holding me up against him. "careful," he rumbled, sending a jolt to the core of my being. "there are used needles on the ground here."

I swooned once agian, looking up into his bright eyes that looked like stars on dark starry night that was full of stars and stars and stars. I was practically melting into his arms. I knew that right at the moment I was in love with this man. above us the stars twinkled through the smog and we gazed into each other's eyes and i cud not beleive it. it was a perfect moment like i had always dreamed of until suddenly the magic was torn apart by a loud explosion and manical laughter.

"ooooooooooh, batman!!"

i turned around and saw...The Joker. he was so sexy too! Oh no, I could fell that I was in luve with two men. i was so sad.

The Jokmer saw trhat i was so sad, and he was sad 2. i could see it in his sexy coal black eyez that glistened like dripping oil in the velvety, silken darkness of the ink-black, bleak night. he was emo and troubled, probably abused as a child, liek me! we had an instant bond! i couldn't stop thinking about how cute we'd look together shopping at the mall...

"back off, joker." growled Batman, his muscles flexing in his anger... which was sort of hot, which sort of made me attracted to Batman again, which made me really confused on which of these hot guyz waz 4 me...

the joker laughed and reached for something in his pocket and pulled out the biggest nife i had evar sen! and b4 i had seen him move, he had pulld me from batmans armz and had the nife against my mouth! the nife smudged my purple lipstick all ovar my alabastar skin, while batman lookeed on in horror...

My heart felt liek it was going to explode because it was pounding so hard from fear and from the eroticness of the situation. Joker hold me close to his chest radiating heat into me and backed away frum Batman.

"You stay away, Batman," Joker yelled at Batman, "or I will kill her!" I knew he wouldn't because I had seen the spark of recognition between us. Joker was just a hurt sole looking for sumone to understand his pain. I could be her.

"You leave her alone, Joker!" Batman didn't move one step because he was afraid it would make Joker hurt me.

Joker laughed maniaclly and threw his head back! "Make me!" he laughed hard and then a big van pulled up behind us to a stop and the door was threw open and Joker pulled me in with him!

joker, you dont want to deform such a beautiful mouth" batman growled, clinching his fists and stepping closer to me. there were drops of sweat rolling down his mask, or were those tears? could batman be an emo too? i didn't know who to love more.

I could feel teh Joker tense up at the mention of his scars, his muscles all tensed. I new this was the core of his pain and I turned to face him, heedless of teh nife and I touched his scars on his face and I said, "I jes want you to know, I don't care about teh scars..."

"You... You don't care about them?" The Joker muttered, looking a little bit flustered, it made him look so much younger, so... unsure.

"Of course I don't, look." I pulled up my sleave to show him what years of abuse by my stepfather had done to me, "We all have scars we're ashamed of, it's ok..."

"She's right." Batman took a step closer, holding his hands up to show he wasn't going to make a grab for me, "We all have scars, Joker, but in time, with help, we can make them heal... Or at least get some bio oil to help them fade."

A single tear ran down the makeup on Joker's face, washing it clean in a single track of tear-stained passion. I, Raven, reached up and wiped it off, revealing his super soft skin that was like a baby's under the makeup.

Batman gasped with a sharp in take of breath, seeing Joker's face without makeup for the first time. "Brain?" Batman breathed, "Brian Napier? Is that you?"

Joker, really Brian Napier, was weeping openly now, bend over double in the pain each sob racked him with. Batman kneeled beside the crying Brian and placed his arm on the smaller man's shoulders, softly shushing him. I felt tears well up in my eyes at the touching sight. I couldn't have loved two men more than I did at that moment.

"no, my name isn't brian...it's ennis...del mar." his kooky voice suddenly turned into a incoherently low growl, with a cowboy twang that smashed all my victorian gothic emo fantasies.

"...ENNIS?" batman said, his voice suddenly sounding familiar to that of jake gyllenhaal's...

"w-w-wut..?"

the caped crusader pulled his mask from his face and to much avail, he also shared the visage of jake gyllenhaal. what the fuck is up i thought, suddenly trapped in between two homosexual cowboys. "it's me, ennis..jack twist. what in the hell happened, ennis?"

"well, you see after i heard about you dyin', i gave up on my life. and i got these scars out on the ranch...i couldn't take it. i wuz too hideous...so i came to the city and started killin' people. like we used to hunt out on brokeback...oh jack!! i can't live like this anymore!!" ennis? cried out, clinging to jack/batmans? cape, heaving.

I could feel my Hello Kitty panties getting all wet as I watched Batman and the Joker, now two sexy gay cowboys, squeeze the living shit out of each other.

"Jack I thought you were dead! where were you all this time?!" Ennis yelped.

"Well, what you heard was true...you see, a couple of guys, who were up to no good...startin making trouble in my neighborhood," said Jackbat. "I got in one little fight and my mom got scared! She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'."

Ennis gasped.

"That's where I've been this whole time, baby...I've missed you so much," said Jackbat. He then squeezed Ennis's butt, and I couldn't believe how lucky I was that I got to watch this hot shit. :3

"But wait, Jack." Ennis looked at me with those big frightened eyes of his, "This isn't just about us now, Jack."

"You're right," Jack said, frowning, he looked at me as well, I wasn't sure which one of them had a more intense stare, so I evened it out by looking between them, just into the distance, "Come on, you, first things first, lets bust you out of this joint and take you back to my mansion-come-authentic-ranch. It's for the best."

"Yeah," Ennis's eyes darkend suddenly, "We'll deal with that son of a bitch step father of yours later."

Jack smiled lovingly at his previous enemy, "Now theres the Joker we all know and love. I'm proud of you.

And in a flash, my pantees dryed up like the sahara dessert. "you pussies i yelled. 'stop being so faggy. liek be a man ok

i mean hte kissing was hot but they were being all sappy and shit. what happened to them loving me? so i decided to be a lebian, see how they liked that! i whipped out my razr and called up harley quinn

"harley quinn i said "your boyfriend is gay with batman"

over the phone, i could hear her gasp and i almost fell over from the hate in her voice when she said "wat

..are u talking about? who iz this??"

"it is i, raven i said and they are so gay,"

"that's so gros but hawt. can we watch themm??"

"bateman and joker r at batmans house, lets go! i'll meet u there!"

At batmans house, there was a pool party. me And harley stripped naked and got into the pool, and our supple bodies were wet with water, and Batman and ennis got erections because we were so hot. i'm goin to fuck you todaaaayy batman screamed then the joker came, and got hot too as he wathed batman fuck us like sluts. ennis got into the poel, and he kissed batman with his tough while batman was fucking our bodies.

every was tired because we had lots of wild out of control orgy sex so everyone was sleeping besides me. i was worried because i just lost my virinity and batman wasn't wearing a condom. so i took out my phone. i looked through my phone book, i didn't have any friends because i was always the outcast. i was a wierdo. but i'm okay with taht i don't need anybody. but i needed to talk to someone about this so i called the only person i could think of, my step sister becky.

"hello" she said.

"hi becky."

"raven?"

"yeah can you keep a secrect i asked'

'okay what?'

"i just had sex and i think i might be pregnant.'

'OMG YOU SLUT I"M TELLING YOU"RE FATHER AND WE YOU GET HOME HE WON"T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!!" she hung up on me

i knew i shouldn't have told becky. she was always a bitch. she was just jealous because i was prettier and smarter than her and now i wasn't a sad virgin anymore like she was. but that's okay i didn't need to go home. nobody there loved me. but the joker and batman did.

i could stay with them forever.

CHAPTER TOW: DA PLOT THIKENS

i woke up next to batman and joker and harley and harley was smiling at me and joker was touching my hair. when batman started smiling at me the love they all had 4 me was to much and i started to cry.

wats wrong teh batman said, worried. are you ok. no i said, my bitch stepsister is going to tell my dad that i might be pregnant and hes gonna come after me or something, i said, crystalline tears flowing down my porclin cheeks.

the joker jumped up and pulled out a knife (wtf i thought he's naked) and yelled 'ill take care of him'

'no' harley screamed 'you promised me you wouldn't kill anymore'

harley darling, the joker said, 'i'm getting really sick of your nagging' and kissed her on the cheek. seeing how pissed of i was, he said 'you two just fight over me while i'm gone. im gonna really give him something to SMILE about'

and with that he was gone

oh no, this was so horible that i began to crai even moar. my dad was a dick but i did not want my new lover to hurt him, so whut could i do?

seeing my aunguishness, harley instantly calmed down and knelt beside me, gently holding my face liek an angel. "now, now, don't worry, batman/jack will take care of it." she glared at him with her ice cold ice blue eyes like icey lazers, "RIGHT BATMAN?!"

batman nodded, looking heroic as he grabbed his cape and mask and hero stuff and my heart fluttered cuz he was so sexy. "never fear my beautiful raven, i will save ur father!"

and with that he was gone 2 and harly and i were all alone.

"see raven it will b ok," Harley said, smiling and looking so beautiful that i felt lezzie again 4 her. my life wuz so confusing! "let's try to think of names for the baby"

suddenly i felt peace wash over me. "i want to name it 4 everyone I love most so i want to name my baby Bajoley. does that sound dumb??"

"no" harley said "that sounds beautiful."

bajoley, bajoely, it was such a beautiful name, that i startwd to cry.

Harley smile her sexy smile at me and my heart burtst with love for her, and for bateman, and the Joker, and for Bajoley, so i kiessd Harley on the mouth, and she kissed me back and i moaned at her.

she moaned back even louder so i moaned again because her moan was so sexy.

"yor beutiful" i said to her as i looked into her ice blue eyes that sent shiverrs down my spine. she leaned closer to me and our lips met in an orgasmic kiss. our tounges battled for dominence as her hands grabbed my orb-like breasts and squeesed. my hands rested on her hips but soon traveled down into her panties and into the silken folds of her wet heat. i began stroking her while we continued to kiss passionatley. her fingers played with my nipples causing them to become erect little pink mountain peaks and increasing my pleasure.

"ooooh raven," harley moaned, braking our kiss. "that feels so good! don't stop!" and i continued my ministrations even tho it wuz hard to concentraite when her caresses roamed further down and between my legs to comb through my downy curls and gently explore the tight hawt flower of my feminity.

we stroked and massaged each others delicate petals until we were panting and groaning and stuff and i craied "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HARLEEEEEEEEEEEE" as my nerves shattered wit the intensity of my climax and i knew she came 2 cuz she called "RAAAVEEEEEN" and shuddered and contracted around my fingers and we collapsed into each others arms spent after our similtaneous orgasms.

"i love you harley" i said and she told me she loved me too and i felt so happy because i finally belonged somewhere. but then i remembered my otether luvers were fighting wit my dad and i got all depressed again. :(

"harlee, whut should i do about my dad and joker and batman?"

"i'm sure everything will b alright, y don't you call batman, he gave you the number to his bat-berry, right?"

"yeah, cuz we tight like that" i said with a glow of happiness until i remembered i was depressed, a single tear rolling down my face as i hit speed dial on my razor because batman was in my five now. his batphone rang for what seemed liek a torturous eternity because he finalee picked up and i shouted "BATMAN WHUT HAPPENED?!"

He didn't answer but I could hear him and the Joker in the backgroud fighting real hard.

"Oh no harlee! Bateman and Ennis are in trouble.' i said. 'i have to help them but if i go down there my dad will recongize me. i know i'll wear a disguise and become a superhero too/1!!11!!

So i hurried and grabbed a purple cloak and wrapped it around myself

"FROM NOW ON I AM THE MASKED RAVEN! No one wil be able to tell my real idenity! (even though I used my actually name as my alias and don't actually have anything to cover my face or change my voice)"

"But Ravey' harley said, 'what about the baby, what about little Bajoley? what if you get hurt?"

mai hart pounded in mai (well endowd) chest as i thought about baby bajoley. but when i thought of mai lovers, batemmen nd jokenniser faighting for me, there undying loev for me burning in there deep shining eyes liek teh deptsh of teh deepest oshun, i nu i had 2 do somefin.

"im sorry, harley" i ansad tears spilling down mai porclin face as i gazed into her blue aiz that wer almost as beatiful as mai violet aiz, even tho, i dun fink thay r beutiful but i hav bin told dey r. "i cant sit here and do nufin. i hav to stop dis."

"u r such a gud persun" harley replaid and her blue aiz welled up wiv tearz.

so i left to go save batman n ennis frm might what happen if my dad lost his cool. he was so abusive to me when i was like five or six and he never loved me that well enough. my mom would cry every night and i wuld have to hold her hand and say to her it was gonna be alright.

so iwas racing back to home to see what was goin on and i found ennis laugin crazy all over the place. i tried to follow the sounds and only got lost to find batman layin on the ground wounded. he stared to me and asked "raven is that u? i thot i was in hell till i saw you" i laughed even tho he was hurt n kneels beside him, caressin his cheek over the mask

"ur gonna be okay i said to him and he laugh coughed and some blood came out. then right as that happebend my dad appears with a shotgun an he asks "raven why are you here with this guy i am ashamed of ur choises"

i started to cry but has to scream n show him that i am more than he thinkx. "dad i toeld him, i am a woman now and i have riggts to be with hoever i want" he lookd at me with sadden eyes and sarted to put down the gun. just then, ennis/joker appears and laughs. he was turnde craz again. "dad what did you do!" i scramed.

Crazy Joker was kicking my dog! "No!" I screamed! That's my dog, the only one that ever loved me! Ennis! I screamed, Ennis, noooo!

Joker loked at me and had a confused smile while he laughed histerically, like a crazy person. I went over to the crazy again Joker and I held him in my arms. He looked into my violeteyes deep with his green ones, like grass and oceans, so deep and I soothed him, "Ennis you dont hav t o do this anymore!" He looked so sad in his deep eyes and he stopped laughing even tho he still smiled and I put my hand on his face sand on his scars and I kissed him on his full lips deeply. Hes lips parted so I could put my toung in and he closed his eyes and my eyes rolled back in the Passiion of our kiss and I felt him hardening in his pants. We were both panting hard when we finaly broke the kiss and he looked into my eyes.

A tear fell down his cheek and I kissed it off of him. He loked into my eyes and said Thank you, Raven. You are my saving angel bird! And I blushed because he still had a hard on for me.

My dad saw us and hes heart broke! But he was still mad and he yelled GET OUT! Get out of my life!

And I started to cry at my passion for Enis and Bateman and Harley and Bajoley and yelled back, "I have a new family! They love me and they love my baby! " I took my dog and we were about to leave, but my water broke! I WAS HAVING THE BABY!

"Oh my god!" Bateman was shokked! "Whut do we do?!"

but Ennis was so good and loving, he piked me up in his arms and held me like a baby and said "BATMAN! Get the car!" so we culd go to a hospital!

'dont worry mai prezios darlin' ennis said wit such compashion i almost craid again 'we will save u!1'

i thoought i wuz gonna dai! it hurt sooooo bad. i never thought bbs hurt dis bad.

juz den batman pulled up in his batcarmobilething n threw me in there. i almost wanted 2 crai out 'wut da fuxx!?' but i was in 2 much pain. maybe next time.

so anyways, we drive ALL the way 2 the hospital, which takes 2 seconds. ennis is still hard from are secks craized kiss we did. i was starting to worry about him, but then i remember i wuz about 2 hav a bb and stopped worrying about him!

we told da doctors wut happened n all he did wuz stair at me in some wurd wai. i dunno how 2 even describeee it! i almost felt emmbarrasssed i let ennis and batjack fuckz me till i rememmbered how gudd it wuz.

FINALEE teh doctors snapped outta it and next thing i knew i wuz in the delivery room!

i guess everybody wasn't bullshittin me cuz labor hurt liek whoa and i felt like my body was being torn in two. the nurses and the doctors were runnin alll around and it wuz rly confusing but batmanz and jokerennis stayed right by my side the whole time each one holding one of my hands and joker STILL had a hard on but whutever. "SOME CALL HARLEE SO SHE CAN BE HERE 2!" i yelled as i tossed them my razor "i want our familee to b 2gether!"

"NO CELPHONES IN TEH DELIVERY ROOM!" one of the doctors yelled. whut a dick! so batjack and joker went 2 call her tellin me they'd brb.

then sudennly a new doctor came into teh room and i cud not beleive it cuz he wuz rly sexie! he smiled me and said "my name is dr crane and i'm going to take good care of u"

doctor crane had hair like straw and the moon and suns weavd together in 1 hairs. when he smilld 2 me i thot maybe i was iun love agian but it was just feelings comin out that i tryd to hid b4.

"so how r u feeling raven" he askde me with pashence. i was gonna cry cuz i still hurted a bit on the inside of my soft n moist vaginaz. but i didt n i smild back to him with happyness n said "im doin okay how do u know my name"

he laugh at me like somethin i said was dumb and he saids "raven i have been watching u for a while now ur a very speccial girl. there's soming u don't know yet thoug so i have 2 tell u so you know it now" he walkd over to me and sat next to my tired body n stroked my porceline cheek with his boyihs fingrs. "raven u have secret powers that were given 2 u at birth. u aren't like everyon else. only u can save the earth." this was bad news. i didnt want 2 save the earth i had a baby 2 tak care of and some thing 2 tell my lovers because i wanted to have a marrage. "no i scramed.

"r u afraid?" dr crayne asked giggling leik a little gurl all of a sudden and wasn't nice at all ne more and i almost yelled "WUT TEH FUXX?!1?" again "itz ok cuz u won't get the chance 2 use yer powahz becuase i'm here to kill u an yer baby!!1!!"

"WUT TEH FUXX?!11" i finalee yelled unable to containe my urge any longer when he put on this ugly ass bag on his hed and wuz less sexi or maybe he wuz still sexie an i cudn't decide. he thru dis powder shit at teh other doctorz n nurses and they started screaming an crying and i did'nt kno whut wuz going on! then he started to throw teh powder me!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1!!11!!" i scremed again feelin a force inside me unlike anyting i had evah felt b4 except maybee bateman n joker last night. i had 2 protect my babee!! liek a powah grater than myself wuz takin ovah me i craied "RAVEN LOVE SHIELD ACTIVATE!!"

suddenly a HUGE pink hart surounded me & my bb. i wuz in awmazement! i nevr new that i had supah powahs. i thought dis crane dood wuz just bullshitting me.

once dr craniac noticed my love sheild he screamed 'noooooo!! I HAVE FAYLED!111!'

he then dropped 2 hiz kneez n started 2 crai. i wuz still in shock but den i felt the bb move n i wuz lyk 'OH NOEZ!'

dr crain wuz still scraming sum random wurds. i could not comprihend them though.

so, ALL of the sudden batjack and jokerennis pop outta no where n make dr crain crai lyk a bb(hehe, bb). ennis cut a smyl in his face n batman kept kicking him.

after they wur done they came over to me n they both said at the same tym 'ur havin the bb1!!1' then HARVEE came and look at me with a worried look which made me worried.

'BAJOLEY'S GONNA POP OUT GUISE!!11' harvey yelled rlly loudly.

"breath" bateman grunted at me and the joker held my hand.

"AHHHHH" I screamed and i felt something pop out of me like a cork out of a champange bottle.

"that's not right' i heard harley say

"what?" i asked all worried because i was really worried.

harley held up little Bajoley and i could see the bb was black. that didn't make any sense because none of us were. now we were going to have to go on jerry springer :o

i wuz so confused!! and so was every1 else and joker started laffing and batman got mad and said "whutz so funny?" and joker said "this reminds me of this one joke..."

"shut up ennis!" batman growled liek sum ferocios jungle cat. "raven" he sed vry srsly as he turned 2 me "who else have u had sexxors with?"

"no one!" i craied but den bajoley started 2 crai and even tho teh baby didnt' look liek me i knew it wuz mine cuz nuthin is stronger than a mothers love and i said "gimme dat!" and grabbeded the kid from harley then looked back at batman, my amythist eyes luminus with tears "u were my first... then joker n harley... i..." i sniffled "...i rly love u all..."

bateman looked ashamed fer being such a douchbag an said "i luv u 2 raven. i'm sorry i was a dick. i just wish someone cud explane dis"

"i think i can" sed a new voice from teh doorway. it wuz sum old black dude i nevah saw before and i asked "who r u??"

"dat's lucius foxx" batman said "we all cool and stuff. whut r u doing herre louscius?"

"i came 2 see my daugther and grandkid" lucius said "raven... i am yer father"

"Nooo! That's immpossible!" I shouted

"Search your feelings, Raven. You know it to be true."