My mother, the last of my family lies motionless on the ground some feet away and bile rises in my throat as I look at her torn and broken body.
Hot tears fall from my eyes as a sob rips from my throat, "Mom!"
I squeeze my eyes shut and fall to my knees as another sob racks my body, she's surrounded by the two bitters that had attacked and killed her. She had been careless to try and search the house alone, going into unfamiliar territory was a death wish and she should have known better, she should have waited for us. Anger and grief wash over me and threaten to pull me under, but Jacob moves to kneel in front of me his hands on my shoulders holding me like a lifeline to the here and now.
He had killed them, the bitters, smashed their heads in with his barbed wire covered baseball bat but he had been too late to save my mother. Now with him sitting in front of me, I try to focus on my breathing, I need to calm down. "Dispose of all the bodies. No exceptions, Avery that isn't your mother anymore it's a pile of rotting flesh...now burn it or I will." Jacob says and grips my shoulders hard shaking me out of my daze.
I glare up at him, tears still falling freely, "Go to hell." I spit out. He sighs and gets to his feet taking inventory of the contents of the house, stuffing anything we could use into his backpack. I crawl to my mother's body and weep over it and when he stoops over her to free her pack from her corpse I launch myself at him. "Don't touch her!" I scream.
"She is dead Avery. She wouldn't want us to just leave supplies here." Jacob is unnervingly calm and it makes me want to tear his eyes from there sockets.
With all the venom I can muster I say, "Don't pretend to know what she would have wanted!" My tears have dried up, replaced with my anger but I know that he is right, and so I back off and let him remove my mom's gear.
Once he has removed everything useful he drags her body into the houses living room and places her in the center of the massive rug, he ties her feet together and lays her hands in an X across her chest.
When he goes to close her eyes I can't take it anymore, "Wait." I say and go to Jacob's side to kneel next to my dead mothers head, "Let me."
Jacob stands slowly and steps back to give me space, I can feel tears coming and I fight to keep them at bay. "M-mom," My voice shakes with emotion and I take several breaths before I try again.
"Mom, I..." I struggle to find words as memories flood my thoughts, my mother looking younger pushing me in a swing and laughing, her making me a blue cake with one extra candle every year on my birthday. We would lay on the couch tangled together watching cartoons as my little brother played on the floor and dad made breakfast. She would braid my long black hair back and fix my hurts and her favorite flower was the lily and she, she was dead.
I have felt pain before when I lost my dad when I lost my baby brother when the world went to hell and neighbor turned on neighbor, when the sirens sounded and the world drowned in blood. I'm no stranger to pain but this, this was a new breed and it was crippling. I looked at my mother now lying beneath me, at the blood that splattered across her olive skin, her black hair tinted red. One bitter had ripped her throat out while the other dug into her stomach, her insides becoming her outsides, she was dead and there would be no coming back from this, at least she wouldn't be coming back as my mother.
Taking a shuddering breath I set my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, "You can rest now mom, you don't have to worry about me anymore. Say hi to dad and Josh for me tell them I miss them and that I'll be home soon." I lift my brow from hers and kiss her on each cheek before closing her eyes with my fingers.
"Avery.." Jacob is gentle as he moves to stand next to me "We have to go now, it's almost dark and we need to finish this." He tries to take my arm to help me stand but I jerk away from him.
"Don't touch me." I scold as I stand and walk for the front door, I don't look back.