Where Ron Keeps His Wand and How It Really Broke.
Title: Where Ron Keeps His Wand and How It Really Broke
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Harry Potter universe. Also, credit for the idea goes to a few of my friends as well.
Characters: Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger
Genre: Humor
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none really
Summary: Ron breaks his wand…. But lies about how he did it.
Author's Notes: So, this idea came to me and a couple friends when we had a huge conversation on where exactly wizards keep their wands. One of us mentioned that we know exactly where Ron kept his, and that just escalated… to something along the lines of this fan fiction. Enjoy!
The world has been told a lie, a whopping lie, a lie that will forever be known to some of us as the Biggest Harry Potter Scandal Ever.
It began on a crystal clear night in Privet Drive; the twelve year old Harry Potter was sitting, locking in his room, when there was a roar. Ron Weasley and his twin brothers had arrived in a flying car! Now, on any normal day this might seem strange, but for the Weasleys it was just another adventure to be had. The only difference was that this time around there was actually good to come of it, for they were rescuing Harry from a slow and painful death by starvation and owl bites.
Soon, The Boy Who Lived was rescued and the quartet was on their way through the skies of London.
But all of this is just boring words, let me continue my story.
When the flying car and all of its inhabitants arrived back at the Burrow, something happened that has never been mentioned before. Ron Weasley got a letter; a letter, it seems, from Hermione Granger, the girl he so obviously pined after, even though nobody could see it.
Before I continue onwards let me tell you a bit about his wand.
You see, Ron had always had the age old problem of where to put his wand. Sure, his school robes had pockets, his bag did too, but what to do at home? If he left his wand just anywhere around the house Fred and George would swap it for one of their nasty little fake wands. So really, he had nowhere to put his wand, except... he was a boy, and he wore baggy jeans just like any other boy his age. Maybe, just maybe, there was room somewhere for his wand.
There was.
The epiphany that there was, in fact, somewhere to keep his wand close at all times, kept Ron happy. All he had to do every morning was pull on his clothes and slip the wand down his jeans. Nobody could be the wiser!
Of course, Ron was never to know that on one fateful day before leaving for Hogwarts he would receive a letter from Hermione that was late in coming.
Here's how it went; Ron received the letter at approximately eleven that night, but was too tired to see that it was from Hermione. As it happened, he got out of bed later in the morning than everyone else in the house, leaving him to read his letter in peace.
On came the clothes, away the wand went into that huge pocket that was his pants, and out came the letter.
There Ron sat, beginning to read his letter from Hermione Granger, when snap, at the first two words of the letter "Dear Ron," his wand broke.
He will never ever say why it broke then; in fact, he never told anyone that it broke before the Whomping Willow ever came along.
But everybody who reads this will know what happened; I shouldn't have to tell you why. Remember, Ron had the definite beginnings of a major crush that would last years, and his wand was in his pants.
That enough information for you?
Good, on with the story!
Ron was highly embarrassed to eh... have broken his wand as he did and he kept silent about it the entire car ride to King's Cross Station, even keeping the unfortunate incident quiet as they arrived at Platform 9 ¾.
Then, the words that would both haunt him and make him smile for the rest of his life, "We can fly the car to Hogwarts!"
Fly they did, the entire way to the Hogwarts grounds, until WHOMP, they hit the Whomping Willow. There were a couple minutes of complete and utter confusion, terror evident on the faces of both young boys.
It was the perfect time for Ron and he held up his broken wand with feigned shock and surprise etched upon his face, "My wand; look at my wand." There couldn't have been a better time to announce the breaking of his wand by any other means but the truth.
Nobody would ever know how Ron really broke his wand, until now that is.
Sorry Ron.