Dust began to swirl around on the dusty plains as a droning vworp sound began faintly sounding in the empty air. A large blue box faded into view, suddenly jerking into reality as it came to a stop. The door burst open and a man leapt out, scattering more dust as his feet hit the ground. He grinned and spun around on his heel, raising a hand to tip his newly found ten-gallon hat slightly up to better reveal his face as he took in the landscape.
"Howdy, y'all!" he shouted, disturbing a lone vulture resting in a dying tree not too far from him. The man smiled to himself, undeterred by the complete lack of civilisation, and turned back to look into the box, the relative darkness within contrasting with the harsh sunlight outside.
"Come on, guys!" he called excitedly, almost jumping with excitement. "You're gonna miss it!"
"The landscape's not going anywhere, Doctor," came the reply, a soft Scottish burr. The Doctor rolled his eyes in response.
"Well no, from a human perspective, I suppose it looks like it's gonna last forever. But this, Pond, is little more than a blip on the great timeline of the universe, and you're missing it because you're more concerned about spending time with your boyfriend!"
"Husband is the generally accepted term," replied a weary voice. The speaker emerged from the box, his head drooping slightly, and glanced around, raising an arm to shield his eyes from the sunlight. The Doctor rolled his eyes again, glad that no-one had seen him do it the first time. People kept telling him he shouldn't roll his eyes more than once a day.
"Husband, boyfriend, butler, whatever you want," he said, jabbing a finger out across the vast reaches of the plains. "But I wanna explore, and I don't want to have to wait around while you two... procreate." He turned back to glare at the box once again. "Come on, Pond!"
The third member of the group strolled out, tugging at her already loose shirt.
"Ok, Doctor, keep your hat on," she said. The Doctor made a face at her before turning away and gazing across the plains.
"So, Amy, Rory," the Doctor announced grandly, raising his arms. "Welcome... to the wild west!" He paused for effect, waiting for a reaction. He frowned at the silence.
"Um, Ponds?" he said, swinging back to them.
"What's wrong with it?" Amy said defensively. Rory sighed.
"I just think you might be showing... quite a bit of skin..." he muttered. Amy raised an eyebrow in indignation and looked down at her clothing.
"Shirt, shorts, shoes," she said. "I don't see a problem. And besides..." She leaned toward him, thrusting her chest out and running a hand down his chest.
"I thought you liked it when I dressed sexy."
"When we're alone, yes," Rory hissed. "But do you really need to go around showing off to everyone else?" Amy pouted and folded her arms, taking a step back from her husband.
"Well, if you're going to be like that, maybe I'll just stay here and have fun on my own," she replied. "See how great it is when you have to spend all your time with Mr. Look At Me I've Got A Hat."
"What's wrong with my hat?" the Doctor asked, his face falling. Rory and Amy ignored him.
"I don't mean that," Rory said. "I'm just saying, your outfit... doesn't leave much to the imagination, you know? How would you like it if I went around with my... my goods hanging out?" Amy opened her mouth to reply, but snapped shut before she could make a sound as her mind began forming a picture. A sly smile spread across her face and she leaned into Rory.
"Why don't you try it and see?" she whispered. Rory groaned.
"I'm not going to do that, Amy," he said. Amy pouted again.
"Aww, go on," she purred. Rory sighed and shrugged lightly.
"If you put something on now, then... we'll see. Later." Amy's face lit up and she dashed back into the TARDIS excitedly. The Doctor scowled and turned his back on Rory again.
"We're wasting time here!" he said loudly. "We're wasting valuable adventure time! And there is nothing wrong with my hat! It's a good hat."