Tittle: "We're the digidestined!" Oh brother (Myotismon's POV)
By: Mirage
Author's Note: I don't know why I got the idea to write this, I just did. So I started writing it and stopped, then I got really bored and decided to finish it and post it. Besides, Myotismon is my favorite evil digimon.
~*~*~*~
While I sit here in this digimon limbo after life place I am constantly tortured with the memory of my great defeat. I don't think it was fair at all. So I wanted to take over a couple of dimensions. Okay, so the inhabitants weren't really happy with this, it's not my fault if they go and let their wretched dimension get taken over. Hey! Do you think I wanted to spend my vacation in that drafty castle figuring out how to use some stupid cards!
It all started when those pesky kids known as the digidestined defeated that raving lunatic Etemon. Which suited me fine, the great overgrown monkey always sang quite badly. So their leader, Tai, manages to get himself sucked into some sort of dimensional rip. Which also suited me fine, I for one needed a break from his abnormally shaped mouth. So while the digidestined are off doing whatever I'm taking over Digiworld, you know the old saying, 'You snooze you loose.' Well sooner or later hair-boy had to show up again. Oh don't act like you haven't noticed. I don't know what he does to it, but there is something drastically wrong with Tai's hair; and don't get me started on Matt's.
So of course as soon as Tai's back he goes around gathering up his goon squad. I told my right hand man, DemiDevimon, to stop them, of course he failed miserably. It's not easy when you have to work with a winged bowling ball for a sidekick. Of course as soon as I get serious about defeating the digidestined I find out there's another one of those little brats running around in the human dimension.
Just what I needed, another little brat to go around stating the obvious. They used that 'We're the digidestined!' line so much it's enough to make even the most powerful evil digimon want to shout, "Shut up! I heard you the first forty-seven times!" It's bad enough with all those sappy speeches, but then you have to put up with their utterly predictable evolution scene that you want to go off and find some aspirin and sunglasses.
Of course as soon as I get to the human dimension things start going wrong. First the troops start complaining that they should get paid extra for having to find the eighth child, of course none of them actually managed to pull themselves together and actually find the little brat. Then of course that flea-bitten menace to society, Gatomon, and her boyfriend, Wizardmon, go and betray me. 'How can I betray you when I was never on your side?' Give me a break.
Then when I finally find the eighth child, and get to use my Wizard of Oz line (which I thought was quite clever), the other little brats show up and ruin it all. Worst of all I get defeated by those overgrown pigeons, Angemon and Angewomon, who for all their special effects and stupid lines still can't play poker. It's bad enough having to put up with their digivolving scene, which ten times worse than all the others, but it's when they start with those cheesy lines that you start yelling, 'Bring me a basin, I'm going to be sick!' But of course once isn't enough, noooo, we have to do it again.
And the thing with the talking crotch you've all been giving me grief about, you think I asked for that! I was forced to expose myself in front of millions of people and what did I get out of it! An all expense paid trip to digi-limbo and this killer abdominal pain. Having to be called 'Mr. Talking Crotch' for the rest of forever doesn't strike me as worth it.
Sure I got to fulfil that stupid prophecy and yadda yadda yadda, but did I get paid! Of course not! I had to put up with all those stupid lines and the humiliation and what did I get? A couple of free lunches and an IOU! We're the digidestined! Oh brother.
(Okay, that was stupid, oh well. I enjoyed writing it, no ones probably gonna read it any way.)