The crib
At the top of the mountains you could see the rain was clearing because the fog was slowly drifting. The sun was pushing through the clouds, shining its rays of light on the villa. It had rained all week. The children had been in school and when they came home, all they could do was play inside. But today it seemed they could enjoy the outdoors again.
Georg sat in his study when he heard one of his children enter.
"Hello." He smiled at his youngest daughter. She climbed on his lap and began to play with the buttons of his jacket.
"What are you doing?" Gretl asked.
"Oh, grownup stuff." The girl turned around to look at the papers on the desk and all she saw were numbers.
"I learned some numbers today. The teacher has a puppet and we have to give him the number 10. If he has a 4 then we have to give, um…" She started counting with her fingers. "…6" She stated proudly.
"That's very good, munchkin." Georg smiled at her.
"Jenna wants to come and see the baby. Can she? She doesn't have any brothers or sisters, but her mommy's got a baby in her belly, just like mother had." Putting her hand on her mouth she looked at him wide eyed. "No, you can't tell anyone! She said it was a secret."
Georg chuckled, "I won't."
"Promise!" She dared him.
Holding up his left hand while putting the other on his chest he said "Promise." Then he began tickling and making her giggle.
"Gretl, did you ask father?" Kurt was standing in the doorway. Father and daughter looked up from their banter.
"Good afternoon, Kurt. Can I help you?" Kurt sighed, walking a bit inside the room.
"Father, may we go outside, please? Gretl came here to ask you, but it took ages. Now they sent me to see if we could." Kurt rolled his eyes at Gretl, to let her know she was the one who was sent with this task. Georg looked out the window. It seemed as if the rain had disappeared. He put Gretl down as he stood up.
"Yes, you may." He heard yelling in the hall. "It seems you've all been cooped up inside too long." He chuckled, taking Gretl's hand as they walked to the rest of the children. He told the older children to keep an eye on the little ones. Before Liesl walked to the door, Georg called to her.
"Do you know where your mother is?" He studied the big hall trying to find her, hoping she was with them.
"She is in the nursery. The baby was hungry." Liesl smiled.
"Thank you, and have fun outside. Please be on time for dinner."
Looking at the place where the children just stood, he smiled. Yes, he was blessed. And now Maria had given him another bundle of joy. Three months ago she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Friedrich and Kurt were ecstatic that there was another male in the family.
He pushed the door trying to make no sound. Peeking his head inside, he was surprised to find an empty rocking chair. Walking into the room he saw the baby laying peacefully in his crib. Caressing his son's cheek his mind took him back to the day Maria found the picture of the crib.
"Here you are! I've been looking for you all over. The children are in school." He found her disarranging the boxes in the attic.
"Was there something you wanted?" Maria didn't look up while moving some off the boxes.
Georg chuckled. "You said the very same thing one year ago." Maria looked up while wiping her brow looking puzzled.
Georg continued "I wanted to ask you if you would do me the honour of having dinner with me tonight, just the two of us." Cleaning her hands on her apron she looked puzzled. Georg walked towards her, "A year ago you agreed to be my wife, I want to celebrate that day." He kissed her softly.
"I remember, but I didn't think you remembered it too." She blushed, looking down at her hands.
"Never," he said, tilting her chin with one of his fingers. "So what do you say? Just the two of us." He kissed her deeply. Maria moaned against his lips.
"Not exactly two," she replied, rubbing her belly.
"Well this little one still has two months left before he can interrupt us." Georg placed his hands on top of hers.
"I'd be delighted to join you." Maria broke the moment. "But first I need to sort out these boxes. I found lots of clothes and toys we could use".
"I'll help you," he offered, kissing her cheek. He went to work by lifting the boxes she pointed out so he could take them downstairs. Walking up one last time he heard Maria call his name.
"Georg! Oh, it's beautiful! Who's was it?" Georg looked closer at the picture she was holding. He swallowed as he saw the picture, him kneeling beside a crib.
"All of them. Agatha bought it when she was pregnant with Liesl." He whispered.
"It's lovely, do you still have it?" Maria looked around the attic. George nodded, "Somewhere."
"Do you mind if we use it one more time?" She studied his face, tears had formed in the corners of his eyes. Rushing toward him she hugged him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know…I just thought…"
George interrupted, "I don't think it's a good idea." With that he walked away. Maria took another look at the picture. She needed to talk to her husband.
Running after him she found him in their bedroom, sitting on the bed hunched over, his hands running through his hair. Not sure how to react, she sat down on the bed beside him. Waiting. Giving him time, she wasn't sure he wanted to share his feelings. The clock kept ticking and time seemed to go slower. Maria didn't mind. She sat beside him, letting him know she was there if he was ready.
Tick, tick, tick, tick….
"Gretl turned one. Agatha had been sick for months. She hated being locked in the bedroom not helping with the children. She talked to them, read stories, and sometimes the kids would crawl in bed with her and fall asleep. One day without us knowing Gretl walked into our room. She had climbed out of her crib. Reaching for her momma, it seemed as if she could tell Agatha had gotten worse. They cuddled and the next morning we decided it was time to put Gretl in a big girl bed. It took me a few days to put it up. During those days Gretl slept between us. She loved putting her little feet in my back. A few days later her bed was finished. Georg took a moment of silence.
I don't know where she got the strength but somehow Agatha managed to put Gretl in her new bed. She read and sang to her while I put the crib in the attic. I knew she would be the last one to sleep in it. I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away. All my children were put in that crib the day they were born. That night Agathe died."
The clock seemed to tick louder.
Tears rolled down Maria's cheeks. She couldn't speak.
Tick, tick, tick, tick…..
Georg didn't dare to look at Maria. He never told this to anyone.
Tick, tick, tick, tick…..
Maria wiped away her tears. Kneeling down before him she put her hands on his cheeks. Looking into his eyes she saw all his emotions. She felt them. Her heart ached.
"I'm sorry." Her forehead touched his, and tears came flooding down. Both of them cried for a while.
He kissed her hands as he got up and walked to the window. He tried to control his breathing. "I'm sorry Maria. No one knew this, no one." He whispered the last two words.
Maria stood up from the floor. She wondered if she should approach him, if he expected her to say something. How could she? This was so much to take in. Staring at her hands, she let out a big sigh. Maybe she should give him some time alone. No, she thought, she had to stay. He just poured his heart out to her.
Georg turned to look at her, lost in his thoughts. Her hands were around her belly, their child. Walking to her he held her as close as possible and whispered, "I'm so sorry."
She clung to him as if her life depended on it.
"I understand if you don't want to use the crib again. We'll make new memories. It's alright."
"Lay with me?" She nodded. Both were exhausted after this emotional journey. Guiding her to their bed he lay down while she crawled in beside him, her head resting in the crook of his arm. She fit perfectly. After a few minutes both fell asleep.
Georg was the first to awaken. Seeing her hands protectively holding her stomach, he made a decision.
"Darling, wake up." He saw her eyes flutter open, staring into his. He slowly kissed her eyelids. "I saw you laying here, and I realized we should use the crib. We can paint it a new colour and I'm positive you can make new bedding for it." He gave her a hesitant smile.
Maria's eyes grew wide.
"Are you sure? Wouldn't it be too painful? I really don't mind buying a new one." George shook his head.
"No, our child should sleep in the crib where his brothers and sisters started their life, too. It's as you said, we'll make new memories only we will use something very precious to my heart."
He looked down at his son again. He needed to find Maria. Walking to their bedroom he saw her standing at the window. She didn't heard him come in. Was she crying? He hurried toward her.
"Darling, what's wrong?" He looked outside and saw the children running around.
"It's not fair." She whispered. "She never got to see Gretl walk. She should have been there. She should have kissed Martha's knee when she fell of her bike, talked to Brigitta about all the books she loves. She should have told Kurt he shouldn't eat another cookie. And Louisa needs her to tell her she is special. Friederich would have made her proud! Oh and Liesl, why wasn't she there when Liesl needed someone to talk to her about love? She isn't there for them when they are sad or heartbroken. She can't see them graduate, she won't be there at their wedding. It's not fair Georg. Agatha should be here!" Maria couldn't hold back her tears. "I'm sorry, so sorry." She whispered. Georg was puzzled. Trying to comfort her he held her close.
"Shhh, it's okay."
"No it isn't." She looked up in his eyes.
"Can you tell me what made you think this?" He held her face with two hands.
She sighed.
"While I was nursing the baby I heard the children laughing and saw the crib.
It made me think of Agatha and how she never got to experience the things I am with them." Wiping away a few tears she continued.
"I can't imagine how she felt, knowing she was spending her last days with her children. Knowing she could never hold them again, read to them, kiss them goodnight. It breaks my heart."
Georg was speechless. Oh how he loved this woman in his arms. She loved him and his children. He didn't deserve her.
Kissing her forehead he said "My love, come sit." She followed him to the chairs in front of the window. "Agatha was the greatest mother to those children. She spent every moment she could with them. It was her time, but yes, I agree with you. It isn't fair for a mother to be taken away. But I know she enjoyed and treasured every moment with them to the last minute. Maria look at me. It's you who they come to when they are hurt, it's you who kisses them goodnight, and it's you when they need someone to talk to. Please darling, I'm not sure if it was God but someone led you to them and me. Maybe it was Agatha. I don't know. All I know is that you're their Mother now. And they love you with all their hearts."
Agatha and I made great memories. I know the little ones don't remember her. But now it's our time. It is you, me and the children who are making the new ones."
He looked into her eyes. Kissing her softly, promising they both would be there for their children's future.
I've written this story with the encouragement of the ladies of the Proboard. Thanks Ladies!
It was written for the writing prompts of February. The challenge was; Someone finds an old photograph.