Author's Note: I had a lot of thoughts after watching Endgame and had to write something about it. I put it together in a couple hours so apologies for any mistakes. Spoilers for Endgame!
From the moment Dr. Strange risked the time stone to save him, he'd been racking is brains. Why? Why after reiterating the importance of the time stone, did Strange suddenly trade the stone for his life. He disappeared quickly after that so there wasn't much opportunity to ask him.
Instead, Tony spent most of his time on the spaceship thinking about this. Logically, he was going to die there. There was no escaping space. But deep down, he knew there must be more to this. There had to have been. Sure enough, he made it back to Earth, back home, but without the kid. The guilt that he had been suppressing the past month all came back to him when he saw Steve. After all these years, this is what brought them back together. His thoughts were jumbled. The end of the world. He lost the kid. Anger. loss, hopelessness took over him. He didn't know what he was really saying. Thanos was too much. Six years. He could've done more and saved them all. He fainted. Being stranded in space for a month while fighting an infection took a bigger toll on him than he'd thought.
He focused his energy on getting better. He imagined a life with Pepper and how much he wanted to have a family with her. Make that dream he had a reality. As time went on, he thought less and less about Dr. Strange and his actions, but Peter…he could never forget. The back of his mind was never truly free, even after 5 years of pure bliss.
He always had an inkling it wouldn't last. Sure enough, when some of the Avengers showed up at his doorstep, he knew. He tried to fight it, but he knew exactly what was coming. He was being pulled back in. Time travel. Crazy, ludicrous and suicidal. But he knew, this was what Strange had saved him for. It was more than likely he was living on borrowed time. The least he could do was minimize collateral damage. This was it, this was the endgame. And for real this time.
He had to leave a message for Pepper and Morgan. Tony knew he was going to die in this war. This is what Strange had seen, what he had predicted. He was sure of it now. It took him a while to get back into it, to feel present with his teammates. It was great to be back on speaking terms with Cap. Even better when Cap trusted him after he messed up. Cap was like that. Trusting of his allies and seeing the best in them. Heck, Cap probably had more faith in him than he did. Their fight seemed like ancient history now. How they even got to the point of no contact was unimportant now. All of that was irrelevant compared to the fate of half the universe. He got closure with his dad, finally. He was able to tell him things he never did before. He thought about Morgan. He hoped she would understand. She would, she was smarter and better than he ever could hope to be.
Losing Natasha was hard. She was with him through a lot of his worst moments. She never judged him though, and Tony was always grateful for that. Natasha was the best of them and losing her was a huge loss, personally and professionally. Sure, she didn't have any superpowers, but she was more important than that. She was the soul of the team, and now she was gone. They had to win now, for her. Tony wasn't scared of death anymore. He would do it for her and what she stood for.
He was here. Thanos made it to Earth. Time travel sucked. It messed with everything. Thor and Cap were with him. He was not afraid. He knew they had the strength to take him out. They had to. Otherwise their efforts were for nothing. Thanos wouldn't be as forgiving this time. For some reason he had taken a liking to Stark and promised him half of humanity. That was no longer on the table. It was all or nothing.
They fought. They were losing. It was too much. They were all battle weary. Just when all seemed lost, they came back. The ones they lost. The kid. Tony went over. He never thought he would see Peter again. He felt better. The Avengers had finally Assembled. He made eye contact with Strange. Strange didn't say anything, but Tony knew. This had to be it. This was the 1 in 14 million chance they had to beat Thanos. Tony was going to make sure of that.
And he did. He hesitated for a moment, when all seemed lost and Thanos got the gauntlet again. Was this it? Was this the endgame? Would they win? He looked over at Strange, and that signal was all he needed to make the jump. He snapped. He. Was. Iron Man.
Nothing. Emptiness. And then, there was light. Tony could hear Rhodey, Peter and Pepper. Pepper, oh god he'd miss her. Morgan needed her though. Everyone he cared about was around him. What better way to go, if he had to? Damn that Strange. But weirdly, he was thankful to him. He was on borrowed time, and he made the best out of it. Morgan was his legacy. Peter was his legacy. The Avengers could take care of the rest. He had faith. He closed his eyes. He would finally rest now.