Thoughts of Hope and Unsettle

A/N: This is one of the shorter stories among the 8 deleted Zero Day fanfics I have decided to rewrite. The original story was 728 words in length, and was uploaded on December 19, 2011. Almost five years later exactly, I became aware that it and all the rest of the 8 Zero Day stories written by a user (who I will leave unnamed) and uploaded to this site in December 2011 had been deleted. These were some great stories, every one of them. All 8 going at once was a serious blow to the Zero Day section of this site. We lost some great insights into the characters, into the movie, into school shootings and the shooters themselves. I was bothered enough by the loss of such quality work that I decided to take the same titles, plot concepts, and what words and dialogue I had left and rewrite the stories myself. This was originally 8 in my numbered list of Restoration Series works, but because it is a shorter story and easier to rewrite, it was bumped up from 8 to 4. This story is about 2,126 words versus the original's 728, so it would up being right about three times the original story's length. It's a recreation of a former story by the same name, but not an exact one.

Rachel Lurie brushed a few strands of long brown hair out of her eye as she looked over the biography she was writing for U.S. History class. It was her initial printed copy, a none-too-masterful effort at describing the life and accomplishments of Ernest Joseph King. Rachel wasn't a big history person, but you had to pass so many classes in social studies if you wanted that diploma. This rough draft was going to need to be checked carefully; Rachel did not get to use the family computer very often, since her mom largely worked from home. The computer lab at school where she wrote her papers. And since she wanted to be able to do some kind of work on this paper at home, she'd printed her first draft of it and was looking it over like a teacher would, searching for errors.

Like the second paragraph on the second page. For some reason, while she'd capitalized the rank, she'd referred to the 55-year Navy veteran as "Rear Admiral King", demoting him from five stars to one or two. She'd been reading through two books, Master of Sea Power and The Eisenhower Diaries, to meet Mr. Gregory's reference requirements, and the latter actually mentioned someone else accidentally making just that error when mailing an envelope to King. The stern old admiral sent the envelope back without opening it, drawing an arrow at the incorrect rank on the envelope's address.

What a guy. Smart? Absolutely. The man sounded brilliant. But vain, humorless, and short-tempered.

Well, gosh, Rachel reflected, looking at her paragraph commenting on and analyzing King's personality. Smart, mad about something all the time, easy to piss him off. He sounds like Andre.

Andre Kriegman. Oh, man. Rachel would have rather hung out with a grumpy fleet admiral for a year than be around Andre for ten minutes.

Andre was the creepiest person she had ever met. She didn't talk to him much; she didn't want to talk to him much, but he still came across as controlling and a little bit violent. Yet, Cal had nothing but good things to say about Andre and with the way he blushed whenever she teased him, she was beginning to think Cal maybe more than just liked him as a friend. They sure were close, and they wouldn't tell you anything about it if you asked. That didn't mean they were gay, but- there were aspects of their friendship that they definitely kept hidden from the world.

At least, that's what she saw when she looked at the two of them. She wished she wasn't the only one that saw it, that felt it. It seemed Andre was a gentleman whenever adults were around.He and Cal had a small group of friends (not including her), but she felt it mostly consisted of Cal's friends. Andre didn't seem to have many friends. And when Rachel really was honest with herself, he didn't have any friends. A few acquaintances, but nothing significant. Andre's only real, solid friend was Cal.

Rachel tended not to hang out with Cal when Andre was around, but the few times she had, the teen was cursing all over the place and being downright rude about people. And there was no point trying to say anything about it, either. Andre would either laugh it off or get angry, taking it as a challenge. He was openly contemptuous of what pretty much anyone thought about anything, and Rachel's attempts to get him to soften his tone had all met with failure.

And then there was that admiration he seemed to have for the Nazis and Hitler. Whenever he talked about them, Andre didn't have the critical tone most did. Just from his tone of voice, you could tell Andre didn't see them as bad people. This one time back in September of 1998, Rachel had even seen Andre get a strike at a bowling alley and yell "Hail Hitler!" in front of everybody. There'd been kids there, all kinds of people around. Andre hadn't cared.

Being around Andre flat-out made Rachel uncomfortable, and she'd given up on trying to reason or argue with him. Andre loved picking fights and enjoyed it when he upset Rachel about anything, so she had long since started finding other places to be when Andre showed up while she was with Calvin. She always left quickly, telling Cal that she would call him later and he would smile at her and nod and that would be that.

Rachel wondered again if he and Andre didn't 'like' each other just a little bit. As secretive as they were together, there wasn't really any way to know. Rachel knew Cal didn't think that highly of himself or his looks, but he was actually pretty cute, and the occasions where she'd gotten to see him go swimming had made Rachel uncomfortable in a whole other way from what Andre did. Seeing Cal with his shirt off… it was nice. It also made it hard to act normally around him, because Rachel didn't want to start acting weird and put him off. Sometimes she felt like Cal probably had a crush on her too, but he'd never asked her out or anything. If it turned out Cal was gay or bisexual or whatever, Rachel could get over her crush on him, but there was no way she was accepting any relationship with Andre.

It was barely tolerable for her as it was, with Andre and Cal being best friends. Them actually dating and everything would make Andre impossible to be around. Rachel had never liked Andre. Ever. But from the day Andre and Cal had met, they'd really hit it off. Every year they'd known each other saw them become better friends than the year before. Rachel did try to keepher mouth shut and she knew she did a fairly good job of it, but Cal had to know she didn't like his best friend. As much as she tried to hide it to be nice to Cal, the signs were there from her and from Andre that they couldn't stand each other. And more than once Rachel had felt as if Cal, even if it was by the tiniest of margins, was choosing Andre over her.

Calvin knew Rachel didn't like Andre, and yet he'd always avoided actually addressing the issue with her or with Andre. Calvin just left it alone, all the while becoming better and better friends with Andre. It really seemed like he was choosing Andre over Rachel and just hoping she wouldn't notice. That thought hurt, but it mostly worried her that Andre- violent, profane, angry, antisocial Andre- would gain more influence over Cal the more the blond allowed Andre into his life. Cal denied it all kinds of ways, but he acted different around Andre. When he was by himself or with anybody but Andre, Cal was the boy Rachel had known for years, with few changes. But when he was with Andre, Cal was just not the same. What Andre wanted and cared about suddenly mattered more than what anyone else thought, and Cal never went against something Andre said, no matter what it was.

It just worried Rachel that Andre might be affecting Cal, because as nice as Rachel tried to be about people, she was convinced that any effect Andre had on Cal would never be anything good. Cal was a nice person at heart; always had been. Andre wasn't. There was something terribly cold and mean about him. Andre was fascinated with power, with violence, with death. He was always talking about what he'd do to people if he was in charge, saying how much he wanted to be a dictator.

Talking to Cal about the stuff Andre said didn't do that much good. Cal always just smiled as if oblivious to his friend's words, but she knew Caldidn't agree with them if he wasn't oblivious. After all, how could he possibly agree with some of those awful things Andre said? How could he be anything like Andre, who seemed to hate just about everything and everybody? He probably just was being nice, doing everything he could not to offend Andre, a guy who was very easy to offend. But Rachel didn't like him compromising with the nice person she knew he was in order to please Andre.

What good could possibly come of Cal being best friends with someone like that? And what would happen if Andre ever got a really serious hold over Cal's life, instead of the kind of influence he had now? Rachel didn't like to think about that. She really didn't. And because Cal would gently turn aside any attempts she made to talk to him about this, Rachel just had to trust her friend and hope for the best. Hope that he would continue to be himself and not let Andre sway him towards anything crazy. Rachel had faith that Cal would stay sensible in dealing with Andre, though. She trusted him.

Yet, either way, they would all be going off to university in the fall, even Cal. Perhaps Cal and Andre would begin to drift apart. It happened all the time; people who'd been the very best of friends for years in high school started to change and drift apart after 12th grade ended. Cal talked about going to college occasionally; even if his heart wasn't really in it now, he'd get to like it. Rachel knew he would. And Andre… well, he'd do whatever it was Andre planned on doing after high school. She had never asked him about that, and honestly, she didn't care. Getting him out of her life for good would be a relief, and that was coming.

It seemed sometimes like Andre and Cal were almost more like brothers than friends, like they were going to stick together for the rest of their lives. But Rachel knew that was silly. Graduation was coming, and once Cal headed off to college on his own and Andre did whatever he was going to do somewhere else, Cal would return to being his normal self full-time. He would learn and grow and finally figure out that those angelic good looks of his turned heads more often than he thought. Cal would advance and progress, and one day he wouldn't need Andre Kriegman anymore.

In the end Cal and Andre were just too different. Before too long, after he'd spent some time away from Andre in college, Cal would realize that. Someday, when Cal's friendship fell to pieces (and she hoped it would) she would be there to comfort Cal because she actually deserved his friendship unlike the creepy guy that Andre was.

Plain and simple, Calvin Gabriel was a nice person, a good person. Andre Kriegman- it was a lot harder to say that about him. A lot harder. And Calvin was smart enough to not let someone like that get too involved in his life, or have too much influence over what he said or did. Right? Sure. Rachel knew Cal, knew him better than Andre did- though that creep would immediately contradict her if he ever heard her say it- and she knew Cal would ultimately make the right decisions in the end, even if letting go of his friendship with Andre came hard for him.

But what if he never did go away? What if Andre just stayed around and Cal became more and more like him, maybe without anyone even noticing until one day, BAM, new Cal?

What if Calvin had things about him that he kept secret, had always kept secret, and people like Rachel had never known him as well as they thought?

Rachel suddenly decided she didn't like the thoughts now entering her head. That last one especially. She pushed it away and quickly brushed her hair, climbing into bed. She needed to stop worrying so much about this, letting her mind go all these different directions.

Ultimately she just had to trust herself, and trust Calvin. She'd known him longer than Andre. She knew him better. As unpleasant as it was having Andre be such close friends with Calvin, Rachel had every reason to believe that things would work out fine in the end. That Cal would come to his senses and let Andre fade out of his life. Cal was a smart guy, a good guy. Rachel worried about him, but she knew she could have faith in him, too. Rachel knew Andre and Cal wouldn't be friends until the day they died or anything like that. Things would work out fine in the end.

She could hope, and she would continue to hope.

A/N: Here below are all the words I was able to recover from the vast and mysterious reaches of the internet. 338 words recovered out of 728, or 46%. Nearly half. It just so happens that this story marks 50% completion of my Zero Day Restoration Series, as it is number 4 out of 8. Considering this ambitious and difficult project was begun in December of 2016, same month as I found out the original 8 stories had been deleted, this is good progress in a relatively short amount of time.

Andre was the creepiest person she had ever met.**She didn't talk to him much; she didn't want to talk to him much, but he still came across as**controlling and a little bit violent. Yet, Cal had**nothing but good things to say about Andre and with the way he blushed whenever she teased**him, she was beginning to think

At least, that's what she saw when she looked at the two of them. She wished she wasn't** the only one that saw it, that felt it. It seemed Andre was a gentleman whenever adults were around.** He and Cal had a small group of friends (not including her), but she felt it mostly consisted of Cal's friends.

Rachel tended not to hang out with Cal when Andre was around, but the few times she had, the teen was**cursing all over the place and being downright rude about people.

If it turned out Cal was gay or bisexual or whatever, Rachel could get over her crush on him, but there was no way she was accepting any**relationship with Andre.

Rachel did try to keep her mouth shut and she knew she did a fairly good job of it, but ...

She always left quickly, telling Cal that she would call him later and he would smile at her and nod and that would be that.

Cal always just smiled as if oblivious to his friend's words, but she knew Cal**didn't agree with them if he wasn't oblivious. After all, how could he

Yet, either way, they would all be going off to university in the fall, even Cal. Perhaps Cal**and Andre would begin to drift apart.

That thought hurt, but mostly it worried her. ...

Someday, when**Cal's friendship fell to pieces (and she hoped it would) she would be there**to comfort Cal because she actually deserved his friendship unlike the creepy guy that Andre was.

She pushed it away and quickly brushed her hair, climbing into bed. She needed to stop ...

She could hope, and she would continue to hope.

A/N: Fleet Admiral Ernest J. King was the Chief of Naval Operations and Commander in Chief, United States Fleet from 1942/1941 until his retirement just after World War II. He was tough and short-tempered and brilliant. Most people haven't heard of him these days, but King was the boss of the United States Navy from not long after Pearl Harbor until the end of the war. It wasn't just Patton and MacArthur who contributed to winning the fight. Anyway, since I did not know how the original "Thoughts of Hope and Unsettle" began, I made up my own intro, mentioning in the process a pair of real books that mention Fleet Admiral King- one being a biography of him. I liked the idea of Rachel thinking that King's often grouchy, humorless manner was just like Andre, and that gave me a good lead-in to the first pieces of recovered text I wanted to use.

This was probably the quickest and easiest of all the 8 deleted stories to write. Helps that it was only 728 words originally and I had a full 46% of the original text to work with and use to help my memory. Completion of this story has 4 out of the 8 Zero Day Restoration Series stories written and uploaded, putting the project at 50%. With this project having been started back in December 2016 when I became aware of the deletion of those 8 stories from the Zero Day fandom, this is a good sign that the project will definitely be seen through to completion. To anyone who reads this story, thank you, I hope you enjoyed it. I would welcome any commentary readers may have- positive, negative or neutral. Please feel free to share your thoughts on this story in a review.

The former Zero Day story "Calvin's Video Diaries" is referred to, by the way, when Rachel thinks about how Andre once yelled "Hail Hitler" after getting a strike in a bowling alley where she (and Cal, if I didn't mention that) were present. It was Chapter 7, set on September 19, 1998.