Realisation
I Margret (Maggie) Amell had always a good little mage, I never got in trouble at the Circle, never tried to escape, I always said my prayers like a good little Andrastrian, did all my work set by the senior enchanters and even volunteered to do extra work. And I'm ashamed to admit now that I actually never minded being in the Circle, sure I would have liked to go outside sometimes (that goes without saying), but apart from that I never knew any other way of life than the Circle as I had been brought there when I was very young and had no memory of my life before and therefore had no other way of life to compare it to, to me it was normal and I liked it. I always heard from other mages about what an injustice it was for mages to be taken from their family and be locked away, but to me it seemed logical after all where else were mages to learn how to harness their power and increase it. You always heard about the people who were continually trying to escape and about the few people who actually managed it, but they always got brought back so I never saw the reason to try. Why torture yourself with the knowledge of what it was like to live outside the Circle and then suffer again and again as you get dragged back. No, I was happy with my life, I was at the top of all my classes, had and steady string of flings with other mages and had recently passes my harrowing. (Quickest, cleanest ever they say, not that I'm bragging.)
Then it all changed when my best friend Jowan had to screw it up for me. I still think that to this day that if Jowan hadn't gone and got himself laid then I would still be blissfully unaware of life outside the Circle. But no Jowan had to go 'fall in love' with a Chantary initiate, with hind sight I should have just shagged him myself and none of it would have happened. Anyway you probably know what happens next but if not I'll give you a brief highlight.
Jowan introduces me to his girlfriend (he could have done SO much better) tells me that they are planning to run away together (just like that, it's not as if you have to plan for months to escape the circle, the way they talked about leaving made you think that you could just walk out the door.)But it's OK because Lilly has a plan in which she and Jowan do nothing and where I do EVERTHING! So yeah I get to go find a fire rod to burn down a door (was never going to work) and to do this I had to go talk to the creepy tranquil guy, clear a stock room from spiders and get a stupid permission slip signed.
So then we go to the basement where the blood is stored and Lilly and Jowan are surprised when the second door doesn't just burn down when I wave a stick at it. Lilly promptly gives up in which I agree saying we should go back but then Lilly has a massive change of heart where she urges Jowan not to give up (bi-polar or what.) Eventually the blind idiots spot the door at the other end of the hall and we headed down it having no idea where it led all the while getting attack by suits of armour (whatever I may say about Lilly, I'll admit she's got balls I certainly wouldn't run up to a magical suit of armour in nothing but Chantary robes and throw flimsy punches at it, then again I'm a mage so I get a staff.) So yeah we eventually get to a room with some actual cool stuff in it like this awesome talking statue, Lilly started crapping herself the moment it said it was from Tevinter, such a bore. We then blow our way into the room the blood is stored in and Jowan gives a really creepy speech about how the phial is all that's between him and freedom. Now loads of people have asked me that if mine had been there would I have destroyed mine, and honesty back then I probably wouldn't have, but know I would have smashed everyone in there, it's funny now your attitude can change.
So of course we got caught the moment we left the basement (to tell you the truth I was amazed we didn't get caught sooner) and by this point maybe if we'd begged enough they wouldn't have made us tranquil or sent us to the mage prison, but then Jowan had to go bat shit insane and perform blood magic. After that Lilly and Jowan break up (tragic I know, especially after all the work 'I' put in to get them free) and Jowan runs off and somehow manages to evade every templar between where we were and the door and simply just walk out.
This next part was where it all kicked off for me, I had the Knight-Commander shouting that I was going to be punished and the First Enchanter saying how disappointed he was in me. It was round about there when I was preparing to get on my hands and knees and beg for forgiveness when the Grey Warden I had meet earlier Duncan strolled over and asked me if I wanted to be a Grey Warden. That was a very strange moment for me because after looking at how I felt in relation to the Circle you would think that I would flat out refuse, but I didn't. I stopped and really thought about what I was being offered, the chance to actually use my magic instead of just practicing and the chance to finally taste a different lifestyle without the impending doom of being dragged back to the Circle looming over me. So with the options carefully considered I said yes, I'm pretty sure even Duncan was surprised by my answer.
Now I'm just going to fast forward over the rest because it's really busy and would take too much time to explain but basically; darkspawn, undead army, demon child, ashes of a dead woman, dwarves, deep roads, elves, werewolves, politics, dragons and battles. And that brings us to now, sat at camp on the way back to Vigil's Keep after a shopping spree in the city. It actually amazes me how busy my life had been since I'd left the tower, sometimes it felt that I didn't have time to breath. However I had had time to think about my attitude to the Circle and I realised the fault with it is the fact that it's so permanent, if it was more like a school with holidays to go visit your family and you could leave after your harrowing to go and actually use your magic, because let's face it by that point you've proven you can resist demons so there's no point in keeping you there. I had expressed my idea to Anders and he seemed to think it was a great idea, however that was the problem with only asking the views of other mages.
I sat on a log next to Anders and laughed as we watched Ogren try and light the camp fire, Sigrun and Nate were off hunting (cough-getting off-cough) and Justice was trying (and failing) to pitch his tent.
"Oh sod this you flaming nug-humper" Orgen shouted throwing the two pieces of flint away from him. I laugh so hard as he went off in a mardy and sat on the other side of the camp.
"Oh when will he learn" Anders laughed. "Although we really do need that fire lighting" he said. I made to stand up to grab the pieces of flint of I could light the fire when Anders stopped me. "It's okay I'll do it." He smiled and then simply shot a small fire ball into the pile of fire wood.
"Man I never get tired of that." I must have had a confused look on my face because he elaborated.
"You know using my magic whenever I like and knowing that the Chantary can go and kiss the makers arse if they try and stop me" Anders then burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.
Now I know I'm probably going to get called an idiot but in the two years I had been out the Circle I had never made the connection that being a grey Warden put me above the Chantary in term of importance and that they no longer had any control over me (hey don't judge me, I've been really busy ending a blight and all that.) I don't really know what happened after that but I grabbed the nearest goblet poured out the water it contained and then whispered a spell and water poured out of my hand into the goblet. By now Anders had stopped laughing and just looked at me strangely, I just smiled back at him and stood up, walked over to justice pulled him away from the pile of sheets that was supposed to be his tent and used and telekinesis spell to put it up for him. I went over to Orgen who was complaining that his beer was warm so I froze it solid (got a tiny bit carried away on that one.) And this carried on for hours, I used magic to do everything for me. I can't even describe the feeling of finally just using magic for anything I wanted it for, although it did tire me out after a while I made sure the that I gave Anders a proper thank you (nudge nudge wink wink) for helping me realise that me and my magic were finally free.