Invictus
by Little Baldwin
Hello, all my crazy brethren out in fanfictionland. Real author's notes, if indeed I have any, will follow the chapter. However, I feel it is only right to warn you beforehand: this story was my project for NaNoWriMo 2007 (National Novel Writing Month). The trick is to write 50,000 words in thirty days. Facing down logic or good sense, I succeeded, and this sprawling epic of a tale is what came out of it. While it is indeed a fanfiction in all literal sense, it was not written like an ordinary one, and therefore the chapter breaks may be in odd or anti-climactic places. You'll have to deal with that. :P
I would like to cleverly remark on the paradox of providing a disclaimer for a work posted on a site with the word Fanfiction in the title, but as I'm not feeling particularly clever, I'll just say that I don't own Ranma. Chumps.
Part One – Accidentally in Love
Resting her body against her folded arms, a Japanese girl stood leaning against the fence in her front yard, taking in the sights of her hometown, Nerima. From her vantage point she could see a storm gathering on the horizon, an hour away, maybe. That would mean rain. Her stomach sank in sympathy before she grinned a little. It was funny, to think that it would have been so very normal to be disheartened by rain, if she had been an average girl.
Akane Tendou was not an average girl.
She lifted her head and closed her eyes, letting the breeze blow past her head. In her childhood, when she had been more willing to let her imagination run away with her, she would pretend that by closing her eyes and giving herself up to the wind, it would carry away her worries with the current. Of course, those were the kinds of thoughts she barely allowed herself to entertain anymore, much less speak aloud. With her final years of education drawing near and responsibilities looming in the not-too-distant-future, Akane no longer believed that unadulterated childish abandon was all that important.
Not to mention she'd be mocked to hell and back for sure for saying something that dreamy and ridiculous.
Of course, it had never really worked, even when she was young, but somehow it still managed to fill her with a sense of peace, the wind flowing through her hair like a gentle caress.
'Maybe this is why I keep it short,' she mused idly, running her hand through her hair. You just didn't get that light, fluttering feeling when it was long.
It had been a few weeks since Akane had returned from Phoenix Mountain, and in general she had to admit that things had been much better around the homestead. Not that there had been any real decrease in the amount of crazy that permeated Akane's life, but near death experiences tend to provide a new perspective on things. Near death experiences, and professions of love - no matter how grudging. Then again, one couldn't really ask more of someone like him. If he went around spouting romantic declarations like Shakespeare on crack, he wouldn't be Ranma.
Ranma. She closed her eyes and buried her face into her arms as his name echoed in her mind.
'Oh, yes, Akane, totally healthy reaction to anyone. Not at all pathetic,' her mind snapped. Despite her bristling pride, Akane didn't look up. Outward appearances aside, she had more than a slight inkling as to how she felt about him. She'd had her suspicions before, but after the trials met on Phoenix Mountain, she'd grown almost painfully self-aware.
Lately, Akane had found her eyes traitorously glancing up at Ranma as he'd walked along the fence beside her on the way to school, wondering exactly how he'd come to any sort of sentimental feelings towards her. She tried not to think these things, though, because those were dangerous thoughts.
Dangerous thoughts she couldn't keep from thinking.
Was it love at first sight, or had it grown with time? What did he like best about her? She inadvertently passed time musing like this, when she was bored in class or riding the bus into downtown Tokyo on an errand for Kasumi. Did he really think she was too much of a tomboy? Could it really bother him, if he was a martial artist, too?
More troubling was the way she found herself tongue tied lately whenever he was nearby. But there was more to it than that. Something was different, after their almost-wedding and her almost-death. A shifting of boundaries, a new sense of each other… a subconscious something that made Akane slightly nervous every time he got too close. It was almost like a feeling of vertigo; her stomach seemed to flip over when he brushed against her accidentally, when he smiled that easy, crooked smile of his. It seemed like she couldn't meet his gaze anymore without forgetting to breathe. And somehow, beneath the tumult of her thoughts, she was sure he could feel the difference, too.
But Akane cast those memories from her mind as she contemplated her real reason for being out here. If she was honest with herself, the excuse she'd given Nabiki about needing fresh air was thinner than rice paper. She was spending less time watching the approaching storm and more searching the streets for the man she was supposed to marry.
They'd fought.
Not seriously, of course. They'd ever only had a handful of fights she considered serious, all bickering and teasing aside. Spring semester had ended, which meant that today had been the last day of school. Tomorrow was the beginning of a short break, after which they would begin anew, this time as Upperclassmen. Akane and Ranma had been walking home together. Looking back as far as she could, she realized that it was sort of telling: the way they'd always walked together, even when they were angry, even when they claimed to have no feelings for each other.
They had been on their way to the Tendou residence in enormously high spirits. Akane kept laughing and grinning for no reason, casting her now empty book satchel into the air at intervals. Ranma was practically skipping along the top of the chain link fence, his impeccable balance keeping him from even the slightest thought of harm.
"You do realize," he said blithely, the creaking of the fence betraying his leap as he grabbed her book bag from midair and landed beside her, "that we're juniors now."
Taking the proffered bag, Akane grinned unabashedly up at him. "And people will have to refer to us as sempai, and treat us with respect."
"Respect we totally deserve," Ranma added.
"Oh, absolutely." Akane briefly reflected that he was walking beside her instead of his usual perch, and her body thrilled despite her. "And we're done with all the entrance exams, and tests, and everything!"
Ranma groaned. "I can't believe I actually passed. I don't really see the point in taking them anyway," he added with a pout. "Martial artists don't really need all this school, you know."
"Oh, well!" Akane interrupted with unusual energy, taking Ranma by surprise. "We're done, anyway. And we don't have to think about school for ages."
"A week is not ages," Ranma cut in. "Hiroshi says that in America, kids get three whole months off for summer. Three months!"
"Well, their school years are shorter. They end in summer, and start again in fall…" Akane trailed off, not quite sure where she was going with the thought. She was actually kind of preoccupied with the hazy, pleased look on Ranma's face. She hadn't seen him so upbeat since before… before Phoenix Mountain, probably. The disjointed happiness really suited him.
"Can you imagine," he said, breaking her from her reverie, "all that free time?"
"I don't know what I'd do with myself," she mused, smiling once again. "Probably take lessons to pass the time. Yes, Ranma, lessons," she said resolutely, seeing the look on is face. "Not school ones, though. I read somewhere that high schoolers do a lot of dancing in America… learning how to swing dance might be fun..."
"What, a tomboy like you?" Ranma teased, his mouth stretching up into a lazy grin.
All at once, the mood shifted. Akane had stopped and glared at him, a frown marring her otherwise delicate face. "And what's that supposed to mean?"
Surprise flashed across his face, before a more sullen look took its place. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice low, all traces of amusement gone. "I was just joking around."
"Yeah, okay," Akane said stiffly. Well, that was something, wasn't it? He apologized. Ranma turned his head and put his hand behind his neck, a gesture that somehow conveyed great annoyance without any words. Ranma was really that way – he wasn't very good with words, but he made up for it with incredible body language and an uncanny way of communicating without having to say anything at all. Probably something that had to do with his very physical lifestyle, she guessed.
After a moment of strained silence, the two of them frozen in an awkward limbo, he had looked over at her, uncharacteristic solemnity in his gaze as he stared at her. She'd felt suddenly unable to speak, looking into his eyes as she was.
"Damn, Akane," he had said, finally glancing away and giving the tiniest of sighs before jumping back onto the fence, "would it kill you to just… laugh, once in a while?"
Shocked, Akane had done little more than stare wordlessly at his back as he started off once more in the direction of their home.
Akane wasn't sure whether Ranma ever actually arrived at the Tendou dojo; in any case, he wasn't there when she got back. And while Akane had pretended she wasn't thinking about it, pretended she wasn't worried, pretended that she was only looking outside for signs of rain instead of signs of footsteps, she had eventually given up and come outside. Glancing up and down the street, Akane grimaced. If asked, she couldn't have said why it bothered her so much. But it did.
It wasn't fair, not really. Akane did laugh, she knew she did. She was a generally happy person, and loved to smile as much as the next person. Maybe she didn't have Kasumi's talent for the kind, beatific gleam, but she knew she was a genuinely friendly person.
That wasn't what Ranma had meant, though, and Akane knew it. Akane knew that he was talking about the sense of humor that she often forewent for violence. Teasing. Akane just didn't take teasing well. She'd always envied people that could take a jibe and laugh about it. Ranma was one of those people. He didn't want her to laugh, so much as to laugh it off.
Sadly, it was true – Akane had serious troubles taking an insult full on in the face and grinning about it. Or even just mustering a bland, "Shut up." There was nothing bland about it, to her: being insulted made her furious. It made her feel foolish, insecure, and above all indignant, so she lashed out. And when words failed her, her fists never did.
She had difficulty differentiating friendly banter from an all-out attack. And with Ranma, the difficulty was even worse, because she was already facing, in him, everything that could possibly threaten her ego. He was stronger, faster, more graceful, more physically talented. Add the fact that they had been for so long trapped into an unwitting (if not entirely unwanted) engagement, and that he was pretty much the most gorgeous guy in Nerima to boot, and Akane found that she couldn't really deal with the provocations, from him of all people. It was just really hard for her to take a joke.
His voice echoed in her head. The frustration. The disappointment. 'Would it kill you to just… laugh?'
The humiliation that swelled up in her at his words was terrible, but her consequent shame at her actions was practically intolerable. Their relationship was bound to be difficult – they were both stubborn and jealous; they were both more than a little violent. There were parents forcing them from every angle and vicious suitors knocking down their doors.
'Why does every moment have to be so hard?' she thought glumly.
The thing was, Akane knew that she needed to get over it. Ranma really was a carefree sort of person, all the drama aside, and though he loved egging her on, that afternoon had been evidence enough that he was disappointed by the fact that they really couldn't banter without her feelings getting hurt. And she couldn't bring herself to cause Ranma that sort of discomfort. To her dismay, she found that she wanted him to be happy.
'Would it kill you to just… laugh?'
'No, Ranma,' she thought, pushing off from the fence when she heard the front door open behind her, a sense of resolve taking over her. 'No, it wouldn't kill me.'
"Akane?" Kasumi's voice rang out behind her, and Akane turned around, already starting to smile. Kasumi just had that effect on people.
"Yeah, Kasumi?"
"You really ought to come in. It looks like rain, and we'll be having supper shortly anyway." Kasumi stared at her for a moment before smiling sweetly, something that didn't go unnoticed by her little sister. Akane wondered briefly what Kasumi had seen in her expression. Were her emotions written across it for everyone to read?
'I wouldn't doubt it,' Akane thought dryly, following her sister back into the house.
- - -
Ranma Saotome darted from rooftop to rooftop, grumbling idly to himself. The remarkable ease with which he traveled, his superhuman ability to maneuver in ridiculous ways, went completely unnoticed by him.
'Why does she have to get her feelings hurt about everything?' Ranma grumbled to himself. It wasn't like he'd set out to hurt her. He was just playing around; that's what friends do. But Akane had some sort of proverbial stick up her ass about these things sometimes. 'She didn't have to be such a girl about it.'
Yet if Ranma was completely honest with himself, he knew he was already feeling the tiniest bit guilty about the whole thing. He really didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything. And it had been going so well, up till then. They'd been talking about nothing in particular, smiling and laughing, and he was just starting to think about how he hadn't seen her smile that freely in so long, when…
He sighed and dropped to the sidewalk. He knew she wasn't all that mad, because she hadn't smacked him around. So maybe he could just go home, and… what? Apologize? He'd already done that. And he really didn't feel like going home right now. Angrily, he balled his hand into a fist. He hated how tenuous their relationship was.
The distant sound of rumbling thunder made Ranma look up. He could see clouds forming, not too far away. Of course, the one day he didn't feel like going home, he had to seek out shelter. He considered the evils of his situation.
Well, there was home. Akane was there, and he didn't really feel like facing that situation right now. Then again, he never really liked to be far from her for long; she got into way too much trouble without him. He could go to Ucchan's, but a visit to the restaurant could seriously provoke the awkwardness between him and Akane. Doubly so for the Nekohanten – somehow he doubted that Akane would be all too pleased to find out he'd turned away from her and into Shampoo's arms. School was closed, the park didn't really have any shelter, and there were no stores he needed or wanted to visit…
Looked like home after all. He spun in place and took off in the direction of the Tendou dojo. Ranma wasn't really much for milling around, at least in a physical sense. As soon as he made up his mind to go somewhere, he was gone. Emotionally, on the other hand… well, let's just say that Ranma Saotome had a few unresolved issues in his emotional store. He could definitely waffle with the best of them.
Turning the corner at the end of the block, Ranma slowed to a walk. Akane was leaning on the fence on the perimeter of the Tendou property. Ranma took a moment to study her as she was looking down the street in the other direction. He was glad to note that her form lacked the stiffness of anger or slump of depression. That was good news for him at least. At the sound of Kasumi's voice Akane pushed back from the fence and turned, her blue-black hair glinting in the late evening sun. Ranma watched speculatively as a gentle smile broke over her face.
'She should do that more,' Ranma thought, his heart beating a little erratically. 'Smiling… really suits her.'
As she went into the house, Ranma sat against the fence, figuring he'd wait a few minutes before entering. It might seem odd to come in right after her, and for some reason Ranma couldn't bring himself to do it. He wouldn't want to look like he was following her, or anything.
Akane was entirely too follow-able; that was the problem. He spent half his energy in a day beating other men away with a stick. Occasionally he might pretend that he couldn't see the appeal, but Ranma had eyes in his head and blood in his veins, and like every man she passed by, both forces were drawn inexorably towards her.
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wooden planks. He would go back inside in a minute. He knew he would. He really had no choice.
Not where Akane was concerned.
- - -
Dripping wet and suddenly curvaceous, Ranma came through the doorway and stepped out of his shoes.
"Oh, there you are, Ranma-kun! I was so hoping you'd make it back before it started to rain!" Kasumi's concerned face peeked from around the kitchen doorway. "Why don't you come in here? I started a kettle a few minutes ago."
"Thanks, Kasumi-san," Ranma responded with relief, his voice octaves higher than he might have wished. He hadn't meant to fall asleep leaning against the fence; late night exam-crunching and general stress must have caught up with him. He wandered into the kitchen, a little embarrassed at being woken up by the rain and his change, and leaned against the counter. "You're a life saver."
"Not at all," she responded, flashing him one of the saintly smiles that won her so much esteem with shopkeepers, city-goers, and zany doctors alike. Kasumi, like most of the Tendou family, accepted his curse with such ease and grace that Ranma almost didn't think about it. How hard must it have been to find yourself tied to a freaky stranger who changed into a chick whenever he was splashed with cold water? Yet they all handled it with good humor, in varying degrees. Looking back, even Akane never seemed to mind – her main qualms had always been with the embarrassing way she had discovered it and their forced engagement.
He was kind of blessed, he realized, to be stuck with the very people who would be most accepting of his Jusenkyou curse.
A tea kettle floated in front of his face, abruptly distracting his thoughts.
"Please take it onto the back porch, Ranma-kun. That way I won't have to mop up again," Kasumi said with another smile.
"Sure thing." Ranma stepped out the back door and made quick work of reversing his form. Kasumi was already holding out a towel for him as he returned; he took it from her with a smile of gratitude. "You're really too good to us, you know."
She waved away his concern. "Are you hungry?"
"Nah. I think I'll just go upstairs and change out of these wet clothes…"
"If you say so," Kasumi said with a small look of disbelief – the idea of a growing boy turning down food always seemed a bit dubious to her.
"Since you're going that way, would you do me a favor and ask Akane if she's hungry? She's in her room," she carelessly tossed over her shoulder as she turned back to the stove. Ranma stopped in his gait and turned to look at her suspiciously, but she just hummed and went about cooking.
"…okay, Kasumi-san." What was he thinking? Kasumi wasn't capable of being conniving.
"Thank you," she replied, an unseen grin stretching across her face that, had she not been Kasumi, might have been called cunning.
No, Kasumi was certainly not conniving. Meddling, on the other hand… well, it's healthy to meddle now and then.
- - -
After a quick change into drier clothing, Ranma stopped in front of Akane's door. He paused, and then berated himself for his womanly indecision and rapped sharply on its wooden frame. "Akane?"
A pause for the length of a somewhat erratic heartbeat.
"Come in."
She was sitting at her desk, a notebook propped open in front of her. Ranma resisted the urge to shuffle his feet shyly. He was a man, after all. "Kasumi wanted to know… if you were hungry."
She shook her head, staring at him with an unreadable expression. "No… I'm not all that hungry today, I don't think."
"Me either," Ranma agreed, silently taking in her room – for the millionth time – as he tried to find something to say. Truth to be told, he had no idea what he wanted to say to her – he'd already apologized, so that wasn't it. As he battled with his indecision, Akane began to speak.
"Listen, Ranma… I'm sorry."
Ranma's expression of complete shock chafed at Akane's nerve, but she remembered her earlier decision and pressed forward. Calm. Breathe. She stared at her hands, limp on her notebook, and continued. "I think… I know I overreacted. I do that a lot sometimes, and… I'm just sorry." She chanced a peek up at him through her eyelashes. Ranma, sitting down on the edge of her bed, did his best to appear attentive and listening, a far cry from the shock and disbelief that seemed much more natural to him. "There's no reason for me to be so serious all the time. From now on, I'm going to try to joke around more, okay?"
Ranma released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His mind disjointedly put together a few rapid thoughts at once.
One. Akane wasn't angry at him. Or at least, wasn't angry enough to take serious physical action against him.
Two. He needed to say something. Soon. She had phrased it as a question.
Three. She wanted to change the way she handled things.
Four. Which meant she wanted to be able to take a joke.
Five. Which meant she wanted to joke… with him.
Six. Which probably meant she wanted to be closer to him.
Seven. He still hadn't said anything.
Taking a deep breath, Ranma opened his mouth… and nothing came out. What the hell was he supposed to say? He'd left his ability to speak back around revelation number five. He strained his mind, knowing that otherwise he'd come out with one of his snarky, automated responses, and it would ruin everything.
"I… I'd like that."
They sat there, Akane beaming at Ranma, Ranma for his part looking shaken but relieved by the turn of events. That, Ranma knew, was the real reason so many people fell for her. That damned, heart-breaking smile of hers. It made his knees want to give out; it made him want to keep her smiling forever.
But it wasn't just her smile. It was in her careful unassuming manner, the way she walked and held herself. There was a reason she was the most desired girl in Furinkan, and also a reason why she had been the most eligible. Beauty like that was daunting, power like that, charisma like that… Akane was dangerous. You wanted to pin her down in an album and gaze at her. You wanted to have her follow you around and brighten your day. You wanted to drag her close to you and… well, maybe that was just Ranma.
After a few moments Akane stood. "Maybe I am hungry after all."
Ranma followed her out of her room and down the stairs, watching her flounce happily in front of him and wondering at how suddenly his appetite had returned to him, as well.
Author's Notes: Lawlz. So ends the first chapter - or part, as I think "chapter" implies more organization than I have. :P Like I said, this will be a many-chaptered, long, languid thing. More than 50,000 words, people. My intention was really to analyze Ranma and Akane, and put forward momentum into their relationship. But because it's them, it won't be easy. Or quick. Nyah nyah. :P
I'm really looking forward to proofreading and submitting this whole thing. It may not be a work of brilliance, but I had a good time writing it, and a good time in the beta process. Speaking of which, many thanks to my darling betas, Kiwi and Wobbles, without whom, this would be generally lacking. I don't care how good you are - a writer is only as strong as her editors. And mine are like grammatical bodybuilders.
Invictus: Latin; unconquered.
I love the Uh-Oh Oreo.