The Time Machine

It was a Sunday in Danville and Phineas and Ferb were watching a video with their sister Candace. Candace had a school assignment to write an essay on the creation of the universe, and so she had rented a documentary. Most of it had finished but then, the narrator, turned to the audience with a deep meaningful look upon her countenance and said "But scientists are still baffled by the question of how the universe came into existence. We still are unsure what caused the big bang, and how our universe was created" "Well that was useful" said an exasperated Candace, switching the VCR off with the remote and eating a chip from the bowl the three had been sharing during the documentary. "I mean my essay has to be about the creation of the universe, but how am I supposed to write about something nobody understands or knows about?" Just then Phineas had an idea. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do tommorow!"

Phineas and Ferb slept soundly that night, assured now of a days fun ahead. Phineas had got the idea to use a time machine to travel back to the big bang and find out what caused it. Having already designed blueprints for a time machine, they had merely to assemble it. Perry also slept quietly, and the next day, Monday, came very peacefully to Danville. Having eaten breakfast Phineas and Ferb went outside and began constructing their time machine. Isabella came into their yard with Buford and Baljeet and said "Whatcha doin'?" to which Phineas replied "Building a time machine" "Can i help?" asked Isabella. "Sure, just hand me that internal compression regulator" "That what?" "The long rectangular metal object in Buford's hand" Buford looked embarassed. "Sorry, i thought it was a toy laser sword..."

The time machine was completed by eight o'clock and they all entered. Candace, having spied on the construction the whole morning, had secretly stowed herself aboard and hid herself, armed with a video camera, in a cardboard box filled part way with styrofoam protective packing- used to hold a few repair tools. As Phineas started it up by turning the ignition key in the control panel he looked around and said "Where's Perry?"

Perry meanwhile had received information from Major Monogram that Doofenshmirtz had gone with several hundred other villains to a National Villains Convention at the Danville Convention Centre, which was sponsored heavily by Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. His mission was to spy on the villains and take down notes of what they said during the meeting.

Meanwhile inside the time machine Phineas looked about the control room at his crew. Ferb was as usual second in command, Isabella was next, and Buford and Baljeet followed. All was ready, and after a quick briefing Phineas said "And now ladies and gentlemen, we shall travel backwards in time to the creation of the universe. To discover what, if anything, existed before it, and what caused the big bang. Please hold on to your seats and fasten your seat belts, this may be a bumpy ride due to some turbulence being experienced in the 1960s". His mother and father were at work, and so had no idea of what Phineas, Ferb and their friends were doing, and so nobody but Candace was aware of what they were about to attempt. Of course she knew this would be the bust to end all busts. Camera rolling she smiled and many happy thoughts of her parents faces at the news of what her brothers had done filled her mind as the time machine began to wobble as it entered the time vortex. Phineas pressed the digit 0 on the keypad and then ENTER, and the machine began to travel quickly through time. As it did the landscape visible through the windows, which were kept large and which allowed a 180 degree view due to the bubble like nature of the control rooms design, changed. Houses began to be replaced by meadows and paddocks, and these in turn began to rapidly turn into forest and plains. Wild beasts lived their entire lives within seconds, and whole mountain ranges sprung up and fell before their eyes. Soon the atmosphere changed color, and space began to appear different. The whole universe was now in the year 55 million BC, and soon the dinosaurs would appear in all their glory and strength, roaming the land searching for trees or animals to eat. The Cretaceous period passed in minutes, and soon followed the Jurassic and Triassic periods. By now grasses had dissapeared altogether, replaced with primitive cycads. The Carboniferous period was soon passed like a level crossing by a train, in but seconds. And as the machine went further and further back in time it sped up until whole millions of years went by in half a second or thereabouts. At last, the very universe itself began to appear different. The Earth's atmosphere changed to a bright red, and the surface became actively volcanic. Lava flowed in torrents, and soon even this was replaced by a swirling of dust, growing ever thinner, until even this became just part of the dusty disc that was a proto star of the Sun. Soon even this collapsed and every star began to draw inward to a distant point and then, within a trillionth of a second and obviously quite unobservable to the eyes of Phineas and his friends, everything turned black. Phineas checked the clock. It read '0', indicating it was the exact moment the universe began to exist. "Hmm... We seem to have encountered a problem" said Phineas. Isabella looked worried and asked what it was. Buford tried to act tough, but considering his situation even he seemed nervous. Baljeet, of course, was most nervous of all, and quivered and shook alarmingly. "You see... the Universe was created from an explosion, the BIg Bang, and this happened, as all explosions do, by starting from a point and expanding... Well... our ship, whilst it went backward in time, stayed still in space... and therefore... We are thousands of millions of light years from the centre of the universe, hence where the Big Bang happened" "So..." said Isabella, "does this mean we shan't find out what caused it, Phineas?" "Well... If we activate our matter scanner, we can lock onto the space coordinates of any particular matter in the Universe and travel to it by using a loophole in the law of the speed of light. Usually, as you would probably be aware, it is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light. However, because this ship can travel through time... We have marely to travel through timespace, that is we jump forwards in time at the same time as going towards an object, and we can go faster than the speed we would go if we went towards it in real time. So I merely have to press the matter scanner button like so-" All of a sudden the machine shook quickly, vibrating and sending Phineas and his friends to the floor. But when they stood up they found what they had been looking for. Freezing the machine in time they saw a giant ball of light- the Big Bang. Technically the Big Bang happened so quickly it would be impossible to see it, but by locking onto the correct time coordinates and freezing the machines position in time they could observe it frame by frame, millisecond by millisecond.

The bang appeared like a steadily growing contained burst of light- like a bubble of boiling energy- sending vast amounts of radiation and heat into the universe- which of course existed beyond this explosion as nothing more than possibility- with the exception of the time machine which had made sure it would not be destroyed if it existed in the position it was in. After the bang had become too bright to view without sunglasses Phineas told them "We have now witnessed the greatest and most important event in history- and now, let us go back to our time- I think mom's cooking lasagna tonight" "I hope she adds lots of cheese" added Ferb, and the time machine was brought back safely to the present day. Of course the question they had set out to answer had not been answered, and they still didn't know what had created the universe.

When they got back Phineas went to find Candace to say he was sorry they hadn't found out what had created the universe, and Candace, with her video camera full of proof of the activity of her brothers, went directly to her mother when she got home from work.

"Mom, look what I caught on camera! Phineas and Ferb built a time machine and went back to the big bang, and-" "Not now dear, I've had a busy day at work... I've got a headache... I don't think staring at a bright LCD screen would help... Tommorow dear..." "But Mom..." "That's enough Candace. Go play with your brothers, I need some rest" Candace's father then added "Your mother needs her rest, Candace dear. I'll get dinner"

Meanwhile Perry had got to the convention centre, but found, instead of the villains he was expecting, Major Monogram and some fellow agents. "Ah, Agent P. We thought we'd surprise you. It's your birthday, so we thought we'd hold a party here. Nice to see you're still in tip top condition. Happy birthday Agent P!" Perry accepted some cake. After the party (Monogram had got a disco Dj and had enjoyed some dancing, as had the other agents, although Perry was a little worried his absence would soon be noted) Perry went back home and met Candace who was still holding her camera. "Oh hello Perry. I am so going to bust Phineas and Ferb. Wait till they see this footage of them going back in time!" Perry made his noise. "I'm just waiting till tommorow since mom has a headache. But tommorow I'll totally bust them" Perry repeated his noise and drank some water from a dish.

Phineas and Ferb's father cooked the lasagna and they ate it. Candace during dinner gave some angry looks at her brothers which they didn't return, thinking she wasn't enjoying the food, which had an oddly high level of chilli and garlic for lasagna. Perry sat on a chair and stood fairly still. Phineas and Ferb's mother was having a rest. All was quiet. And then Candace looked suddenly worried. "Oh no..." 'What's the matter dear?" asked her father. "Oh no... I don't think I remembered to press the record button! None of the footage I took could have been saved!" Her head fell into her lasagna. Then it came up again with a broad smile. "But of course! I did press it! Dad... I want to show you a video I shot..."

Now at this point it may seem odd that Candace is telling her father about Phineas and Ferb rather than her usual pick of her mother- and certainly it would be so if it wasn't for the fact (a fact Candace had taken into consideration) that if her father got mad at Phineas and Ferb he'd have to explain why to their mother- after all who would believe such a story without proof? So she could still get that glorious moment when her mother, putting down the video camera with a stern face, realises what Phineas and Ferb have been doing all these years.

Candace ran to where she'd left her camera. Quickly she returned and gave it to her father. He held the camera whilst Phineas and Ferb continued eating in silence, apparently unconcerned that their secret would be revealed at long last. Candace's expectant and delighted smile showed how glorious this moment was to her. "But Candace... this is incredible! I would have never thought..." "I know dad! And tommorow we can show mom!" "We certainly will dear. This is the best home movie I've ever seen! How did you shoot the time travel sequence so realistically? Those graphics of the changing landscape must have taken you ages to make dear... I'm assuming you made this film since you're the only one not in it?" "No dad! It's real! That all really happened! Phineas and Ferb did make a time machine! They did I tell you!" "Yes yes... in the movie" "No for real!" "Dear me dear... You need to have a rest Candace. All that hard work making those graphics must have exhausted you!" Candace went to bed, tired with her failure. And then it struck her! The time machine! Of course! She quickly ran down to the garage- but it had been moved. "Where have they put it?" she thought, then, racing into the back yard, she saw it in plain sight lying on the lawn. "Dad! Come see! The time machine is still on the lawn!"

Candace's father came outside and looked at the machine. "That's a well made prop!" "It's not a prop, look, come inside!" "You can go inside it?" "Of course dad! It's a real time machine!" But here Candace's luck ran dry, for Phineas and Ferb had locked it and Candace didn't know the access code. "Oh this is so unfair" said Candace.

That night Candace rang Stacy and talked about their school essay. When they got to the point about the essay Stacy asked whether Candace would finish it by the next day when it was due. "I hope you manage to write it by then" "Don't worry Stacy. I'll manage... I may have not even started... But when you see the largest explosion in the history of the universe you don't easily forget it!"

It may occur to the reader that one individual, namely Doofenshmirtz, has not apparently been doing anything this fine summers day. Well in fact Monogram was unaware of the exact date of Perry's birthday. When he noticed little activity from Doofenshmirtz he decided to hold a party for Perry, one he had pre planned. And so, indeed, Doofenshmirtz had not been up to anything evil. What had he been doing? Well let's just say even villains need to go shopping sometimes.