AN/ Hey guys, Meiko here... This is all from a tumblr RP we have, we have a ton of it and hoped you like it :) Just a warning this is a mature story and does include adult themes that might be triggering. Let us know if you want more, because we have plenty of it saved - enjoy!
As always we do not own Glee, the character of Nick or Jeff. We don't own Curt Mega or Riker Lynch... obviously.
Nick breathed in and picked up his phone. He heard Jeff answer but he didn't know what he should say. Would it sound like his feelings are pushing through? He pushed his eyes shut and whispered, "Hey there, Jeff"
Glancing nervously back at the glass door behind him, Jeff felt himself instantly relax as he heard his best friends voice, he checked his older brother was asleep one more time before he answered, "Alright Nicky, what's going on?"
Nick thought silently to himself. Jeff really wanted to know. Maybe He could think of a lie. He swallowed," I-I… I am doubting Sebastian likes me" He breathed out, he wouldn't have to talk about his feelings for a certain someone.
Jeff nodded to himself and closed his eyes as he desperately trying to push down the wave of unexplained bitterness, "I was surprised. I got the impression he was into Blaine and you've never really mentioned Seb before, how did it even happen?"
"I don't know. I mean, Kurt is… a tough cookie," Nick bit back a laugh," I guess he was over the fight. We saw the two of them the other day and, well I guess old feelings never die." Nick cursed at himself. That was exactly what was happening to him. Old repressed feelings for Jeff were making a special appearance.
"Huh… I guess that makes sense." The blonde thought long and hard about whether he should respond how he wanted to, "Are you sure Seb's the kind of guy you want though, Nicky? He's fun and all, but he's a bit of a manwhore by all accounts? And if you're already worrying…" There, that wasn't to bad was it? He was just concerned for his best friend. Simple.
Nick didn't know what to say. Of course, he was making up that Sebastian might not like him. But hearing this had now made it true. He tried to suppress his tears, shut his eyes and breathed in. unfortunately there was a small hiccup in his breath. "I-I….."
"You what, Nicky?" Jeff knew he sounded annoyed but he couldn't help it, it was half one in the fucking morning… not that he was sleeping anyway, he listened for a minute and took in the slight ragged breathing on the other end of the phone, was Nick -? "Are you crying?" Nick never cried, in all of the years they'd been best friends Jeff could count the amount of times Nick had cried on one hand, "Oh, Nicky. He isn't worth it. You…" He took a deep breath, "You don't deserve to feel this shit over some guy, you know?"
Nick cried a little harder. At first, it almost sounded as if Jeff was angry with him. He certainly didn't want that. He dropped to his knees and cuddled himself a little. "I really like him though." He replied through broken sobs. That was a big lie.
Jeff felt something in him break, though he was damned if he knew what. He glanced behind him again and took in his older brothers sprawled out form, then he turned his attention back to the phone and began speaking in a low urgent voice, "I know, Nicky, I know. Breathe okay? Do you…" He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, he had no idea how he was going to pull this off, "Do you need me to come over there?"
If Jeff could have seen Nick's face it would have gone from depressed and unknowing to a mixture of happiness and worry. "Yes. I want you to come over, but I certainly don't want you to get in trouble," he replied. His voice was stern. Tears were still forming in his eyes but he couldn't be selfish and want Jeff, knowing how easily pissed his father gets. "I just need to…. I should probably…. Uh! I don't know anymore Jeff." He choked out another sobs which was unfortunately a bit loud. Jeff would have no doubt heard. He punched himself. Why is he so fucking weak.
Jeff screwed up his eyes and rubbed furiously at them with one hand, if he could just get past Jake… Devon's room was a floor up so he didn't have to worry about his little brother. His dad would be in the living room watching TV and drinking scotch. Even if he could sneak past him, he wasn't sure how he'd get back in later. But Nick was crying."Look, don't worry about me. I'll deal with it tomorrow. I'm on my way, Nicky. Stay on the phone."
Nick started to panic. He hated getting Jeff in trouble because, when he thought about it, he was always the cause. "Jeff. No please. I'll be fine." he said, but he knew he had no hope. Why did Jeff have to be so fucking persistent now! If he put this much effort in Geography, he'd be able to walk Africa and plan exactly what day he would arrive. "Nick," he whispered to himself ,"You are a shit friend"
Jeff heard Nick arguing over the phone, and he almost listened to him… but the broken tone of his normally strong friend stopped him. Jeff was used to Nick comforting him, it was his turn. He edged back into the bedroom and crept around Jake's bed, closing their bedroom door quietly behind him he headed down the stairs, avoiding those he knew creaked. A quick glance into the living room told him that he'd been exactly right about his father, but his back was to him and luck was on his side. Seconds later he was inside his car, shoulders slumping in relief. "Alright Nicky, I'm on my way. Twenty minutes tops, ten if I drive fast."
Nick didn't reply. He helped himself up and walked to his computer. It was beeping a while ago but he didn't bother. He had a message.
Sebby3: Hey babe. Don't know about our date. Blaine wants to catch up. Luvya
Reading this, Nick's tears started again. "You shouldn't do this Jeff. I am in a pathetic state. I hate myself for it! You should be at home, asleep." Nick wiped a tear. He definitely hated how pathetic and weak he was, he hates himself for crying. "Nick" he said to himself again, "Crying wont make anything better. harden the fuck up" he cursed at himself, he was talking to himself. Maybe he was going crazy.
Jeff held his phone to his ear as he drove as fast as he could to Nick's house. Realistically he knew he should hang up or at least slow down, but that wasn't happening any time soon. He heard his friends sobs pick up again and listened as Nick started to talk to him again, "I know I should, Nicky. But so should you and we both know that isn't going to happen. Now shut up and unlock your window, I'm nearly there." Jeff had never been more glad that his friend lived on the bottom floor, he didn't fancy scaling a wall.
Nick choked out a laugh. It's not like his parents would care if he used the front door, but he did as he was told. On the way to the window, he saw himself in the mirror. It was a shameful site. Red eyes and wet cheeks. "…all ready…." he whispered through the phone. He went back to his bed and brought his knees to his face. Hugging them tightly.
Jeff nodded to himself as he pulled up outside Nick's house. He loved this house, had always felt more at home here than he ever had at his own. Heading round to the side he murmured, "Here. Hanging up now." and pulled himself up through the small window - attempting to hide a wince as he pressed on a bruise that he'd rather Nick not know about - he took in his best friend, who honestly did look a state and something in his chest ached. He held out his arms, slightly awkwardly, "Come here, Nicky."
Nick fell into Jeff's arms. It all felt so right. He dug his head into the taller boys shoulder and cried some more. He felt safer then he ever could with Jeff around. He didn't hug for long, he didn't want Jeff to feel awkward. "S-sorry…"
Jeff involuntarily tightened his arms around the smaller - yet slightly older - boy, and pressed his lips to the soft dark hair without thinking, "Don't be an idiot, Nicky. Everyone cries, I've done it on you enough." His whole body was tense as Nick squeezed on old bruises but he didn't have the heart to tell the boy to stop. His phone buzzed and over Nick's shoulder he checked the message.
Fr Jake: Dad's pissed and your in trouble Choir Boy. I wouldn't like to be in your shoes whenever you get home.
Wincing, Jeff turned off the phone, "Can I stay here tonight, Nicky?"
"You're in trouble aren't you!" Nick tried not to shout. He pulled back. "It's all my fault as usual," He said quieter, "Sure. You can stay the night. Well….. morning."
Nick's face softened as he tried wiping a tear. It didn't work, the end of his shirt was drenched from wiping tears. He sat down on the floor near his bed. "You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."
Jeff was honestly confused, "Why? You're beds plenty big enough, and we've shared a bed before Nicky, I don't bite. Unless," Jeff's voice dropped, he tried to keep the hurt out of his voice, to make himself sound apologetic, it didn't work, "Unless you think Seb would have a problem with it? And yeah, I'm in trouble, but it's not your fault, I can handle it."
Nick choked the last sob he had out and said," I-I don't know….. how Seb would react. And, well your straight. I wouldn't like t-to make you uncomfortable," Nick's eyes searched the ground. He had slept on the floor on countless occasions, why should this be different. he went to the cabinet and grabbed a spare pillow and blanket for himself. He placed them on the floor and waited curiously for Jeff to get into bed. "You don't have to hide the truth Jeff." he whispered "it's always my fault."
Jeff frowned and moved to sit on the bed, staring down at his friend, "Yeah I'm…I'm straight. But I'm your best friend Nicky, I have been since we were little. I'm friends with Kurt and Blaine and even," he swallowed, "Even Seb. You know I don't give a shit about anything like that, I love you guys!" he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed, "It's not your fault, Nicky, if anything it's mine. I'm the one who pisses him off! Besides he'll ground me, maybe take away my car, it's not a big deal." Jeff lay back on the bed and wished that he knew that that was all that was going to happen, "Now do you want to talk or not?"
"I wish it were that simple….." Nick replied. Yes, he most definitely wanted to talk! But it could leave to him giving out too much. He sighed. "Jeff can I tell you something?"
Jeff nodded, lost in his own thoughts, staring up at the ceiling, "Sure, what's on your mind?"
"I think I might break up with Sebastian. I know I said I love him but….. I don't think he loves me. And you don't know until you risk it all," Nick stole a glance at Jeff then looked back to the floor. It wasn't at all comfortable, but as long as Jeff was fine.
Jeff nodded slowly, a warm feeling spread over him which he quickly ignored, "I think that's probably a good idea Nicky, he's obviously still obsessed with Blaine, though God knows why. Anyone can see that he and Kurt were made for each other." He stole a glance at Nick fidgeting on the floor, "Nick Duval get up on this damn bed. I'm not going to put up with you whining at my all day because your back hurts. If it bothers you that much I'll sleep on the floor."
Nick sat up and quickly made his way to the bed, making sure he slept at the opposite end. He didn't really want Jeff to be uncomfortable. As he lay down, he realised how short he felt next to Jeff and tried to hide his embarrassment. "You don't have anything you wish to share Jeffie?"
The familiar feeling of hot pin pricks behind his eyes warned Jeff that tears were on there way and he turned his head to one side so that Nick couldn't see, cursing himself. Why did he always have to cry? Was there anything to wanted to share with Nick? How about the fact he was fucking terrified of what would happen when he went home? That he still hadn't healed properly from the last time his older brother got "mad" at him and that he wasn't sure he could stand one of his fathers rages? Or the fact he felt like a constant disappointment to his family. Or best yet the fact that more and more recently Jeff wasn't so sure he was as straight as he always assumed. More and more Jeff had been wishing that Nick would talk about him the way he did Sebastian.
"No." Jeff whimpered into the darkness, he fought to contain the small sob that followed it, he failed.
Did Nick hear correctly? He breathed out. "I hope you are fine, would you like me to go to your house tomorrow with you?" He hoped Jeff would say yes. He hoped he could be there for Jeff, forever and always. But he always feels Jeff doesn't want him. He was almost certain he heard a sob from Jeff. He moved from the end of the bed and made his way behind Jeff. He put one arm over him and nuzzled Jeff's back with his face.
Jeff started when he felt Nick snuggle up behind him, but then he relaxed into it, it felt so natural, so right. He wanted to say yes to Nick's offer, he knew that Nick would be outraged if he knew what went on his house, Jeff knew that Nick would do anything he could to try and protect him, so fighting to keep his body from shaking with the silent sobs that overcame him, Jeff took a deep breath and attempted to make his voice sound as normal as possible.
"No, Nick honestly, there's no need. He'll shout a bit and it'll be over." Jeff grabbed the hand that now rested on his chest and stroked his thumb over it, "Thank you though I-it means a lot."
Nick kissed as far up Jeff's back as he could reach. He shook the hair out of his eyes and closed them. "Goodnight, Jeff. Remember I am here for you." One final tear streamed down his cheek as he whispered that sentence and fell asleep.
Reviews = Love.