It's an average day; the sky is blue, the weather is nice, classes are normal, and nothing weird is happening. Haruhi is sitting beside me, in between Kaoru and me, and is paying close attention to the teacher's lecture. Kaoru is doing the same. I'm paying close enough attention, but to be honest my thoughts are elsewhere. Lately nothing seems quite right, not the way it used to, and I'm not sure why.
It all started around a week ago, during host hours. I was doing my routine with Kaoru, as usual, when a thought popped into my head. How do I really feel about Haruhi? I started thinking about it then, but nothing really changed until later that week. I've known she was different for a while now, but what does that mean? Does it mean we're close friends? Do I like her in a romantic way? Was it a more familial affection? I had to know. I'm not sure why, but something told me it was important to think about it, so I did. I ended up thinking about it a lot, and along the way I realized that, if anything, I thought of her as a sister.
The problem is, for a while now I've thought I might have a crush on her. I thought that, maybe, since she was different, I might actually like her. Recently, though, I realized that that's just not the case. I looked at myself, at how I felt about her, and I realized that I just don't want her. The more I focus on it, the more obvious it becomes.
My thoughts keep drifting in that direction now; not so much on Haruhi, more about romance in general. It feels weird to think like this, especially since it was never really on my mind before. I never really thought about being with anyone or at least not this much. Lately all I can think about is what kind of person I want to be with. No matter how hard I try, no girl seems to fit the bill. I've thought of dating cute girls, the sweet type, but I'd end up making them cry. I don't want a bitchy chick; I'd probably slap her in the face! I'm not into brainy girls either, or brainless bimbos. Is there something wrong with me? What kind of guy can't even fantasize about chicks?
"Hikaru, pay attention. The teacher is going to notice if you keep staring into space." Haruhi leans over to whisper at me. I'm shaken from my daydream and forced to pay closer attention to the boring lecture. I take notes automatically, as per usual, and wait impatiently for the bell to ring. I just want to do something interesting to take my mind off of all this weird romance crap. Maybe host club will be especially entertaining today. Before long, the bell rings, signaling my eager departure from the dreary classroom, waiting only a moment on Kaoru and Haruhi.
Normally, I would talk to Kaoru about this kind of thing, but lately he's been a bit unusual. It's like he's been keeping a secret from me, and he's doing his best to avoid talking to me at all. He's learned by now that I know exactly how to get stuff out of him, which makes it even harder to do it at all. Even so, I figure it's not that important, so I can probably figure it all out on my own. We walk into the music room together, Haruhi walking away from us, getting caught up in Tamaki's idiocy, and Kaoru and I linking arms, walking over to bother Kyouya. It seems he's been the victim of our pranks a lot lately.
"Hello, Kyou-Kyou. How are you doing today?" Kaoru starts off with an annoying nickname. Sure enough, Kyouya replies in annoyance.
"Please refrain from calling me stupid names. Its bad enough Tamaki is convinced it's appropriate to deem me 'mother', I don't need any other odd names floating around. Should one of our customers hear it, I would never hear the end of it." Even so, his tone remains flat, as per usual.
"Aww, Kyou-Kyou's cranky today Kaoru. I think he needs to relax." I jump in, taking one of his shoulders. Kaoru follows suit, taking the other, however he takes an unexpected approach.
"I think he needs to get laid." He whispered directly into Kyouya's ear. For a moment, I'm terrified of how he would react, however I find his response to be quite…shocking.
"E-excuse me?!..." He sputtered at a loss for words. His face was a slight pinkish color and he looked completely frazzled for a moment. Whoa, hold on a second, what the hell is going on here? Is Kaoru flirting with Kyouya? More importantly…is it actually working?
"You know, Kyou-Kyou, I know someone who could take care of that for you." His tone is subtly flirtatious. Holy shit, Kaoru is flirting with Kyouya!
"The-that would be highly inappropriate, Kaoru." Kyouya tried to regain composure, but It's obvious he's being affected.
"Oh, in that case, should I do the honors?" WOW, talk about balsy! I didn't know he had it in him!
"K-Kaoru! That is quite…" At that moment, Tamaki interrupted.
"Alright, gentlemen! As your king, I have a magnificent plan for the host club today!" We all turned to focus on our self-proclaimed king, who was holding a very uncomfortable-looking Haruhi at his side. "Today, we will switch around a bit. Hani-sempai is out sick today and can't make it to the club, however Mori is still here. Because of this, we have an even number of hosts. I think we should take advantage of this rare opportunity and partner up in new pairs! Haruhi and I will be a pair, of course, and I think I'll put Hikaru with…Mori, and Kaoru with Kyouya! This will be great!" He started bouncing around the room with Haruhi, blabbering on enthusiastically.
"Is this a good idea? I mean, we already have specific customers and acts. I can't very well do a brotherly love act with Mori, now can I?" I turn to Kyouya, the voice of reason. He seems taken off guard for a moment, but then pushes up his glasses to begin speaking.
"Actually, Hikaru, I think this could be an excellent idea. If all goes well, we could use this to our advantage. It could actually enhance our productivity by a large margin in cases of host absence, like today. It will also benefit each of us to learn how to cope in different settings, which will only boost your ability as a host. Moreover, due to the fact that certain acts, such as your and Kaoru's brotherly love act as well as Hani and Mori's…cute…act, do require two people, it will be best if you are put into pairs so as to avoid too much awkwardness. Besides, in some ways, your audience is similar to Mori's, and if you must you could probably still pull off a forbidden love act." He smiles deviously. That jerk only cares about the money. Kaoru seems oddly pleased though. I wonder what all of that is about.
"Whatever. Mori, what do you think we should do then? I mean…do you feel comfortable doing a forbidden love act or what?" I turn to find him right behind me, almost walking into him. I gasp and step back a bit, finding his eyes on me. I never noticed how intense his stare is before, or how he seems to look straight into you. Not through you, it's like he's holding you in place with his eyes. I can feel my face heating up a bit.
"I don't mind. I think it goes without saying that you'll have to be the submissive one." He almost smiles a bit, his tone as flat and baritone as ever. I manage to break away from the stare, swallowing the lump in my throat so I can talk.
"Yeah, no problem. I can manage that; I just need to know…how far you're willing to go. I mean, with Kaoru and I we got by mostly with words, but you're not the talking type. We're probably going to have to push it a bit farther if we want it to be believable. What are you comfortable with?" I'm trying to avoid eye contact without seeming rude.
"I'm not particularly uncomfortable with anything. Whatever is needed, I will do it." His words are straightforward and blunt, but still irksomely vague. I have to be blunt as well, which is usually not a problem at all, but suddenly…I feel shy.
"Well, would you be uncomfortable with, say…" I can feel my face heat up a bit, which makes me even more embarrassed. "..kissing?" There's a long pause before I finally look up at his face. His expression is exactly the same; completely neutral. He just shakes his head, no.
"Whatever is needed, I will do it." He repeats resolutely. He takes it so seriously; I can't help but feel a bit intimidated.
"If you're sure, I can set up a scenario where you don't have to say much. You just have to react believably." He nods as I begin to tell him the plan. Before long, the customers arrive. Girls file into the room, as per usual, but quickly notice a slight change in set up. Quiet chatter begins to break out in the crowd, the girls looking around unsurely until Tamaki stood to silence them.
"Hello, ladies! I'm sorry to inform you that, unfortunately, Hani-sempai is sick today, and therefore couldn't make it here." A chorus of 'awww's and 'oh no'es could be heard at that statement. "Because of this, however, we have arranged something quite interesting for you all. As you can see, we're set up a bit differently than normal. That is because we have decided to move pairs around for the day! For today, Haruhi and I will be hosting together, as well as Kyouya and Kaoru, and Takeshi and Hikaru! That being said, please enjoy, ladies. Be sure to tell us how you liked this arrangement before you leave." And with his words, hosting began. At first, the girls seemed unsure of where to go. Kaoru and my usual clients seemed especially unsure. After a while, though, things seemed to work out. Now, Mori and I have two girls sitting across from us. For a moment we sit in silence, barely saying anything at all. I look around the room to see how the others are doing. Kaoru seems to be doing an oddly realistic routine with Kyouya where he teases him and Kyouya doesn't react much. Every once in a while, he says something that makes him blush. Tamaki seems to be shamelessly flirting with Haruhi and getting turned down bluntly. Seeing their success makes me feel the motivation to do this right.
"It must be awful being separated from Kaoru, Hikaru! I'm so sorry." One of the girls pipes up. Just as I expected they'd react.
"He and I have actually been arguing. To be honest, I'm glad. He's just been so angry at me lately." I trail off, my thumb at my lips. The girls gasp in unison.
"No way, Kaoru? I'm so sorry, Hikaru, we had no idea!" The other girl spoke up this time. I smiled a falsely strained smile.
"No, don't worry. I'm fine, really. It's just that…lately I've been feeling like I'm not enough anymore…" On cue, Mori glares downwardly, clenching his fist slightly.
"Nn.." He makes a slightly angry noise in his throat. The subtle bit is noticed by the girls of course, who gasp softly at his obvious wanting to comfort me.
"I just don't know…maybe I'm just a terrible person…" I trail off again, leaning forward a bit so as to look depressed.
"No, Hikaru, you're great! I'm sure you'll work it out!" Girl number one coos reassuringly, the other girl nodding in agreeance.
"Nn.." Mori makes another slightly angry noise, this time seeming to glare at nothing. I turn to look at him with false curiosity.
"Are you okay, sempai?" I ask him softly, using submissive tones I'm unfamiliar with. On cue, he turns to me with an intensely passionate look in his eyes, those dark eyes that bore into mine. I can feel my face start to flush a bit, which has never happened to me before. You can't fake a blush. I've never blushed with Kaoru! Is it because Mori's not my brother?
"It's not right for you to feel guilty. You've done nothing wrong, Hikaru." His tone is laced with jealousy. I'm taken aback at his acting ability.
"What if he doesn't forgive me, though? I'll be all alone…" I trail off with false insecurity.
"No you won't." His voice is forceful; he leans forward taking my shoulders. "You don't need to worry about him, Hikaru." He looks deep into my eyes. I pause for a moment, trapped in those eyes; unable to move or speak or even breathe for that moment. Then I remember that I have to talk.
"What do you mean…sempai?" It comes out softer than I intended, almost a whisper as our gazes remain locked. Then, after a long pause, he slowly leans forward. I can hear the audible gasp from our two customers, but the closer his face gets to mine, the quieter the rest of the room seems to be. Then his lips are on mine, and the rest of the world falls away.
The second our lips touch I feel something warm erupt in my stomach. I start to feel like I'm floating, and also like I'm incredibly hot. My eyes close involuntarily as I lean into the kiss, applying more pressure. My hands, resting on his knees, fist into the material of his pants. I feel him press closer against my lips, pushing me back slightly. I return the kiss, maintaining the submissive role as he dominates the kiss. One of his hands rises to cup my cheek as his tongue darts across my lower lip. I hear myself moan quietly as I part my lips to allow him entrance, his hot tongue slipping past them possessively. He explores my mouth, stroking my tongue gently and tickling the roof of my mouth sensually. I hear myself moan again and feel my face grow even hotter. I feel my hands rise to fist in the front of his shirt on his chest. The kiss continues like this for what feels like forever and yet not long enough, before air becomes a necessity. We pull apart slowly, Takeshi nibbling on my lower lip gently before pulling back completely. We lock eyes, panting for a few minutes before we realize that the entire room is silent.
"I like you Hikaru…" Takeshi continues following the script, however his tone is no longer flat. His voice seems to be unsure and laced with longing. Can you fake that? He's blushing slightly and his hand is still on my cheek. We're only a few inches apart, and my fists are still firmly in his shirt.
"S-sempai…" I don't even remember of I was supposed to say anything there. I begin to realize that we're in the host club. This is Mori. I just made out with Mori-sempai, in front of a room full of fan girls and my only friends, and…I think I liked it…a LOT. I feel myself get even redder as I look around the room. Literally everyone is staring at us. Suddenly, Tamaki stands up.
"I'm very sorry, but due to other appointments and jobs and things, the host club will be closing early today! Please, direct any comments to our wonderful Kyouya and have a nice day! We will see you soon!" He began ushering girls out of the room, his speech allowing Mori and I to separate from our embrace. I just made out with a guy! And it was MORI. I don't even talk to Mori! Mori doesn't say anything…ever! That would be like Haruhi making out with Hani! What's going on here? Why the hell did I enjoy that? What's wrong with me? I spend so much time in my thoughts that I don't notice when all of the girls are gone. I don't notice until I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"H-Hikaru, what was that?" Kaoru is looking at me unsurely. It was just supposed to be a peck on the lips. We just MADE OUT, off script! He's going to think I'm a weirdo. I probably just grossed out my brother! Oh my god, what is wrong with me?!
"We kissed, and obviously he enjoyed it. Is there something wrong with that?" Mori-sempai jumps in for me. He sounds legitimately jealous.
"No, not at all! I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I mean I of all people support this kind of stuff, I just didn't know that Hikaru had feelings for you."
"Hold on! I don't know how I feel! I'm really; really confused right now…I don't know what's going on!" It comes out a bit louder than I intended.
"So you don't have feelings for Mori-sempai?" Haruhi pipes in confusedly.
"That's not what I'm saying! I have no idea…I might..." I look over at Mori for a moment, searching his eyes for any sign that he might feel one way or another about me. Before I can be sure, he looks away.
"Hikaru, if you don't know how you feel, you need more time to think about it. Just in case, I'd like to make my intentions very clear. I do have feelings for you, Hikaru. I do have the intention of pursuing you, however, should you reject me, I will leave you be." Mori states flatly, and then walks out with his bag, just like that. I feel myself flush for what seems like the ten thousandth time today. Mori has feeling for me? Since when? How long has he felt this way? What does he mean he intends to pursue me? More than that, do I want him to? Why did I like that kiss so much? Why did it feel so right? Is it because I've never kissed a girl? Should I kiss a girl to compare it? Am I…gay?
"Hikaru, I'm sure you're really confused. I'm your brother, and I can help you get through this." Kaoru tries to reassure me. I nod quietly, unsure of what else to do. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I know for a fact that I can no longer call today average.