notes: this is written in the same universe as "Elephant Graveyard" and is like an origins oneshot of sorts.
dedication: happy birthday Emily!
hellraiser.
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It's music.
That's what it is, it's music and, oh, how Rei loves the melody. It's rhythmic, melodic, enchanting and beautiful. She's far too small to understand this connection, this absolute love she feels her heart pounding against her ribcage, pumping blood and adrenaline in her veins, under her skin, under her flesh, causing her amethyst eyes to shine and her breathing to go ragged.
It's music.
The fire whips around her, wild and free and Rei has never felt this deep connection—never in her five years of life. She stands in the middle of her bedroom on the first floor of her home, her dolls and teddies and toys all slowly falling one by one like the dancers to the wonderful music playing around them. Everything is hot, everything is burning—everything is on fire and Rei stands barefoot in the middle of her room and watches the fire dance.
Up above she can hear screams and a smile forms on her thin lips. The fire tells her that someone is running down the burning halls, coughing, screaming, crying—Rei, Rei, Rei, Rei—and she giggles a bit because how silly of Mother to think she can even try and run away from the symphony that's soon to devour her.
Fire surrounds her and Rei crouches down, accommodating her nightgown and tilting her head when it catches fire. She pokes at it and grins.
And she pokes at it.
And she pokes at it.
And she watches as it leaves her as naked as a jaybird, the house collapsing around her.
She can hear the sirens in the distance and Rei stands up, walking through walls of flames, unscathed.
The fire is her friend.
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Rei's foster mother is an old hag—the kind of woman that still abides to the old times. A prude in every sense of the word, so stiff and proper and religious. At seven in the morning she demands her children wake up and pray to God and a prayer must be given before every meal in gratitude for such a privilege and heaven forbid if one falls asleep without a last prayer of thank you to God for allowing them another day alive.
Rei, of course, does not believe in anyone that is not there. Who is God, she's asked her foster mother. To which the woman replies with vigor about all that God has done, sending His son to repent for everyone's sin.
But why, Rei asks and her foster mother chuckles, shaking her head and telling Rei she is much too young to understand everything He has sacrificed for them.
"I don't believe in God," Rei tells the woman and she watches with sharp violet eyes as she whirls around and backhands hers.
"God is who saved you from that fire, child!"
Rei holds her swollen cheek and stares at the woman with a blaze in her eyes, thin lips curling in a snarl as she screams, "No God saved me, Mother! The fire saved me—the fire is my friend!"
The woman rounds in on Rei, grabbing her by the crown of her head, twisting her thick dark hair around her fist and dragging her up to her room. Rei digs her fingernails onto the woman's wrists and tries to break free. She's thrown into her room, the curtains drawn and the lights off and Rei refuses to cry as she lies sprawled on the ground, staring at the ceiling and calming her breathing.
"You get no supper tonight," the woman says as she closes the door and locks it from the other side. "And you pray to God that He does not abandon you for your insolence."
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"You should just ignore Mother," Jayden says as they play in the yard.
Rei sits under the sunshine and squints at him as he entertains a wooden car, rolling it back and forth and even making sound effects. She looks at the coloring book that sits abandoned next to her, the red crayon burrowed in the gap in the middle of the book, where the spine is.
"I don't see why we have to listen to what she says," Rei says, softly. "She's not even our real mother."
Jayden turns to her, his blue eyes wide. He pushes some of his blond hair away from his face and looks down at his toy car. "Well, yeah…"
"We'll get out of here," Rei says, staring at the sun and smiling at the heat that burned her eyes. "You and me, okay, Jay?"
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She sits in solitary confinement, her room dark and the sky behind the curtains a shade darker than her eyes. Rei has no qualms about the darkness, she has begun to think that it is her only companion, now that the fire has chosen not to come out and play.
She sits in the middle of her room, fingering the little box of matches in her hands and she trembles—what if the fire has decided to find better friends? Rei sucks in air, sliding the little box open and picking out a single match. She lights it up and tilts her head, inhaling sharply as she stares at the small lick of a flame dancing at the tip of the match.
The tiny piece of wood begins to burn away and it isn't long before the intense heat of the fire reaches the tip of her thumb and forefinger, but Rei doesn't feel it. She smiles as it burns onto her flesh and she giggles at its sweet caress. And just like that it disappears and Rei blinks her violet eyes, shakily juggling the box of matches and lighting up a new one.
"I'm sorry," she whispers and there's a rumble in her chest that echoes down to her stomach. "I'm sorry."
She blinks her eyes and brings the fire close to her face. It kisses the surface of her lips before she swallows it whole.
"Are you praying for forgiveness, Rei?" she hears Mother ask from the other side of the door. "If you're being a good girl, I'll even save you some supper."
"Yes Mother," Rei replies, lighting up a new fire and smiling. "I'm praying."
"Oh good," Mother coos, "I'll go bring you a nice plate of—"
"I'm not hungry, Mother," Rei says and slurps the fire, smiling and breathing out smoke through her nostrils.
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Jayden leaves the foster home when everything between his real family is fixed.
Rei watches him as he drives away and let's go of the curtain to block her from view, ignoring his wave of goodbye.
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Rei is thirteen when she begins to have dreams she has no power to explain even to herself.
It's of an entirely different planet where the sky is always a murky red and the soil looks like clots of blood. She rides a horse, dressed in armor, her hair long and dancing behind her like black fire. Everyone calls her Princess and she smiles with maroon colored lips and a glint in her amethyst eyes that she knows everything.
Everything.
She lives in a castle, in these dreams, and her bedroom has a waterfall of molten lava that she caresses whenever she's pensive and dancing around her room with little to no care for the outside world. And she looks beautiful wearing different shades of red and gold and purple, layers of sheer skirts and bustiers made of satin, thick gold necklaces resting against her chest, nails glossy and red—she's beautiful.
When she wakes up, after these dreams, there's always something lit on fire but the flames are tamed, waiting for her to regain consciousness and put it out with a mere wave of her hand.
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Rei sits on her bed, waving a hand and laughing as the fire that burns her pillow follows her movements. She spells her name, spells the word Mars and—
She hears the door click shut and Rei looks up, willing the fire to disappear, her eyes trained on the door.
No one is there.
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"Rei."
She looks up from her homework at the old woman. Mother has been aging, shrinking just as Rei has been growing taller, her limbs slender with soft curves and the right amount of everything, cupid's bow alluring as is her smile and her eyes. Rei tilts her head and waits for the woman to speak, twirling her pen in her fingers.
"Rei, I have found…I found those curtains I told you were missing," says the woman and she stares at her with cold brown eyes. "Under your bed, Rei—burnt to a crisp! What is all this, you insolent girl?!"
Rei looks down at the pillow, the curtains, the bed sheets, the shirt and the piece of wood that is all that is left of her nightstand.
"Why are you going through my things?" she asks, tucking strands of hair behind her ear.
"Witch," Mother whispers, pointing a shaky accusing finger at her. "You're a witch! I saw what you were doing last night, Rei! You're a witch!"
"Mother—"
The woman shakes her head, "I cannot—I won't have you here any longer, Rei. I have done all I can to have God cleanse your sins but you… I can't have you here—I will not house a witch!"
The doors burst open, then, and men in white step in, grabbing Rei by her arms and leading her away to a van. Rei fights against her restraints, lips curled and teeth gritted. But the men are strong and once one manages to inject his poison into her bloodstream, she is sedated and she slumps against them, eyes rolling back as they place her into the van.
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Rei sits in her cell and hums, fingers twitching, eyes dry, throat constricted and with a funny taste in her mouth.
She's always drugged, in here, being given medicine and pills she doesn't think she needs and there's a special nurse named Beryl that keeps an eye on her for Mother. She laughs at her and runs sharp nails up and down Rei's jawline, taunting her and whispering witch.
There is no fire near her and Rei feels her veins withering under her flesh and she leans her head back against the rough surface of the wall that confines her and she wants to scream but she won't do it. Rei is fourteen and she has pent up anger from different lifetimes deep within her soul. She has patience.
She has a lot of patience.
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"You can't believe mummy dearest did this to you, can you?" Beryl taunts, leaning against the steel door and staring at her with her ugly eyes. "Heartbroken aren't you?"
Rei doesn't respond and sits on her bed, legs crossed, toes wiggling to remind herself she is alive and soon there will be repentance. She tilts her head, fingers twitching, her hair covering her face and she thinks about her dreams, where she rules the fire, lets it coat her hands like gloves and burns every man and woman that dares defy her.
Beryl walks closer and clutches her face in one hand, squeezes her cheeks. "Let me tell you something Rei."
She stares her in the eye.
"Love is for the weak."
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"Love is for the weak," she repeats.
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She wakes up to her cell burning and the flames untamed, angry, resentful, abandoned.
There's an alarm in the distance and the guards dressed in white come in and snatch her before she is burned alive. But she cannot be burned, the fire is her friend—the fire is her friend—
"The fire is my friend!" she screams as she tries to break loose from their hold, her hair flying everywhere, her itchy shirt riding up and her bare toes hitting against the walls and scraping—bleeding and bruising. Her wild eyes find Beryl and she screams at her to give the order to let her go. "The fire is my friend!"
"This girl," Beryl drawls, walking behind the guards that dragged her away from her burning room, "This girl isn't insane—she is possessed."
"No! No!" Rei stares as other guards kill the fire with fire extinguishers, "No—I'm—no!"
"Call the priest!" Beryl yells and laughs as Rei is taken to a special room, her wrists and ankles tied to the bed posts.
Rei screams, her eyes clenched and her throat growing raw. She feels the strength she'd received upon being so close to the fire begin to dissipate out of her body like steam and her eyes roll back just as a nurse comes in and injects her with a tranquilizer.
"Love is for the weak," she whispers, "I am not weak."
And she's gone.
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Rei comes back with a deep, guttural gasp that arches her back and causes a vein to throb at the side of her throat. She stares at the room, at the candles being lit and she clenches her eyes shut and tries to inhale it all. She's still tied to the bed and there are people around her, a priest, nurses, a doctor, two nuns and Beryl.
She stares at them all with wide, wild violet eyes and she begins to fight against her restraints, the metal biting at her sensitive skin.
"Let me go," she hisses at them as one of the nuns begins to sprinkle Holy Water onto her. "Let me go!"
The Father begins to pray in Latin, harsh as if in battle, his eyes looking up at her through the lenses of his glasses. One of the nuns holds up a rosary and Rei stares at it, stares at her and wonders if this is supposed to hurt her—she isn't crazy, she isn't a demon.
She is fire.
She is fire.
"I am fire," she whispers.
"I am fire."
"I am fire."
"I am fire."
"I AM FIRE," she screams, arching her back and glaring at them all. "I AM FIRE—I AM FIRE!"
The flames of the candles grow wild, melting the wax and setting aflame the surfaces where they rest. Everyone looks around and panics, turning back to her and willing the priest to continue his exorcism but Rei screams and screams and stares at Beryl with rage.
Rei feels her veins melt under her flesh—her entire body is on fire and she screams, her throat raw and aching. Her eyes roll back and sweat coats her like second skin. The fire around them cannot be put out and the flames dance their way to Rei, climbing up the bed and devouring her alive.
She laughs in between her screams and soon she is nothing but a mass of fire on the bed.
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There is an explosion.
It is music.
It is a symphony.
She sits up from the bed, the metal tying her to the bed melting away. The building is on fire, the flames furious and unwilling to stop. She stands up from the bed and stares at the men and women on the ground, burning alive—unconscious but alive. The smoke is thick and heavy and she inhales it all and smiles as she steps outside the room.
There is another explosion.
It is music.
A symphony, the flames the dancers, the crackle the tempo, the screams of the dying people within the clinic are the rhythm, and she's the composer.
The roof begins to give in and soon there is nothing left of the building but a mass of flames. Sirens begin to sing in the background and she tilts her head back, her arms spreading at her side, palms open, eyes closed and a smile on her lips.
She walks through the immense inferno, the flames licking her flesh with adoration.
The fire is her friend.
"Hello," she murmurs as help comes to save the day. They're a little too late.
She laughs.
The fire is her friend.