Lost and Lonely

by AmandaFaye

To save his realm from The Grey Slayer, Jareth flees, is injured. During his coma, Linden Avery, the Chosen watches over him. JS

DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN SARAH, JARETH , LINDEN OR ANYTHING AT ALL. THIS IS SLIGHTLY AU FOR THE CHRONICLES OF THOMAS COVENANT- BY STEPHEN R DONALDSON, TAKES PLACE POST WHITE GOLD WIELDER AND PRE RUNES OF THE EARTH. ABOUT TEN YEARS AFTER LABYRINTH WHICH IS OWNED BY GEORGE LUCAS JIM HENSON ETC. WILL MAKE NO SENSE IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE AND READ THE BOOKS. SAVVY?

He wasn't like most of the other patients. Whatever his madness, it was a silent one, trapping him effectively in a prison that hid whatever sanity or insanity ruled his life, such as it was. Unlike those who screamed, who bled, who demanded- he did none of that. Just sat there, lay there, day after day with no sounds, nothing. Merely doing that or not doing hurt more than any violence or screams. Ever since Patient X had entered the hospital, a remainder of my past, those days on the Starfare's Gem, watching Covenant locked in his Silence that everyone seemed think I SHOULD cure, but couldn't, well almost everyone. Findail didn't even want me to. Who knew what was on Vain's mind?

Patient X, so labeled by the officious types who would most likely prefer to reduce people to numbers on files, had been found several months ago, catatonic, yet healthy. Some of his readings were off, but given his general good health, perhaps off was normative for him. Because of his unusual, to be kind, appearance, that seemed rather logical to conclude. His hair was a silvery blonde chaos. Gaunt as he was, I'd expect a child to be able to snap him in two, but on a closer look, it was not a fragile leanness, but a sparseness that wasted nothing on the non useful. His eyes ignored the attempts to peer into their mystery, and each one was its own color. Most disquieting was this; whenever I drew close to Patient X, the white gold band I wore around my neck seemed to begin to wake, though white gold held no magic in this world. If it did, I might dare to try and wake him. Or perhaps not. It was the wild magic that defied the law.

After one last look in on him, I went home, falling into bed as soon as possible, seeking oblivion from the pain.

But tonight was not willing to cede that gift to me. Sleep carried me to another land, to the Land. Even after years had passed, I'd know Andelain anywhere, though my glimpse of that piece of heaven broken and set on another Earth had been brief. Joy and fear mingled. Its beauty defied description, and defined beauty.

The Dead walked here. Perhaps not. I had made a new staff of law, maybe that allowed them to rest now. I hoped so. Seeing them again would not be good. . Yet, it would be. Years had passed here, centuries there. Surely Sunder and Hollian were among the dead now, and that was a source of pain. Perhaps enough time had elapsed for everyone I loved to be there, even the First and Pitchwife, though Giants were long lived. I definitely did not want to see Covenant's dead. Foamfollower might not be so bad; but there were others. Bannor- a sanctimonious Bloodguard or any Haruchai was not on my list of want to see people. Elena or Lena. No. I did not want to see another woman the man I loved had been involved with, bad enough that his ex wife was my star patient.

Despite my wishes, the starlight formed into one of the Haruchai before my grumbling rambling had concluded. Not just any Haruchai, the Haruchai. Akhuru Kenastin Ardenol, also known as simply Brinn.

"Chosen." His voice lashed out like an accusation, reminding me of every failure, every way I was short of perfection, unlike him. Was I being sarcastic? Sorry, not.

"I hear you, Brinn. Why am I here? Why are YOU here? You didn't come back to the Land with us, you stayed on that sunken Isle of the One Tree. Is Foul back? He can't be- not after …" I trailed off, unable to complete the thought aloud, not after Covenant DIED to stop him.

"The ur-Lord did not die," he corrected, as if he'd heard me.

"Close enough."

"I do not have time to explain it to you- know this, Linden Avery, Chosen One, more worlds exist than yours, than mine."

"So?"

"Despair and despite can cross worlds and time."

"You haven't told me a thing that I didn't know already, Brinn. You aren't dead, so those rules that made Elena, Mhorham, etc. have to act so damned enigmatic don't bind you. Just say what you mean, for once." My rage was kept in check, but he knew I was angry, and how much.

"The Silence." His two words seemed even more enigmatic than the first, but two scenes in my memories came together, melding into an amalgamation of past and present. Covenant standing locked in that prison the Appointed's people placed him in to preserve his soul and the world. Patient X lying unresponsive in my hospital.

"Is he from the Land?" my urgent question demanded an answer that was met with disdain. He had already told me that there were other worlds, and would not deign to repeat himself.

"So, Foul wants to take over another world?"

"One is the first step to many."

At the moment, I couldn't think of words rank enough to rail at him with; that blasted implacability that his people had perfected could drive a saint mad, and I'm not a saint.

"Just tell me what you want me to do and then let me get some sleep. Some of us are mere humans, in case you forgot."

"I know well your fallibility, Linden Avery." His words held images that I couldn't face. How I'd almost killed Ceer, failed to save Thomas Covenant, killed my mother in the guise of mercy. Damn him.

"Get on with it," I bit out in anger.

"Save him lest the world die in a flood of tears."

"How poetic. Maybe the giants were a good influence on you after all."

But, he wasn't there to hear my caustic comment, and I was no longer in Andelain. Darkness folded me into sleep.

No matter that it could have been nothing but a dream- though why the blazes I'd dream of Brinn of all people, or that I'd like to defy him if he was real, at the first opportune moment, I returned to Patient X's room, taking a seat beside his bed.

"So, " I began without promise. "The thing is this; a prissy, self righteous, ultimate warrior haunted me last night and implied that I have to save you - only he didn't say what or really, if you are the one I'm supposed to save, it's just my best guess. Since he didn't tell me I was wrong, and I'm fairly sure he'd have jumped all over the chance to do so, I guess I'm right. But how? I don't have my sight, not the kind that can see what's wrong and fix it. This ring," I fingered the argent band, noting that it had something of a kin hue to his hair, "is nothing here. Just a reminder. I can't use it to go into your head and unlock you."

Coma patients sometimes responded to being spoken to - maybe if I just talked to him. Maybe… I'd never really talked to anyone about the Land. I needed to. If nothing else, maybe I'd feel better or he'd wake up and tell me I was nuts. Would that satisfy you, Brinn?

"Seven years ago, I was new in town and my first assignment was to go out to Haven Farm and just talk to Thomas Covenant. It was a set up. Covenant was a leper. And he was keeping his ex - Joan, under lock and key. Not for any terrible purpose, just because he was her only hope. She was insane, and the only sanity she had was bought with a price, his blood - she drank it and would calm down. Some cult had twisted her to make her like that. He pushed me away, but then, that cult came after Joan - offering to ransom her for his life. So, he went to them, and I followed. To make sure he'd agree to being a sacrifice, the worshippers began sticking their hands in the fire, until he agreed. It didn't take long. So - he went forward, with a smile, right into a knife. I tried to stop it, but - I don't know how yet, we were swept to a place called the Land. Covenant healed himself with this, this ring. If you'd wake up, I'd show it to you. He wasn't a stranger there. An old man met us there in the rain and when he saw Covenant, he began naming him, Ur Lord, Illender, Prover of Life. Ringthane.

"White gold wielder. Ten years back from that our time, four thousand there, he was there and went on a quest to reclaim the staff of law, then came back and fought against the Illearth Stone, and finally, beat Lord Foul on the third time there. One the second trip, the staff was broken, by the daughter he sired on the first trip. Time moves fast there, so she grew up and was about forty in the month between his two initial trips. She was a fruitcake, thought she could shatter death and summon old heroes to life again. It got her killed and broke the staff, which lead to what we faced then. Because the law was no longer coherent, the earth power was warped into something called the Sunbane. It wreaked havoc on the Land and everything important was forgotten except by a few. Covenant wanted to fix it again- just to give you an example- on his first trip there, his leprosy was healed as long as he was in the Land. This time, there was no healing, except for what his ring could do. White gold was special there. It was powerful, and Lord Foul - the devil I guess, wanted it so he could shatter time and break free to ruin the universe."

X flinched on the word time. Odd.

"Covenant managed to convince Sunder and Hollian that he wasn't crazy and life was not supposed to be Hell. Then, we rescued the Haruchai, the descendants of the Bloodguard. That's a long story in and of itself. Four millennia ago, they came to the Land and wanted to prove they were the best warriors. Instead, they wound up serving the Lords, vowing perfect service until time " flinch again, " was over or until they screwed up, whichever came first. For a long time, it looked like time might end first. They didn't sleep or die. Or age. They were just ideal. And knew it- then they were corrupted by one mistake and broke their vow, going home. But they knew something was wrong, so began to return to the Land, to see what it was, and wound up being sacrificed to keep the Sunbane going. Covenant rescued them from that, and four of the rescued wanted to serve him, like their ancestors did the Lords. They are kind of hard to refuse. And considering what he wanted to do, they could be handy. He wanted to make a new staff, and to do so we had to find what the first one was made of, the One Tree.

"Which meant leaving the Land; fine with me. Covenant remembered a world that was gone. Whatever health and beauty it had once upon a dream was gone. Now with every sunrise, the spilled blood of thousands rained hell down on it. Green meant rampant growth, choking and screaming out life. Brown burnt it to a crisp. Red meant death and blue was rain, rain to make Noah intimidated. On the way out, we met some giants, really giants, not just tall folks. Honniscrave, The First, Cable Seadreamer, and Pitchwife. They were in the Land because Seadreamer had a dream that there was a peril to the world in the Land, and he was right. Covenant convinced them that it would serve their quest best to take him to the One Tree; so he, four Haruchai, the giants, Vain, and I set to sea to do that. Vain, how do I explain him? He was a creature some things called ur-Viles had made for some unknown reason, then. He was black as night, looked like- I don't know- a goblin maybe?"

My patient startled as the last phrase was spoken. Was he- did he know Vain? No, he'd not moved until I described Vain as a goblin. I couldn't make a connection, so went on. "It was a wild ride, with enough stories to fill books. First, we went to the isle where some beings lived who were like- the Greek gods might have been. " No reaction. "They were arrogant and most unhelpful, well - they did give us a map to the tree, but at a high price. They mentally tortured all of us, and locked Covenant in a silence, like what you're in. Turned out to be a good thing though. Our next stop brought us somewhere that knew of the white gold, and the head man their would have forced Covenant to willingly give it to him, and Lord only knows what he'd have done with magic like that. But in the Silence, Covenant couldn't, and taking it would kill that magic. But, when it came down to it, I - I possessed Covenant. To wake him up, and took the silence into me. It wasn't meant for me, so I wasn't totally out of it, but - two of our guards had been thrown to the sand gorgon. One died the other was hurt terribly. I killed him, - only I wasn't killing him, I was killing my mother, again. Mercy killing, again. We were escaping. They told me that I didn't kill Ceer, his injury did, same difference. The Giants didn't hate me though, and Covenant told me he loved me. That made what he did later worse. When we did make it to the One Tree, after Brinn killed or merged with or whatever he did to become the new guardian of it, he tried to use his magic, Covenant, not Brinn, to send me home, so I could escape or save his body that was still here. But I couldn't, not with his soul gone. So I came back, and we returned to the Land. Back to the sick suns, and the fighting again, to face down Foul. And we did, but .."

I broke off, not able to bear what must be said. But it must be. "We came before him, it. Covenant lay down his ring, but he didn't need it anymore, he was the power then. And - he became the arch of time's keystone, so I guess he's not dead, but he might as well be. Then, I- took the ring and merged Findail, he's the Appointed that those god- things stuck us with, and Vain into a new staff. Healed the Land, destroyed the Sunbane. And was sent home on the wave of a song, and left with the love of my life dead, a cult's worth of burn victims and his ex, insane beyond hope. And his ring in my hand. "

I fell silent, not even realizing when I began to sing the song Pitchwife made to mourn Cable SeaDreamer's death. "My heart is filled with dust and ashes in the hearth, they must be cleaned and blown away by daylight's breath, but I can not essay the task for dust to me is dear, for dust and ashes yet recall, my love was here. I know not how to say farewell when farewell alone stays for me to say or will be heard, but I can not speak out that word or let my loved one go, how can I bear these rooms are empty so? I sit among the dust and hope dust will cover me, I stir the ashes in the hearth, though cold they be, I can not bear to close the door to seal the loneliness away, while dust and ashes yet recall my love's day."

I shook my head. "I don't know why I told you this. Sorry, guy, your doctor's a whacko, I guess."

I turned to go, then he spoke, finally. "Such a pity."

I had to close the door then, tears and laughter mingling in my hiding. I poor out my soul and all he can say is such a pity?

"That I might be insane or just life in general?"

Nothing.

"Since you're chatty, do you have a name?"

That seemed to stir him a bit. "Jareth."

My blood froze. Sunder's voice called across time, singing of Lord Foul, called in his lore - a Jeroth of the seven Hells. Jareth, Jeroth. Dear Lord, please, don't let me have tried to heal Foul himself, I prayed with earnestness.

"Jeroth?" I asked tensely.

No reply. Should I kill him? But there were Earth names that could sound like that, Gareth from the King Arthur story. Jared. Maybe- his voice had gone unused for ages. Maybe. Maybe I was hearing things.

I had to be.

Brinn let my dreams alone that night. Thank heavens. Maybe I was on the right track.

A message awaited me at work the next day. Recently, a reporter had done a story on the Berenford hospital, my hospital. He'd profiled the staff, and as a public service, run a photo of Patient- Jareth, hoping someone would come forward to id him.

Someone had, and she was waiting to see me in a conference room.

The young woman seated with her back to the door turned to face me as my step fell on the tile. Unlike the Bloodguard of old, I did not have the ability to tread like a ghost. She looked nothing like I might imagine someone who was friends or family to Jareth. Dark hair was cut short and in one of those cute styles that my lank, wheaten hair could not pull off successfully. Large brown eyes matched, and she was terribly young it seemed to me, more of a qualitative trait than necessary chronological one.

"Dr. Avery?" Her words were uncertain.

"Yes?"

"I'm Sarah Williams. I - I saw the picture of your John Doe. I - I know him. I know Jareth."

Not Jeroth. Her enunciation left nothing to be desired, and it clearly was not the name of Foul's Sunbane alias.

I motioned for her to sit again as I took a seat. "You do?"

"It's a complicated story, but he looks exactly like - someone I knew and haven't seen in a while. I thought he was - dead." Her voice could have been mine on that last sentence, mine speaking of Thomas Covenant. Lorn and confused, maybe a little angry.

I believed her.

"Does he have a last name?" What might have been an idiotic query seemed natural about him.

"Never mentioned one. Can I- May I see him?" Sarah sounded a little afraid, yet wanting what she was afraid of. Speaking of such a pity, it was that that I could not contact Pitchwife. I suspected she had a tale worthy of the long winded giants.

I took her to his room, saying as I did, "I'm sorry- I can't leave you alone with him.. Security."

Sarah nodded, her disappointment obvious, but accepting. As her eyes lit on him, she asked, "Has he spoken at all?"

"He said his name and 'such a pity.' "

A ghost of a grin flickered across her face. "Just whatever you do, don't say the phrase 'piece of cake' around him. It really upsets him."

"Upset would be welcome at this point." I twirled a stray bit of hair around one finger nervously. "I've been fighting the board to keep him, they think a nursing home might be best- but I've seen those places- I'd never send anyone to one willingly."

A hundred emotions passed through Sarah's eyes, but she did not speak, and right now, I was not sure I wanted her to say anything. I watched her sit down beside Jareth.

For a long moment, she just looked at him, not sure, obviously what to say, perhaps because of me. That couldn't be helped.

Finally, she began to talk, the slight emphasis on certain words an obvious attempt to prod him into reality. "Never thought I'd see you again, your highness. Why- what happened to you? Talk about such a pity, this really is. What a pity. Did the world fall down? Is this fair by any basis of comparison?"

Silence answered her, to which she replied with a look of sheer despair. I'd seen few people look that mournful. Honniscrave came to mind. No, his despair had been mixed with madness. His brother, though, Cable Seadreamer, had looked equally sad.

Despair, despite.

Finally, I decided to risk it, and stepped out, letting the door click so that she could hear I had given her a bit of time. Cameras would still be on them, so she did not have true privacy, but I could give Sarah that much of an illusion.

BR BR

Sarah's POV

I knew when Dr. Avery left us, and was grateful. When I'd seen Jareth's picture in the paper, part of a human interest featurette, I'd been shocked to say the least. It's been eight years since the Labyrinth. Had he been like that ever since then? The article said that no one knew who he was, just gave a hospital location and a doctor's name. I had to go to him. Over time, he'd become a dream, but one that would not let me go. Seeing him again seemed fated. In my mind, he'd become someone I could either love or hate, with equal passion. Seeing his helplessness, love was winning out, though I'm not sure what form of love now.

"Jareth," I repeated softly. "Did I do this to you? What happened?" My last image of him was the world falling down around us, then I was in the hall back home. I'd tried to write off the past as a dream more than once, but if it had been that, wouldn't I have been in bed, not the hall?

"My victory wasn't worth it, you know. Talk about unfair. I gave up my dreams, and Toby's turned into a spoiled brat. Worse than any goblin could be. Karen left dad a while back. I think maybe my parents might get back together… oh my word.. I had always dreamed of that, until he married the wicked witch. Did you fix that for me?" He did not answer.

"Damn you, Jareth. Just say something, even if it's mean and hateful. I know ruling those creatures must be a drag, but is this better?"

Silence. I hated silence.

Feeling silly, I pulled a teddy bear out of my purse. Poor Lancelot had taken abuse over the years, and recently as he'd been poked and x rayed before being allowed inside the hospital. "I - maybe - he's kind of responsible for our meeting. " I placed it on the bedside table, not daring to actually put such a ridiculous thing in bed with Jareth, the Goblin King, even in this state.

"My will seems to be stronger than yours now, or maybe not. Maybe it takes lots of will to hide in yourself like that. My kingdom isn't much either. If I say that you do have power over me, will that - is that what it takes to wake you?" I studied him, hoping for a response. "You have power over me. It's hard to fear you at the moment, you know. Not as hard to love you, looks like you might have a full staff of slaves. But I'll do as you say, until you tick me off, if you'll wake up- though you promised to be my slave. If I'm doing what you say, and you're my slave, that seems kind of like a double negative. Just wake up, okay? We can settle the details later. But not until you do that."

I moved a kiss from my lips to finger, then to his cheek. I'd never really touched him before- or had the dream been not a dream?

"If I can, I'll come back," I promised, not wanting to take too much advantage of the doctor. "I need you, Jareth. All of you.''

Maybe there was a slight reaction, somewhere in his staring eyes. Or was it wishful thinking?

Dr. Avery was waiting for me. "I don't know if I reached him at all, but if I may, I'd like to visit him more."

She nodded. "I think that'd be a good idea. Someone giving a damn has to be of some use. Does he have family or anyone?"

I honestly didn't know. Even if he did, goblins?

"When I knew him last, he was rather alone."

Dr. Avery looked discouraged. "Not sure how long I can keep the bureau- rats at bay. If it comes down to it, can you take responsibility for him?" Even as she said it, under her pensive, frustrated look was one of dread. Did she fear me, him, or something else?

Saying no made sense. Until today, Jareth was a memory of a dream. Nothing more.

It's a crystal, nothing more, but if you turn it this way, it will show you your dreams.

Had he reached into my mind to draw out that memory or was it me?

He was nothing to me, I owed him nothing.

Or everything.

"I don't know," was all I could honestly answer.

A shriek ripped through the air, followed by Dr. Avery breathing out the word, "Joan."

Compelled, I followed her when she hurried away; in the crisis, I went unnoticed as I came after her into a room with a middle aged woman, perhaps ten years or more older than Dr. Avery. She was tied to the bed, but had managed to get free enough to pound on her own head until it bled from the temple.

Sobs wracked her silently. Dr Avery fought to rebind her, to stop the pummeling. "Mrs. Covenant, Joan! Stop. You can't do this to yourself," she pled.

A nurse pushed past me, too concerned about Joan Covenant to pay attention to one unauthorized woman. Reaching the bed, she jammed a needle into Joan. Nothing happened.

"That was enough to knock out an elephant," the nurse protested.

"Then get enough to knock out a herd- she's got to be calmed down," Dr. Avery snapped.

Where was Jareth's magic peach when it was needed?

A trail of blood snaked down Joan's temple, until a drop reached her lips. As soon as she tasted it, she calmed down.

I felt ill. Maybe the meds just kicked in, I hoped.

"Miss Williams?" Dr. Avery noticed me. "You'll have to go, you shouldn't have seen this," she was telling me, leading me out of the room.

"I'm sorry, I - just found myself following you, " I apologized; it sounded weak.

"No harm done, really, but " she sighed. "She's just recently gotten like this."

An orderly rushed over before she could go on with the thought. "X 's vitals are dropping."

X?

The answer came when Dr. Avery lead the way back to Jareth's room.

"Started about the time Ms. C freaked," the orderly told her.

Then, Jareth shocked us all by uttering one word. "Time." Tension rippled through him, then he relaxed.

"Is he?"

"He's stabilized," Dr. Avery sighed. Her eyes were troubled, but if it was about Jareth, Joan, or the fact that any number of protocols were shattering was anyone's guess.

"Did he have a thing for time?" she asked, sounding rhetorical.

"Yeah. He did, does, " I replied.

Dr. Avery shook her head. "At first, I thought maybe a head trauma did this- his eyes' condition can be caused by that. Maybe it's a psychological regression that he's beginning to come out of. " Abnormal frustration crossed her face. "If only.."

Linden's POV

Until the puzzled look crossed Sarah William's face, I hadn't realized what I was saying. Had I gone on it would have been "if only my health sense was still active. " How often had I wished that!

Instead, I just said, too brusquely perhaps, "You should go. I'll arrange for you to be admitted to see Mr. - Jareth any time- but right now, you should go. "

A brief flare of defiance preceded her reluctant acquiescence, leaving me alone with my patients to ponder if there was a connection between Jareth, Joan, and Foul.

I went over everything Covenant had told me about the Land, about his first trips there. Lena. Atiaran. Triock. Foamfollower. The Bloodguard and the Lords. Elena. The Giants' genocide. The Illearth stone. Berek Halfhand. Kevin Landwaster. Andelain, the Wraiths. Hile Troy.

Our trip there. Sunder. Hollian. The Search.

No one in the Land looked like Jareth. Flamboyance was not part of who they were in any of the eras. What made Foul strong? Blood? No. It wasn't that. The blood that fed the Clave's banefire wasn't the true power.

Horror. Despite. Despair.

Foul fed off of human despair, or non human. The Giants were virtually immune to him because their joy was as huge as they were. The Bloodguard were because they were so blasted emotionless.

For the first time since the catatonic man entered Berenford Hospital, I had an idea of why he was harmed. Just not exactly or how, or much else.

I was going to need Sarah Williams' help to help him.

Somehow, that seemed like a simple thing.

Sarah POV

The phone was ringing when I reached my hotel room. Dr. Avery's voice on the other end surprised me, though it shouldn't have. Who else would call me in an unfamiliar town?

A visitor's pass had been assigned to me- I was now listed as Jareth's family and entitled to see him whenever. I wondered how aware he was- and what he would think of this.

Then she asked a strange thing. "Does he have any reason that you know of to be in --- despair?"

Well, frankly, living among a horde of goblins seemed like a good reason. It just did not seem like a thing to say. That last song- that had seemed so very - mournful, was that despair?

Live without the sunlight. Love without your heartbeat. I - I can't live within you.

"Miss Williams?"

I'd drifted into the land of memory. "Sorry. Just - thinking. Maybe, " I admitted, though saying more might get me an adjoining room to Jareth. "I- I'd rather not talk about it - on the phone."

"Can you stop by tomorrow?"

Nothing was stopping me from saying yes, so I agreed.

I looked over at the hotel mirror. I hadn't tried to contact Hoggle or anyone there in a long time, for me. Someone said in my dreams that forever was not long, so perhaps it had been only a moment for them. Maybe I was just trying to abnegate my guilt.

Linden View

Nothing was left today but to go home after one last check on my two star patients. Was it mere hope that made me wonder if Jareth looked a bit less lost?

My son, adopted after my return from the Land, was still away at a special camp for autistic children. Jeremiah might not be technically autistic, but he did need the kind of help they provided. So, neither he nor his nurse was at home waiting for me. No one saw when pulled the chain around my neck free enough to stare at the ring hanging innocently there. Covenant's white gold band, the one that had made him the ultimate hero and fugitive of the Land. None heard me ask, "Am I on the right track, Covenant? Can you hear me?" Mhorham had once told him, 'you are the white gold?' Did that mean he was somehow in this ring? That was nuts.

Then, again, so was the idea that I could be whisked to another world where Giants walked, sand gorgons came at the call of their name to kill whoever said it, a Tree sprouted from a worm that slept forming an island, and to rouse it would end the world. Men could vow to not sleep or die and keep that vow for an eon.

In the dark, I pondered fate, and life, my lost love. Everything and nothing. Yet, somehow, I kept circling back to Joan, to Sarah and Jareth, somehow their names were not inextricably linked. To that blasted Brinn, demanding more than I could give.

The chill from the Bhrathair's prison, dark and dank swept over me. It had been there I'd violated every oath, taken control of my beloved's mind, ultimately to set him free. I remembered plunging past the dark places in his mind until reaching a sunlit meadow, I'd brought him back to himself. To me. I had no health sense. No argent power, and to help, I'd need both. The power to be able to do SOMETHING. The sense to use it wisely and rightly. Nor did I have the courage to do that again. There was no love that would shield me from any horrors in his mind and memories. The fact of my love for Covenant had saved me from hatred and being appalled by his most secret darkness. Being in love wasn't an option here.

What would Thomas Covenant do?

My first look at him had gotten the door slammed in my face. He'd fought me every step of the way. Once we arrived in the Land, reached Mithil Stonedown, he'd been different. Gone was the bitterness, the silent scream of Leper- Outcast - Unclean. He'd been determined and focused. If someone seemed true , they had his trust.

If the years had been sufficient to allow the Despiser to regain strength, I'd need someone to trust.

Fate seemed to have placed Sarah Williams in that position. And Jareth. Mustn't forget him.

Thinking about the man with mismatched eyes and an arrogance that transcended catatonia gave me hope that Miss Williams would not think I was insane.

Across the years, a comforting echo resounded, Pitchwife still soothed my nerves, though years, even millennia might separate us. "Have I not said she is indeed well chosen?"

Her- or me? Did it matter?

Can I trust her? I asked the silence. Damn Brinn anyway. Of all the ghosts to haunt me- why him?

Then again, the Unbeliever didn't need to appear to haunt her thoughts and dreams.

Oh beloved.

I found Sarah at Jareth's side early the next day, humming a soft song. Pretty, in a way, it reminded me of Pitchwife's songs. The sweeter ones anyway, not Thelma and Bahgoon.

Watching them, I silently sighed. Once, I might have looked at Thomas Covenant like that . Even if this had nothing to do with the Land, and really, why did I think there was except for what might only be a dream, these two deserved the chance we never had.

"Miss Williams?"

"Oh! Call me Sarah, please. "

"I'm Linden. "

When Sarah began to get up, I motioned for her to keep her seat. "No, this is fine. Best place for it actually- and Jareth's health is good, so I don't need to check on him. " Taking a seat on the other side of the bed, I asked, "How do you feel about- other worlds?"

"Like Mars or Venus?" Sarah looked puzzled, but not as much as I expected her to.

"Not really. Places you can't get to with ships or cars or rockets."

"There's a reason you ask, isn't there?"

"Yes- I think Jareth is from one- and this is something you are aware of." There, it was said. "None of his medical readings are too radically different- but something about him just - he's not from this place, that's obvious if you can SEE."

Sarah hesitated. "Yeah, he is," she said finally. "It's called the Underground, so maybe it's not really another one, but part of this one. Close enough. "

"Not- not the Land?"

Sarah shook her head. "I- seem to remember hearing it called- the land serene, but the way you said The Land it-it's not the same word- land that is, even though they sound the same."

Perhaps health sense did exist here- it would take something akin to my percipience to hear the subtle but vast distinction in the two words.

"That's the name of a continent on another world- but if you asked me to take you outside and point out their star- I couldn't. Even if I was an astronomer."

"Not that the stars are readily visible anymore," Sarah noted, somewhat sadly.

"True. "

Her question was expected, but it still went under my guard. "Did he- how do you know about that kind of thing?"

Sparing Jareth a glance, I apologized for subjecting him to a repeat then glossed over Covenant's story. "The boy I adopted- I read to him sometimes, don't know how much of it he 'gets', but I read him the Narnia books. There's a line in there about- I can't recall how Lewis phrased it exactly- but there's something about people who've been touched by wonder that others can see- it's all over Jareth, once you start looking for it. It's in your eyes too." I felt ridiculous until she nodded.

"Yeah. My story-it's not as noble. Not by a long shot." Her shoulders sagged. "If your version is different, your majesty, let me know. When I was sixteen, I got stuck babysitting my bratty brother one too many times, and he took one too many gifts from me. I lost it and - I'd been reading about a princess who wished the goblins would rescue her from a life of tyranny inflicted by her steps. So, I - pretended to be her and asked for the goblins to take him - they did, even though I didn't think it was real. He gave me 13 hours to rescue my brother, and spent those hours making it hard as possible. Not just with danger, though there was some. He offered me my dreams, and he became my dreams. I - have no excuse, except I didn't understand, I was scared and foolish. But I won. The last time I saw him before the picture in the paper, his world was falling down around me, then I was home."

I nodded to myself. "Was he upset?"

Sarah's eyes took on a haunted look. "Yeah. He did. His music was even sad…"

"Music?" I was lost on that one.

"When I was in his world - there was music everywhere. I heard it when I was running - looking for a way to go- and it was happy, rock kind of music. Then, I had a dream, and he sang to me. It was a good sad- but when I- at the end, it wasn't a good sad. Just sad. And angry. " She made a face, as if there was more, but left it at that.

I sighed. "Yeah, Foul could use all that." I recalled Covenant's voice telling me how Triock's jealous rage opened him to being used by the Raver- the Haruchai warped by the Illearth stone, Kevin driven to destroy what he loved to kill the unkillable. Fear gripped my heart. "Did- did Jareth ever have a white gold anything?"

Sarah frowned. "He wore a necklace, but I don't know what it was made of. The only jewelry I saw was Hoggle's plastic jewels. "

"Hoggle?"

"A dwarf who helped me- after I bribed him with a dime store bracelet. What does white gold matter?"

"It has power in Foul's world. White gold that goes beyond the limits of the Law. Covenant- his wedding ring was- is white gold. It got him chosen to be the new champion, Berek Halfhand reborn. " My voice tightened. "And made him the target of every bit of evil Foul could raise against him. It- forms the arch of time."

Sarah seemed to be wrestling with what to say first, settling on, "Why can't he just use someone here to go into a jewelry shop and buy some - or get something off QHS- that shopping channel. "

"I don't know. Let's hope he never thinks of it."

"Time- you mentioned the arch of time," Sarah's words were hesitant.

"It keeps Foul from running loose on the universe."

"Jareth -" her voice took on the same tightness that I could hear in mine when I spoke of Thomas Covenant. "He reordered time- for me. "

"I guess, that's why Foul wants him- not because of you- but because of what he can do." My head swum with possibilities. What the hell did that bastard want? If he broke Jareth- seized his power as he had wanted to seize the white ring that hung dormant around my neck, what would he be able to do- jump back in time? To where? To when Berek defeated him or undo the Ritual of Desecration that was Kevin's desperate gamble? Would he turn the ages back to when Covenant and the giant laughed him to a semi death? No, the Sunbane had been too much of a despair high for the SOB. Turning the Land into a living hell was his best move in the worst way. Unless he could institute it sooner? I felt like the worm of World's end was shifting beneath my feet, threatening to rend life from one end to the other again. Killing Seadreamer again.

Distantly, a voice asked, "What does reordering time mean?" It was my voice.

"I don't know, exactly," Sarah confessed. "He didn't explain. It was at the end, when - after he sang again, saying that he moved the stars for no one, and had done everything for me. I asked that the child be taken, and he was. I cowered, and Jareth was frightening. He reordered time, and turned the world upside down, for me. Isn't that generous? If I would just fear him, love him and do as he said, he'd be my slave."

Raking a hand through my hair, I sighed. "If he was on life support, I'd disconnect it over a speech like that." The words almost choked me as they were said, raising with their utterance shades too grim to bear. My mother. Ceer. In memory, my arm throbbed where Cail had nearly broken it to stop me from murdering again.

"Well, Jareth had his own perspective," Sarah shrugged.

"But that tells me nothing," I said like a curse. "Nothing about what Foul might do. " Joan - somehow she was tied to this. I had given her wedding band, the match to the one Covenant gave me, back to soothe her wildness. But - surely he couldn't. Couldn't what? Flotsam and Jetsam information danced in my head. Joan. Argent fire. Jareth. The silence. Catatonia. 'Ringwielder, did we not save preserve your soul?' Reaching into Covenant's mind. Sunder breaking the Law of Life. Kevin's fervent despair. Thomas Covenant's voice telling me what his long dead friend had said, 'It boots nothing to avoid his- Foul's snares, for they are ever beset with other snares.' Vain and Findail merging into one being. Could Joan and Jareth do the same- and give Foul the wild magic and the ability to change time?

"We've got to either save him or kill him," I mused, not aware of speaking until Sarah's shocked gasp startled me out of my mazelike thoughts.

"You are not going to kill him!" she said.

"Better him than plunge the entire earth into Foul's hand." My words were cold, clinical, and brought to mind the implacable faces of Chant and Daphine. No, I was not like them.

"No," Sarah's tone was unshakable. "Killing him would only make you a murderer. "

Beset with other snares. I hear you, Mhorham. Maybe killing would stop Jareth from becoming Foul's instrument, but it would only plunge me into guilt, and make a chink in my heart, vulnerable to Foul.

And I was the White Gold Wielder now.

"We have to wake him up," she insisted. "It's the only way."

"How?" I folded my arms over my chest. "There's no medical reason for him to be catatonic. No medical way to do it- what do you suggest? Kissing him? " I glanced at him, "Weird looking sleeping beauty." He really was the strangest looking guy I've ever seen. I'd debated cutting his hair before, but it seemed wrong.

One thing was sure- it would be above and beyond the call of duty to ask ME to kiss him, though in the austere lines of his face, I could see something that was not unlike Covenant. But too much so to break my resolve.

"I doubt it would be something so simple," she said, "and it's supposed to be true love's kiss that does it. " A moue puckered her face. "Kind of doubt he'd consider me that."

Well, I'd never been a fairy tale lover, so I'd have to take her word.

"How did you wake - Covenant ?" she was asking.

"Nothing that would work here," I sighed. "I can't - " won't " possess him. Not in this world. " Or any other. It was too evil, even to do something good. And -

I couldn't risk that happening to me, of the silence rebounding to take me over. I'd almost killed when that happened before- and Cail was not here to stop me.

"It's just a ring, here," I went on. Just the thing I prized most, my last link to him.

Her eyebrows tacitly stated her doubt of that it was a mere token, but did not challenge its lack of puissance. A frown passed over her face. "Live without sunlight, love without your heartbeat, I can't live within you…maybe he's living within himself…but .." she left off, obviously not knowing what came next.

"Is there anyone we can contact in the- the Underground that might know?" I asked. That would be too simple, but it was worth asking.

"I don't know.." she shook her head. "I- it's been ages since I could talk to anyone there."

Had Foul taken over another world, given up on the Land? Good for Sunder and his folk- but it was too awful to think of happening elsewhere.

"Can you try?" I asked.

Sarah rose without answering, walking to the mirror. Not a good time to primp, but I reigned in my impatience.

"Hoggle, I need you, all of you," she whispered, sounding lost and alone. "He needs you."

A shimmer rippled the glass. "Sorry - Missy. Only him can open the way," a cockney voice distantly said.

"Oh. I didn't. Thank you." She turned away as the would be portal normalized.

Careful to keep my voice professional, normal, I asked what had happened.

"I- called my friends in the Underground. They came before. I - I always assumed that it was - that they snuck around Jareth to do so. I- it never occurred that they might have visited with his permission. That without him, they could not come to me."

"So, " still my words were selected with tact, "he must not hate you. Otherwise, why let them?" Oh, I could think of reasons, mind games that masqueraded as kind to later turn twice as cruel for the kindness, but it would not do to say so now.

Sarah grimaced. "It's not fair," she winced at the words. "Didn't mean to say that. I- had a terrible row with my 'family'- let's just say they aren't exactly family anymore. Legally disowned. In the back of my head, I considered wishing myself back to the Underground. If only to get a good hug, Ludo maybe big and scary, to look at, but he hugs good. "

Wouldn't know, no one really hugged me before, but I did not want to admit that.

"I - wanted to see him too," the last words were said so softly that they might not have existed. "Now I do - and he's.. "

"The only way to hurt a man-or woman who's lost everything is to give them back something broken," I quoted in the same tone.

"Yeah. I thought I'd hurt as much as I could, until now." Quiet pain, unexpected and deep swept over her face. "Once I had magic words that could turn a world upside down- now -" She broke off. "Do you have a chapel or something here? I- praying is all I know to do. "

Once I'd have mocked her for that. Back before I knew evil existed, or before I admitted it. Since returning from other worlds, I had had no choice in the matter, and the bitter irony of that phrase was not lost on me. Kevin, long dead, but still very forceful had denied that I had a choice but to listen and obey. I had studied evil since then, wanting to know what is was Covenant laid down his existence to defeat or suppress. In seeing the darkness, I craved light, so now I could pray without emptiness.

"It will do some good," I said, the words inadequate. "I -it might even be more efficient here than in a chapel, but we do have one. But it might make a difference to him to hear that you…" I trailed off, feeling like I was diminishing what I sought to say by putting words to it.

"Even though I -"

"What?" though I felt morbid in asking, I prompted.

"Maybe - maybe this is how I left him after .."

"No- you say your friend visited you after- but can't now- so whatever did this to him- it's not you."

"Logically, yeah, I get that. It's one of those visceral things- that " her lips turned to a bitter smile, "makes no sense at all."

I could have made her feel better, shown that I could empathize- it was akin to my feeling that I'd killed my father- though it had been his own hand that did it. Yet, still I was haunted by his words- you never loved me, though the victim was me- the child locked in an attic as the witness to his self murder.

But I didn't. Some things are not shareable unless-- Only Covenant knew the truth that haunted me- that was his right alone.

Still, I let my eyes try to give her some sign that I did understand on a level of some kind. Maybe she apprehended the expression, maybe not. What I could do I did. I left her alone with him.

Medical solutions had been exhausted. All that was left was prayer- or trying to break his arm, as I had once snapped Brinn and Cail out of the mer wive's enchantments. Then, the security guards could haul me away for abusing a patient who , even comatose, tried my patience.

Sarah

"You whispered in my dreams that the truth hurts like Hell, Jareth. How right you were- was that a warning, a promise, or omen? I know how you hate it when I say this, but it's really not fair. Dad - or should I say Robert Williams, since he refuses to acknowledge me anymore, tossed me out. He's a control freak. Only Karen is more so- marrying her put him under HER thumb- and so - he wanted to run my life instead , since he couldn't run his anymore. She wasn't obvious about it, no. But still she did. And hated me, because I look like my late mother. A living reminder of the woman who took his heart to the grave. She wanted me out, he wanted to control me, and I didn't want to be controlled, so - a minor fight was the last straw. I looked for you then, the world was upside down, and you said you'd be there for me.

"-- And no, you weren't. You offered me anything I want- but I guess that deal fell through too? I want you to wake up, even if it means you're sarcastic and mock me. I don't know if I love you. I don't KNOW you. But - look - wake up and they say love is a choice. I feel like the right thing to do, for me, is to choose to love you. Maybe. So, if you'll do that for me, I'll do my best to love you. But- don't freak if - if I can't. Okay?"

Jareth just remained as he was, mocking me with silent apathy.

I looked to the ceiling. I'd promised to pray for him, or was it for me? "Hey- God? This may be arrogant of me, but - well, would you mind helping him out? If I did this - I'm sorry. I- don't think you like us taking revenge on each other- so - him lying there is great vengeance- if for no other reason than to end that , let him wake up. Or- whatever reason, just - just I want - I wish he'd wake up. Right now."

Silence answered me, or my ears were deaf to the response as seconds became eternal. Until I felt a slight movement, the awareness that I had taken his hand in mine was not part of my reality. Then, his majesty's hand tensed in mine, moved restlessly, freezing me as effectively as if he'd cast a spell.

Life began to return to Jareth as I watched, though my brain barely comprehended. Distantly, I knew I should call Linden, but amazement held me in stasis. It must have made me hallucinate as well, because out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw that she had returned to the room, at first. Then, I knew it wasn't here, but a man, limned in silvery white. Though I dared not look at him fully, my perception of him was as if looking in a not peripheral fashion. His smile was sad and brave, eyes full of portents and strictures. Desire to see who had joined us turned my head, but he was gone.

Yet, I felt a voice that could only belong to the phantom. Be true, there is love. The soul in which the flower lives does not die.

Before the questions about what the words meant could form, Jareth again compelled my attention.

By this time, lassitude was shaken from him, and those mismatched eyes burned into mine. "You."

"You too."

He looked down at the iron grip he had on my hand, but did not remove it. "An explanation might be kind of you." To listen, you'd never know his voice had been quiescent for months.

"I should call the doctor, " I protested, then thought - maybe they don't have doctors Underground, and amended, "the healer."

"I know what a physician is, little girl. The last thing I recall is flying from the castle to - to…" he trailed off, whether in an amnesiac moment or not wishing to admit weakness was not apparent.

"Get away from--" Sarah fished, "Lord Foul?"

"I had to lead him away from the Underground- it was my power he wanted, not to do anything to my people." He did not state this defensively, nor arrogantly, but simply as what had to be done.

"So- is - where is he now? Linden told me about him- it- and he scares me."

"I heard her description, though I could not comment. I do not frighten readily- but he came very close. Until then, I had often hoped for a new experience- suffice it to say I should have been a bit more specific." His eyes matched one another in pensiveness. "So all along that has been my adversary- if I was to be granted a wish, it would be that I had fought him harder before."

"I don't understand."

"Did you imagine I took children on a whim?" Jareth's tone challenged and mocked me.

"I never thought about…"

"Precisely. " His words slapped me. "My kingdom is comprised of the lost and lonely, who wished for escape or whose taking allowed another to escape. Their peace came with a price- my own pain. Yes, Sarah, the mighty goblin king," he threw that name in my face, "can be hurt. Lives in hurt. I take the children, and others, and take the pain that caused them to be taken as well. The technical term for me would be an empath. "

"Why? Why do you do it?"

"Fair question. " Her blush mildly amused him. "I -it may surprise you to know- am a bit of a renegade among my people. Perhaps it comes of being born human. " He noted her curious look, but did not expand on the comment. "In any case, even though I'm my father's eldest son, as an adoptee, my rights are somewhat less, and I frankly found that unfair. So, I demanded my rights- a kingdom of my own, and my past sympathies for my own people and other less regarded beings earned me the 'right' to rule them in my own kingdom, from the castle beyond the goblin city. Knowing that your world needs on some level what the world alongside it has, my realm was deemed the one to be the portal between worlds, and to be a buffer between the higher realms and - yours. In the beginning of my reign, it was sparsely populated, so I was granted the right to claim all whom you know that I claim as citizens. The Labyrinth is usually a test of who is allowed to stay. If someone can cross through it and earn my regard, then they have the right to stay- only you have turned it to the purpose of an exit test. But, only those who desire an escape or who are not wanted find their way to the door to my world. The impetus is heartache, as ruler, it is my duty to ease that pain."

"You pull it out of them?"

"No- but my talent lets me feel it- didn't someone say that shared pain cuts it in half?"

So that what "exhausted from living up to your expectations" meant came the guilt ridden thought.

Jareth nodded as if hearing my mind. "You had so much agony in your soul. Of all the deadly sins, jealousy and envy have not even a seed of pleasure to them. Only hurt. Seeing someone you ---would turn the world upside down for lost in such -- you can not imagine that grief. "

"I don't really get it," I reluctantly confessed, "not why you did what you did- the way you did it- or why you are here now."

"Your language does not have the words to fully explain it. Suffice it to say that I did what you asked of me- why should not require statement. Why I came here- the darkness hears our most lorn cries and uses what is said. When I said, I have reordered time for you- those words were a scream to ears not meant to hear them, that wanted to reorder time."

"So this Lord Foul wants to change time?"

Jareth nodded. "Even though it is not possible."

"But you-"

"Changed the perception of time for a space of it. That can be done- is done every time you dream. But what did I say when we first met?"

"I've brought you a gift?" I expected the head shake of denial.

"Think back, after that."

"Don't- no- what's said is said."

"No words, idle or not, can be undone by turning the clock back. Never have I comprehended WHY people get so enamored of time travel stories. It's not possible. If you went back in time to undo something, then, what you went back to undo would not prompt you who is to be to go back so you wouldn't go back and the undoing would not be undone and so on."

"Then why --"

"If I can't undo something does he want to use me? If I could truly comprehend that I'd be evil enough to be his accomplice. He must think it is possible or at least see the potential for chaos in a superficial meaning of those words - or be arrogant enough to believe that he could use my power in ways that I can not."

"He doesn't want to change time at all," a voice sighed. "He wants to break it into pieces and escape to try and kill the Creator."

"God can't be killed," Jareth shook his head. "Dr. Avery, my thanks."

Linden blinked, as if just now the fact that her patient was aware had registered. "Doing my job," she shrugged it off. "How long's he been awake?"

"Not long," I said just as Jareth chimed in,

"He's awake and can answer. "

I tried not to envy her as she pressed a stethoscope to his chest and checked his pulse with her fingers. "It's not normal, " she commented, "but, why should it be? You really are the Goblin King- for that matter ,there really are goblins?"

"Yes," he drawled. "Though they are nothing like this Vain you spoke of or - ur viles and Wanyhim."

She stood back. "Okay- so why did you finally wake up?" she demanded tersely, almost irritably.

Jareth looked at me, amusement hidden in his eyes. "Sarah, I do believe Dr. Avery is not pleased with my return to wakefulness."

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped. "I'd just like to know WHY after so much time- and I can't see any reason for it- so it must have been your decision."

"Astute," he granted. "I was in a healing trance, much like a coma, but not. Of course, you could not tell the distinction between the two."

"No, I'm just a doctor." Yet, her acerbity was lost on him obviously as he nodded in regal acknowledgement of that fact.

"It was time to wake," he said simply. "I heard something, some One- tell me so. "

"Sarah?" Linden asked.

"I did hear her voice," he said thoughtfully, "but no, hers was not that voice. It did help, though, I think." Though I suspected the latter words were for my benefit only, I was appreciative.

"That voice," he went on, sharply, "whispered 'heal her.' Any idea what that means, ladies?"

I did not, other than the superficial meaning, but Doctor Avery drew in her breath as if slapped. However, she did not clarify his words.

Irritation clouded her face. "Well, whatever. Look, if you'll let me take time to make sure my son is seen to, I'll be ready to go to the Land- I'm not sure how to initiate…"

Jareth cut her off with a weak, albeit authoritative movement. "I have no intention of going to this Land."

"What? But obviously something is going on there," she protested.

Jareth sighed. Under that sigh I could almost hear him saying, ''such a pity."

"Oh, yes, you see the simple answer- but honestly, I would have expected better of you, doctor. I heard every word of your long, sad tale. Isn't pursuit of the obvious the thing that caused the most hurt in that saga?" He paused, but not long enough for her to answer. "It still would. Think, my powers would risk breaking that arch of time, possibly killing whatever is left of your Covenant, certainly setting this Gray Slayer free. The logical answer will be for me to return to the Underground."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Linden remarked sardonically, "You were so safe from him there."

Quirking one brow at her, he looked briefly at me, searching my soul in a half glance. "If the situation warrants, I will place wards that seal the Underground, no one will enter or leave ever again."

A knife slashed across my heart. If that was the necessary evil, I'd live with it.

"Yet, there is another way, of no concern to you, that will heal the rent in my world's fabric that allowed this atrocity to take place. Once it is healed, Foul can't gain a foothold."

Retaining her skeptical look, Linden pointed out adroitly, "Yes, but isn't he already there?"

"I doubt he stayed," Jareth returned. "It is the time gift I have that he wanted, so he had no reason to stay once I left. " His mismatched gaze returned to me, "When you spoke with Hoggish, did he seem in distress or was the way merely blocked?"

"It was hard to tell," I admitted. "But I got the impression that he just couldn't speak to me well because you weren't there- and thanks- I- I had no idea how much you did for me."

Whether I spoke of now or then was up to him, I meant both.

Without arrogance, Jareth affirmed, "If I return to the Underground, order will be restored. There is a paucity of metals of any sort there, so I see little of value to Lord Foul in my land besides. " He paused, "I would, though, prefer to regain a bit more strength. Even for a healing trance, this episode was of unusual length. Perhaps not, time has less meaning to my world. When I have my feet under me again, I would like to see Joan - it will prove the truth of my theory."

"I don't suppose you're kin to those damned Haruchai," she sighed bitterly.

"Doubtful," his tone was dry, but the spark of anger was familiar in his eyes, the words piece of cake were usually a precedent to that particular expression.

"And how long before you feel able to do this, your Highness?'' she asked with misplaced bitterness.

"Soon. I wish to speak with Sarah alone a bit further, first. " He paused again, considering his words. "I am sorry, doctor, returning Thomas Covenant is out of my ken and power. If it were possible, I would do it, but it would cost all he gained. Yet, such love is never unrewarded, though the gift is often one that is difficult to perceive until one is ready to receive it. "

Both of us focused astonished eyes on him as the double edge of his words lashed us equally.

Linden's mouth thinned. "Just send for me when you're ready- but not an owl. This isn't Hogwarts school of Wizardry, use something normal. "

When she was gone, Jareth chuckled. "I'd hardly expect Hogwart to be able to teach anyone anything about Wizardry, gardening, yes. Higher sciences, no."

After a moment, I asked what he needed to talk to me about.

"The healing process, my choice, Sarah. "

I was afraid of that.

"You broke every convention and rule, you did turn the world upside down- and when you left, you left wounds in places that had never been hurt before."

I tried to look away, but he refused me that grace. "To keep the Underground safe from the one who trades on despair and other lesser emotions, the Underground must either be sealed off, and even that is a rather uncertain cure, or healed. You alone have the ability to settle which way it will be."

"I'm not good at riddles, most of the time," I evaded.

"Oh?" With effort, he pulled a crystal from somewhere. I could see Alf and Ralf in it. "I wonder what they would say?"

"Just speak plainly, " I begged, not wanting to misinterpret his cryptic words.

"Very well. When the king of the goblins fell in love with the girl, he had reasonable hope that she felt the same, and when it seemed he was wrong, the loss and the shock of being wrong were rather devastating, allowing unspeakable evil to drive him from his home. Though not wishing to pressure her, the truth would be appreciated- was he wrong or --?"

"Or she was too young to know," I replied, speaking in third person as he did. "She might appreciate a second chance as much as he did the truth."

"Not a second chance to wreck havoc, one would hope?"

"Depends on what your basis for havoc is," I responded as lightly as possible, but a traitorous quiver shook my voice. "There's good havoc and bad havoc."

"Of which variety do you propose?"

Word games were exhausting me, but in a strange way, that was fair, and wasn't that what I claimed to want? "Jareth, I don't know you well enough to say I love you for sure," I confessed bluntly. "But, learning how is something I would not be averse to doing."

"Even to the point of leaving this world, forever? To becoming one of us- forever?"

"There's not much for me in this world. The price of being loved by some people is very high," I did not hide the bitterness in my tone. "Just - don't try to control me."

"It is in a king's nature to give orders," he warned, "but - a queen has the leeway to negotiate them."

I accepted this. "Is it so terrible to be one of you?"

"Yes," his words were as sharp and blunt as mine, "when one is alone. That would not, however, be a concern in your case."

"And it is the best solution?" I asked, then added, lest he think I was merely resigned to be a sacrificial dove, "not just what is preferable to you or I?"

"My perspective is rather biased," he warned.

"What is the king's view?" sudden inspiration prompted me to ask.

"That this is the wisest choice. " He paused. "Have you a mirror?"

"There's one on the wall," I moved slightly so that he could see it.

"The attire I have been left is rather- undignified," his majesty admitted ruefully.

Enough said. I'd not taken hospital gowns into consideration. "If you have to stay much longer, I'll bring you something less undignified," I promised as I handed him a mirror from my purse.

Without thanks, he accepted it, saying, "Hoggle," as he did so.

In a moment, my friend's face appeared. "Yer majesty!" he squawked. "It's good to see you- we been worried, sir."

"Have you? What is the state of things there?" he asked.

"Them goblins' is running amok," Hoggle snorted. "Sir Didymus left off guarding the Bog so he could help me try to keep 'em from ruining the castle. Fraid the fairies might've destroyed the gardens wilst I've been away from them. "

"No shadows are there?" Jareth asked, and it seemed I could hear a note of worry.

"Shadows?" Clearly, the dwarf was confused.

"Unnatural storms? Ill sunrises? Strange deaths?"

"Nope. Just nutty goblins and biting fairies - to be expected, you know, without someone that can to keep them in line. Been nice if you'd have set some kind of obedience spell or something so they'd act right."

Jareth made a wry face. "Hedgehog, I did what was expedient at the time, but do try and repair the worse damage, I will be returning from my mission to this world soon."

"Er- did you - what I mean to say is.." Hoggle was not sure, plainly, what he could say safely.

"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered," Jareth said with severity that could not be taken at actual face value, "I've accomplished much more than I dared hope."

That enigmatic answer would have to suffice, for he snapped my compact shut then, informing me adroitly, "There is no such thing as an obedience spell. He does not know that though. I do feel confident that this Lord Foul the Despiser is not lurking in my lands from what he said. " His look became pensive. "Perhaps the lack of necessary structure to the Underground's system of order is something that baffles his power to undo."

"You are very good at making statements like that, that say a lot but hide the meaning. We could stay here and you could probably be a great politician."

"Not likely. If I had to deal with the what the people of this world call politics, I would be forced to build a new wing onto the Bog."

Considering this, I shook my head. "No, a punishment has to bother the one being penalized for it to work."

His smile was a gift to me, and confirmed my decision.

Later- Linden's POV

Whether taking Jareth and Sarah to see Joan was a wise thing to do or not was debatable, at best. Seeing him awake and talking to Sarah as if nothing had happened restored hope on some visceral level to me that my personal albatross might be set free. Or at least I could be sure that her madness was not induced by Fangthane, not a clock looming over me, ticking down the hours until the Land's doom would require more of me than I had to give.

It took some sneaking to get them into Joan Covenant's room unnoticed, but that was also requisite. What I was doing was unorthodox, some might say to the point of being inappropriate.

Then again, so was eating aliantha, the treasure berries deemed poison by the Sunbane ravaged society of the Land when last I saw them, and doing so had saved my life more than once.

Jareth had protested using a wheelchair, but my will was implacable on that. He was a patient, and therefore, I had authority over him. Even if he was some sort of king.

Despite that, the moment we entered Joan's room, he was on his feet. Since arguing in front of Joan might be unwise, I bit back the arguments. If only to soothe the scowl on my face, he did allow Sarah to remain at his side, giving the light support of her hand on his.

It was from their joined hands a crystal appeared - seemingly with no cause. Without my health sense and with the wild magic dormant, I could not tell a thing about it, forcing the question of what it was from me.

Amusement flickered over the king's face, his dancing eyes making it obvious he was debating some temptation until he answered, "A tool of mine, a crystal. It shows things- dreams, if you turn it this way- truth if you look the other way," demonstrating the turns in time with his words.

I shrugged it off- that was no more strange than using a rock and knife to divine the weather for the coming days or call water from the ground with blood, and I had seen that done. My nonchalance clearly disappointed glitter boy.

Joan's slack face seemed to revive a bit as the crystal glowed before her face- and if there was truth or dreams to be seen in its translucent surface, it was also hidden from my dull vision.

Apparently, though - it sufficed for Jareth. His expression was less than pleased with what he saw. With the same tone the First had used in her angriest moments, he muttered a word I knew not. Granted, I'd heard pretty much every four letter word in my time - said a few too- but somehow, I was sure that I did not want to know what he said then.

"Your Lord Foul," he informed me tautly, "was able to learn what he needed to from me."

The blood drained from my face, doom hung in the air palpably.

Was the world about to end?

"No, he can't endanger the Arch of Time," Jareth dismissed my fears, making me wonder at the extent of his gifts or the nakedness of my emotions. "But - he does have ability now to warp time, beyond my ability to alter the perception of it. He has added maddened guilt to the knowledge, " A conflict raged across the plains of his strictly defined face. "This is something you have learned out of the proper time. Though the battle is one I must refrain from, I am not powerless to negate some of the harm inadvertently done."

"How…what…?" dumbly I asked before a veil slipped over my mind.

Sarah

Jareth made his declaration painfully, in a small way allowing this Foul person to have a measure of victory with his guilt. Yet, how could he have prevented this?

Doing what he could to atone, Jareth placed Linden in a brief fugue state- long enough to let he and I leave this world and return to his.

Our first hours were filled with bustle and business as Jareth settled things that had been left hanging while he was gone and I was settled into my new home. I did not see him again until sunset when he invited me to his sanctuary, a tower room that looked out over his realm.

"You wish a more thorough explanation?" he asked, though it really wasn't a question.

"Time does not move- people move through it, rather like a roadway. While my gifts do not allow me to actually move the road, someone with the knowledge I have, sufficient power, and ill intent could - shall we say, cause an 'earthquake in time'. It is sheer madness to want this. This Lord Foul of Linden Avery's unlocked lore that I frankly could not begin to explain because it is something only rarely do I use, and then so naturally that how it happens is something I have not thought of in much time. Perhaps, leaving here was not the best plan- but he wanted my knowledge alone, not to harass my people. Leaving was a way to defend them without risk to them. It allowed me to be injured enough for him to probe my subconscious. Combining it with Joan's madness and the power she has… if he can not defeat the time in another world, he will wreck it. Even though after all he has done, I would not mind helping his defeat, the best I can do without daring the arch myself is to shield Linden from knowing things that would send her running from what she must do. "

My head swam. He must have seen the confusion in my eyes, because he went on, "The Land that Linden spoke of has been under an interdiction because of Foul by the Fey for - well it depends on how you look at it- half a century of your time, eons of the time in the Land, a heartbeat here. People who live here acquire or are born with a special relationship to time, the air here awakens dormant areas of one's mind. Little is different in you and I- and what is- mostly, will vanish as the atmosphere becomes part of you. But, back to the issue, the wards will not allow any citizen of this world to enter the Land. Simply attempting to do so would shatter the arch. " He grimaced. "The King of the Fey, my grandfather, is known for overkill. But, what's done is done, and can not change. " He paused one more time. "Knowing all this, that your humanity will be altered, that your old life is gone, do you wish still, to stay with me?"

That question cost him a lot, though he tried to hide the price from me. I did not kiss him, though it was tempting, but did take his hand. "There is a song back home that never fails to remind me of you- you look inside my fantasies and made one come true, something no one else has ever found a way to do. I don't know if I am in love with you, because I'm not sure what that is, but if what I feel isn't love, it's better than anything I have ever known. So, yeah. You are stuck with me."

That began our happily ever after. I don't know what happened to Linden - Jareth said she had little time left in her world, though that had more implications than mere death.

I hope someday, maybe there might be a way for her to find Thomas Covenant again. Yeah, I know, that is pretty much impossible- but then again, so is falling in love with a man you dreamed of, and finding him in reality.

And I hope that if there is a way, she and he can do something far worse than anything I can think of to Lord Foul.