Notes: My first tentative foray into this wonderful ship, written for Femslash February.
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Wishful Thinking
Leia pulled her shawl tighter around her against the cool of nighttime Naboo. Her footsteps were soft and almost silent as she joined Evaan on the balcony.
Just one night of respite, a night in the musicians' cloister before they continued their search for the orphans of Alderaan.
Leia watched Evaan Verlaine from the corner of her eyes. The pilot stood tall and stiff, her blonde hair as perfectly coiffed as befit her composure. It was nothing unusual from one mentored by Breha Organa herself, but Leia had never felt so… ruffled by it. Her hands tightened around the balcony railing. Never before had Leia so badly wanted to take someone and shake them until all that perfect poise and disdainful obedience fell away, and only the real woman beneath remained.
"Do you like stargazing?" she asked. Leia pressed her lips together in frustration at the hint of shyness in her own voice.
Meek wasn't her, and she refused to let anyone cow her, even this bold pilot who could exude defiance while remaining coldly subservient. She just… Her knuckles turned white as she grasped the railing tight enough for her fingers to ache. She just wanted Evaan to like her, wanted to win her respect and loyalty not for whose daughter she was, but for her own sake.
Evaan turned to her, declaring, "You shouldn't be out here, ma'am. It's too dangerous."
Frustration bubbled up in Leia. Thwarted once again. It shouldn't bother her this much. She had never been bent on being well-liked, but since the first time she laid eyes on her Evaan's disdain had bothered her.
"I'm not going to hide away like a frightened mouse, that goes against everything we are doing here."
"Which is risking your life," Evaan replied without missing a beat.
Anger burst forth in Leia and burned hot through her veins; every thought of making Evaan like her was forgotten in the same firebrand indignation that had sent her on this quest in the first place.
"Look at me and tell me we didn't do good today!" She straightened her shoulders, rising to her full height which was still a head shorter than Evaan. "Look into my eyes when you say that, Evaan!"
Evaan's face turned even icier, but she remained silent far too long for any denial to be credible, and said, "I can't, my Queen."
She briskly ignored the pang of hurt at Evaan's formality and decided it would have to be good enough for her.
They watched the stars in silence, and though they would not have been able to say which dot of light belonged to Alderaan's sun, they were for a moment united in their grief.
Leia edged a little closer to Evaan. Just because it was cold, and the pilot exuded warmth, mind you.
"Thank you." Leia's voice was just above a whisper. If Evaan wanted to ignore it, she could pretend she hadn't heard.
"I'm just doing my duty," Evaan said, but her voice was just as quiet, but maybe it was wishful thinking, or maybe Evaan's voice had truly softened.
Leia's heart sped up a little either way. Her grip on the railing relaxed. The ache in her fingers lingered. "Then I'm glad it's you who is doing this duty!"
Evaan gave her a long look that was impossible to read. "We mustn't forget who we are. You are my Queen, and my place is to serve you."
Leia gave her a scrutinizing look, but Evaan remained as unreadable as ever. Yet she felt a little bit more hopeful, as if there was a promise in Evaan's words which went beyond the blind obedience of a good royal subject. It was most likely just wishful thinking.
She nodded curtly and turned on her heel. "Don't stay up too late, Evaan. Our journey has barely begun."
"I know."
That, too, was bound to be nothing but wishful thinking, but she could have sworn she heard Evaan whisper Leia.
The End