My first fan fic! Please take note that this happened early in the Nightvale series before Carlos *spoiler* got trapped in the desert otherworld/dogpark. Enjoy! :3 And feel free to leave your reviews.
A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead as we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Nightvale.
Hello listeners. Before I start off with today's news, I would like to apologize for the loud banging in the background. It seems to be coming from the back door. None of us know what it is quite yet. I've sent intern Sam to go check it out.
Let's return to that later, shall we? The sheriff's police are putting out a warning to all Nightvale citizens not to open the drawer to your left. You know the one. Several people have already disappeared by not following this warning, and after careful examination it can be concluded that a shiny green light is coming out of said drawers. More news on this story as it forms.
At the town meeting, Old Woman Josie states that the angels are trying their best to reason with the Glow cloud, but it seems to be giving them the silent treatment. When not treated carefully, the silent treatment could cause fatal diaphragm damage. Be sure to visit your doctor if you think that someone is giving you the silent treatment. We must bow down to the glow cloud. The glow cloud is all powerful. Nobody can reason with the Glow cloud. All hail the Glow cloud.
Sam has not yet returned from outside. To the parents of Sam, I regret to inform you that your son was lost in the line of community radio show duty, and that he will be missed, and never forgotten. This just in listeners, intern Dana has had the brilliant idea of turning on our new outdoor security cameras donated generously by Finkley's. ALWAYS buy your products from Finkley's. Just looking at their high prices gives you more brainwaves. Looking on our viewing screens, I cans see that the figure outside seems to be a deformed Leland, although this is impossible, since Leland is sadly deceased. Perhaps I drank the wrong coffee. Perhaps this radio station is just an illusion, and I am j-wait. Intern Dana confirms that she can see him too. Unless she is an illusion as well. Clearly annoyed, she tells me that she is, in fact, real. Listeners, trust no one.
Perhaps the mysterious force has brought Leland back for a reason. Perhaps Leland knows something that we don't. Perhaps the universe wants us to know what he knows. To the parent's of Leland, please stay calm. All I can say at the moment is that there seems to be blood streaming from his torso all over our new community radio station doormat, and his skin is a sickly mauve colour.
What's this? Intern Dana seems to have gone outside to Leland. Listeners, I fear intern Dana has put herself in a bad spot, although i'm sure Sam would commend her for her bravery. Leland has grabbed hold of intern Dana's arm. Perhaps I should send intern Ed-wait. Intern Dana seems to be pulling her retractable Z-17 chainsaw out of her pocket. Never face a mysterious being without your retractable Z-17, and certainly don't use your Z-15. I'm going to turn the cameras off now listeners, and leave them to their dilly dallys. To intern Leland's parents, I regret to inform you that your son is now going back to the fiftieth death world, where he can frolic with the manticores and eat all the fish livers he wants. Mmm, fish livers.
And now, the news.
Scientist Carlos, whom we all adore and envy, has declared that the stars are shining less brightly on Thursdays. What exactly are stars, listeners? Carlos, beautiful, perfect, Carlos, tells me that they're just big balls of hot air. Of course, I always believe Carlos, but why do we draw them with five legs when they only seem to have four? Why do we draw water a gloomy dark blue when it's clearly a light, delicate crimson? Will these questions be answered, or am I just shouting into a void with no ears?