7 Stages of Acceptance Chapter 1: Why me?, a naruto fanfic

Another little something by me, hope that you guys like this  I know I do.

Title: 7 Stages of Acceptance

Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to… I don't own Naruto.

Excerpt:

One of the questions always asked at the beginning stages: Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

How many times have you heard yourself say this? This stage may appear as a period of depression or it may linger on with unexplained bouts of crying.

Ah… -pant pant- Ngh… Gods…

Naruto peeked his eyes open, meeting the darkness of his bedroom. What was that noise?

-groan- Nnn…ah, shit!

That sounded like Sasuke. Naruto sat up in bed, frowning as he rubbed the sleep out of his eye.

It was in the middle of the night, and the two had been rooming together ever since Naruto's small apartment was infested with rats. That was five months ago, and even though the rats were long gone, Naruto chose to stay. The rent was nearly double where he use to stay and here, it was cheap and more room.

The nineteen year old ninja looked over at his alarm. 'Two o'clock. Fuck.'

He would've roll back over and went back to sleep, but the noise wouldn't stop. It seemed to echo through out the apartment. Was Sasuke watching a porno?

Naruto snickered. If he caught Sasuke in the act, he'd never let the Uchiha live it down. He got up, sneaking out of the room with a small lecherous grin and stealth only a ninja could have.

The blond had opened his door wide enough for him to slide his body through. The floor in the hallway was carpeted, so all he needed to do was walk lightly.

He passed the bathroom, when he noticed something. There was only one TV in the house and that was in the living room, and there wasn't any light in there. 'He's in his room… so much for catching him watching a porno.'

He turned around to walk back to his room. He didn't want to see his best friend masturbating. One, its something every man does, and two, it would just be plain embarrassing. He wanted to catch the almighty Uchiha, watching porno because it meant that Sasuke went out of his way to buy it. If Sasuke ever did get caught watching porn, then there would be no way for anyone get out alive.

Mmm… ah!…Nngh, oh fuck!

Naruto's acute ears could hear Sasuke's low voice. Sasuke was being awfully responsive. Naruto never made that much noise. Maybe the Uchiha only masturbates once every blue moon. Now that right there would-

-pant pant- Naruto… ah!

-make you sensativ- 'What the fuck?!' Naruto's head snapped back at the slightly jarred door.

The blond couldn't stop his legs from tip toeing to the door, he couldn't stop his eyes from peeking in the slightly jarred door, and he definitely couldn't stop the gasp that came from his mouth.

The window's curtains were open and on this particular night, the moon shun brightly, making Sasuke's naked body even more paler than usual.

Sasuke was laying on his back, in his bed, naked, writhing and had both hands between his long muscular legs. His lithe body seemed to be jerking when his left hand -the one that wasn't on his cock- moved.

And now that Naruto was focusing on Sasuke, the blond could hear a small humming sound.

'!' Naruto put his hand over his mouth, and thanks to Kyuubi, his eyes could see a white dildo disappear into Sasuke rectum. He couldn't help but notice that the deeper the vibrator went, the more responsive Sasuke was.

"Ah" Sasuke's voice seemed to be right next to his hair. "Harder, Naruto.." the Uchiha spread his legs open wider, hiking his right leg up into the air.

Sasuke's left hand pulled the dildo out and shoved it back in harshly, and to Naruto, it seemed like it would hurt like hell; but it was different to Sasuke, who seemed to love it. "Shit…Nngh… oh god, oh god!" the raven's voice was anxious, and low key.

Sasuke's right hand jerked his cock, and from the fervent movement, Naruto could tell he was close to completion.

Watching all of this, Naruto would've have never though that the Uchiha… that he would do something like this.

Everything became so clear. There were certain mornings when Sasuke seemed like he was in a good mood. Then later on, Naruto would notice that Sasuke had a small limp.

And Sasuke would be touchy. He would ruffle Naruto's hair, put his harm around Naruto, and even so much to playfully hitting him.

"AH!" Sasuke's sudden cry brought him back to the real world. The one with Naruto watching Sasuke pleasure himself.

Sasuke continued to jerk his cock while his left hand shoved the dildo deep into his entrance, then proceeded to wiggle it around. Sasuke head tossed from side to side, eyes closed, teeth clenched, his bangs plastered on his forehead while the rest laid on the pillow.

Then after a couple of more rough shoves and Sasuke gritting his teeth, he came. Naruto, absently fascinated, watched the semen shoot and land on Sasuke's rapidly rising and falling chest.

The night was quiet with only the sounds of the Uchiha's, now, normal breathing. Just like how it was suppose to be during the night.

After basking in his after glow, Sasuke tentatively pulled out the vibrator, turned it off and sat up.

It hit Naruto that he needed to get out of here, unless he wanted to get caught. 'Hell no!'

He quickly scuttled back to his room, closing the door quietly just in time for Sasuke to come out and go to the bathroom. Probably to clean himself up.

Then, as the blond sat down, something became very apparent.

Naruto was hard.

'Oh my God!!' he stared down at his crotch, horridly with betrayal.

Haruno Sakura slept quietly, enjoying the warmth and softness of her bed.

Tap… tap, tap.

Sakura's face scrunched up. It was well known to the citizens of Konoha that the rosette was a very light sleeper. If a fly were buzzing around the room, she would wake up immediately and thus be in an awful mood.

Tap… tap, tap.

Sakura growled, instantly awake and furious. What the fuck was that sound?!

She absently looked over at her window, and saw the dark silhouette of someone crouching on the tree branch outside.

Tap… tap, tap

Who the hell would be up at this ungodly hour. 'Its fucking three o'clock in the damned morning! Who ever this is, better be fucking important!'

She growled as she peeked through her curtains. "What the-?" she didn't let herself finish, as she opened her window.

"Naruto?!" She hissed, "What the hell are you doing out here?"

Naruto was dressed in his pajamas, a pillow under is arm in the tree next to her window "I need somewhere to sleep right now." he whispered back.

"What?! Why can't you sleep at your place?!" She looked up and down her street, then back down at Naruto, who suddenly had a weird look on his face.

Naruto wasn't whispering anymore. "Please, I really don't want to talk about it right now. I just need place to stay for the night. All I need is the floor to sleep on."

Sakura looked at him for a while longer, trying to figure out for her own why on earth Naruto was out here.

"Ok." She said, and moved to let him in. Naruto was an important person to her, she could never deny him anything.

"Why me?" Naruto mumbled, tears flowing down his cheek; he was currently on the Hokage Mountain. "Why couldn't I just go back to sleep? Why did I have to get up and see all of that?! WHY?!" He yelled at the end, letting it echo over Konoha.

He hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Laying in his bed at home, Naruto couldn't seem to grasp the fact that he saw Sasuke in that kind of situation; he was constantly aware of what had just happened and what was still currently hard between his legs.

Naruto had refused to masturbate. The fact his own body responded to the same sight his minds thought was… horrifying? …sick? No, that isn't right. Sasuke was attractive, hell that was the soul reason every girl in Konoha was after him.

Naruto gasped, 'Does that mean I'm attracted to Sasuke?! My best fucking friend?!' Naruto then sighed. Great. With those thoughts in his head, what was Naruto going to do when he really did finally talk to Sasuke.

Well anyway, after an hour of laying awake, and trying not to listen out for Sasuke, Naruto had finally had enough and went to Sakura's. Naruto hadn't gotten much sleep there. After seeing Sasuke once, Naruto was already bombarded with dreams of the raven. 'Jiraiya always said that if you fall asleep worrying about something, you'll dream about it.'

After three hours there, Naruto had left her house and snuck back into his own, getting clothes and leaving immediately. The blond knew that he wouldn't be able to act normal, much less talk to Sasuke after what happened.

Naruto rubbed his eyes, he had been sitting here for a while now. "I need a mission. Something to do or give me time away from Sasuke." What Naruto really needed was some time to think. The blond found that he usually had enlightening periods of thought when he was on a mission. Strange, yes, but it was better than nothing.

But the sky was barely lit. The sun's rays could be seen around the horizon, coloring the clouds a pretty red-orange while the rest remained a blue hue, the underlining purple.

Quietly, Naruto sat down and continued to think.

The first was obvious. Sasuke wants to have sex with Naruto. That was the one thing Naruto was sure of.

What he wasn't sure of was for what reason. Did he want Naruto because of lust? "Or is it… l-lo…"

God! Naruto couldn't even say it. The thought didn't make him cringe or anything… hell, the thought of two men being together didn't bother him the slightest. It just… it was Uchiha Sasuke! The same person who had vowed to kill his brother and kill his brother at the age of twelve! Twelve! Naruto would've thought that Sasuke would have settled for a girl and do just that… not Naruto, his best friend.

He had heard of instances of best friends liking each other. Especially when they don't show any interest in anyone else or those of the same sex. Either way, sometimes it just a small crush and other times its border-line obsession. But Naruto was going to be Hokage in the near future… that alone gave Naruto obligations. It wouldn't do good to have a relationship with Sasuke, even though he knew that Konoha -the same village Naruto was being Kage for- expected him to start rebuilding his clan. The blond paused in his thoughts before groaning.

…God, Naruto just hoped Sasuke was confused.

'I really hope so, but I know damn well its not so. Sasuke isn't the type to get confused.' Naruto huffed, placing his face into his hands.

Maybe Naruto should just go back to the apartment and confront the Uchiha about it… no that wouldn't work out. He would either end up hurting Sasuke feelings or… or something else he'd regret. And Naruto wasn't even sure of what that 'something else' was.

But still… that was the last thing he wanted to do. Naruto never wanted to hurt Sasuke.

And lets not forget that Naruto was hard after seeing Sasuke pleasuring himself. God, that right there, Naruto would never get over. He didn't even know where it came from.

The way Sasuke was so responsive. The way he wiggled and breathed. Naruto could only imagine what Sasuke would be like if it was actually Naruto insid-

"Ok, that's enough of that." Naruto had a blush on his face. It was hand to accept that Naruto was attracted to his best friend. 'Who wouldn't be…' He held his bright red face in his hands.

'Maybe I can just pretend that it never happened. Yeah. that's what I'll do. At least until I figure out what I can do about this.' Naruto sighed.

He then got up and made his way to Tsunade's office. Sunrise or not.

The birds sung happily as Sasuke began to rouse. Last night, after waking up from a wet dream, Sasuke had indulged himself.

Usually, he just took a cold shower, but occasionally, Sasuke would masturbate.

And wow, did it feel great. The Uchiha sat up, wincing slightly. Well, except the dull ache, his muscles were relaxed, and his legs felt like they were pleasantly weighted down. Maybe he should lay down for a while longer.

Sasuke sighed deeply and decided against it. If he wanted to see Naruto this morning, he needed to get up now.

Sasuke felt for his roommate's chakra, and found none. He frowned, 'He isn't here?'

Sasuke stood and walked/limped to Naruto room. There wasn't a note indicating that he had left on a abrupt mission or anything. There were clothes taken out of the drawers, but that was about it.

It hurt, kinda but Sasuke shook it off. Maybe the blond didn't have enough time to leave a note.

The door bell wrung, catching Sasuke's attention.

From the light chakra being willingly emitted from the front door, it was obviously a female.

'Sakura.' The Uchiha was curious as to why she was here. She rarely visited him and Naruto at their apartment, mostly they meet somewhere because of their busy lives. Training grounds, Hokage tower, or usually at some restaurant, but never at one another's house.

And now that Naruto was rooming with Sasuke after some 'wild' rats infested the blond's apartment, Sakura still hardly ever came by.

So here is the deal, Sasuke had been infatuated with Naruto ever since the Chuunin Exams. Simple. He had told Sakura the reason why he wasn't interested in her, and who he was interested in. He had obviously told her after coming back from Orochimaru and a year of probation. They had both matured a lot during that time, so Sakura took it well.

Over the years, Naruto had grown. Just plain grown. He became more mature, taller, sexier, smarter, and a hell of a lot more responsible. All of this and more only made Sasuke feel more things for the blond. His heart pounds when he smiled at Sasuke, and Sasuke caught himself staring at the most weirdest things. Eyes, lips, neck, stomach (especially after they just got done training… or when he came out of the shower), legs, ass, most of all, Naruto's crotch. 'And he looks like he has a nice package.' he fantasized for a bit before sighing.

And Sasuke was perfectly fine with admiring from afar.

When they had grown older, Sasuke had found that they had grown apart. They had their own priorities that they had to worry about, their own lives and occupations. Sasuke was allowed to become an ANBU after his probation period, Sakura work full time at the hospital and still took on missions, and Naruto was a 'special' jounin working under Tsunade-sama. The former Team Seven hardly seen each other in weeks sometimes months at a time.

Naturally Sasuke didn't take it well. At all. He knew that he couldn't cling to Naruto without making the blond uneasy… Naruto hadn't even shown any sign of attraction to the same sex, and all Sasuke wanted to do was stay close to the blond. Matter of fact, Naruto hadn't shown any interest in anyone. What could he do?

So he came up with the insidious plot of breeding rats and setting them lose in Naruto's apartment. Brilliant, eh?

It had only taken two months to breed and raise three hundred of those little bastards and successfully infiltrated them into Naruto's apartment, unnoticed. Then, when Team Seven arranged and met up for their usual lunch, Naruto would complaining about the rat problem, and Sasuke would 'selflessly' offered Naruto a place to stay.

Looking back on it, it wasn't the best and most honest thing Sasuke had ever done, but he was desperate at the time and was very happy with the end results. Seeing Naruto every day was way better than learning a new jutsu. It was exhilarating, it lightened his steps, and being around Naruto, overall, made his day so much better.

Sasuke opened his front door, Sakura speaking first. "Ohayo Sasuke-kun. How are you doing?" She smiled sweetly, tilting her head cutely to the side. 'Something's up.'

"I'm doing fine." Sasuke motioned to his clothes. "I just woke up. What brings you here?"

His only response was a shrug.

The two made their way to the kitchen and quietly sat at the table when the rosette finally asked, "Is Naruto here?"

Sasuke frowned. Something was definitely up. If she was looking for Naruto, then she would've check if his chakra was here… just like he had when he had woken up.

"Something wrong?" Sasuke cut to the chase.

"I was going to asked the same thing." She matched Sasuke's frown. "Naruto paid me a visit around three last night."

"Three?" It sounded absurd! Why would the dobe be out and about at that time of night?

"Yup. I could tell that there was something wrong, but he said he couldn't tell me yet." Sakura explained, making Sasuke worry even more. 'Well, at least I know he isn't on a mission… but still, why would Naruto get up at three in the morning and stay over at Sakura's house? What would be wrong with him staying here?'

The rosette saw her teammates as brothers. Brothers that needed to be cared for because of the lack of family. Especially Naruto. When Sasuke was gone, the two had grown especially close. Sakura had always stressed to them, that if they needed anything, she'd help them out.

So, she was naturally worried when Naruto appeared outside of her window. Whatever was bothering Naruto was something big. And even when she laid the futon down on the floor, Naruto tossed and turned all night, until he left a couple of hours later.

"I had thought that you two had gotten into one of those fights, since he came from here. He was still wearing his night clothes, when I let him in. But since you don't know what's wron-" That was all Sasuke heard.

Naruto had left their own home to go to Sakura's, the same night Sasuke… indulged himself.

'He saw… or at least heard me.' Sasuke's eyes widened. It was the only thing that would explain it. What other reason would there be?! 'Fuck, and I even said Naruto's name!'

"Maybe he had a weird nightmare- Sasuke? Hey, what's wrong?!" She saw the look of fear and horror on his face. She had never seen such an expression on the Uchiha.

Sasuke took a calming breath, 'Calm down… there is no way to sugar coat it, but Naruto saw me. There isn't anything I can do about that part, but there is something I can do about what happens next.' The thought alone was embarrassing as hell. The person he had longed for his whole life had seen him in his most intimate moment. Sasuke mentally shook it off, before setting a determine look on his face. He needed to set some things straight with Naruto before he came to something absurd. They needed to talk.

The rosette watch Sasuke abruptly stand and leave the kitchen, "Show yourself out Sakura. I'm going to find Naruto."

"…is there something wrong?" Tsunade's amber eyes were laced with worry.

'Sometimes its scary when she does that.' Naruto smiled, or at least tried to. The Godaime always had a way of reading him like no other. "Its nothing, baa-chan. I just would like a mission, you know? I need something to take my mind off of… something." he said, deluding.

The Hokage didn't like that answer, "You want to talk about it? I'm told I'm a very good listener." She leaned forward, trying to get something, anything out of him. If there was something wrong with her successor, then she wanted to be the first to know about it.

Naruto's blue eyes soften, "Thanks baa-chan, but… could I get a mission?"

The two sat in a long heavy silence, Tsunade trying to think of a way out of giving in, and Naruto trying to stand strong against the hard gaze.

Then a sigh, taking a scroll from her desk, the sannin wrote a brief paragraph. "B-rank." Tsunade handed him a scroll, "Deliver this to the Kazekage and wait for him to give you another scroll. Take your time getting back."

Naruto smiled, "Thanks baa-chan."

He grabbed the scroll, but Tsunade kept it in a firm grip. "I expect something when you get back. And I'm not talking about the Kazekage's return scroll."

The smile didn't fade from the other's face, "Sure."

Tsunade then let go and no later, Naruto teleported out of the office.

Naruto then jumped, roof top to roof top, back to his home. 'Where Sasuke is…' he needed to go home and get some clothes for the trip. Sand was so uncomfortable when it got into your clothes, and could literally rub your skin away.

'It is around nine… I'm sure Sasuke has probably left the house.' Naruto though optimistically. 'But if I do see him, I'll act like nothing has happened. Sasuke is my best friend, I won't lose him over something like this.'

Upon his arrival, Naruto couldn't feel the raven's chakra in the apartment. "Coast is clear." The blond unlocked the door but stopped when it came to opening it.

The blond felt the Uchiha's chakra pulse, resounding all across Konoha. This was something only Team Seven did. When ever the three needed to find the other, they would pulse out three consecutive chakra waves.

There was chakra pulses through out Konoha, so any other ninja wouldn't notice. But the fact that Team Seven's chakra was unique, made it even better for them.

Sakura's chakra was hard but soft to the senses. So when you felt it, it left you feeling warm and fuzzy.

Sasuke's chakra, was solid too; but when it hit you, it left you feeling tingly. Like small little pricks were being made to your skin. It wasn't painful, but it caught your attention.

And Naruto was feeling small pricks all over his body, constantly hitting him from the direction Sasuke was. 'He can wait.' Naruto hurriedly went to his room, packing his things and leaving only in five minutes.

He arrived at the gates, and paused. It was obvious Sasuke was looking for him. Sakura had already answered with her own pulses and yet he still didn't stop.

'Sasuke will probably be mad if I don't answer back.' Naruto bit his lip. 'I'll at least tell him that I'll be away on a mission.'

Naruto took a huge deep sigh, before unmasking his chakra and sending a three pulses. Sasuke had stopped his chakra pulses immediately and started heading his way.

Closer, closer, closer…

He waited, suddenly feeling the urge to fidget.

Suddenly, Sasuke jumped out of a tree and was in visual distance. 'Must act normal.' Naruto waved sheepishly.

Sasuke didn't seem to like this at all. "Why haven't you been answering?"

"Ah" Sasuke's voice, echoed in the room. Naruto panted, thrusting harder into the ravens hot canal, trying earnestly to draw more of Sasuke's sexy responses-

Naruto blinked hard, willing his imagination to stop. "Sorry, I've been kinda busy."

"Where were you this morning?" Sasuke crossed his arms, "Sakura said you left the apartment to go sleep over at her house, in the middle of the night."

'Dammit!' Naruto hadn't expected for Sakura to go over and tell the Uchiha all of this! Oh she was so getting an earful later.

"Uh," Naruto looked away, desperately trying to find something useful to say. "I couldn't go to sleep."

"Don't lie to me." If one hadn't known Sasuke, he would've sounded angry. But to Naruto, Sasuke sounded hurt.

"Really! I couldn't sleep!" Naruto tried earnestly to get Sasuke to believe him, but the Uchiha was having none of it. Those black eyes looked into his and seemed to pick apart his entire being.

"…you saw me… didn't you?" Sasuke looked away, a extremely small blush on his cheeks.

It was a very good thing Sasuke wasn't looking at the blond, cause Naruto's eyes nearly popped out of his head. 'God! Sasuke knows?!'

"…er, what are you talking about?" The blond scratched his head, trying to act natural. Naruto really didn't need this! Dammit! Why did Sasuke have to come and make things difficult! Naruto needed to think, not talk!

Sasuke eyes snapped up, "Don't play stupid, Uzumaki." he took a step closer. "You saw me last night ple-"

"LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA!!" Naruto suddenly yelled covering his hears and closing his eyes. When all else failed, act childishly.

Sasuke launched himself at the blond, pulling his hands away from his ears. He should've known the dobe would do something like this! Naruto may have gotten more mature, but he always had these little bouts of childishness when nothing went his way.

"Dammit Naruto! You saw me pleasuring myself! I know you did! And I know that you heard me sa-"

"Let me go teme!" Naruto tried to yank his hands away. 'Sweet mother of-' blue eyes looked at the pale hands and images of last night flashed uncontrollably in his mind. 'Those were the same hand that were-! I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!'

They looked absolutely ridiculous. Naruto and Sasuke looked like a mother trying to control her child while yanking on their arm.

Suddenly, the ground seemed to come from under Naruto's feet, and slam into his back. Sasuke had kicked his feet from under him, and quickly pinned his wrists.

Sable eyes started down at him, "I don't want you to leave and come to some absurd conclusion, dobe. I'm attracted to you, always have been, probably always will be."

Everything went silent and the birds in the forest were completely oblivious to the small scuffle on the forest floor. The world didn't care what went on in Naruto's life and even seemed to mock him a bit as it kept on turning.

Slowly, Sasuke let go of Naruto's wrists but didn't bother getting up.. Naruto laid there, looking at his with unreadable eyes.

Sasuke's mouth moved on its own, forming words he never thought of saying. "I knew that you would have found out sooner or later Naruto, so I want to say some things before you even have a chance to think."

Naruto kept his mouth shut.

"All I wanted in the beginning was to be near you, I was fine with just that." Sasuke sat up placing all his weight on his legs. "But after a while, I kept wanting more. More, more, and more." Sasuke sat back, knees on either side of Naruto's hips and placed some of his weight on Naruto's outstretched legs. "I know that I don't deserve you after how I treated you when I went to Orochimaru, but I can't help but want to try… so… can you at least give me a chance to show you…" clenching his eyes shut, Sasuke trying to find it in him to continue. "…how much I love you?"

'So,' Naruto sat up on his elbows, tentatively glancing up at Sasuke. 'He does love me.'

Naruto had never seen Sasuke like this. To see the strong and proud Uchiha ask… and dare he say, begging for this?

'There's no way I could…' Naruto slipped out from underneath the raven. Walking over to his travel bag and putting it on.

"Naruto?" Sasuke looked as if he wanted to reach out to him. The look of confusion and anxiousness looked so out of place on the Uchiha's face. Naruto didn't like it at all.

"I-I don't know what to say, Sasuke." Naruto tried to keep his voice controlled.

"You don't have to say anything now." The response was a little too fast, as if Sasuke was afraid that Naruto already had his answer. "I'll wait for your answer until after your mission."

Naruto frowned. "Sasuk-" he stopped and looked, really looked at Sasuke.

The Uchiha had hid it very well, just like he did with all of his emotions, and if Naruto was any other person he probably would have never noticed, but… the raven was trembling. Uchiha Sasuke was actually shaking.

"Ok." Naruto whispered. "I'll be gone for a few days and I'll tell you my answer when I get back from Suna." If it really meant that much to the Uchiha, then Naruto would wait to tell him until after the mission.

Sasuke watched Naruto walk away. There. He had finally done it. He had finally told Naruto how he had felt and was still breathing. Naruto knew about this feelings and until he came back to Konoha, he would give Sasuke the one answer that could decide whether it was friendship or a relationship.

But even if they stayed best friends… it would never be the same. The Uchiha had completely changed everything between them.

Sasuke took a shaky breath. Time was both his enemy and friend at the moment. Time would allow Naruto to come to a decision, for or against, and it would also torture Sasuke until then.

He then walked back to his house.

So, I had a plot bunny attack me in the weirdest place, and I just had to write this out... but I don't know if it is good or not /

So please review :) it'll depend on whether or I'll continue or not!

Sh-love you!