About a year ago, I PM:ed with another Swedish Fanfiction-writer about her one and only story. I asked to do it in English, and she seemed okay with the idea.
Now, a year later, when I've got half the story written down, I tried to PM her for permission, but she hasn't answered in two months and I think she's changed email or something.
But, since the story is amazing, not like anything I've read here before, I want to share it with the world, with you who don't understand Swedish.
Everything you recognize from the HP-books belongs to JK Rowling, and the story is based on Can't Fight the Moonlight's fanfiction Vi Kan Väll Kalla Henne Fröken Rödtott
ENJOY!
This day hadn't started very good. For once, Lily was actually late.
Blushing she quietly entered the dungeons, and looked around for a place to sit. It was either James Potter, the annoying prat who always asked her out, or Polly Parkinson, a disaster with potions and way too lazy to really care. Lily was surprised that Parkinson even took NEWT Potions. But, rather Parkinson than Potter…
As expected, Polly didn't do anything at all under the excuse she had burned her hands badly in herbology the other day.
About an hour later, Lily added the last ingredients to the potion, quiet content with it.
Professor Slughorn asked everybody to put down what they had in their hands, and started to walk around to inspect the potions.
"Ah, miss Evans. Brilliant as always. Good job, you two. Lupin, Potter, Black… You were asked to make a potion, not a hole in your cauldron. Wash off your faces after class, would you, you'll scare poor McGonagall do death…"
Lily wasn't really listening; she scoped up the potion with the ladle and carefully poured it into the bottle. Just then, Polly happened to turn around and made Lily spill a little over her shirt.
"Thank god it wasn't against skin…" she muttered, the potion turned you into an animal when having touched human skin.
Walking towards the table where Slughorn wanted the potions, she suddenly slipped.
"Oh, gosh, sorry Evans… we didn't mean to…" she heard Potter's excuses behind her.
Thank god the bottle hadn't smashed into the floor.
Brushing off dust from her cloak and shirt, she turned around to glare at Potter, but everybody had already left.
"Just wait 'til I get you Potter…" the last word turned into a hiss, like from a cat. Lily bent down on all four to see where the cat could possibly be, but when she'd stand up again she lost balance and had to lean herself to the table leg. Wait, what?
Down on all four again, Lily crawled (though it seemed more like walking) around in the classroom, and then she found what she looked for: a large piece of mirror glass to try potions on. The reflection was just what she had expected, but it still came as a surprise.
Instead of her own face, she saw a cat. Well, at least she was a pretty cat, with green-yellow eyes and red fur with darker brown stripes at some places. The tail, or more like her tail, ended with a dark red-brown tip, and Lily soon discovered how to control it.
And she realised, that when she had brushed off the dust from her clothes, she must've accidentally gotten the potion on her hands.
And here I thought this day couldn't get any worse… I wanna kill something! She thought, hissing.
By the time Lily reached the Gryffindor Tower, she had gotten into her new form as a cat. She felt the smell of a rat in a corner, she could see a mouse family in their hole in the wall, though it was all dark in there, and to her surprise it took her shorter time than before to get up the stairs.
On the downside, she could hear a lot more than usual, and that made it all a lot harder to concentrate. And the tail was getting on her nerves, she kept waving it and she always thought that there was someone behind her. Otherwise, she was doing pretty well.
She sat down in front of the portrait, saying the password, but it just came out as a meow. The fat lady let her in anyway, and Lily took her first high jump.
I guess I'll have to wait here until the others come back from class. Pomfrey would never let me anywhere near the hospital wing, good thing I came here first. In two hours it's lunch, and someone will find me here and I can tell them what happened and they can change me back. If they talk meow, that is…
Lily lay down in front of the fire, feeling her stomach grumble. Under the couch she found two chocolate frogs (Do cats eat chocolate? I hope I won't get ill), and on a table there was a fruit basket, where Lily could find herself a nice apple.
After half an hour of chasing the apple across the floor while trying to eat it, and then get her paws apple-ish, Lily finally had eaten her breakfast. After a moment of thinking, she drank some water from the bowl on the floor that the other cats shared.
Wasn't that bad… but I think I can taste the mushrooms Crunchy ate yesterday.
One and a half hour later the first people entered the Common Room, but nobody took much notice about Lily. She tried to punch her friends everywhere she reached, but all that happened was that Lily got her ears scratched by everyone but Alice who where allergic to cats. After ten minutes Lily gave up, and made her way down to the Great Hall instead.
Remus loves cats, I bet he'll give me something to eat… Lily thought, and walked towards him and the marauders.
"…was just genius, Prongs, amazing… can't wait to see their faces tomorrow." Sirius Black was whispering, serving himself food.
"I can't believe I let you do all this stuff." Remus sighed, scoping up chicken pie on his fork. Then he noticed Lily. "I can't remember I've seen you around… here, have some pie." He served her a plate with some pie on.
Lily meowed thanks, and started to eat, trying not to get it all messed up like the apple.
"Remus, cats are scary. I can't understand why you like them…" Peter half whined.
"Nah, cats are just fun. And most of them are real cowards. Take two steps towards them, and they jump up in a tree." Sirius said, now making everything on his plate look perfect. And then he dug in.
"You eat like a dog Sirius." James grinned. "But really, what's so wrong with cats?"
"Oufh gush ooh ah uch a earl" Sirius said, or at least that was what Lily could hear.
"Sirius, don't talk with your mouth full and don't say such things about James or I'll bite you." Remus sighed, apparently used to this. And apparently he understood what Sirius had said.
"What did he say? Moony, what did he say? What did he say about me, Moony, tell me, what did he say!?" James whined.
"He said, 'just because you are such a girl', don't kill me, he said it." Remus pointed with his fork at Sirius.
"I am not!" James yelled at the top of his voice.
So this is how they always end up running around the Great Hall…Lily thought.
"Guys, stop it. Evans will just give you detention…" Remus sighed.
That's right; you are so dead when I get out of this fur!
"Talking about Evans, she wasn't in class earlier. You don't suppose anything has happened to her?"
No, I'm all fine – I'M A CAT! Wait, did you sound concerned about me Potter?
"She got a nasty fall when she slipped. She's probably in the hospital wing, but it can't be anything serious, if she's not back today then she's back tomorrow." Remus said.
As you might've noticed, Sirius has been very quiet for a while. But, that's because there's no point for him to say much since only Remus would understand him.
Lily tried to eat quickly, and people started to laugh as she pushed around her bowl with her nose, and her face got covered in chicken pie. I really gotta work on this eating thing… but, I'll be out of this fur by tonight, Remus is smart and I've got good friends and they're smart as well. Though everyone knows that I got hurt, thanks to Potter, in Potions and they might think I'm in the hospital wing… gosh, what a mess… hey, wait. I can actually lick my own nose. Cool.
After lunch, the marauders got to class and Lily followed them. She couldn't take notes, but at least she learned something… The hours between dinner and last class for the day, Lily had searched up Slughorn, but at no help since he couldn't understand her meows, and apparently had totally forgotten about the dangerous potion they had brewed in the morning.
McGonagall wasn't much of a help either, though she really knew how to hold a cat (Lily had been held by many hands over the day, and this far she didn't like any of it) and gave Lily some snacks that tasted of salmon and roast (Now that's a weird combination… Pretty good though, but that might be because I've got the senses of a cat). Lily wished that McGonagall would transform into a cat, she was animagi after all, but all that happened was that McGonagall threw her out and went back to work.
Hagrid, who usually could understand animals pretty well, wasn't any help either since he started to sneeze as soon as Lily came close to him…
And sometime around three, a BOOM was heard over the school, and later Lily found out that the marauders had blown up Peter. No more Peter, YAAAY! Unfortunately, he survived.
At dinner Lily ate with the marauders again, she couldn't bare watching Alice's allergies coming up, and Remus happily stated that the cat liked them.
No I don't, I simply have no other option…
"Looks like we've got another marauder." Sirius said, apparently liking Lily more and more.
"I thought marauders were only boys… and that cat's a she."
"Never mind, maybe we could use her to prank people."
Like if. Never gonna happen.
After dinner, Lily tried to talk with her friends, but as expected it didn't turn out very well.
"Is the cat troubling you, Alice? Come here kitty, you can play with us instead." James called from across the room. You're so dead for calling me kitty… Lily thought as she walked across the room.
Sirius tied up some parchment in a string, and waved it in front of Lily. I've gotta stop doing that to the cat at home, gosh how annoying this is. Okay, if you insist, I'll catch it…
Lily ended up playing with the new toy for almost half an hour, it was driving her mad.
"Crazy cat coming across the room!" Sirius suddenly yelled, and threw away the string with the parchment.
Lily suddenly found herself chasing after the toy. Stupid cat instincts.
"Come back with that, kitty!" Sirius called after her. Another 'kitty' and I'll turn you into mincemeat. Whatever that is. You won't look good, that's for sure!
And that's how the marauders once again ended up running around crazily in the Common Room, only this time they were all chasing the same thing/person/cat.
"Hey kitty, wanna sleep in our dorm? You can sleep in the dog basket."
Why do you have a dog basket in your dorm? I guess I have no choice…
The four boys climbed the stairs, and showed Lily to their dorm.
It was pretty untidy, but indeed there was a dog basket on the floor. Lily sniffed at it for a while, it smelled like Sirius for some reason, but it would do.
"Kitty, you need a litter box?" Litter box? I'd prefer not. Lily tried to shake her head, but they took it the wrong way.
"Okay kitty, we'll do our best." Like that's making me feel better…
The boys managed to find an old box for chocolate and make it water proof with a charm, and then they filled it with dog biscuits and with another flick of a wand, it looked pretty okay. For a real cat maybe… I'm getting the cat at home a toilet. Where she can pee in private… Look away, idiots! Lily meowed.
Of course, the boys didn't understand her, and after looking weirdly at her, they all turned around to change into pyjamas.
Lily, you can do this. One, two… three
-- - --
When Lily was done, carefully covering the pee under the dog-biscuit-litter, she found the boys comparing stomachs. Which means, they had only pyjama pants on.
Lily quickly turned around, but she had already seen what she didn't want to see. James was really handsome, and strong as well. Oh god, you can't fall in love with him, you can't, Lily, this is madness! He's so darn handsome… must be from all quidditch… LILY! What are you thinking!?
"What's with the cat?" Peter asked, looking at Lily who was crazily shaking her head and tail.
"I'm so handsome, she's blended by me. Told you no woman being could resist me!" Sirius grinned.
"Sirius, she's trying not to look at you. That means she don't want to look at you."
"Well, goodnight then. Remus, I'll jump on your stomach if you decide to read half the night." Sirius threatened.
"Just half an hour, please…" Remus begged.
"Twenty minutes. And you have to read loud for us. Take that Pinocchio story."
Okay, that's just weird.
"No, I read you that yesterday."
"What, it's good!"
Even weirder.
"I'm not letting you play Pinocchio, and charm each others noses or draw lines so that you look like a wooden doll or scream 'I'm a boy, look, I'm a boy' and then start that silly argue about who's the most macho, and I don't care what I have do to do as long as I don't have to read Pinocchio!" Remus firmly said.
Okay, Remus really knows these guys… And I don't even want to think of the boy-fight… Lily, you're thinking of it! Get that thought out of your head! Now!
"You'll have a heavy dog jumping around in your bed." James said. What?
"And I bet James will give me some treats to get hyper on." Sirius smiled.
"OKAY, I'LL READ YOU PINOCCHIO!" Remus sounded frightened.
"Thanks, that's all we wanted." James and Sirius looked very innocent. No, really, they had their best 'I'm an innocent boy, sweet as an angel' look on their faces. And that is awesome.
God knows how this night will end… Lily sighed.
The next morning Lily woke up after a weird dream about being chased by a black dog that looked like a car. Or was it a black car that barked like a dog? Either way, it had been a really weird dream. The dog-car had barked at her, telling her that she wasn't a boy. Weird, huh?
With the boys jumping around, repeating phrases from Pinocchio for hours, and comparing chest hairs, rolled around on the floor fighting, and mostly laughing, it had been very hard to sleep. Lily buried her head in the quilt, trying to cover her ears and eyes, but failed miserably, and the two last hours she had joined their silly game of Pinocchio. One of the funniest nights of her life, she realised later on.
OoOoO
"Now, kitty, what do you want for breakfast? There's porridge, strawberry jam, fresh raspberries, and ooooh! Chocolate butter cream!" Remus exclaimed, and threw himself half over the table.
"Wednesday-Thursday." Sirius stated.
"Nooooooo… not chocolate-craving-hyper Moony tomorrow…" James whined.
Okay… I know that Severus says that Remus is a werewolf, but now who's driving it too far?
"I need him to help me with my potions essay!" James looked terrified.
"Number one on today's to-do-list: get loads and loads and loads of chocolate." Sirius said.
How are they gonna get chocolate? Next Hogsmeade trip isn't until next week.
"CHOCOLATE! Prongsie, Paddy, we've gotta go to-"Remus yelled, but was quickly cut off by James and Sirius who forced him back to his seat.
"You keep quiet. One chocolate frog for every 15 minutes you keep your mouth shut." Sirius glared at his friend.
Wow… they've really managed to hide this side of Remus…Never thought that they could be so responsible…
Remus nodded.
"Good. Now you can get yourself a chocolate butter cream sandwich." Sirius sighed.
Remus clapped his hands, silently, before grabbing the jar of chocolate butter cream, and pour most of the content onto a very small sandwich.
"Now Remus, what have we said about chocolate cream sandwiches?" James glared at Remus.
Remus looked solemn, but with a spoon he scraped off half of the chocolate mountain and dropped it out on another sandwich.
"Remus… more bread than chocolate…" Sirius said.
Never thought he'd say that… (A/N: Never thought he'd say that either, that's why I made him!)
Remus glared at him, but started to work out the chocolate butter cream on five other sandwiches.
"Man, now how am I supposed to get that potions essay done?" James whined.
"Ask Lily. Say you pay her 100 galleons, I can pay 50 if you let me copy."
I would never do that.
"She'd never do that. Where is she, anyway?"
I'm right here. Be smart for once in your life.
"Ask Mary or Marlene then. Not as good as Remus, but at least it's something…"
Oh no, don't you dare…
"Or maybe we could pay Remus with chocolate?"
Remus seems worse than Mary on her period... one plus with the cat thing, I'll miss this period! I think...
"That will take two days… and loads of money."
"Let's get Remus upstairs, and we'll go. No, Remus, don't draw silly faces on the candles…!"
Too late. And that is how Lily got to know that it really wasn't James or Sirius who made the candles look funny, they only took the blame to cover up the weirdy side of Remus.
OoOoO
James and Sirius were gone for almost an hour, and Lily was stuck in the untidy dorm with a hyper Remus who kept whining about chocolate, cuddled with Lily every ten minutes, and acted like a four year old boy.
Finally the door opened.
"Prongsie! Paddy! Kitchen eat ice cream chocolate syrup!" Remus jumped up and down.
"We'll give you chocolate syrup if you promise to try and help us with the potions essay. We'll do yours as well." Sirius said, and after rummaging in the four bags he held up a tube of chocolate syrup.
-- - --
Saturday and Sunday turned out to be the weirdest days that Lily could remember.
Remus was worse than she could ever imagine James or Sirius, begging for chocolate all the time. There's no chance I'm getting out of this fur until Remus has recovered. At least I get to see James bare-chested… NO! What are you thinking, Lily? Oh no, no, no, no… no, Remus, I don't want to cuddle you… noooooooooooo... Hey! Don't touch that!
At Monday afternoon, Remus was back to his normal self, working through a pile of homework. James and Sirius seemed relieved, but exhausted from the two last days. The only prank they did was to set off some dungbombs in the Great Hall.
"We really should give her a name. We can't call her kitty forever." James chewed his sugar quill.
Thanks, one more kitty and I'll blow like your sugar quill when you've chewed through the sugar layer! (*)
"I know! Redpaw!" Sirius exclaimed. Huh?
"Her paws are white, Sirius, white. You can't call her Redpaw when she's got white paws." Remus sighed. "James, don't chew the sugar quill, it'll just explode and once again you'll have to go to the hospital wing and meet Pommy's eyes when she realises you've blown up your mouth again. I'm not coming with you."
"I didn't even ask!" James said, and continued to chew his sugar quill.
"No, but you will. I'm trying to save time, answering before you asks."
"But, then what shall we call her? I know, let's call her Miss Redhead! She reminds me pretty much about Lily!"
Come on, think about it again and I'll be out of this fur! Wait... ARE YOU CALLING ME REDHEAD?! The human me, you call redhead? WHAT?
"When Lily comes back and hears that we call her Redhead, she's gonna kill us. She'll blow up our dorm, just like the sugar quill will blow up your mouth, Prongs…" Good idea.
"Half minute, three galleons." Sirius said, looking at his watch.
22 seconds, that's my guess.
"15 seconds, you're on! But, Redhead is a good name for her." Remus sat back in his armchair, looking at Sirius' watch as well.
"And her head really is red." Sirius grinned.
Lily playfully bit him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Everybody jumped. James' jaw was in a strange open way, and he had spit blood around him.
"Told you it was gonna explode. 22 seconds, who wins?" Remus asked, taking out his wand.
"Dunno." Sirius waved his wand to clean up the blood on his shirt.
I do. I think I shall give myself some salmon at dinner tonight. Lily thought, quickly escaping the blood by taking the stairs up to the dorm.
"I helped him to the hospital wing last time, it's your turn." Remus conjured water to wash James' mouth.
"Remus, next time, ask Pommy to give you a private lesson in healing blown-up mouths." Sirius said, cleaning up blood from the carpet and the sofa.
"She's been talking about it for a while."
A moan from James got their attention.
"Fine, I'll get you to Pommy." Sirius sighed.
Soooooooo?
(*) Yupp, in marauder time the sugar quills explodes after you've chewed through the sugar layer. For about a week, the ministry made it illegal to keep or seel sugar quills. However, the wizard community protested, and after that week it was legal to keep and sell sugar quills. A few years later, a genius named Remus Lupin figured out how to make the sugarquills non-explodable. However, as we all know, the ministry is a bunch of jerks, has always been, and they didn't let the world know that their geniuses had been outsmarted by a werewolf.
And now we all wonder how I made this fanfiction turn into a History of Magic Sweets.
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