Twiglit: A Twiglight Fanfic

(Author's note: This is a serious Twilight fanfic. I don't own any of the characters. They belong to the goddess of darkness, Stephenie Meyer, so please don't sue. I haven't even read the books or seen the movie. I like to keep my fanfiction pure that way)

Chapter 1: Twiglit

Bella "Isabella" Swan was the prettiest girl in school and also the best at maths. She had moved to the town of Forks just recently, and everyone already loved her. This was her first day at school, and already she'd been voted homecoming queen. What she didn't know was that she was at school with a VAMPYR.

Let us, dear reader, peer into the depths of her beautiful mind.

When I woke up this morning I immediately went in for a shower. I looked in the mirror and immediately turned away in disgust. I was so hideous. All the boys and girls at school kept saying I was beautiful, but I know the truth. I am a monster. A hideous monster.

After the shower I laid my clothes out on the bed, and brushed my hair. It's so straggly. I don't know why they keep complimenting it. It's disgusting. If only I had hair like that of the immortal ones. The sparkling, shimmering, lustrous ones I KNOW are out there. If only I could shine...

Suddenly, there was an explosion in the shimmering cerulean depths of my porcelain throne. As if by dark magiks, a shape began to take form. And such a shape! It glewed from within, like a firefly on lithium, like a phosphorescent statue carved out of sheer ennui. My heart leapt in paroxysms of attraction, although I could not yet see the figure's face. He smelled like chocolate chip cookies having sex with a stack of freshly minted ten thousand dollar bills. A tiny sliver of his chest was exposed through the unbuttoned top of his thin cotton shirt, and it was glowing with the unholy light of undeath, hotter than ten thousand suns.

I stared in awe. I felt my heart literally stop beating for about ten minutes. He opened one of his six mouths, and spoke to me. Just to me.

"Hello Bella. I've been waiting for you... forever."

My tongue felt cleaved to the roof of my mouth. Me? Waiting ... for me?

He was beauty personified. Our powers magnified. Fighting on the planet's side. His bladder inflated and he spoke again, a tendril reaching lovingly for me.

"Are you well, my dear? I can't tell. I can't read your mind."

"I-it's probably due to my extra chromosome," I stammered, not knowing what to say to this vision of masculine perfection and eldritch gorgeousness.

"My name is Edward Cullen, but my friends call me... well, they call me nothing, for I have none. I have needed no-one until this minute, Bella Swan. No one until I knew of you, and now you are my everything."

His eighteen jewel-like eyes twitched, and I felt a tug of desire in my sex.

"I have lived these six billion years, Bella Swan. Watching and waiting, and peering into the deepest hearts of all men. And I have seen nothing but sadness and hate and rage. But Bella Swan, I cannot see into you. The pellucid pool of your soul is murky to me. Murky and beautiful. You must be pure, and thus worthy of my empathy."

"W-what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you."

I gasped, and fainted, juice splashing on the ground.