Chapter 1: Mossy Birthday, Bakura!

A/N: Heyheyhey, I'm drivenbyrevenge. I usually write crazy A/Ns but imam try and just get on with this, all right firstly here's a few notes to explain a few things I give warning: The first chap isn't very funny, it's more of a lead up to more stuff etc, so if you aren't laughing, it's fine Ok, I do not have a name for this yet, sorry about that :P

Yami Marik is referred to as Malik in this (yes I know some people do it the opposite way, I don't care.)

Yami Bakura is Bakura and Hikari Bakura is Ryou, you'll be familiar with that set up.

It is indeed, a comedy, so at times you will question my sanity.

While I may have a bunch of guys living together, there's no yaoi or shonen-ai, sorry about that. (you want that go read to To Touch You).
Okay, that's enough rambling from me, read on. I own nothing.

After winning a duel against Seto, Yami has convinced him to let them all stay in his mansion, separate rooms of course. Somewhere along the way Bakura and Marik invited themselves as well on the agreement that everyone would try and get along, Seto, feeling overwhelmed, gave in.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Bakura looked disdainfully down at the creation before him. It was supposedly a birthday cake, made by Marik…but it seemed to represent a grey ramshackle building, tall and teetering dangerously to one side, a collection of brightly lit candles looking up at him. There was some greyish cream lining the second layer and iced writing on the top which apparently said: Happy birthday Bakura.

Bakura sighed and looked up. He was at the end of the table, Yami on his right, eyes at the sky probably praying he didn't have to eat the cake. On the left Yugi was staring at the cake with a terrified expression, Tea looked as if she would vomit at any time and Kaiba was smirking. Malik looking annoyed like he usually did and of course, directly opposite Bakura was Marik, an expectant expression on his face, party popper poised in his grip

"Give it a try, Bakura! It's much better than the others! I didn't even need recipe this time!"

Ryou sniggered from where he was standing behind Bakura, remembering Marik's month of practice cakes, each more daunting than the last. Bakura hesitated then shouted.

"That's the door! I'll get it!" He rushed out.

"I didn't hear the…" Yugi began before Kaiba clapped a hand across his mouth and sneered.

"Shut it! If it doesn't get cut, we don't have to eat it…"

Yami shot them a look of agreement and Ryou smiled a little. Marik stayed oblivious.

"I decided to make a blue cake," Marik explained, "It seems to have gone a little grey, but it matches Bakura's personality now."

"What was that?" Bakura glared coldly as he came back from the door, at which no-one had knocked.

"Just sayin," Marik shrugged, "Now c'mon, try the cake!"

Bakura glared, "You owe me big," He sat and cut a tiny slice of the strange smelling grey-green 'cake'.

"Woo!" Marik pulled the string of the popper making Yugi fall from his chair in panic and dive under the table, clinging to Yami's leg.

"I want a black coffin, indigo satin lining….write that down," Bakura nodded at Malik who snorted.

Bakura took a bite of the cake, which tasted salty…and strangely…moist…Bakura gagged and looked up, "Marik…what the fuck is in this?"

Marik just smiled and said proudly, "The secret ingredient, is moss."

"MOSS? The cake is make of moss?" Bakura stood up, scooped some of the cake in his hand and hurled it at Marik. Marik wiped cake from his face and stood up.

"Why are we attacking the baker?" Marik whimpered.

"Look at what you did to my hikari!" Yami showed Marik his leg, to which Yugi was still clinging, muttering about the apocalypse.

Yami went to punch Marik before Tea intercepted, "Look, it's late…" She pointed at the clock showing 11pm, they'd been up all day waiting for the cake to cook, "Let's just get some sleep. Seto you have our rooms ready?"

Seto nodded, "I didn't want to spear too many rooms because I'm a selfish cheapskate like that, so we're all sharing rooms, two people to one."

Marik, immediately rushed off to prepare for bed, after years of sleeping in the same room as Malik, he'd taken to sleeping with several hessian bags over his head, to block out the eye of Wdjat which Malik hadn't figured out how to turn off.

With Marik gone, Seto began to tell everyone who they were paired with, "Yugi, you're with Malik."

"Yay…" Yugi twitched as Malik gave him a friendly slap on the back, making him jump a mile high in the air.

Seto rolled his eyes, "Bakura you're with Yami…"

"What idiot decided that…" Yami glared at his enemy.

"Tea, you're with Marik, who I guess is already in bed…and Ryou you're with me."

Ryou frowned, "Why aren't we just in logical pairings where we'd all get along?"

Seto snorted, "Obviously because that wouldn't suit the writer's plans."

With that they all dispatched to their rooms.

A/N:

Okey dokey. There ya go! The first chap. Sorry it's short, I have more planned but it seemed right to end it there. More will be up tomorrow

Please review, it means a lot. Thanks for reading.