I do not own King of the Hill nor have anything to do with its creators.
Absurdity And Tinnitus
It was another sunny morning in Arlen, and Bobby was ready to take on the day (After a Mega-Lo-Mart fruit pie of course). But something was different. As he got dressed, he noticed a slight ringing in his ears. He didn't think too much about it at first; but as the morning progressed, it got more pronounced.
"Hey Bobby, what's going on sport?" Hank asked as Bobby started tugging at his ear.
"Nothing dad."
"Bobby! Quit poking your finger in your ear and wash your hands before you eat!" Hank shouted, frustrated by the sight of Bobby and his lack of manners.
"Ok dad." Bobby replied.
"That boy ain't right." Hank said under his breath while shaking his head.
Bobby entered the kitchen to find his mother at the stove cooking flap-jacks or as Peggy called them 'Flip-Jacks' one of her original creations; she even published the 'recipe' in the Arlen Bystander.
"BOBBY BREAKFAST!" Peggy exclaimed.
Bobby just stood at the sink, without acknowledging her.
"BOBBY!"
"Whaaat?" Bobby said as he galumphed over to the table.
"You heard me young man! Have a seat and have a heaping stack of my world famous flip-jacks ."
Now hearing this flip-jack nonsense, Hank just had to interject. "Now Peggy, you know darn well those are flap-jacks you just renamed them and called them your own."
"No Hank! My famous FLIP-jacks were published in the paper - and you know it." Peggy hissed.
"Hehe, Peggy, the only reason the Bystander published that "recipe" is because you slipped it in there without tellin' them - and they had to retract it the next day because Bob Jenkins caught the error."
"Whatever Hank! And hurry up Bobby, finish up so you're not late!" Peggy shouted.
"Whaaat?"
"Bobby! are ya listenin' boy? She said hurry up and eat so you're not late for school." Hank said, as he shook Bobby by the shoulder.
"Alright dad."
XXXXXX
Bobby headed off to school after grabbing a fruit pie for the road. As he walked down the halls, he noticed the sounds being drowned out by the hum in his ear. He hardly noticed Joseph trying to get his attention.
"Hey Bobby! Bobby! What's going on dude?"
"I can't hear you Joseph. What'd ya say again?" Bobby said loudly.
"I SAID, WHAT'S UP BRO!?"
"Nuthin' much Joseph. I just got this humming in my freaking ears." Bobby groaned.
"Sounds pretty messed up dude. Maybe you should like go to the nurse or sumthin'. Hey Bobby, doesn't the nurse have like big boobies and stuff? I'll follow you. So I can like see them and stuff." Joseph said excitedly.
"Big whats?"
"Big boobies Bobby!" Joseph shouted out, getting more frustrated by the moment.
Just then, Dooley walks up after overhearing the to classmates conversation, and just had to throw in his typical monotone one liners.
"Bobby has Tinnitus."
"What's Tinni... whatever?" Joseph asked.
"Bobby can't hear." Dooley replied.
Hearing this made Joseph freak out. He started saying stuff like. 'they're probably going to have like drill holes in your head.' and 'you'll probably have to like wear a hearing aid like an old person.' Bobby couldn't hear half of this nonsense, but it got him more worried by the moment.
"Joseph! I can't wear no hearin' aids! I'm not old like grandpa Cotton!"
Joseph and Bobby finally get to the nurses office and tell her of Bobby's problem. Joseph can't stop staring at the nurse and Bobby can't stop whining about the buzzing in his ear.
"Oh Bobby, it'll probably go away on its own, but I'm writing you a note for your parents - just in case." The nurse says.
"In case WHAT!" Bobby screamed hysterically.
"In case it doesn't go away in a day or two. They'll probably have to take you to a doctor or just get you some OTC ear-drops. Bobby, it's probably just tinnitus...its nothing to be concerned about. I'll write you a slip for class, but not Joseph - he's on his own." The nurse said annoyed by Joseph's behavior.
Bobby went through the rest of the school day with his serious case of tinnitus, barely hearing a word anyone said, till the bell rang - which Joseph had to point out.
XXXXXX
Bobby, finally got home where he was met by Hank sitting in his favorite green recliner watching channel 84 waiting for the weather.
"Hey Bobby, how was school?"
"Whaat?"
"I SAID! HOW WAS SCHOOL?!" Hank yelled in frustration.
"Ok."
Just then Peggy walks in the living room and ask Hank if the weather was on yet. Hank was trying to look at the screen, but Bobby stood in front of it holding his note from the nurse's office.
"Move out the got-dang way boy! I'm trying to see if any storms are on the way!"
"Bobby! what's in your hand! give it to me - NOW!" ordered Peggy.
"What mom? I can't hear ya."
"I SAID, GIVE ME THAT NOTE!"
"Good lord boy, can't ya hear? or are ya just trying to test our patience?" Hank yelled out as his face turned red as a beat with his fingers on his temples.
"Here's a note from school, they said i should give it to you. the nurse said I have..."
"Bobby! just give your mom the got-dang note! Peggy I really need my BC Headache Powders - oh god."
Bobby eventually walks over to Peggy and gives her the note. But by the time he did that, Hank done missed the weather.
"See what ya did boy?! You made me miss the weather." Hank exclaimed with his head in his hands.
"Oh Hank! Just turn it on the Weather Channel. I'm sure the have Arlen on there. Thats right, every 15 minutes they show the 5 day forecast for the tri-city area. I Should know, because as a member of the press I have to stay at the top of my game."
"I'm not watching the Weather Channel it'd be like cheatin' on Channle 84 and Nancy. You know how Nancy depends on us being avid viewer's of her broadcast. How would I explain it to Dale. Sorry Pegg, there's 3 things I'm loyal to: America, Propane and Channel 84."
Hearing this almost made Peggy crumple the note in her angry hands.
"And our marriage...right Hank?"
"Hehe, oh yeah, almost forgot that Peg-leg. Hehe, love ya Peggy."
"Hey guys! I might be going deaf over hear and have to wear a hearing aid like grandpa Cotton. Tell em mom!" Bobby screamed out in anger, seeing how Hank and Peggy were suddenly sidetracked by something as mundane as the weather.
"Oh yeah Hank, Bobby has tinnitus. We have to go to the Mega-Lo-Mart and pick Bobby up some Similasan Ear Drops. But first let's eat dinner. Tonight I made my world famous Frito pie."
"Sounds good Peggy. But dang it! I wish i would have caught the weather. now I have no way of projecting propane sales for Buck."
"So mom! Am I going deaf or what?"
"Oh Bobby you'll be fine - now get ready for dinner." Peggy said.
"What?"
"DINNER TABLE - NOW!"
The family finally ate dinner then headed out to the truck where they headed off to the Mega-Lo-Mart, with Bobby tapping away at his Gameboy along the way.
"Bobby! Put the got-dang vidya game away till we get home!" Hank shouted frustrated at his son's lack of focus.
"What?"
"Oh never mind Bobby, and peggy remind me to pick up some more BC Headache Powders; my got-dang head is killing me."
"Noted Hank." Peggy replied.
"Hey mom, you know what would make this trip even better?"
"No Bobby. What?" Peggy said with her hand to her chin.
"Flap-jacks."
"Good one Bobby - But you have to say it like this... FLAP-JACKS!" Peggy shouted out the passenger side window.
"FLAP-JACKS!" Bobby shouted.
"Could y'all nock off the comedy act? I just told ya Peggy, I got a got-dang headache."
"Oh you'll get over it Hank...FLAP-JACKS!" Peggy laughed as she comically waved her hands around.
The Hill family faded out of sight as they headed off towards the Mega-Lo-Mart. But if you listened close enough you could hear Bobby and Peggy say.
"I Luv this truck!"
"FLAP-JACKS!"
THE END