Oh No, Not the Sniffles!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does…may she rest in peace. –random member of JKR fan club- She's not dead! –me- oh. My bad.

A/N: Slight AU, Harry is in seventh year but he still goes to school.

Summary: Severus Snape has a cold. Harry Potter intends to take advantage. After all, it's impossible to be intimidating with a cherry for a nose. Snarry, slash.

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Normally, Potions class for any year, any house in Hogwarts is dead quiet. Snape does that to his students. Today, you could hear stifled giggles emanating from the dungeons. The sound was so unsettling that many passersby sought a Soothing Potion from Poppy Pomfrey. Snape with a hanky will do that to his students.

He glared at the unfortunate class of seventh years, despising them and despising himself for looking so foolish in front of the idiots. Reputations. Years to build, seconds to destroy. His was falling down around his buzzing ears and stuffy sinuses, and there wasn't a thing the silky-haired (hear me? Silky! Not greasy, SILKY!) Potions master could do.

Harry Potter was having the time of his life. His love object, the broody, moody, indomitable Severus of the Dungeons had never looked more adorable! The little sniffles he gave, trying to pass them off as condescending sniffs of disdain, the ripe tomato nose, the cotton hanky in (surprise, surprise!) a pale hue of green…Harry couldn't help it. The comments were begging to be spoken, and who was he to deny their wish?

So when Severus squinted at Neville threateningly, the cheeky Gryffindor had to say it. "Death glares don't work so well with watery eyes, do they Professor?"

The would-be death glare was turned on him, and whereas normally it would've given him an erection and made him want to melt into a puddle of goo, today it made him want to squeal like a little girl over a particularly cute puppy with a pink bow on it's head and a sign tied around its neck saying 'kiss me'.

…Except, puppies didn't give him an erection, and this new, adorable version of Snape most definitely did.

Damn hormones.

"Detention, Potter!"

"Way to go, mate," Ron gave him the thumbs-up sign, and Hermione whacked him. "Stop being sarcastic!" she snapped.

"I'm not being sarcastic," the ginger headed boy groused, rubbing his shoulder, "He can take the opportunity to seduce him!"

"…"

"What? I thought it was a good idea!"

"Because nothing says 'sleep with me!' like pickling newts," Harry quipped, walking away.

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"Get to work," Snape sneezed into his hanky. Harry fought the urge to jump him and nodded, making his way to the waiting jar of goop.

Severus closed his eyes with a sigh, propping his face up in his palms, sitting at his desk.

"Professor, did you know you have a cherry on your nose?"

The man twitched, opened an eye to shoot the boy a dirty look, and closed it again. Harry cooed over the motion on the inside. Pickling newts was so much more fun when you were goading your too-sexy teacher.

"Have you taken any medication, sir?"

"Shut up, Potter. I don't ask you to worry your stupid little head over me."

"Aw, it's amazing that your voice can be so nasally but still turn me on."

"I'm your teacher, Potter, and I'll ask you to keep it that way."

"But you look so cute! If I was so adorable with a cold, I'd probably be raped by fangirls."

The Potions master's eyes snapped open. "What!?"

Harry wrinkled his nose playfully at him. "Jealous? I wouldn't let them, of course. I'm all yours!"

"You…brat."

"You…sexy beast."

"Sexy…what? What have you been smoking today, Potter?"

"Nothing," the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Get-Into-Trouble said innocently, walking over to the man's desk. Snape regarded him warily. "What?"

"Nothing," the green eyed boy repeated, and then leaned in to kiss him.

Severus closed his eyes, savoring the taste, but then it struck him that the boy was a student. And a boy. He had enough on his plate without being accused of pederasty, thank you. He jerked away. It would be wiser to wait till the brat graduated. Not that he wanted to, of course.

"Out. Now."

Harry smirked at him, happily noting the blush that colored the alabaster cheeks, and obliged.

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Potions class again, and thankfully, all was quiet again. Severus Snape looking for revenge will do that to students.

"Sir," Harry called out, "Can you move, I can't see the instructions on the board!"

"Very well, Potter, but don't talk. You're giving me a headache," the man sneered as the Slytherins chortled.

Harry glared at him through puffy eyes. "Git," he muttered. Ron grinned at him. "At least you got to kiss him."

Hermione blushed. "Ron!"

"Well, he did, didn't he?"

The Potter sneezed, and his eyes welled up, and he blew his nose on a tissue loudly.

"There, there, there's no need to cry if the work is too complicated for your tiny brain to comprehend. I'm sure our resident know-it-all, Miss Granger, would be happy to assist."

The Golden Trio glowered at the man.

"Someone so evil should not be allowed to be so sexy!"

Harry Potter had caught Severus Snape's cold.

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Heh, Snape was begging for it.