A/N This is the beginning of the squeal for Chuck vs oh crap. It picks up the day after everyone life gets turned upside down. If you have not read Chuck vs oh crap, this chapter will probably make very little sense to you.
I own nothing of interest, like Chuck or any other reference except for a few new characters such as the director, etc. Those are easy to pick out I hope. And if not, they you need to brush up on the first two seasons of Chuck. If the rest is confusing, then I suggest you read Chuck vs. the Oh Crap.
All my mistakes are my own. So far those I have had no luck in finding a beta. But I will keep trying. As well I am trying to keep to a chapter every Monday. If there is anyone here that remembers the last one, I will try honestly to put one out a week, honestly!
FYI Still got an ad out for a Casey doll to protect me… Anybody find one at Comic Con?
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The Distant Past
Day 2 minus 11 years or so
One very grey looking man was lying in a hospital bed looking out at the white wall of the other wing of his DC hospital when he hears his door open. "Oh come on worry wart, you've only been gone 10 minutes..."
"Now do I look at like a worry wart to you?" He looks up from the bed to see Arthur Graham with his arms crossed smiling that wicked smile when he wants something.
"Oh Crap, you do actually. Virginia is going to be upset that she was not here when you finally poked you scrawny neck in."
Graham laughs and pulls up a chair "I have to be on a plane in a couple of hours. So is it true? You want to get your sorry butts out of the game."
Hawk laughs but it quickly turns into a coughing fit "Take off eh?. Crap, don't do that to the dying."
"After all the work we put into Zodiac, are you sure you want to leave it to others. Virginia won't stay if you don't, I can't come back, I'm too involved in a special project. I couldn't sit around and drink coffee all day anyways. Besides I look terrible in a trench coat.."
Hawk smiled "You are rambling again. For a man of few words you do like to run off at the mouth occasionally. I let me hazard a guess, the Director wanted you to come over here and talk us out of it"
"Yes, he might have given me a heads up, but I would have come as soon as I heard anyways. This just gave me an executive jet instead of flying coach, and a little more info. You guys are the exception that makes the rule you know. That's why the Director wants you out in the field. No one can break a cover that is as real as yours. No one would believe you are spies. That's what gives you the edge."
"Oh crap Art, neither of us really wants to, but when the twins started school and we got talked back into part time there were risks. You got shot in the back saving them last year. Remember that crappy night."
"Yes Art if you don't, I sure as heck do." The voice behind them speaks softly.
Graham gets up at that point and turns to hugs the small woman that always has the bad habit of sneaking up behind him. "Good to see you again Virginia, I've missed playing poker with you."
"So have I, I could use a new dress, but seriously it took eighteen months to track down all those responsible for that night. And it nearly killed Hawk this time. In the past two years I nearly lost my whole family, and that includes you, you big lug. Here is an idea, come retire with us. There is a place we have in Canada that is beautiful enough that you might even crack a smile. "
"You are both the closest thing to a family, but I have to see this project I'm on though. It's personal Virginia, and will be years before it is ready." he speaks up "Let's face it Hawks been poisoned so many times, if it hasn't killed him by now, then it never will. It's that coffee that runs through his veins, it neutralizes any poison"
Graham ducks just in time to miss the pillow aimed at his head.
"Ok, if you are so short on time, spill the beans and get it over with." Hawk then slowly gets up to sits on the side of the bed.
Graham watched his struggle and what little blood he had left drain from his friends face. Virginia and he would go over and give him a hand with nothing ever said. Hawk would just get mad and somewhere in the future get revenge. Last time he gave unsolicited help, he got a knock out drug in his lunch, and when he awoke he was dressed in a pink bunny outfit, sprinkled in the hind end with itching power and the zipper glued shut. To make matters worse he was late for his first meeting with the new director.
"Here is what the Director is offering; Agent Montgomery has decided to return to his full time instructor position for the NSA. I think he is interested in someone over there personally, but that leaves Cancer post looking for a new head. You can resume your medical career and be a CIA doctor again, running the rehab centre we have through the Sydney Hospital, Virginia can run the field training side we want to open up. Her cover would be running the restaurant that is the current front. The designs need to be updated to something more useful, more then just a safe communications relay point. You two proposed something last year, and they want you to turn Cancer into the base you have been complaining we needed for years. The director even said that you can have your coffee shop and drink all the profits. "
"There will still be missions. As Dr. And Mrs Percy I am sure you can attend the high society balls. You know how evil doers love a fancy party. Your jobs will be more mission planning and overseeing training."
"Crap" Hawk looks up to the heaven "let me guess, 'stay in the car'. Neither of us has been able to do that."
Graham looks at both of his closest friends and realized that they are not going to take it. "Time for the knockout punch." "Listen I pushed for this. I know how much this life means to both of you. I also know that family will always come first. I am trying to find a compromise. For the next few years you can still be with the twins, and you can even put them to work in the restaurant. You can be a family and still do important work. Besides I need to know someone somewhere still in the service will have my back."
Hawk and Virginia glance at each other; Graham took a lot of effort not to smile. He couldn't read the silent language very well, but he knew he had them.
"Art give us a few days to think about it. Now, I really need to use the facilities. Pass that contraption over."
Graham passes over the walker and Hawk unstably at first rises to his feet. Still a little shaky from the effects of the poison, but he does manage to get up and slowly headed to use the facilities. Virginia gets up too and gives Graham a hug. "Come over and have supper with us and the twins when you get back. They would love to see their godfather again. We can talk more about it then" And with that she kisses Hawk and heads out.
Graham sits down and opens the file he brought with him. Jack Burton scammed a lot of people over the years and a motorcycle gang has tracked him down. Graham was going down to arrest him. This case was very personal; there aren't too many people Graham could say that he owned anything too. Hawk and Virginia were two and Lisa crap it was just the wrong person at the wrong time. He pulls out his phone "I need an identity set up for a 17 year old female. Name" He looks around the room as spies a Sara Lee cake. "Let's make it Sarah Lisa…." He looks at Hawk returning "Walker. Have that ready in about two hours."
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A/N
The whole purpose of this is to have a good laugh. This AU will be based first two seasons, but when season three comes it will be blown out of the water I'm sure. For those of you who did not read Chuck vs oh crap, I hope this will be funny and confusing (yes I started the last one off having people shake their heads too). And I promise it will not be like 4 chapters before we see Sarah like last time. She is in the next chapter. Really Honestly! I called it Breakfast of Chumpions!