Here's a bit I wrote a while back, well before finishing the series, that I thought I'd share. Feedback is much appreciated. Enjoy!
Wash plays with his dinosaurs and wonders what's going to happen to him, to Zoe, to their entire crew. There's a part of him, the part that spends his free time playing with children's toys and flying around fugitives, that loves what they do, loves the adventure, the freedom. That part of him wouldn't even be all that bothered if they got caught, because it believes they're invincible, that death and suffering aren't real things that happen to Serenity's crew, they're just excuses to go on adventures, to keep flying.
But there's another part of him that knows they're all going to die, and that they're risking themselves for nothing. He stifles that odd, grown-up side with dinosaur figures and funny voices, but it's still there, reminding him that this is life, this is serious, and he has responsibilities and a wife and he can't let himself follow his selfish instincts, because this really does matter, and he's afraid.
He's afraid he's going to have to watch one of their close calls get a little bit closer, that he's going to have to watch Jayne, or Mal, or god forbid, Zoe, make a mistake, that he'll have to watch them die. He's afraid they'll all get caught breaking the law, that they'll lose the sky's freedom forever. He's afraid to get separated from his wife. He's afraid of someday bringing a child into this world. He's afraid of dying alone.
But most of all, he's afraid of letting any of this show, because he knows that his funny-guy air is part of what keeps the crew going, that he has a role to fill and gorrammit, he's not going to let them down.
So Hoban Washburne steers his ship, and he plays with his dinosaurs, and he tries his hardest not to wonder, not to be afraid.
thoughts?