Okay, this just tempted me. I'm going to the Avril Lavigne concert in Arizona so I got the desire to write a songfic. Yes that's right, a songfic. Actually, I guess I'm just in a bit of a melancholy "meh" mood, so I chose this song. The lyrics were reaching out to my emotions so I had to try to write something to help convey them.

Disclaimer: I don't claim any rights to Avril Lavigne's music or to Escaflowne.

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

Watching her day to day… how painful… He knew the history

But what else could he do?

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

It seemed like there was no end… but yet… even something broken can be repaired

She knew he was always there for her. He was always ready to carry her when she could no longer walk for herself. Pick her up when she fell. Be her crying shoulder when it felt like nothing was going right.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

But even he could only do so much… he could never force her to open up to him… Oh how he wished he could. Let he know that there is always someone there for her… that someone was always on her side…

If only she would open her eyes.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah, oh

She never quite fit in with the "in" crowds. But he had always loved that about her. Who would have thought that it had all been nothing but a grand masquerade.

Why couldn't he see everything falling apart around her? If he, had maybe…

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

You can heal a broken heart over time. But how do you heal a broken mind?

How do you mend a broken spirit?

The will….

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

It was too late… It was too late for him to be able to…

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

After only nineteen years…

He had always prayed that she would last longer than him. Even as he heard the priest talking to the small group of people gathered on the fresh cut grass, he could feel his faith slipping.

Maybe this was how she felt for the last six years?

Why now? Why after fighting for six years? Why did she surrender now?

Or… or had she surrendered long ago… years ago when she first brought crimson to the surface…

Stepping forward, Van Fanel placed the fresh red rose in his hands onto the smooth dark wood that was in front of him. Caressing the wood grains Van closed his eyes and imagined that it was her soft cheek under his fingertips.

Opening his eyes again Van stepped back as it was lowered. Biting his lip he tried to hold back his own tears, unlike their mothers.

Van stayed behind as everyone else left the premises. Standing still over the smooth stone Van allowed the tears to flow freely down his cheeks.

"Hitomi Kanzaki

Strong fighter,

Beautiful daughter,

Loving sister,

Best friend and lover.

Dec 9 1990 – Nov 6 2009"