Okay, this is my first Standoff fanfiction that I'm publishing. It also happens to be the first live action fanfiction that I'm publishing. So a lot rides on how well this fic does. I may upload more, depending on how everyone likes this one. I wrote this a one in the morning and set to a Josh Groban song, so it may sound a bit corny in the daylight and minus the soundtrack. I put the lyrics at the top of the page, but without the notes, it just isn't the same. Anyway, happy reading! Hope you like it!
Now Or Never
I watch the morning dawn upon your skin, a splendor in the light
It caught and frayed the very heart of us,
It's been hiding there inside us all this time
How a sure thing winds up just like this, clockwork silence only knows
And its no one's fault, there's no black and white
Only you and me, on this endless night
And as the hours run away, with another life
Oh, darling can't you see, it's now or never
It's now or never
Sweeping ancients (?) still at three am, we're trying far too hard
The tattered thought balloons above our head,
Sinking in the weight of all we need to say
Why's and what it's have since long played out,
Left us short on happy endings
And it's no one's fault, there's no black and white
Only you and me, on this endless night
And as the hours run away, with another life
Oh, darling can't you see, it's now or never
It's now or never
You know that there's so much more
And it's no one's fault, there's no black and white
Only you and me, on our final night
And as the hours run away, with another life
Oh, darling can't you see, it's now or never
It's now or never.
-Josh Groban
The bitter cold of winter rarely reached as far as Los Angeles. But cold can be more than temperature. The bitterness of winter soaked through a pair's relationship until it became as fragile and easily snapped as a small twig that still clung to its tree despite the heavy snow weighing it down.
Finality rang through the air as they stood facing each other. The black night closed in around them at three am. Emily was crying. Matt barely kept it together.
They wondered how sure thing wound up like this. Silence was the only answer. Neither spoke as the minutes ticked on. There was too much to say. Every time the silence was broken they only rambled on about nothing, saying so much that was on their minds, but nothing that fixed anything. A happy ending no where in sight. They came back to how they reached this point. The point where if it wasn't resolved by the end of the night, it would be their final night. It was now or never…
That morning was as a dream, as many of their mornings together began. The light of dawn broke through the window. Matt was awake first. He watched as the sun illuminated Emily's pale skin and dark hair until the alarm rang, waking Emily and starting their day.
The air was oddly cold for LA despite a bright sun. The couple held hands through the streets and up the steel elevator to the floor. The doors opened to bright white light streaming through the tall glass windows. Only at the end of the too short hallway from the elevators to the desks where the other agents sat, alone, did they part, their hands remaining connected for a moment, unseen sparks flickering through the connection. They were both smiling. The desks were almost empty. There was no one to see them. Before breaking the connection between their fingertips, Matt pulled Emily in, kissing her for what seemed like an eternity. Time stopped, specially for them. But time had to start again. The minute hand on the clock moved and they broke apart, Emily to find Lia, Matt to turn in their reports from the previous day.
They were inexplicably happy. Nothing could bring them down on that bright day.
The sun set at four thirty, due to the early winter times. At four forty six they leaned side by side against Cheryl's desk with Cheryl herself across from them and Lia tucked off to the side. It was just the four of them alone on the entire floor. Everyone had gone early.
"You guys are on fire lately." Lia said. "I mean you're always good, but today you were great." The pair exchanged a glance, smiling in their dreamlike bliss. The entire day had passed in a cloud, barely leaving a trace besides a fading memory. Cheryl was nodding.
"A perfect partnership." She said. "Despite all…personal conflicts, you guys are still the best team in the office." She smiled.
"Thanks, Cheryl." Emily said. "It means a lot, coming from you."
"I suppose my first instincts were wrong. I didn't think you would be able to handle it. And there were a couple times when I thought all would fail and leave us all in trouble." She seemed to look grim for a moment. "But you handled it all perfectly and have even become a better team." Time slowed in anticipation for her next words. "Maybe if Matt and I had gotten past that first time we would have been as good as you are." Time stopped for the second time that day.
Emily froze, the smile slipping from her face. She took a step away from her partner.
"What?" She said, hurt in her voice. "What is she talking about?" Matt couldn't stand the pained look in her eyes. Cheryl and Lia were silent, falling away from awareness.
"Emily," Matt started, feeling that happiness that had made them float through the past few weeks fall away. "It was just one time." The second the words were out he knew they were no good. Emily pushed past him, flying out of the office. "Emily wait." He followed her, leaving Cheryl and Lia alone in the deadening silent.
That was how they ended up here. Standing across from each other. Trust was called into question, lies were revealed, and a relationship was strained to fragility. It all depended on this endless night.
"So, do you sleep with all your female partners?" Emily asked through her furious tears.
"Emily, me and Cheryl, we never had anything. You have to believe that, if you believe nothing else. Believe that it was nothing like what you and I have." She was shaking her head.
"I don't even know what we have." She said. "The way I see it, we have nothing more than what you and Cheryl had, only we've dragged this on for months. And feelings have gotten involved. My feelings, Matt."
"My feelings are involved too. Don't think you are the only one that will be hurting if we don't talk about this."
"How could you just lie to me about this? I asked you once, if you ever had anything with Cheryl. All you said was that was a reasonable assumption." Emily raised her hands to brush her hair behind her ears, and found that she was shaking. "I just can't believe that I thought that answer meant that you didn't do anything, that you were joking about it. You laughed, and I believed you."
"Emily, that happened almost six years ago. It was a single, solitary, isolated time and I didn't think either of us would ever mention it." The minutes dragged on in another impenatrable silence.
"But why didn't you just tell me?" Emily said, glistening tears streaking down her face in the illumines moonlight.
"You had been feeling insecure about our relationship, and my relationship with Cheryl. I didn't want you to freak out. Because it was nothing."
"But if it was really nothing why didn't it come up at another time? And what else are you hiding from me, if you're hiding that you slept with our boss. It just adds up, and I don't think we can deal with this tonight." She grabbed her black jacket. She walked to the door, opening it without another word. Matt followed her, pushing it closed.
"We have to get through this, Emily. Because if you walk out of that door right now, you know that we won't be here again. We will never be able to pick this back up. We talk through this now, or we never talk again. And not because either one of us wants it, or that we won't try. But this will remain a black mark on our relationship. It will spread like a disease, and it will destroy up. Unless we take care of it now. It's now or never…" Emily stepped away from the door.
"But this is so hard." She said quietly.
"If it were easy, it would hardly be worth having." They found themselves in the exact same spot as they had been for hours now. Someone had to step up and fight for this relationship. Or else it would never work. They would walk away, falling into the crowds of people who had brought relationships to the breaking point and had done nothing to save themselves before the drowned.
"Emily." Matt pushed her hair behind her ear, something she had neglected to do. "You need to know one thing before you decide if you want to weather this relationship or not. We've both come close to it before, but neither of us has had the guts." Emily raised her head, gazing into her partner's eyes. "Emily…I love you."
As the dawn broke in the east, they kissed, as beautifully as they had that morning in the blissful light. It tasted even more sweet, for as Matt said, nothing easy was ever really worth having. Relationships were hard. They can break with the slightest pressure. But if the couple has what it takes, has that love, and a little luck they can make it through. Because even if it gets hard, one of them will rise, accept the challenge and fight for the relationship. They will fight to the death, and they won't let themselves fall into oblivion. They won't just become another pitiful statistic. They will rise, and pull the other with them into the sunshine where it still may not be easy, but it was beautiful.
The End
BalletPhantom
December 27, 2006