Kay was walking in the grocery store, picking up some items into his cart, he just finished an extra shift and all he wanted to do, was just to relax in front of the TV with a glass of wine and a dinner, still deciding between German and Italian. Maybe tomorrow when he's less tired, he might stop by a club for dance or two. Finally standing in the line of the cash register, he dropped couple boxes of condoms in his cart, when he heard a disgusted snort at his action. He frowned, wondering why someone would be disgusted at his choice to buy condoms; it wasn't like he had written gay across his forehead. But he didn't have to wonder for long, because raising his head, he saw a familiar face standing right in front of him, someone he didn't saw for five months and actually wished to never see again- Bettina Bischoff.
"-Bettina", Kay acknowledged, trying to sound friendly and don't give her more reason to dislike him,
"-Kay", she said, sounding less friendly, with a fake half lip smile,
"-How are you?", Kay asked out of politeness, since they stood in the same line and there was no way to avoid each other. But when she glared at him with hate and disgust, he understood that it was probably a wrong question. So she knew then. She knew about their affair. But considering that he left just like Marc wanted, she should be a bit grateful even.
"-Is that how you spend your Friday night? With wine, unhealthy food and a box of condoms?", Bettina for some reason decided to ask, instead of answering his question. Kay glanced inside his cart one more time, thinking he probably should've brought more food, but he wasn't really into cooking,
"-I don't normally cook, so I'll just order something on the way", Kay said deciding not to comment her cart, full of baby food and wine, Kay thought she would feed the baby naturally for a lot longer.
"-So it's just for you then", Bettina said sounding even more angry and disgusted, and Kay couldn't really understand where it was coming from. He always lived alone,
"-Well, I live alone", Kay said not sure why he had to explain and defend himself,
"-Of course you do", Bettina snorted in disgust and Kay just gaped at her. What a hell?
"-Bettina..", Kay said softly, wanting to ask why she was acting and talking this way. He understood her disliking him, if she knew about Marc and him, but he left, leaving them alone and didn't tried to contact them not even once. But her anger and disgust was on the deeper lever and he deserved an explanation.
"-Don't", but Bettina cut him off, raising her hand up and shaking her head. "-I don't even want to know", she said angrily and Kay wondered what she meant.
"-It's freaking ironic that after all this drama, you and Marc still decided to broke up", Bettina said angrily and Kay just gaped at her speechless,
"-But August is just a baby and I hope that he's being well taken cared for, eating much better than this shit", Bettina added disgusted with one more look at his cart and quickly walking away to a suddenly opened cash register.
Kay was left standing there frozen and speechless. Why would Bettina think that he and Marc were still together? It was a shock hearing that she knew in the first place; of course she wasn't blind so she had to find out at some point. But if Marc told her, didn't he tell her that they broke up? Marc was quite clear to him, about what he wanted- to get back his old life and be a family man, living in the lie. It hurt, badly, till to this day. Fuck, it was just four months ago. His chest was till ripped open and bleeding. Why Marc would break his heart, if he was going to leave Bettina anyway? It couldn't be that Marc asked him to leave, just because of Limpinski. Maybe Marc needed more time. But why wouldn't he contact him after he left Bettina, or maybe Bettina was the one to kick him out?
Kay needed answers; he needed it to hear from Marc. Maybe he was risking getting his heart broken all over again, but he needed to know. Maybe they could give it another shot. Maybe Marc was just worried to contact him, thinking he wouldn't take him back, and who knows maybe if Marc would've showed up at his doors, yet again, like he did over and over again, maybe Kay would've kicked his ass and refused to listen to anything he had to say. But it wasn't like that, Marc didn't show up at his doors and Kay almost wanted to kick his ass for it.
Not sure if Marc still lived in his house, Kay decided to check it out first in the database. He didn't wanted risking meeting Bettina yet again, or worse- Marc's parents. If lovely Bettina was this angry and ready to scalp him, he could only image the reaction he would get out of Marc's parents. And thank you very much, but he still wanted to be healthy and in one piece.
Marc in dead had a new place in the city, a regular flat in one of many grey apartment buildings. Kay set in his car for at least fifteen minutes, just staring at the building and thinking what he might find, when he knocks on the doors. Since Kay saw Bettina alone in the grocery store, maybe it means that Marc is with a baby right now. He wasn't sure if Marc would like him to see him, or if Marc wanted to see him at all. Calling himself a pussy, Kay quickly got out of the car and getting in the building, ran the stairs up to the fifth floor. With a deep breath he knocked on the doors couple of times, to be heard perfectly.
"-Just a minute", Marc's voice from the other side, caused his heart to hammer in his chest so fast and so loud, he thought that he might lose conscious. Doors opened a minute alter and Marc, dressed in a simple back t-shirt and grey sweatpants, stepped out with a mouth open to say something, but his words died on his lips, as soon as he saw Kay.
"-Hay Marc", Kay said, guessing it might take a while till Marc gets back a gift of speaking, "-Can we talk?", he asks trying to fight his curiosity and not to glance inside the apartment,
"-Kay, what are you doing here?", Marc asks instead, not sounding irritated at seeing him, just surprised,
"-I wanted to talk", Kay says, admitting to himself, how freaking much he had missed Marc, those four months did nothing to lessen his feelings.
"-What about?", Marc asks, sounding very surprised and confused. Kay can understand that, he too didn't think he would be showing up at his apartment, but he also didn't expect it be an apartment.
"-Can we talk inside?", Kay asks and Marc furrows his eyebrows, obviously surprised by his request. But Kay didn't wanted to talk in the hallway, and just partly because someone might hear them.
"-Sure, come on in", Marc finally offers standing back from the doors, after a long pause of silence. Kay quickly examines the small apartment, with the open kitchen joined together with the living room, white doors to a bathroom, slightly open doors to a bedroom and glass doors to a small balcony. The furniture is simple and old, probably rented out together with the apartment. Kay doesn't need to look hard for signs of the baby. There's a blue stroller standing by the couch, even with a baby inside, currently awake and playing with the toys hanging above his head.
"-Do you want anything to drink?", Marc's voice brings him to the present and Kay turns to face him, founding him already in the kitchen area, putting away recently washed dishes with baby bottles among them. It's obvious he's avoiding him and Kay feels disappointed.
"-Just water", Kay says, hoping that Marc would come closer for their talk. He watched Marc's every move, the way his arms moves and muscles flex, the way his sweatpants hangs low on his hips and his bare feet moves on the wooden parquetry,
Walking back to Kay, Mark hands him a bottle of water and gestures to the couches to sit, choosing a place by the stroller for himself. Kay watches as Marc checks on his son and makes him laugh, he has to admit that fatherhood suits him well, adding one more reason to admire him and even making him that much sexier.
"-It suits you", Kay says with a smile and Marc just looks at him perplexed, Kay is not sure if Marc appreciates the compliment. "-You seem surprised to see me", Kay says and Marc just stares at him shocked, for the obvious reasons. But Kay is interested to hear Marc's opinion.
"-Well, yeah…" Marc trails of not finding the right words. "-I thought you left", Marc says not looking him in the eye and Kay founds difficult to read his mood.
"-I did. For a while", Kay says and Marc finally looks up at him, "-I was in the training camp", Kay explains and for some reason Marc looks even more surprised.
"-I went by your apartment. It was empty", Marc says silently, yet again avoiding looking anywhere close to him. Kay blinks at the information, wondering how long it too for Marc until he came back over, maybe even regretting for giving the key back. He wonders how Marc knew that the apartment was empty, the idea that maybe Marc kicked the doors out, he finds kind of romantic.
"-What for? You told me himself that I should move out, transfer to another job", Kay says not really wanting to pour salt on the wound, but he has to know. Marc looks away quickly, but Kay was able to see a flash of guilt, a hint of regret and maybe even pain. Marc is silent for a long time and it angers Kay.
"-To apologies for what I said. The way I treated you", Marc says very quietly, but the apartment is dead silent, accept for an occasional sound from a baby. "-It was wrong to you and Bettina", Marc adds looking up at his son.
The mention of her name, reminds Kay why he came here. "-Is that why you two broke up?", Kay asks trying not to sound bitter, but simply curious, believing he has a right to know it.
"-How do you know that?", Marc asks surprised and it angers Kay that Marc reacts so simply and emotionless, when he himself boils with emotions.
"-I've met her yesterday in the grocery store", Kay explains searching Marc's face for reaction,
"-Is that why you're here?", Marc asks curiously and Kay notices the quick flashes of guilt, hurt and disappointment,
"-She was shocked and even angry at the fact that we are not together", Kay says noticing how hurt and guilt flashed strongly over Marc's features. Kay is not surprised seeing it, knowing that Marc never wanted to hurt Bettina, but it was unavoidable.
"-We never discussed it. I only told her, that we had a brief affair. Maybe she just thinks that you're reason why I moved out of the house", Marc says looking at somewhere. And Kay agrees that it's a good guess, considering that Marc was building a life with Bettina in that house, with his parents as neighbors, but still, they are not together.
"-Why did you sold the house?", Kay wonders, even if he can guess it well,
"-Didn't seem like a home anymore. I don't need that much of a place, since I only have August for every other weekend", Marc says sadly as he glances at his son. Kay could image that it still hurt losing his family, even if he wasn't that happy in it. Kay just watches Marc, searching for what to say, not sure if mentioning them is a very good idea at the moment, but he also didn't wanted to leave just yet.
The baby breaks the silent with a cry and Marc is fast to check on him, taking the baby in his arms and after checking the diaper, rocking in his arms. "-I think he's hungry", Marc says not looking at him and just walking to the kitchen. Kay watches from afar, before he decides to join the duo. Marc is warming up the mixture in the pot over the low heat with one hand, still holding the baby with the other, close to his chest. Kay's chest warms up with more feelings for Marc.
"-Do you need any help?", Kay asks suddenly wishing to be a part of their lives. Marc looked up at him surprised and Kay hopes that Marc doesn't consider him a shallow club dancer. "-I don't mind", Kay reassures him and after a long look in tensed silent, Marc finally nods.
"-Would you rather heat the milk or hold the baby?", Marc question warms Kay's heart at the realization that Marc would trust him with his son,
"-I'm not much of a cook", Kay says the truth, since he secretly loved the kids. Marc smirks at his answer and stepping closer places the baby in his arms,
"-Don't forget to hold the head", Marc reminds him, physically moving Kay's hands slowly to the positions that he wants them. "-He likes to be rocket", Marc adds when Kay securely holds the baby on his own, and slowly starts to sway. "-It won't take long", Marc adds, focusing back on the warming milk. Kay nods, hiding his wide smile behind the baby, slowly swaying to the imaginary music. He knows that baby takes a lot of time, cutting into your usual routine, but Kay wouldn't mind being August's third parent. The realization takes him by surprise and scares him a little, but he also can imagine that it would make him so much happier. He isn't sure how Marc would react to that, but he just has to risk and see.
When the milk is warmed up, Marc takes back the baby and holding in his hands, he feeds him. Kay is sitting nearby on the couch watching the perfect image, deciding that he should wait with the conversation until the baby is fed and Marc didn't seem to mind, both enjoying, the comfortable moment of silence. It took only ten minutes until the baby was yet again dozing off in his stroller, with Marc gently rocking it back and forth.
"-I love kids", Kay decided to say this fact about himself, in case Marc was wondering. He looked up Kay surprised, not by his statement, but that he decided to tell him.
"-Why are you telling me this?", Marc asked quietly and they both looked each other in the eye. Kay recognized emotions running in those grey eyes and knew it was not easy for him, but Kay wasn't going to help him. This step was all up to Marc. "-Kay...", Marc started but trailed of, looking away. Kay recognized the struggle, with pursing lips, twitching cheeks and blinking eyes, it was Marc, trying not to cry. Kay saw it before, when Marc thought that he was sleeping with other people. It was the moment when Kay realized that Marc loved him, cause it never hurts this much without love.
"-Are… you saying…. that you would… take me back?", Marc asked quietly and unsecure, even afraid to ask louder, not allowing himself to believe that it was possible. Kay waited until Marc looked him in the eye again, before saying anything,
"-I could consider giving you a chance", Kay said, watching how Marc's eyes sparkled with hope. "-If you wouldn't waist it and didn't expect me to always take you back", Kay said seriously, really meaning it, he couldn't go thru that pain over and over again. Marc was nodding in understanding with tears threatening to split, "-And you'd treat it like a real relationship. I'm not asking you to tell the whole town, but I'm done with the secret dates and loads of lying", Kay added seriously, with Marc still nodding and biting his lips to prevent crying. "-I'm not promising anything. But I'll try if you will", Kay added one more time and smiled at Marc's quick nodding and happy tears.
Raising his hand, Kay wiped away Marc's tears and pulled him in for a hug, which Marc met gratefully, with face pushed in Kay's neck and hands gripping tightly around Kay, like he was going to change his mind and leave him. Marc kept on crying, but Kay wasn't minding it at all, just glad to have him back.
"-If you would be able to stay quiet, maybe we could have some make up fun, before the baby wakes up", Kay jokes up, even if Marc wasn't crying loudly, but it still makes the man to laugh and pull him even closer in, if that's even possible.
They didn't have sex then, with the baby so close and easy to wake. But they did have a full make out session that left them fully satisfied, breathless, and deliriously happy. And as couple hours later Kay was dozing off for a rest in Marc's arms, he considered buying Bettina a good bottle of wine, but he doubted that she would be happy to find out that they got back together yet again.