((So here it is, the first and so far only Welcome To Night Vale/Paranatural crossover. Enjoy!))
Episode 1 - The New Kid
A dead average suburb known as the town between two hills...
A place where even the most normal local is at least a bit odd, and where some of us can see flitting purple things and others even more.
Welcome to Mayview.
First off, the important stuff. The unchallenged Journalism Queen of the middle school, Suzy, has sent out a reminder that in order to leave the newspaper schedule open to breaking news, their required "Clubs of the School" article must be complete first. She has therefore distributed forms to each and every club, adding that the not-at-all menacing but vaguely named Activity Club especially must complete the form.
I have one here, actually. It is printed on pink paper, and bears the words "Journalism Club Survey" along the top in curly letters. It is quite fancy; I do declare Suzy has poured out her heart into making these forms, so do please fill them in quickly!
Three new people have moved into town, being two children and a man. The man, as expected, is the father of the children. There is no mother.
They have taken up residence in the convenience store apartment, which means that the store will finally be open again despite the rumors of it being haunted. I for one believe that this is great news!
Mr. Starchman would like to remind us that as the middle school year is beginning, all Starchman Stars from the previous year are no longer valid currency. However, Lisa, you know, the girl what runs the School Store, has released an official statement saying that she will be accepting Stars from any point in time, as long as they are relatively whole. It appears that our favorite English teacher is going to have competition.
Update on that new family! The father is a tall and skinny man, with brown hair in a ponytail and glasses that make him look like a stereotypical nerd. He is quite bouncy and childish, although he does seem to reference many different things from pop culture and go into long monologues. He has been observed singing Bohemian Rhapsody on several occasions - in other words, he's the perfect fit for the Corner Store, which was always an odd place anyways.
The younger child is female, and her name is Zoey. She has her father's hairstyle, but it is colored red, and she is simultaneously more responsible but also more hyper than her father. She starts elementary school today, so be sure to say hello to her!
The third person is a young man starting seventh grade. He is mysterious and quiet, and has been seen riding a very cool scooter around. He is short for his age, and wears a blue baseball cap. Just what is his name? Will we ever find out? I am sure the truth will come up eventually, but for now we will wait.
And now, the schedule of events.
On Monday, the first day of the school here, I have another reminder that all clubs should pick up and fill out the Journalism Club form. Especially the Activity Club. Really. Just fill it out already. It isn't that hard to write things on a piece of paper, you know, so please just do it or the Journalism Club will blackmail you, ha ha lol jk but seriously fill it out.
...That's what the memo says.
On Tuesday, it will be National Door Day. Hug your favorite door! Do it! Who cares if doors are usually very uncomfortable to hug, or that they are likely not sentient and therefore will not understand the favor? Nobody, that's who! So go hug the door you like the most on Tuesday!
On Wednesday, everyone's favorite scourge of the seventh grade, the one that goes by the menacing moniker Johnny, will be collecting for charity. You do not need to go to him, for he or a member of his gang will come to you and collect your donation. They will accept 50 cents, a dollar, or five dollars. Change will be provided if you cannot meet one of these amounts. Everyone must donate. It is not optional. Donate.
90% of the proceeds will go to the Red Cross to further cancer research. It sounds like a worthy cause - I'll be donating five dollars myself!
On some day of the week, the Activity Club will be taking a trip out of town. Only Activity Club members and those invited by Activity Club leaders are allowed to come along. Do not follow the Activity Club to their destination. If they want you to come, they will let you know. They will always let you know.
We now know that mysterious and cool kid's name - it's Maxwell Puckett, or Max. He got in a fight with Johnny and threw a can of tomato soup at him, causing Johnny to fight him again and win. He also pushed through a crowd of imaginary people only he could see on his way to class, and claimed there was something on Johnny's head other than that brilliant red hair dye he always wears. What a cool kid indeed, not caring what anyone thinks, believing his own fantasies! Heck, he even earned a Starchman Star his very first day and that is no small task. Maxwell even sleeps in the "haunted" room of the apartment store, according to his sister.
Mayview, we have a very special new kid indeed. Wow.
And now, traffic.
In the elementary school, hallways are wide as usual. Nearly everyone is going to around the same place at around the same time, so navigating the halls should be a breeze. Keep an eye out around the cafeteria, though, because it gets congested around the lunch for fourth and fifth graders; this is due to the fact that it coincides with second and third grade recess.
In the middle school, I've received reports of purple crowds of people blocking the halls that aren't actually there . Only some people can feel the purple people, like our new guest Maxwell, and we can see them if we squint, but they are not there. Not at all. Also, the cafeteria food is much better now, so lines will be long.
The high school's leftmost second floor hallway is closed because of a rather unfortunate leak. Classrooms in the leftmost second floor hallway will be temporarily evacuated, and classrooms in the leftmost first floor hallway directly below the classrooms in the leftmost second floor hallway will be put on watch. Expect to see higher congestion on the second floor due to this. Also, the library has several new printers and computers, so look out for traffic around those areas as the kids attempt to figure out which leisure sites aren't blocked while playing games on the computers even though they've been told multiple times not to.
There have been offhand reports of a strange barrier surrounding Mayview. I went out to see for myself the other day, and ran straight into it. It is completely invisible, and it made a sound that would best be described as "vworp" or "woob" when I touched it. I would suggest everyone attempt to touch the barrier at least once, because if you're going on a road trip out of town and you can feel it, well, it didn't seem passable and you'd probably be crushed up against it and then die. But hey, at least you wouldn't have to take another one of those infamous pop quizzes, right?
Speaking of dying, today's Ridiculously Idiotic Death is doing the Cha Cha Slide atop the Eiffel tower. Remember, there's not enough room up there to do all the dance moves, especially with all those tourists. You're probably going to fall off.
Well, that's all the news I have today, Mayview. It's getting dark soon, and the mysterious colors only some of us see are taking strange shapes and glowing prettily. It's going to be quiet out there, nothing but a light summer breeze rustling around. If you're still interested in listening to the radio, we're going to play a little podcast next that sounds similar to this radio show, but at the same time is so different that it sends chills up your spine and when it ends, you lie in bed and once more remember that Mayview, gorgeous though it is, is not the only place on this Earth and that we are all tiny sparkling ants on a tiny sparkling planet.
In other words, listeners, may we meet again.
End Episode 1
((Well, that's all for now. Not sure if I'll continue it or not, but feel free to review all you like!))
((As in please review.))
((-Ivy))