"Things could be better, Lloyd. Things could be a whole lot better." - The Shining.

That's very much how I feel these days. Very difficult times. So I needed to post something here to remember how good it felt. Hope everyone else is doing well :)

Wrote this some years ago, back when I was only aware of Black Butler season 1, I believe. It was meant to be a one-shot and hasn't been completed, which is why I waited so long. But I've read enough stories on here by now to know that I've got enough for one chapter here. More will come as soon as I get the time to work on it.

His Butler, Voyeur

Sebastian feigned a sigh and turned his head to the side. "So it's to be just another day as usual, is it, Master?"

Ciel Phantomhive offered no response but stared at his untouched glass of wine with distaste. It was a tiny thing, really more like a sampler. But he didn't have much of a pallet for the vintage drink, so it made no difference to him.

"I realize you've never felt your birthday was a day worth remembering," Sebastian added, "but I had thought your eighteenth would warrant at least some celebration."

The young earl studied his wine glass from every angle, appearing to ignore the butler.

"It's a mark of reaching adulthood after all," Sebastian continued. "New opportunities shall be open to you from now until the day you die."

"I see nothing of interest outside my grasp, Sebastian," Ciel said bluntly, without looking up. "Anything I would want I am already capable of claiming." He took a rather large sip from his glass. Sebastian considered him a moment.

"Anything, Sir?"

"Of course."

"Even… Lady Elizabeth?"

That got the young man's attention. "What?"

"You're well aware that your intended wedding day is fast approaching -"

"Of course I do, idiot." Ciel snapped. "She's only been preparing for it her whole life. Repeatedly making a mockery of my mansion with her grotesquely girly ribbons and sparkles. And clinging to me every chance she gets." The earl sat back in his chair with a scowl. "Always spinning me about, squealing my name, and making all sorts of demands in my house as if she already had the right."

"It's just her Ladyship's way of showing she cares for you, Sir."

"It's revolting."

Sebastian stood quietly again. "So I wonder… how well would you fare at enticing her."

Ciel looked back at him.

"Enticing?" he said, distractedly.

"Cajole. Flatter. Seduce." The butler smiled at his master's uncomfortable flinch. "Returning her affections, Sir. Luring her in with your passionate talents."

"I get it!" Ciel glared at him. "I don't need to think about that nonsense, she's already obsessed with me."

"Ah yes, but can you keep it that way?"

Ciel gawked, "W-what do you mean?"

"Every lady's fondest wish is to be swept off her feet by the man she loves, and spirited away into the depths of her most romantic fantasies," Sebastian explained.

Ciel turned his head away. "I'll kiss her at the wedding ceremony."

"Kiss…"

"It is customary after all," Ciel took another sip from his glass, looking quite irritated.

Sebastian sighed, "Poor Lady Elizabeth."

"What?" Ciel barked defensively.

"All these years, so eager to feel adored by her beloved fiancé. And her reward for all the fawning over you is one simple kiss."

Ciel clenched his teeth and fisted his hands on the arms of his chair.

"Truly, the young lady will be heartbroken," the butler added woefully.

"If she really loves me as she says, then she'll be grateful enough for -"

"It's unacceptable!" The demon practically leaped toward his master, causing the boy to yelp with surprise. Sebastian continued dramatically, "My young master, the marriage bed is a sacred part of every union. Where husband and wife come together to be joined as one, deepening their bond so that their very souls might touch one another. Caressing each other with all the adoration and desire that is improper for any other's eyes to witness." He leaned forward onto the desk, face to face with the Earl. "Surely you wouldn't want your family's name to be crippled by your lack of satisfying performance toward your intended."

"I missed the part where that's any of your business, Sebastian!" Ciel yelled angrily. He scowled viciously at his servant, who calmly looked back at him. Watching.

Studying.

There was a long silence before the butler spoke quietly. "I've wondered on occasion… Are you truly in need of a more detailed explanation?"

"Wha – are you mad?!"

"Though your body and mind have visibly matured over the years, I've yet to notice any signs of, if you'll permit me… stirrings."

Ciel grimaced.

"Have I neglected you in this particular area of education, my Lord? You did not know how to dance when the opportunity arose. Do you also not know how to…?"

"I know," he seethed slowly, "what sex is, Sebastian." Ciel stared furiously at him, his jaw muscles tensing and fidgeting. His body trembled with the effort to contain himself.

"Of course, Sir." The black-haired butler gave a pitying smile. "But if your idea of adequate passion is a single kiss at a wedding ceremony, well then…" They looked, unblinking, at one another, "- As I said, poor Lady Elizabeth."

Ciel pursed his lips together, his body completely tensed. The silence in the office was overwhelming as he seriously considered slapping the demon across the face.

"Are you…" he hissed at last, "quite… finished?"

Sebastian's gaze lingered on him a moment longer, then he sighed. "I am." He straightened himself and Ciel relaxed a little.

"Forgive me, Master."

Ciel took a deep breath then let it out slowly.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider any birthday requests?"

"Oh god," Ciel muttered, bringing a hand to his head in annoyance.

"Surely a small party doesn't seem like a bad idea now?"

"I said no, and I meant it!"

"Indeed…" Sebastian muttered. "The staff have been so eager to make this birthday special for you, though -"

The study door was suddenly thrown open and a silver-haired man came bounding in on all fours before eagerly leaping into the air. Ciel flinched at the ruckus and opened his eyes to see the man clinging to his butler's side, panting excitedly. A long leash trailed from the man's neck, the other end of which was grasped tightly in the gardener's hands. The young blonde lay sprawled on his stomach.

Sebastian stood rigid and took a moment to steady his irritation. "Finny?" he inquired warningly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Sebastian!" The boyish gardener got to his feet quickly, looking very worried. "That's a bad boy, Pluto! He got away from me for only a second and I had to chase him down! He must've really wanted to see you, Sebastian, he knew right where to go!"

The panting man gave a happy yap-like bark before nuzzling his pale face against the butler's. Ciel rolled his eyes as Sebastian sighed again.

"At least he's wearing clothes this time," Sebastian said wearily, letting his hand pet the messy hair to hopefully ease the man-hound's fidgeting.

"Poor Sebastian," Ciel said without emotion. "Always the target of overexcited mongrels. It's ironic, considering you can't stand dogs." A small smirk tugged at his lips as he looked sidelong at his servant.

"It's a cruel fact indeed, my young Master." Sebastian managed to push Pluto off him so he knelt on the floor, and gave the demon hound another pat on the head. "Though some I'd consider lower than dogs."

"I assume you're referring to that bumbling reaper," Ciel said.

Sebastian smiled, "I've always thought of him as more of a monkey."

Ciel sniffed and took another sip, eyeing Pluto as he whimpered by the butler's side. "Why did you dress him in a suit of all things?" the Earl asked. "He spends most of his time outdoors, lying in the dirt."

Finny scratched his head with a small blush, "Well, uh, it's the only thing he'll let us put on him without ripping them off again."

Ciel blinked and looked at each of them, "Let me guess."

"Yes, they are my older suits, my Lord," Sebastian said. "I imagine he enjoys my scent on the fabric." He looked sour as he suppressed the urge to shiver.

"Get him out now," Ciel ordered.

"Come on, Pluto," Finny tugged hard at the leash. "You heard the master, you've gotta go back outside!"

The pale man resisted, whining and grumbling as he insisted on staying by Sebastian. The butler reached into his pocket, "I suggest you let go of that."

"Huh?" Finny blinked up at him.

"Pluto," Sebastian held aloft a crispy dog treat, immediately earning the hound's full attention – "Fetch." – and flung the treat out the open window. Pluto gave chase and leaped from the pane, out onto the garden grounds; catching the snack mid-air. It all happened so fast, Finny stumbled in the attempt to drop the leash before he was pulled out along with it.

"I think it best that you get back to your duties now," Sebastian said.

"Oh, yes Sir!" Finny stood up straight respectfully, then hurried from the room.

The butler turned back to the young Earl to find the boy staring thoughtfully off into space.

"Master?"

Ciel hesitated before frowning slightly, "Leave me now, Sebastian. I have some thinking to do."

The demon blinked at him then bowed, "As you wish, Sir."

…

Several hours later, Sebastian returned with tea and a light cake. He knocked and entered the study, to find the Phantomhive boy busily writing at his desk.

"Good evening, Sir. I've brought refreshments for you. A delightful sample of -"

"I have a task for you," Ciel interrupted.

"Oh. Yes?"

Ciel scrawled on an envelope and sealed it before holding it out to the butler, "Deliver this. And don't even think about reading it."

"Of course, my Lord." Sebastian took it and checked the address. He frowned when he saw only a name written on the envelope. "Master?"

"Is there a problem?" Ciel said bitterly. "I gave you an order. Deliver that invitation."

"Invitation?" the butler said, surprised. "I don't understand."

Ciel stopped scribbling and glared at the black-haired demon. "What exactly is it you're having trouble with, Sebastian? Find him, give that to him, and come back. Can you not accomplish that much?"

Sebastian straightened up and then bowed. "Of course, my young Lord." He stared at the floor for a moment before daring to ask, "I trust your faith in my ability to find him quickly is the reason you're assigning me this task?"

Ciel's only response was an amused smirk; a rather mischievous one at that. Not looking up from his papers, he added, "Don't dawdle, I have another order for you when you've returned."

"Yes, Sir." Sebastian left the room, glaring into the dark hallway before him.

…