"You will take responsibility for this, you hear me? !"
He didn't think of leaving like his father had done.
That never crossed his mind.
Ikuto would have married Amu regardless of the baby.
He felt the bed rock and give a ear-splitting creak on an early six o'clock morning. And being that he had been so lovely forced to this kind of thing for five years in a row, it wasn't a fact to fret over and complain high and shrilly about.
But as his eyes shot open at the pummeling force being launched onto his chest, he wanted to yell and he wanted to yell loud.
"Ompfh!" Was the sound that escaped his lips as the small wiggling human like shape adjusted into a Indian cross style, right after almost breaking his ribs. Ikuto's eyelids slowly went back to a close as he then realized why exactly the little girl located on top of him had woken him up. They had made a deal around two years ago not to wake daddy until eight, which always turned to seven in her impatient childish mind. She would trounce right in here and announce her presence by jumping on him without any warning besides the creak of old springs.
The young girl huffed as she noticed his still unconscious looking form. Her breath tickled Ikuto's cheeks and he had a hard time not giving himself away with a slight smile at her frustrated state. She poked his cheek rather hard then with her little finger.
"Stop sleeping daddy!" she whispered, hushed, but still very loudly into his ear. He didn't stir.
"It's the morning, I'm seven!" she shrieked. Ikuto faked a tired groan and rolled his face into the pillow under his head.
A gasp exited from her lips at this, as if she couldn't believe her own father was acting so inconsiderate. "You said there was a big surprise, remember?"
He let a slight snore slip after her spoken words.
She gave a tiny displeasured sigh, overly dramatized of course, and hopped off the large bed. Ikuto cracked open an eye and watched her dark azure head disappear out the door. He clearly heard her heavy padded steps echo off the house's walls accompanied with the much too loud t.v. set playing in the background. He chuckled.
What's she planning now? was the slow thought slipping into the back of his mind. He was just teasing his daughter on her birthday, knowing full well she would be too excited about her 'big' present to wait till the normal seven o'clock time. He waited a total of two minutes until she ran back into the room with a small red plastic bucket in hand. Ikuto recognized it from her play garden set.
She obviously didn't notice her father looking her over quizzically with one eye open and the other squinting in the light the blinded window was letting in.
The small girl stepped closer to the bed, but looked rather hesitant and fearful of what might unfold with this action. "I'm sorry daddy, but you need to wake up!" were the words she uttered from her lips right before a blast of ice cold water was thrown directly into his face.
"Dia…I always liked that name…"
"You sure?"
"Yes. It's perfect."
"Youf fure four mot fhmad?" Dia Tsukiyomi said with a mouth full of cheerios, honey hued orbs wide and full of bright searing guilt.
Ikuto sat across from her at a small kitchen table, barefoot and with a new shirt on. The other one had gotten soaked as had the sheets. A slow thrumming hum of a dryer was heard in the back, even though it was heavily muted from the deafening t.v. blasting various cartoon noises, it was clear and loud in the exhausted Ikuto's head. He stared at his daughter, tempted to say yes and cause the little girl to freak out and promise him to 'never-ever-never-do-it-again-cross-my-heart-forever!' But he decided against it, knowing she would just grow angry herself and give him the silent treatment after figuring out his ruse.
"No," he replied, flicking at a lone cheerio against the table cloth that had failed to make it inside her bowl. "I'm not mad."
So much mess.
Such a little girl.
He watched as she began to chomp her teeth absently, making a loud clacking sound, and chewed up grainy bits appeared fully visible on her tongue from where he was sitting.
"Mouth closed," he mumbled.
Dia stopped and swallowed. "I hate cheerios."
Ikuto grabbed a two day old bowl sitting against the table and brushed some crumbs into it. He really needed to clean up in here. "That's what you said last week about the Froot Loops."
Dia's mouth set into a wide O shape as she gawked at her father in complete shock "Nu-uh! I love those!"
He raised his brows in a teasing way. "Then why did you tell me you were allergic when I found half a box full in the trash?"
Her entire face screwed up into complete concentration as she tried to register his words and search her memory for some kind of outing about her fib. "Cause-" she started weakly, "I thought I was, remember that rash-"
"Poison ivy," he dead-panned.
"Nu-uh," Dia protested again, almost mutely as her mouth pulled down into a deep-set pout.
Ikuto stood up and swiped away her still milk full bowl, knowing full well she wasn't going to finish because she hated the drink. The little girl slammed her arms down in front of her and frowned up at him while she rested her chin there. He emptied the dish into the sink and turned on the hot water just as she spoke.
"You haven't said it yet."
Ikuto went for a dishtowel as he turned the faucet off. "Hm?"
She whirled in her seat, going on her knees to look over the top of the chair at him. "It's - ya know -" Her tone revealing some kind of implication he was supposed to receive immediately.
He leaned against the counter, purposefully drying the wet bowl in his hands as slow as possible. "I'm not sure what you mean by that…"
Her tiny jaw almost dropped right to the floor at these words and Ikuto couldn't stifle the smile that came along with her shocked expression. Once the young girl noticed her father's evident amusement, she gave him that furious glower that reminded him so much of a certain woman.
"Dadddd!" Dia groaned and hopped off the chair. This made a noticeably large difference in height compared to the grown man standing fully by the sink. But she didn't seem to have taken any notice of this, nor was her confidence ruptured in the slightest. Dia walked right up to her father and glared. What she did unexpectedly was furl her little fingers onto the bottom of his jeans and pull. If he hadn't bothered to slap on a belt, his pants would have gone completely down.
Dia pointed that childish frown at him, yanking at the fabric repeatedly with such a small trivial force he knew with light amusement, was her best. "You promised!" And that was when she grew so frustrated at his silent state she latched her legs right around his left one and sat right against the floor in her small pink night dress. He watched with a tipped lipped smile, folding both arms right across his chest as she tightened hers around his knee, smashing her cheek into the blue fabric.
"I won't let go until you say it!"
"Oh really?"
Ikuto lifted his leg, easily plopping her up and down a few times against the shiny green washed tile. This resulted in an almost smothered giggle from his daughter. But she remained stubborn with her anger, gripping tighter each time her hands began to slip on their hold.
And then a single chime echoed throughout the halls and rooms. Dia and her father both glanced towards the direction it was coming from and quickly looked back at each other.
Well, who's going to get it?
She scowled at Ikuto and buried her face in the folds of his jeans.
With this he gave a shrug of his shoulders and lifted his leg and began to move towards the front door.
She gave a shrill shriek of surprise and laughed the whole way. "DAD!" Dia looked around, disbelief taking hold and falling across her features. She held tighter, afraid she would slip and the free ride would be completely ruined. Ikuto continued on as if this were normal and eventually reached door after a minute or so with some difficulty of moving his daughter across a large stretch of space.
"I don't remember you being so heavy…" he mumbled then turned the golden knob of the door. With this action, the slab of wood swung open to reveal a familiar tanned face in the early brisk morning. His smile was stark white as always and a prominent default setting everyday of his life. But the grin seemed to grow even wider - to Ikuto's wonder in how that was possible - as his bright green eyes set upon the small girl attached to the violinist's left leg.
Kukai Souma looked at Dia and did a little wave. She gave a large, partially missing toothed smile, and piped up a friendly 'hi!'. "Leg transportation must be very efficient with young people these days."
"You sound like an old man," Ikuto replied dully. "What do you consider young?"
"Oohh," Kukai remarked with a sly tilt to his lips. "Feeling touchy about our age now?"
Ikuto didn't respond this time, he only turned back around and went to step his way back into the house and ignore his friend's existence all together. Kukai gave a slight chuckle and came in on his own accord without consent from the host and shut the door. "I kid, I kid!" He laughed. "Don't get cold on me yet, we have all day for you to brood."
Dia suddenly seemed to forget her protesting against Ikuto and leaped off from his leg. She jumped up and down with excitement, her yellow gaze bright and ecstatic. "Uncle Kukai!" she shrieked and leaped into his outstretched arms. Kukai fell back on his crouched legs from her sudden plowing force.
"Geez, you've gotten bigger!" he remarked with overly dramatic surprise. "What have you been feeding her? Pretty soon she's gonna shoot up past me!" Dia giggled at this and Ikuto could hear it perfectly sound and clear as he grew farther and farther away towards the kitchen. He reached for the orange juice on the kitchen table, which was now free from its former chilled state
Her laugh was something so pure and melodic…sweet and addicting. Ikuto had paused in his faraway thoughts, forgetting to close the fridge. The cool air snuck around him and deep into his skin. He stared at a lonely milk carton that was just about out, a sudden thick rolling chill running up his spine.
She always remembered to buy milk.
"Heyo daddio."
Ikuto snapped back to reality with a jerk and turned towards his unexpected guest with a expression set in boredom. Dia was staring at her father over Kukai's unruly haired head, holding onto the man by his strong grip on her arms with her legs dangling from his shoulders.
That quick sliver of realization on the former soccer player's face was enough to tell Ikuto he had been caught in the act of spacing out again.
"Hm?" He answered, swinging the door shut and leaning the side of his body against the icy exterior.
Kukai appeared to be battling with himself whether or not to ask if his friend was alright, but he decided not to with young ears listening in on the conversation. "When are you planning on letting the birthday girl know her present?"
The little girl gasped, jostling so much Kukai had a difficult time keeping her steady.
"HA! There was a surprise!" She stuck her tongue out in brief victory at Ikuto, but her expression soon took to excitement. "What is it? Tell me, please? !"
Kukai laughed, letting down the wound up Dia from his shoulders. "Oh pleasepleaseplease -" he pleaded too, joining in with the little girl's begging chorus.
Ikuto eyed them both without a flicker of amusement, crossing his arms loosely.
Dia huffed at his lack of reaction, now silent.
The overhead kitchen clock was the only continuous sound. It ticked and ticked as father and daughter continued their muted stare off contest. Honey and azure eyes battled for a break in exterior. Kukai then crouched, a devious plan hatching in his head as he leaned over and whispered something into the younger girl's ear.
She giggled but smothered it with a forced and weak serious expression. Ikuto cocked his head, his lips twitching to go into a small smile. Dia was as open as any book out there.
"Hey Dia, are you noticing the same thing I am?" Kukai wondered out loud with that boyish grin that never seemed to wane away.
The dark haired girl gave a solid jerk of her neck. "I think so."
"Someone told a fib around here." Kukai raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that a big rule breaker?"
Dia leveled her father with her powerful dominating gaze, even though he towered above. She titled her head right back at Ikuto, putting her small chubby hands to her hips. "Yeah! It is!"
"Now, what shall the punishment be for the liar over there? I don't think he should be let off easy, either."
Dia put a finger to her chin in mock deep though as if she was thinking about creating a cure for all the diseases in the world. She cleared her throat, holding her head up way high.
"I got it."
Kukai nodded along with these words vigorously.
"You!" She jabbed a finger up at Ikuto, posing dramatically in her tiny pink nightdress showcasing her cartoon hero waving a microphone like a baton into the air. "You will say what I've been waiting for all morning and reveal the top secret present!"
BEEEEP
Dia jumped, letting out a piercing squeak of terror at the surprising sound.
Ikuto chuckled to himself, while heading to the perpetrator of the noise. As he busied himself with unloading the dry clothes from the old metal machine in the other cramped room next to the kitchen, he heard Dia's hushed but loud whispering towards her uncle.
"You said it would work!"
Ikuto grabbed the perfectly residue free jacket that had been dirtied by Dia's water color paint set a few nights earlier, and threw it over his shoulders. "You guys do know I was just waiting for the laundry to be done?"
At the intruding quiet that answered him, Ikuto could only shake his head with a vague sense of enjoyment.
"Dia," he called, stepping out into the hall with his now sock clad feet. He watched the doorway leading to the kitchen, hearing faintly the many whispers of his daughter and much too carefree brother-in-law.
Sure enough, her face poked its way from around the corner. She looked at her father warily, a bit sour faced at the fact she hadn't heard the magic words yet again as she had hoped.
His mouth titled up slightly in the corner, that way she knew was genuine. "Happy Birthday."
"You know I won't be there for her."
Ikuto didn't answer the woman so frail against the ghostly stained sheets.
"Ikuto…please…"
He looked up reluctantly at that wistful smiling face. The woman he loved.
"Be there for her. Promise me."
He did, he did even though he refused to believe she wouldn't die.
He did just that.
Bawling children and various fussing mothers and stand offish fathers crowded the entire middle of the zoo area. The cackles of foreign creatures sounded throughout the entire park and robbed the attention of Ikuto's ears like an insistent drawling bawl. He felt the prodding tug of Dia's fingers clasped tightly in his own and turned his head in her direction. She was red faced and sweating a bucket full under the grueling August heat, but this didn't ultimately stop her in the least. The young girl was perfectly fine suffering in such a hot heat wave just to run around and look at the lazing animals. They had seen the tigers, the monkeys, the chimpanzees, everything in existence it felt like. He didn't know why a book couldn't suffice.
The man then looked down at his daughter who was excitedly chattering away about cute fluffy pandas they had encountered awhile back.
Ikuto knew Dia had wanted to come here for the longest time after seeing it advertised on TV. But his jobs had always gotten in the way, until he was able to take today off after saving up enough and being forced to accept some money from Utau. Pregnant women could be terrifying and very much life threatening.
Kukai and Utau had tagged along for the ride long enough throughout the zoo, before suddenly stopping at a nearby bench with Kukai's face gone deeply in concern.
Ikuto glanced back at the couple, narrowing his sights on his exhausted looking younger sister. She was batting away her husband's gentle hands with her expression permanently set in irritation, probably insisting she was perfectly fine and just needed a small rest. Her ankles were probably killing her. She was around mid-way into the pregnancy and undergoing mood swings and cravings like crazy. Ikuto didn't mention it in front of her face that she was an over controlling she-demon out for blood, even though she very much was. And he was perfectly content avoiding her whenever she happened to be near. By the time he, Dia, and Kukai had left the house and collected in the minivan awaiting on the curb, she was purple in the face with anger about having to wait so damn long. But this didn't stop her from being oddly sweet to the newly turned seven year old girl.
"Is everything alright?" was the question out of his mouth once in hearing distance under the shade of a large oak. Utau's sharp violet eyes snapped to his face and in them ignited a new thunderous storm of rage he hadn't thought possible.
"Stop fussing over me." She barked. "The heat just got to me is all."
Kukai fidgeted, wringing his hands for a moment. "But…are you sure? I could get you water, or something to eat - oh, I know! You feel like cotton candy again, right?"
Dia perked up. "Cotton candy? Ooh, daddy! Can we get some?"
Utau pursed her lips at her husband and didn't say a word. The air around her was sweltering, and not just from the warm weather.
"Maybe later…" Ikuto answered his daughter softly. "Are you sure about being fine?"
His sister smoothed a hand over her rounded stomach, letting loose a quiet sigh. "Yes. Yes, okay? All you men are such drama queens."
Ikuto didn't respond to this, thinking to himself that he was acting the worried brother part well actually.
It was Kukai who was a nervous wreck.
Said person smoothed hand through his already mussed up auburn hair, causing it to appear even more disheveled. "The doctor said you shouldn't be on your feet so much. That's why I thought you should have stayed home and let me help out here. I just don't want anything to happen to you or the baby -"
You failed to protect her…
Utau began to stand, much to Kukai's evident shock, pushing away his ready helping hands with that stubborn frown of hers. "I'm not going to collapse. Stop freaking out every time I get tired, it happens to all wives who have to deal with fussy husbands like you." Despite her previous protests, he slipped an arm around her waist anyway and pulled her tightly to his side.
"It's fussy husbands like me who love their wives too much to follow their orders to back off." He grinned at her displeased pout, and took the bag from the bench that was known as her much too large purse.
She gave a note of disbelief in the back of her throat. "You're seriously not going to carry that -"
He winked. "Watch me." And the purse was hanging freely over his shoulder by two of his fingers.
"Well, that hardly counts."
Kukai gave a shrug. "I'm carrying it, aren't I?"
Dia watched all this with a curious expression, wandering thoughts that were somewhat similar to the man's beside her. She didn't speak such things out loud just yet, hesitant to bring up that painful flash of grief in her father's dark eyes. Every time her mother happened to be mentioned, he would seize up and close off for a few hours, totally cold and indifferent. She didn't like it when that happened, not one bit.
Kukai tipped a make-believe hat on his head towards Ikuto. "So, where to next, captain?"
Ikuto stared at his daughter, questioning her without words. Her chin shot down to the stone walkway that lead all throughout the zoo as families passed them by without a misstep. The sun was waning down in the distance and light was becoming dimmer and dimmer. She scratched the heels of her shiny black shoes that she had worn to Utau's and Kukai's wedding the previous year against the ground, fidgeting nervously under her father's scrutinizing gaze. She wanted so desperately to ask him the question that hand been on her mind for over two years.
But…how?
Ikuto caught sight of her flopping shoe clasp that was difficult for her small fingers to do, mistaking her silence for embarrassment of not being able to handle such a thing.
"You two can head home, I think today is pretty much done."
Kukai took this excuse immediately, wanting to get Utau on something that was plush and comfortable as soon as possible. He waved towards Dia, turning his wife so as they were beginning to head towards the exit promptly and accordingly.
"Hope you had fun today, and we'll be there waiting for the guest of honor tonight at the party."
Dia perked immediately at the mention of later planned festivities. "Really?"
He grinned brightly back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
He began to lead a reluctant Utau in the direction of the large exiting gate, going over her persisting annoyed reassurances with his loud comments on the weirdly hot temperatures of the entire week. Ikuto waited until they were out of sight before directing his daughter onto the bench Utau had been sitting on a previous minute or two before. Dia hopped on up, and didn't even question her father as he ducked down to her legs that were still too short to touch the ground. She watched in absolute quiet, once in awhile glancing at the exasperated mother's towing along worn out children. At the exact moment the clasp gave a satisfying tiny click, Dia said the one thing she knew could ruin the entire day.
"Mommy isn't here again."
Ikuto froze. The light summer breeze snuck up on them both, and weaseled its way into their clothes and across their warmed skin. He didn't look up from her dress shoes he hadn't noticed until now being the ones he told her not to wear outside.
"I know."
Her hands clamped down on the prickly wooden sides as confusion and complete frustration bit firmly on her mid section and refused to let go.
"She missed last year too."
He tapped the end of her shoe softly once. "I know."
Dia's chin quivered as that wretched pull of desperate sadness swarmed her nerves.
"She told me she would be here!" Dia told him, wanting her father to just look at her. "She said it when we went to that place before she disappeared!"
Why…did mommy lie to me?
"I…know."
Dia crossed her arms tightly, her bottom lip jutting out in a pout. "Then why isn't she here?"
"She's far away."
"That's what you said last time." Two years earlier when the house was suddenly absent of a familiar tender touch.
"Mommy has to stay there to get better." He whispered, pulling her small hands into his. He wanted to keep them there forever, for as long as he could so they would never get hurt.
Dia's anger disappeared with his words and suddenly all she could do was want another answer, yet she only repeated her deepest wish to a father that wanted the very same. "But I want her to come back, just for a little…a little…" She sniffled and tears pooled, threatening to fall onto his fingers.
Ikuto leaned his forehead lightly against her own and closed his eyes.
"Me too."
"Iku -" Utau gasped and her arms fell numbly to her sides. "Ikuto!"
He didn't say a word nor pause as the endless photographs fluttered into the flames and were engulfed in one single moment. The raging inferno was monstrous in the small fire place.
"What are you doing?" she about yelled, eyes wide in shock. Ikuto continued with this mindless cycle, grabbing picture frames, drawings, anything that made him imagine her face. Her dead eyes.
"Stop it!" Utau rushed forward and made a grab for his wrist.
"STOP!"
"Are you sure grandma and grandpa won't be mad?"
Ikuto watched Dia, thoroughly amused and baffled that she could manage to cover her entire mouth with chocolate and nuts. He grabbed a napkin from the almost empty dispenser and wiped at her filthy face, much to her evident displeasure. She pulled away and continued licking her rocky road ice cream cone that was practically demolished from her sloppy eating habits. The counter was riddled with crusty bits and pieces, chocolate drops appearing in random places splattered everywhere. Ikuto sighed, giving up, and leaned his head back against the booth while setting his arms crossed on his chest.
"Nope," he finally answered, knowing this would make her go into hysterics.
Dia stared at him with her eyes as wide as saucers, ice cream forgotten. "WHAT?"
A few heads turned at her loud exclamation, but she didn't pay it any more mind than he did.
"You said it was fine to come here before my party!"
"Well," he started lazily, "I suppose it does ruin your appetite and will make your grandfather…upset."
He hadn't done this on purpose, knowing Mr. Hinamori would be more than upsetwith him. Really, he supposed coming here to dry her tears up with a promised sugary treat would lift her spirits in time of the designated birthday later today. Dia immediately threw her unfinished cone away and hopped from the booth at an impeccable speed. She grabbed at her father's crisscrossed arm and pulled. Ikuto came to with a start, not expecting such force from such a small girl. Her dark high pigtails bounced and bobbed as she yanked and wrenched with all her strength available.
"Come on! They're all waiting for us, what if we get stuck or something?"
I didn't think about traffic…
He gave in, appearing reluctant, but actually was quite humored by her panicked state. Ikuto stopped at the door, watching with a small plucking smile as she obviously couldn't life the heavy seal open.
She turned around with a frown, face stained with faded traces of ice cream still.
"Having trouble?"
Dia stomped her foot and groaned. "DADDDD!"
"I'll take care of her myself."
"I know you must feel responsible, obligated…but we are able adults. We raised two children already and we can give her a room of her own, a full education -"
"You're saying I can't take care of my own daughter?" That I'm not an adult?
"No." Mrs. Hinamori sighed. "I know exactly what you must be feeling right now, but…please just give this some thought."
"I've given this all enough thought." He spoke quietly, his tone oddly detached. "I'm keeping Dia where she's grown up the first five years of her life. If you want to take her away from me, fine." I'll fight for my daughter the whole damn way.
As soon as the door opened, Ikuto was greeted by none other than a stiff upper lip and a set of angry russet eyes. Dia plowed right onto Mr. Hinamori's leg, hugging and gushing so much he instantly faltered with his bad mood and couldn't help but loosen up in the middle of his rage and hug right back. In one single moment, the fury was driven away and now the retired photographer was twirling around his granddaughter, revealing in her delighted giggles and screeches. Ikuto saw this all coming, stepping quietly inside and shutting the door with the back of his foot. Now the slowly setting sun was at his back, cut off and going on without his consent.
Mrs. Hinamori shook her head at her husband, laughing as he began to shower Dia with attention by telling her how great and cute she was.
The woman before Ikuto gave him a knowing small smile and gestured towards the closet. "Shoes in there, you know the drill." And then she was disappearing around the corner and into the kitchen. The next few minutes ensued promptly and Ikuto was lazing around on the couch in front of the TV watching a cartoon that Dia was obsessed with nowadays. This just so happened resulted in Mr. Hinamori resting just beside him. Although, he wasn't relaxed, not in the least. His back was stiff and straight, face determined to remain angry and completely bitter towards the young man beside him. Dia went unknowing of her grandfather's evident dislike of her father, kicking her legs back and forth continually through the air while lying on the carpeted floor much too close to the screen. On it there was a young girl with golden hair and a hot pink microphone with a screwed up looking bad guy. They were on a roof for some reason…
"I will use my melody to purify your heart that is full of hatred!"
Ikuto scratched his cheek, wondering how in the hell this program got on TV.
"NOOOO! How can this be? I thought you lost your voice of purity!"
"All my pop sisters helped me get it back, because we have the true gift! The power of friendship!"
Pop sisters? he thought. For the love of god.
"Never mind all those lies. You will never defeat me, the almighty X!"
"They are not lies, we only speak the truth. We are-"
Dia jumped up and stood blocking the entire screen. She held up a mock microphone into the air (a stray hairbrush) and spoke along with the heroine.
"The voice of the world!"
And then began the entire trio, singing of course. Purifying.
A lanky shape leaned against the back of the couch, creating a resounding creak next to Ikuto's ear.
"That's so stupid." The young teen commented, eyebrows furrowed down as he scrutinized all the heros wearing entirely too short mini dresses decked out in rhinestones.
Dia whipped sharply around, her face shocked to hear such a thing come from someone's mouth. But when she caught sight of the older boy known as Tsubasa she started to glare, coming right up to him with her hands poised at her hips.
"You don't even watch it! Your shows are-are dumb!"
Tsubasa grinned lazily, ruffling her hair. "I just said that, kid. Be original."
Dia tore away from his playful touch, crossing her arms. "It's not kid! I'm seven now, you should wish me happy birthday!"
Another person appeared from behind, although shorter than Tsubasa they made it up with being overly loud and dominating in stance. Yaya hit her younger brother over the head, scowling.
"Be nice! It is her birthday, stop ruining it with your bad attitude!"
Yaya then turned towards Dia, holding out her arms. "Now does Yaya get a hug from the birthday girl?"
Dia happily complied. And that's when things started to get very crowded and deafening. Ikuto, having dealt with this earlier at the zoo, had no wish to join the fun of fussing over his pregnant sister or offering endless hugs and kisses. Luckily, Kukai was enough to entertain everyone and distract people from the man alone on the couch. After a while, all the women hustled their way into the kitchen (with a huffy Rima in tow who had originally been stopping in for a minute) and Kukai and Nagihiko busied themselves with talking indirectly to an unresponsive Ikuto. Mr. Hinamori had gone to wrap a few more things that had slipped his mind.
Tsubasa was keeping the curious Dia busy with his DS, Indian style on the floor with the little girl sitting in his lap. They had their stormy moments, but were in fact very close. Something that was beginning to cause an insistent niggling at the back of Ikuto's mind he did not like at all. He watched them, obviously ignorant of the recent topic that had popped up about Utau's violent mood swings.
Nagihiko caught the apparent look on Ikuto's face, ignoring Kukai's repetitive spoken concerns of the birth yet to come, now amused. "He's not going to take her away and disappear…you know that, right?"
Kukai glanced towards the spot that was now the focal point of their attention. "Huh, you mean Tsubasa and Dia? He just watches out for her, and there's a pretty big age gap between them. Besides, I don't think you should really worry about it now, she's still just a kid."
She was young, innocent, too good for a lowlife like him.
"That didn't stop me."
These words had them both on immediate high alert. He never brought up Amu like that so easily, never by himself. The silence was deafening in its own painful way, a stillness that sucked out even the high shrill choruses of the women in the other room.
Kukai was the first to break.
"Is everything okay?" he asked gently, tentative and nervous whether or not he would get a response. "I mean, do you want to talk about it?"
When Ikuto got up and went towards the pictures hanging idly on the wall next to the staircase, Nagihiko gave a quick kick to the leg of the chair Kukai was occupying. The tanner man shot his friend an incredulous look, mouthing 'well, what else was I supposed to say?' Nagihiko stayed quiet, taking a glimpse of the stoic Ikuto gazing at the photos of a young rosette haired girl. He contemplated getting up and saying something along the lines of comfort. Nagihiko threw out that idea after a few moments, frustrated as his thoughts came up empty. Maybe Kukai had a point. Really, what the hell was he supposed to say?
Ikuto, seemingly unaware of the turmoil he left, ran a finger over the dusty frame holding a young teen, ripened at the age of sixteen. The very same year feelings other than protectiveness and fondness had begun to swarm his senses and irritate him beyond belief. Amu went unknowing of his inner turmoil about being attracted to a girl who was much younger than him. It wasn't okay, he didn't have the damn right to love her so much. He honestly never pursued her, and actually tried to avoid Amu until she showed up unannounced at his apartment and demanded (rather loudly) why he was eluding her purposefully. He wanted to smile at the memory that had amazed him at the time. But his mouth wouldn't budge from its thin tight line. Ikuto moved on, trying to shove back the unrelenting dark shadowy scenes of past that came after all the happy ones. He paused at another, where she was seven, the same age as Dia. Her hair was in pigtails too, clasped with clips that had thick white painted X's. Even as a child, Amu's mother had been infatuated with the idea of putting her daughter in gothic styled clothing.
That day, he remembered it so clearly. The way the air was slightly chilled, his skin that was just rising with goose bumps. He had been kicked out of the house after getting in an argument with his step-dad, one that resulted in a broken lamp as he recalled. Ikuto had been brooding, pissed to his very core, on a lone park bench when she had sat next to him in her dark violet dress fringed with black.
"Are you alone, too?"
"W-what?"
"I'm lost. I can't find mommy. Can I sit here?"
She had just trusted a stranger, a very angry one at that, so easily.
That moment he had unknowingly met the very girl he would fall, and hard, in love with.
"CAKE! Hurry your butts in here!" Yaya yelled from the kitchen. While Nagihiko and Kukai took their time getting up, Dia flew out of Tsubasa's lap and disappeared through the doorway in a matter of seconds. Pretty soon he was left there, standing alone looking at photographs that dug deep and attacked something inside him viciously.
It was just his luck at that moment, while everyone else was now safely tucked away inside the kitchen the door would open and reveal another person he didn't much like to reminisce about.
Ikuto blinked once at Tadase standing now unsure in the doorway before turning back and continuing on.
"You're late."
"You told me you would protect her."
"…"
"You promised me you would take care of Amu."
"…."
"Well, I'm leaving after the funeral. Moving downtown."
"…"
"I can't take this anymore, really, I can't."
"Fine. Leave."
"I didn't come here for your permission. I just thought you needed to know."
"…"
"Goodbye…Ikuto."
Her face was bright, so happy. A white glow showered Dia's face from the already dripping candles, while the rest of the space was entirely cast in darkness. Everyone standing around was solely focused on the little girl sitting at the front of the table with a gigantic vanilla frosted cake under her nose. Well, mostly. Ikuto kept staring at a certain blonde man on the opposite side, knowing fully that he was probably making him vastly uncomfortable. The song was strangely long, seeming to go by slower and slower as he continued to look at his once childhood rival for Amu's affection.
Who invited him? He wondered. Probably Mrs. Hinamori.
It hasn't been that many years since, he knows. Tadase left not long after…
She wasn't moving.
After…
Her face was pale and slack.
…after…
"Make a wish Dia!" Yaya urged piercingly so as Ikuto came to with a sharp jerk. There was too much noise from all the partygoers, no one reacted to him jostling the china cabinet. Even though this was true, Dia still narrowed her golden eyes on her father as if she had heard the muted sound. Everyone waited with held breathes, not wanting to threaten the candles flames.
And then suddenly, she was blowing them out.
In one instant, they were all done, smoke curling around their blackened tips.
The lights flickered on and a collective group of groans ensued.
"What's you'd wish for, Barbie dolls?" Tsubasa questioned, although in a teasing manner.
Yaya glowered at him for Dia, whapping Tsubasa over the head once again. "Don't ask! You're not supposed to reveal the wish or it won't come true!"
At hearing this, Dia's face went white in fear and she immediately meshed her lips together, air tight.
Tsubasa rubbed at the back of his head, leaning over the back of Dia's chair and giving her an apologetic look. "Sorry -" He then took notice of her fearful expression and grew alarmed. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Ikuto watched all this from his far away spot, not reacting at the push and shoves of all the people trying to get to the cake and other utensils scattered around. He would have gone forward and said to his daughter the very same if he hadn't been stopped in his tracks by another voice.
"Ikuto."
Tadase was there, right by his side. As close as he had been the last day Ikuto had seen him. No one was paying particular attention to the pair, except Kukai who was glimpsing at them both curiously next to Utau who was trying to shove away Yaya with a piece of cake in her hand.
"That will make me fatter than I already am."
"You're pregnant, you have an excuse to gain weight and eat all the candy you want!"
"Yaya hasn't changed," Tadase commented with a small smile.
Ikuto glanced towards his daughter, relieved to see that Tsubasa was managing to cheer her up and battle away the oncoming tears. Tears he knew exactly what the cause of them was.
"Well, I know you probably don't want to see me…" Tadase sighed. "But I just wanted to apologize for saying all those things to you. I had no right to say them. I was shocked, in grief -"
"That doesn't change the fact that you meant every word."
It was silent between the two men for the longest time.
Until Ikuto really looked at Tadase and saw him as he really was, sorry and regretful.
You didn't protect her!
It's your fault she's dead, yours!
"It's fine," Ikuto spoke dully. "They're true."
Tsumugu made his grand entrance in the kitchen right then, showcasing a large shiny wrapped box.
"PRESENT TIME!" Ami appeared at his right, making a face behind his back at her mother.
"Yay!" Dia leaped off from her chair and ran her fastest towards the very things she had been waiting for all day.
Mrs. Hinamori laughed and started to shoo the whole troop into the next room. Kukai made a grab for his plate, but in the end was unsuccessful and forced in the living area by his wife.
Tadase, dazed, stared at Ikuto's retreating back.
"Wait," he called.
Ikuto didn't stop.
Tadase continued anyway, desperate for an answer he wouldn't get. "You don't actually believe that it's your fault, do you?"
Do you?
Her fingers were ice.
The heart monitor was silent.
He held her hand, tighter and tighter.
Her eyes were shut, her chest still.
But he didn't let her hand go.
He would wait until it was warm again.
He would wait forever.
Dia was snugly tucked away under the covers, and to him that was safe and secure. Ikuto stood by her bedside, watching her serene childish features, contemplating the idea that when she was older she might look just like her mother. That thought made him seize rigid and want to lock her away forever so no boys could get to his little girl. Ikuto rolled his neck back, glancing at the vast amounts of presents (the majority from her grandfather) sitting near the old rickety dollhouse. The very same dollhouse that had been kept by Amu when she was younger. She tried to convince him that it was just something she forgot to throw away when he had snuck up into her bedroom once. At thirteen she had been trying to force a cold and distant act on him that he didn't much like. All he had to do was get her flustered to snap out of it.
But then, others began to talk to her. Not just Tadase (his childhood friend she was crushing on then) or his sister she had met once or twice before. No, others at school, her own age. He'd assumed she'd just forget about him and move on with all these new people. But…
"Daddy?"
…she never did…
Ikuto looked back at the bed, and sure enough her eyes were wide open and fully awake. "I thought you had school tomorrow, Dia," he warned softly.
This didn't faze her in the least. "Mommy's been gone a long time."
He knew she would start to ask, he knew very well.
"Are you sure she's not coming back?"
But why did she have to wonder the impossible?
Ikuto made his way over to the door, bright veils snaking across his tall form and onto her eyes. Dia blinked narrowly in the hall light, hugging a worn teddy bear with its left ear missing. He leaned against the doorframe, rubbing at his chin that was beginning to harbor stubble.
He can't look at her.
He can't look his daughter in the eye with this word.
"Yeah…" He whispered in the dark and shut the door, closing off her face that he didn't want to see disappointed again. Not with the truth.
"She's not coming back, Ikuto."
"…."
"No matter how long you stay here. She won't."
"….."
"Take the gift she gave you. Guard that little girl with your life, and know that Amu left her to you."
You.
To say he had a good's night sleep would be an understatement.
To say he awakened refreshed would be a lie.
He slept like the dead and woke in heart stopping fear. Ikuto looked around, eyes strained against their forced alertness. He jerked up, swinging his legs out from under the warm sheets. He shivered against the cold stinging the bottom of his bare feet, but didn't stop. He had fallen asleep in his clothes the night before, getting caught up in deep thoughts of 'maybe's' and 'what if's'. Ikuto didn't care that his bones were stiff and that he felt strange in yesterday's attire. All he could manage to do was stare at the clock's blood red numbers with an odd sensation crawling up his spine.
10:15
What.
10:15
No.
10:15
That was supposed to be 7:30.
Now the feeling was slowly coming in, singeing his nerve endings like skin that got too close to a roaring flame. Ikuto jumped up with a loud creak of protest from the bed. He made his way out to the hallway, ducking his head inside Dia's room to see if she had overslept.
Which she never does.
When his sights came up empty, that's when it began to throw him off on an unsteady ride. He pounded his way through the empty kitchen, the ghost like living room. Everything was quiet, deserted, deprived of the sounds from a young girl. His heart was hammering fast and hard, his mind was going full speed right into a collision course with his sanity. The house was silent as it had been the night Amu died.
She always watched cartoons when she came around. She always woke him up at seven thirty. She always ate breakfast with him at the table. She always begged him to ride in the front next to him. He always said no. She always pouted for two minutes then went on talking like nothing happened in the back of the car. She always waved goodbye and blew him a kiss. He always waited at the curb until she was inside school, her hello kitty backpack gone from view.
And then he would go home and sleep for another hour or two before getting ready for work.
She would go home with Yaya who was coming from collage, thus picking up Tsubasa later on their way to the house. Dia would stay there until eight, which he would arrive and take her home.
It always happened that way.
Always.
Briiiiinnnggggg-
Ikuto grabbed the phone, thinking in overwhelming dread that someone on the other line was going to tell him that something happened to his daughter.
"Hello?"
"…yes?"
"Oh! Mr. Tsukiyomi, did you forget to call Dia in sick?"
Relief flooded his system like icy rain. But he was still panicked, wired thin and about ready to blow.
He didn't answer the woman on the other line, leaving it on the end table off the hook. Ikuto stared quick and hard at the ajar doorway leading its way outside to the summertime air. He could hear the elementary office attendant's 'hello's' and 'are you there's' clearly but didn't pick up the phone and answer her worrying voice. Ikuto bounded out the door and down the steps quickly and not too carefully. The grass was warmed by the sun's lazy rays, tickling in between his toes. He looked widely around, searching for her dark head and flashing golden eyes.
The anxiety was eating at his insides and tearing them to shreds with every passing moment that didn't hold his daughter. That familiar sense was creeping up along his neck. The terrifying concept that maybe she was hurt somewhere, crying for him, calling out alone and frightened.
Or maybe already -
That idea was too much. Ikuto couldn't even bring himself to imagine such a thing. He looked up towards the sky, helpless and unknowing of his daughter's whereabouts. Suddenly, unexpectedly, he caught in the corner of his eyes something pink and fluttery. Ikuto whipped around towards the lone leafless tree that had died long ago. And sure enough, there sitting at almost the very top amidst all the rotting branches was Dia in her nightgown.
"Dia!" He called, mostly in tremendous reprieve.
She turned at his voice, now appearing somewhat surprised and guilty.
Ikuto stepped closer to the tree. "What are you doing up there?" he asked almost to himself, but she evidently heard his quiet tone.
"You told me mommy's far away up in the sky!" She pointed with difficulty, grabbing at an unsteady limb. "So, I'm trying to call her from this tree. It took me awhile to climb, and I thought you would be angry -" At a rapid resounding crack slicing the sweet breeze, Ikuto stiffened at noticing the very branch she poised on was splitting and almost ready to break.
"Dia," he spoke lowly, feeling almost frozen to the spot in fear. "Get down now."
She flinched back from his now dangerous looking attitude, taking it the wrong way. "But…mommy might come back if I call long and loud enough…"
He got even nearer, watching the decaying wood closely, his body on high alert. "It's not safe up there, here, I'll come to you -"
"No!" She screamed, clinging to the branch now. "You can't! I have to get mommy to come -"
"Damn it, Dia," he snapped harshly. Ikuto just wanted her out of that tree and on the ground. "She's not coming back! How many times have I told you that?"
Her features turned to shock, never had she heard her father yell at her before. Dia held onto the wood with quaking fingers, her lower lip now trembling; tears appearing in her eyes. Ikuto cursed silently to himself, not meaning to let his frustration out on her. She sniffled in the now quiet area, her murky shaded hair billowing around her face and towards the wind.
"I'm sorry," Ikuto spoke gently this time, meaning it. "I just don't want you to get hurt."
She nodded mutely, but still appeared unsure. He reached forward, using a foothold jutting outward on the flaking trunk. Dia started to come down, putting her untied shoe on one of the lower branches. But she turned sharply back, reaching for a familiar fuzzy head. "I almost forgot him!" This movement was much too abrupt for the old limbs, and Ikuto knew it wouldn't hold.
"DIA!" he cried out as the branch snapped under her weight. Her scream ripped at his ears like a piercing wound. Ikuto watched as she fell through all the blackened branches, the snaps echoing in the neighborhood like gunshots. When she fell into his arms, the force plowing onto his chest with such a tremendous weight all he could manage was a strangled grunt as his back met the ground. His body felt weak and battered but he immediately opened his eyes that had shut on impulse and looked at Dia curled in his arms. Scratches and one gash on her arm made gnawing worry twist in his gut, but he could feel her shaking; her fingers clenching his shirt so strongly.
"D-daddy?" she ventured, revealing her face from his chest. Her skin was riddled with similar small cuts but all he could see were those eyes.
Those same eyes he had seen slowly die once before.
Dark.
Lifeless.
Dia's weren't. She stared at him now, bawling like a baby, holding onto him with all her might. And her eyes were bright, terrified and wide open. He couldn't help but gather her close, tight in his hold and breathe in her light childish scent.
She was alive.
That was all that mattered.
"I love you Ikuto, no matter what happens…"
"Don't say that."
"I love you and so does she."
"…."
"You still have Dia, remember that."
You have your daughter.
And she has you.
Always.
Hello there! You've made it to the end of my longest one-shot ever! YAY! :D Okay, this story was started six months ago and I suddenly got inspired with an ending, so, tada! It's done. And I worked REALLY HARD to finish it, I put so much energy into finishing. I mean, this is almost ten thousand words. I didn't really explain much that happened, I hope it was understandable with the flashbacks and whatnot. I didn't want it to get too complicated, I was just mainly focusing on Dia and Ikuto for this oneshot. I battled over her name for the longest time too. And all of a sudden 'Dia' popped into my mind. It just fit.
Examples of stuff I didn't mention: Ikuto's and Utau's mother didn't show up because she died (she was a sickly person in this universe) not long after she married their step-father (that sounds suspicious...), who Ikuto had a bad relationship with. They both don't involve themselves much with him anymore, so yeah, that's why. And Utau didn't get mobbed at the zoo because she's not a mega-famous singer or anything. She models, but not much. And being pregnant and all kind of disrupts her job schedule. Kukai is a soccer coach at the high school...yeah, random details I thought weren't relevant to a one-shot. Amu died of an unrevealed disease...let's just leave it at that...
Curious of their ages?
Kukai: 26/Utau: 28/Rima: 25/Nagihiko: 25/Yaya: 24/Kairi: 23 (I just realized I didn't say anything about him...)/Tsubasa: 14/Tadase: 25/Ikuto: 29 or 30 (Ikuto? OLD? I so went there.)-trying to be technical about their ages, my math isn't the best...
Have a thought to drop my way? By all means, go ahead :)
Thanks for reading!