Prologue
"FUCK!!!"
Harry screamed into the warm night air. No one was around, it was just him and that was how he wanted it. All summer he had been avoiding this, putting it at the back of his mind, hoping to fuck it was going to go away but after what happened tonight there was no way, denial was only so good at covering these feelings up.
He remembered it all so clearly now, hot lips touching his, a persistent little tongue exploring every little crevice of his mouth, hands wandering down a little further than they should..he was getting hard thinking about it all again.dammit. "What the hell am I gonna do, its wrong, god but it was so right when it happened. I cant even admit it to myself, what am I gonna do?!" His legs gave in and he found himself kneeling in a field surrounded by ears of corn, swaying against the purple twilight, crying his heart out about everything he had kept in. "I'M GAY!" He yelled again. "Oh my god, I said it, I'm gay. And tonight I kissed a boy.I groped a boy.I'm gay." His tears were stopping and drying in the breeze against his face. He sat there a while longer and finally rose to his feet and started walking through the fields back to the farm Sirius and he was staying on. As soon as he got to the door Sirius grabbed him and started to shake him. He vaguely heard him shouting about not telling him where he had gone and Harry apologised then dumbly climbed the stairs to his room.
"No more crying Harry, what's done is done, and you can't change it, just fucking deal." He told himself and curled up in bed, willing sleep on himself.
"We're leaving today Harry, hurry up!" Sirius shouted from downstairs. Harry grabbed his bags and flew down the stairs. "C'mon the taxi's here!" He walked down the hall and out of the corner of his eye seen Peter. Not being able to even make eye contact with him, he mumbled a 'thank-you' to Mrs Webb and followed Sirius outside and got into the taxi.
"So kiddo, good holiday??" Christ Siri was chirpy, something Harry wasn't in the mood for. "Yeah great." He said half-heartedly. "School starts tomorrow, I'm sure you'll be looking forward to seeing Herm and Ron." He suddenly perked up, yes Ron and Herm he would be able to tell them and they'll make him feel better. Suddenly the day was looking better and better, and he got onto the plane with a smile on his face.