Welcome to the third installment in the Datz a Family series!
Just as a reminder, you can also find me over on tumblr under "datzafamily", where I post status updates on new works, reblog rad art, and spend too much time thinking about the timeline of this universe. For reference, this takes place about two and a half years after Datz a Family.
The sky was overcast and it threatened to rain, and Armie peered out the window with concern on her face. She tugged at the nice silk blouse that she wore over her jeans, and again she tried to acclimate herself to wearing something so different from her usual soft camo clothes.
Her attention turned towards the sounds coming from her father's bedroom and she sighed. He'd been in there for nearly 45 minutes trying to decide what he would wear, and she knew that the stress of the situation was likely only aggravating his ability to make a decision.
She knew she had to step in before he spent all day there and missed his chance.
She quietly padded down the hallway to his room and knocked on the door. "…Dad?" Her voice was soft and hesitant. "We need to get going."
Datz jumped at the sound of her voice and turned to face her. "…hey, Kiddo," he greeted her. "Sorry, I…got a little caught up, I guess."
Armie noticed a pair of jeans on his bed, slightly wrinkled as if he'd worn them and then taken them off in a moment of indecision. There were a few t-shirts in various states of disarray, and she was sure that she saw the single button-down shirt that he owned in that mess somewhere. Despite the many clothing items around the room, he was wearing his usual army-style pants and a white t-shirt; Armie noticed his overshirt and scarf hanging on the doorknob. If she wasn't so worried, she would tease him about who was actually the teenager out of the two of them, spending forever picking an outfit.
She took the combat green jacket in her hands and strode over to him, handing it to him. "Dad," she said softly. "He's…not going to care what you wear, you know." Datz tensed a little and Armie instantly regretted saying something. She understood his stress – she had been through it only months before, after all. But she knew that he would sit here and muddle all day if she let him. "Come on. We're supposed to be at the palace in twenty minutes."
He nodded, face solemn as he accepted the shirt and tugged it on. "Yeah. You're…you're right." He tried to ignore the minute tremor to his hands as he clipped together the buckles and pulled on the scarf. Armie waited patiently as he laced up his boots, trying not to fidget and adjust her shirt once more.
When he finally stood, she reached out for his hand. She didn't know what to say, but the words weren't so important. Datz gave her a tired smile and took her hand. His nerves were starting to get to him, so he was grateful for her grounding presence.
They walked in silence together, not needing words. Armie wasn't even sure what she could say to him, noticing that he had a faraway look to his eyes. She knew how important this day was to him, but seeing her father in so much distress was difficult, and she felt his pain as acutely as her own.
It seemed like forever before they reached the palace, and Datz paused at the entrance. Armie looked at him and gently squeezed his hand. "Come on," she whispered softly. "We can do it together."`
They entered together and Datz tensed again when he saw that Rayfa and Nahyuta were already waiting, and Apollo stood next to the fair-haired man. Amara stood a few steps behind them, looking as regal and beautiful as the day that Dhurke had met her. Her hair fell down her back in the same gentle white waves that her son had, and her face held the same unyielding gaze as her daughter. Datz swallowed a little nervously.
"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said, and he sounded the most solemn that Armie had ever heard. She gripped his hand a little tighter.
Rayfa, now a serious girl of seventeen, lifted her chin at Datz. "Air Head!" she declared angrily. "How dare you keep Queen Amara waiting? This is something that you requested, is it not? And she has graciously agreed to grant you this favor, and you cannot even - !"
Amara cut her off by gently raising her hand. "Rayfa," she said, and even her voice was as mild as the rest of her demeanor. "It is alright. I believe we were not due to start for a few minutes, correct?"
Nahyuta tilted his head towards his mother. "The meeting time was 2:00 PM, so we have not quite reached that time," he agreed. "Though it would behoove you to arrive to places early, Datz."
Apollo fixed Datz and Armie with a solemn look of his own. "I think they get it, Nahyuta," he said quietly. He knew that because the queen was Rayfa and Nahyuta's mother, it was going to be harder for them to sympathize. Apollo, who wasn't actually a child of the queen, was able to disconnect a little more and recognized that Datz had likely struggled with even coming to the palace today.
Datz nodded in return, looking properly chagrined. "You're right. Again…I'm sorry," he said, voice still strained and low, and the princess found her shoulders tensing. Of course she wanted him to take this seriously, but the fact that he was actually doing so was…immensely unsettling. It was so unlike the man that she had come to know over the years, and she was at a loss for words.
The older man, still holding Armie's hand, stepped forward and gave Amara a stiff bow, like he didn't know how to act in front of her in a situation like this. When she had been married to Dhurke, things had been easy. He would rib Dhurke about why a beauty like the queen would ever go for a chump like him, Amara would fix him with that look that Datz swore Dhurke adopted from her, and they all laughed. But now…nothing felt right.
Armie sensed the awkwardness and gave a little curtsy of her own before speaking a phrase that she had learned years ago. "Ur dihara Amara," she whispered, her cheeks almost instantly heating up in embarrassment. Should she have said anything at all?
Amara gave her a gentle smile and a nod in return. "Your daughter is growing up beautifully, Datz," she said, raising her gaze to the other man. "You should be proud."
Datz's stance relaxed considerably and he placed a hand on Armie's head, though he did not rustle her hair for fear of messing it up. "I am," he said warmly. "Thank you."
Rayfa drew herself up a little taller and inserted herself into the conversation. "Mother. Perhaps we should begin."
Amara nodded. "I agree. Now…would you all like to see him at once?"
Datz saw an out and he leaped on it. "Oh! Um…why don't I step out and let the kids, um…"
Oh Holy Mother. He couldn't put words to what they were about to do. He couldn't even bring himself to say "let the kids speak to him first". His stomach twisted in knots and he tried to ignore Armie's stare. "I'll, just, um…"
Amara inclined her head a little, recognizing his tension and deigning to let it go for now. "As you wish."
Datz turned away, trying to ignore the stares of Rayfa, Nahyuta, and Apollo as he held onto Armie's hand and walked her out of the room. His pace quickened as they exited and he made his way out into the main hallway. As soon as they were clear, he sat down, pressing his back against the wall. His face was pale and a cold sweat broke out across his forehead.
Armie knelt next to him, concern clear on her face. "Dad…what's going on?"
He laughed shakily, pressing his hand to his forehead. "I can't do it," he said. "I…this was a mistake." He felt absolutely ridiculous – he'd asked for this, after all, hadn't he?
She settled against his side, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Dad…" She sighed softly through her nose. "Don't you remember how scared I was to talk to my parents?"
Datz slid an arm around her, remembering that sweltering day in Kurain Village not that long ago. He remembered holding Armie as she tried to decide whether or not she wanted to ask Maya and Pearl to channel her parents.
He nodded. "I do," he said quietly. He knew what was coming from her next; he remembered his words.
"It's your choice, kiddo," he said gently. "You might want the closure someday. But I'm behind you no matter what you want to do."
"You told me that it was my choice," she said. "And it's the same for you, Dad. It's your choice." Armie wrapped her arms around one of his and gently squeezed it in a hug. "I'm behind you no matter what you decide."
He dropped a quick kiss to her temple and nodded, tugging her close. "Thanks, kiddo," he whispered. It didn't make his decision any easier, for sure. Right now, he was glad to know that he wasn't being pressured to make a decision…even if that meant the choice was completely on him.
They sat together in silence for nearly half an hour before Apollo appeared from behind the door. "Hey," he greeted softly, hands in his pockets. "So…Rayfa and Nahyuta are just finishing up. Do you still want to speak to him?"
He understood. Really, he got it. The first time he'd finally decided to speak to Dhurke after Amara channeled him had been…rough. And like Datz, he hadn't been sure if he wanted to go through with it. He didn't blame the older man whatever he decided, but they did need an answer.
Datz stood and Armie scrambled to stand with him. She looked up at him, patiently waiting to hear the conclusion at which he had arrived. The older man took a deep breath, squeezed his daughter's hand, and gave Apollo a crooked, tired smile.
"Think it's time," he said softly, and Apollo nodded.
"Alright," he said. "I'll let them know." He turned and headed back in to the Channeling Chamber.
Datz nodded, suddenly feeling that pit of nerves in his stomach again. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all…
Armie clutched his hand tighter, startling him out of his thoughts. "Don't do that," she said, frowning lightly. "You're going to psych yourself out." She drew herself a little taller to her full height of 5-foot-2 and pointed at him with her free hand. "Get it together, Corporal. A dragon never yields!"
It felt weird to say his signature phrase, but she knew that it brought him strength during the rebellion, and that Dhurke had said it frequently. And in that moment, it felt like the right thing to say.
Datz's countenance immediately changed. He stood a little taller as well, but his lips curled in a gentle smile as he looked down at her. She rarely called him Corporal anymore – one of the side effects of the teenage years dictating that she question everything she had ever done as a child – but occasionally when one of them needed to get the other to shape up and fly right, the old nicknames came out. And now, it had its intended effect: he felt his strength returning.
"Yes, ma'am, Sarge," he grinned, giving her a small salute. She really was a pillar of strength for him, and she didn't even know it. Who was the adult? It was a question that he used to jokingly ask, but found that the older she got, the more frequently he had to ask it – and the more seriously he had to take the answer. But for now, that could be put aside. "Thanks, kiddo. I think…I think I'm ready," he said, his expression serious.
Armie nodded, but did not move to take the first step. That had to be on him. "Alright," she agreed. "I'll wait here with Private Jus – Apollo, then," she corrected herself.
Datz slung his arm around her shoulder and began to lead the way towards the Channeling Chamber. "No way," he said, still smiling. "I want to introduce you as my daughter, so you've gotta be there!"
She was surprised – not to mention a little nervous about the idea – but she knew she couldn't show weakness or nerves, or Datz might take it as an out. "Sure, Dad. That sounds good," she agreed instead.
Rayfa, Nahyuta, and Apollo were waiting outside of the Channeling Chamber as they approached. Rayfa's cheeks were slightly splotchy, as if she had been trying not to cry, but her expression was still stern as she saw Datz. "Air Head," she said with a tilt of her head. "Yet again, you keep everyone waiting. Have you no respect for our time?"
Apollo tried to intervene. "Your Benevolence…"
But after a long moment, Rayfa seemed to reconsider her lecture. "We can…discuss this later, I suppose," she relented. "I believe you should go in now."
Datz gratefully smiled, giving her a little bow. "You're too kind, Your Benevolence." There was a light tease to his voice, and she balled up her fists. It looked like she was thinking about exploding, or perhaps throwing something at him, but Nahyuta stepped between them.
"Your Benevolence," he said. "We should allow Mr. Are'bal and Miss Buff the same privacy that they allowed us. We shall wait for them to return." Smoothly he led them out of the hallway. Apollo lingered just long enough to give Datz a pat on the shoulder before he left as well.
Datz led the way in to the room, but he was caught off guard by the sight of the man kneeling in the middle of the chamber. It was definitely Dhurke, though the white hair and Amara's clothing threw Datz off for a moment. He faltered only for a moment before continuing to walk to the middle of the room. When he reached the cushions waiting in front of Dhurke, he carefully knelt and settled on one of them. Armie followed suit, torn between looking at her father and looking at the man in front of her.
"…hey, Dhurke," Datz said after a long moment. He forced himself to look up and meet the other man's gaze. "It's been a while."
The grin he received in turn was so familiar that it almost hurt Datz. "It has been a while," Dhurke agreed. "So, Datz…I hear that you've been busy these past few years."
His tone was light, but Datz felt guilt creeping up his spine anyways. The past few times that Amara channeled Dhurke, Datz had carefully found a number of reasons not to be there. And he could never explain exactly why.
It was like the finality of things was too much to bear.
"Yeah, well…" Datz smiled a little, reaching out to rest a hand on Armie's head. "Things get a bit busier when you've got another mouth to feed, yeah?"
Armie blushed a little and sat up straighter, feeling as if she had to make a good impression as well.
Dhurke's laugh filled the otherwise-silent Channeling Chamber. "Armie Buff," he greeted warmly. "You've really grown! I remember when you were a tiny little thing with your blue camo pajamas!"
Armie tried not to think about how fresh that memory might be, based on what little she understood about channeling, and instead moved the conversation forward. "Yeah. Um…I outgrew those a few years back…" She giggled nervously and ran a hand through her hair. Well, it wasn't like he knew a whole lot else about her, so she'd give him a pass on this one.
Datz threw his head back and laughed. "Almost overnight, too," he said. "I swear they fit her fine when she went to bed one night, and by the next morning she'd shot up like a weed and they didn't fit anymore!"
She buried her face in her hands, trying to hide just how red she was. "Oh, Holy Mother, Dad," she protested. "Will you talk about something else already?!"
Both men chuckled for a moment about it, and Armie continued to wish that the floor would open up and swallow her whole. But eventually they decided to give it a rest and they turned to a different topic.
"So you're finally settling down," Dhurke grinned at him. "An apartment of your own and a kid to boot! I never thought I'd see the day."
Datz tried to ignore the pain low in his gut that told him that Dhurke technically hadn't seen the day. "Yeah," he managed instead. "What, I'm almost 50 now? Figured it was about time."
Dhurke's grin turned a little more knowing as he leaned closer. "But the only thing I don't know is if there's a lady in your life," he teased. "So, how about it? Find a lady who's fallen for your wily charms yet?"
He laughed a little nervously and looked away. "Nah, I'm not really thinking about that," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Besides, I haven't met a woman who could handle all of this!" Datz gestured to himself with a wave of his hand that reeked of masculine bravado.
Armie looked distinctly unimpressed by the motion. "Yeah, he's crushing hard on that doctor from the hospital," she filled in dryly. "He's just too afraid to say anything to her. Man up, Corporal!" She punched him in the shoulder with a little more force than was necessary.
He yelped and gripped his shoulder, looking positively wounded by her accusation. "It's not like that with me and Sawbones!" he protested. "She's just a friend!"
Now Dhurke's smile was positively wicked. "Hah-ha-ha! That surgeon? I remember her! Well, I wish you the best, my friend. You're not getting any younger, you know!"
It was Datz's turn to bury his face in his hands. "It's not like that," he protested, but the way that Armie and Dhurke were exchanging smiles like that War'baad that had just scared the tourist told him that his words fell on deaf ears.
After their chuckles had subsided, Dhurke's face turned serious. "Datz…I need a moment with your daughter. If it's alright with you, of course."
Datz and Armie exchanged a glance. They were both unsure as to what would have prompted this; it wasn't as if Dhurke knew Armie particularly well. They'd only met once, after all. "'Course," Datz said slowly. "I'll just, uh, wait outside, then?" He stood, ignoring the screaming of his poor legs from sitting cross-legged for so long. God only knew how Armie had held a traditional seiza position; the girl had nerves of steel. Maybe literally.
Dhurke nodded. "It won't be long," he said. "There's just something I'd like to ask her."
Armie watched Datz leave and felt nervousness in her gut. But she turned her gaze back to Dhurke. "Um…" She wasn't exactly sure what to say, but Dhurke picked up the slack of the conversation.
"You really have grown," he said, a bit of a wistful smile on his face. "I remember the trial…and I remember how you raged at my son for defending the man who you thought killed your father."
Armie looked down at the floor and sighed softly. She remembered, too. It definitely made for some awkward moments when Datz began to visit her at the orphanage. Though he had been acquitted of the crime, she still carried some lingering uncertainty for quite a long time. It had taken a few long conversations before the air was clear between them. "That's behind us," she said quietly. But she sensed he had more to say.
Dhurke sighed and placed his hand on his chin. "Has Datz told you about how things have changed in Khura'in over the past…" He seemed to be thinking for a moment, doing the math in his head. "Twenty-five years?"
Khura'in's past was something that Armie and Datz had discussed, but not in-depth. She had asked a few times, as the Founder's Orb had been the turning point of the country's history, but Datz's face darkened and he had given her as few details as possible – likely to spare her from the bloody history of the Defense Culpability Act, but it meant that Armie didn't know much.
"A little," she said. "I got the gist of it."
Dhurke nodded. "Things are better than they have been," he said. "And Khura'in is on its way back to where it used to be. But…" He sighed, his eyes serious as he watched her face. "It would not have happened without the Founder's Orb. And it would not have happened without your father."
Armie tensed, her shoulders hitching up to her ears. She felt guilty admitting it, but Papa was no longer a constant thought on her mind. She no longer cried herself to sleep, and her nightmares had greatly dwindled over the years. But seeing Dhurke before her took her back to that terrible day, where everything had come to a head. She bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears.
"I apologized to you that day," he said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "But please, let me repeat myself." His eyes were serious as he watched her face. "I am so sorry for your loss, Armie. I am sorry that your father died in the name of Khura'in's corruption."
She gave a shaky sob and tears ran down her cheeks. She hadn't thought about it for a long time, and now he was bringing everything back to the forefront. Suddenly there she was, 12 years old again and crying in her room while trying to mow down Dhurke and Apollo with her drone, sentencing them for the crime of reminding her of her parent's deaths.
Datz leaned against the door, hearing his daughter's cries and wanting to burst back in there. And as much as he cared for Dhurke, he was about ready to tear the man a new one for making her cry like this. His hand was on the doorknob before Armie's voice gave him pause.
"It's not fair," Armie suddenly blurted, her quivering hand coming up to her mouth. Her sudden outburst made her feel very childish, but it was the only thing that seemed right to say.
Dhurke smiled sadly at her. "No," he agreed. "But unfortunately life is so rarely fair."
"I wasn't the only one who lost somebody that day...the princess…the queen...Nahyuta...A-Apollo, too..." Armie swiped her hands across her face, trying to stem the tears. "Why…why did everybody have to die?"
It was a question that Dhurke didn't have an answer for. He had always called for bloodless revolution, and he knew that there had been no blood shed by the Defiant Dragons. And yet three people had been left dead over the fight for the Founder's Orb, himself and Armie's father included. The only answer that he could think of – because not everyone has the same ideals – was a rubbish answer that he knew would bring her no solace.
But her next words caught him off guard. "I thought I was the only one left alone," she managed. "But...Dad lost everybody, too...he only had you, didn't he?"
Datz's hand dropped from the doorknob in shock. They had never spoken explicitly about it, but it appeared that she was far more intuitive than he had given her credit for.
Dhurke was surprised by how much the girl's words and heart affected him as well. He had to swallow before speaking again. "He has the boys," he reassured Armie. "He's not alone. And, most importantly..." He leaned across the space between them and tapped her nose. "He has you."
She started slightly at the tap before staring down at her hands folded in her lap. The seiza position wasn't entirely comfortable to hold, but she was afraid of risking the princess's wrath for disrespecting the sacred rite of channeling if she moved. She tried not to think about it. "...Mr. Sahdmadi?"
He seemed genuinely confused for a moment until he realized he was being addressed. "Come now," he tried lightly. "Your father is one of my closest friends. I think you can call me by my first name, at least. Mr. Sahdmadi was my father." He gave a deep chuckle. "You could even call me Uncle Dhurke if you wanted."
Right. Like that wasn't weird as hell to think about. "Okay...um, Dhurke?" Well, that didn't feel right either. But it would have to do. "...Dad really misses you," she finally said. "He doesn't say it, but I know." She raised her gaze back up to his. "He struggled with asking Queen Amara for this at all, and I think he only did it because the princess, Apollo, and Nahyuta did too."
Dhurke took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm not surprised," he finally said. "Datz wears his heart on his sleeve. It's why I couldn't tell him the truth."
From the other side of the door, Datz felt his chest tighten.
"He's too genuine. It's one of the things I've always admired about him." Dhurke laughed quietly. "I couldn't burden him with the knowledge that I was already dead. He would have tried to carry on, but anyone who knew him well would have noticed something was wrong immediately. And it would have gotten out…"
Datz closed his eyes. It wasn't the answer he wanted to hear...but now he had some closure. He knew now why he hadn't been told. And Dhurke was right. He was terrible at hiding the truth. PW had so easily seen through his lie about leaving the rebellion, and he barely knew the man.
It stung, but it was a truth he could accept.
His daughter's voice drew him out of his trance.
"You're wrong," she said quietly, eyes blazing as she looked up at the imposing man before her. "Yes, I can usually tell what Dad's thinking - when he's trying to hide something that's wrong, or when he wants to laugh about something but knows it's not a good idea. But that doesn't mean he would have told anyone about you." She wanted to look away, but held his gaze firmly. "...Mr. Wright once told me that Dad knew he had to be strong for the rest of the rebellion because it might fall apart with you gone."
Dhurke fell silent and just listened to what the girl had to say. He had only briefly met her in person when she was younger, but that fire of strength in her hadn't faded in years past. He wanted to hear her words.
Armie tilted her head slightly. "And Apollo, and Nahyuta..." She swallowed. "Not to mention your daughter and the queen...the truths they fought to show even knowing you were gone...you have a strong family, Dhurke." She gave him the tiniest of smiles. "You should be proud of all of them."
Datz pressed his fist to his mouth, willing himself to stay steady. When had she grown up so much under his nose? A man she had been terrified of the last time she saw him...and now she was dressing him down for a perceived slight that wasn't even really an offense, on her father's behalf?
Dhurke smiled and nodded at her. "I am," he said. "Each of them. But you're missing one piece of the puzzle."
She blinked at him curiously. What was he getting at?
He tapped her nose once more. "You have that same will," he pointed out. "The same blood of the dragon that my children, my wife, and my friend all possess...it's in you as well." He smiled. "And if you're including your father as part of my family, then you are too."
She smiled up at him, eyes misting over slightly. That awful day, three years ago...there had been so much death and pain, and she had thought that she would be alone. But she had her own strength, and she knew she would learn to carry on alone. And then...Datz had showed her that she didn't have to carry that burden alone.
"My family is small, and it's...different," she said quietly. Datz, Apollo...sometimes Nahyuta and the princess...and now, an uncle (it still felt weird to her even in her head) who was no longer part of the living realm. "...but it's mine."
He rustled her hair the way that Datz loved to do, and she reached up to catch his hand. She was set to give him a handshake as way of parting, but Dhurke clearly wasn't accepting that and pulled her in for a hug. And though he reminded her of one of the worst days of her life, he now also reminded her of the new life she had found and Armie was able to return the hug.
After a moment, Dhurke patted her back and released her. Armie smiled, returning to her seiza position and sitting back. He returned her smile. "I think we should call your father in," he said. "As if he hasn't already been listening this whole time, hah-ha-ha!" Dhurke chuckled, grinning broadly.
"Yipe!" Datz knew he'd been caught. He had the decency to look chagrined as he came back in.
That smile never left Dhurke's face even as Datz settled back onto the cushion. "You should be proud," he said warmly. "She's growing up into a beautiful young woman."
Datz swallowed thickly, but smiled as he brushed Armie's hair off of her forehead. "I am," he said.
Listening to them talk had finally helped him to understand why he had avoided asking Amara if he could speak to Dhurke one last time: because it truly was one last time. He would have to face the fact that Dhurke really was gone. He could no longer lie to himself, childishly pretending that this was one of the stretches where Dhurke was away doing work for the rebellion while Datz held down the fort – just like things had always been.
He knew things were better now. Things were going better than ever, getting closer to how life was 25 years ago, before the Defense Culpability Act. And yet there was a part of him that missed the days of the rebellion, with constant adrenaline running through his veins as he evaded capture, long nights sitting up with Dhurke and discussing their next moves, letting the conversation turn to more mundane things into the early morning hours...the companionship of working for twenty-some years alongside a close friend, striving to change their country for the better.
Datz cursed aloud when he realized that his eyes were burning with tears. Dhurke started at the noise and fixed him with a concerned gaze. "Datz?" He considered teasing Datz about using proper language in front of his daughter, but he didn't feel right saying it after he saw the look on the other man's face.
Datz's laugh was low, shaky, and thick with the emotions coursing through him. "I'm sorry," he finally managed through his tight throat. "I – I need to tell you something."
Armie immediately reached for her father's hand, trying to anchor him to that moment. She feared that if he lost his nerve now, he would never say what needed to be said.
Datz squeezed her hand in return, though his eyes remained on Dhurke. "I haven't…come to see you before because…I couldn't." He rested his head in his free hand and sighed. "If I never came here…it was almost like I could pretend you were doin' work for the Defiant Dragons, and you'd be back eventually." He chuckled quietly. "I know it's stupid. I know it ain't healthy. But…I did it." Now his gaze dropped, as if he couldn't bear to look Dhurke in the eye any longer. "There's been a lot I wanted to tell you the past two years. But I couldn't ask Amara for this, and – dammit!" He slammed his fist into the cushion underneath him and lowered his head, his voice rising to a hoarse shout. "I couldn't even save you!"
The silence that fell between them all was absolutely deafening. Armie still held his hand tightly, feeling her eyes fill and her heart break as she watched Datz. He was trembling like he did on the night she had disappeared nearly three years ago, and seeing it killed her. Her free hand pressed to her mouth as her gaze flickered between Datz and Dhurke; she didn't know who would speak first.
"…so that's what it was."
Dhurke's voice filled the silent chamber and both Armie and Datz turned to him. The other man looked at them both before turning his gaze to Datz alone. "I was worried it was something like that," he admitted. "You didn't want to speak to me because you carried guilt over my death."
Datz couldn't get any words past the tightness in his throat. Right now, keeping his breathing even was a struggle, let alone actually comprehending the words being spoken. But his daughter's grip on his hand helped him to focus and listen.
"Datz. Nobody could have saved me." Dhurke's expression was solemn. "And I feared if the truth ways known…Amara would be in danger." Datz nodded silently; he knew now that Amara had been coerced by her sister and that Dhurke had been trying to protect her all along. "But that was why I trusted you to help me escape the courthouse." His smile was a little crooked now. "You've always been my closest friend. I knew if I could rely on anyone to help me flee, and protect Amara…it was you." He let the words hang for a long moment before placing a hand on Datz's shoulder. "I couldn't tell you that I was dead, and I'm sorry. But I always trusted you. That was never in question."
Datz pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes, trying to compose himself long enough to answer. "Thanks, Dhurke," he finally managed to say. "I don't blame you for not tellin' anyone…" He swiped at his eyes one last time. "But thanks. And…I'm sorry that I haven't come to visit."
"I'm glad you're here now. And I think I can forgive you," Dhurke said, his voice serious. "…as long as you bring pictures next time." He couldn't hide his grin anymore as he tapped Armie's nose, eliciting a soft giggle from her. "I want to see the two of you growing together!"
Datz sat up a little straighter and dug for his wallet, extracting it from one of his side pockets with a grin. "Actually," he said, "I've got a few here."
There weren't many pictures – Datz and Armie were usually on the go and didn't think to take pictures until long after something was over – but there were enough to show Dhurke in the little time they had. There was one of them in the States that Phoenix had taken on their last visit. They were squabbling over an ice cream cone, which was rapidly melting over Armie's fingers. One hand was firmly planted on Datz's forehead, trying to push him away from her ice cream. The smile that lit her face looked like it was hurting her cheeks, but she couldn't stop giggling. Datz was leaning close to the cone, his tongue out like he could lick it from the distance she was trying to keep him at. "Neither of us ended up getting it," Armie said sadly as they looked at the picture. "Maya took it and ate it. She said we were taking too long."
"Hah-ha ha ha!" Dhurke laughed at the mental image. "Sounds like you two learned a lesson."
"Yeah," Datz returned dryly, "keep food away from Maya Fey."
There were a few other pictures – mostly mundane, everyday snapshots of their lives. But the last one, taken by AJ on one lazy afternoon, was Datz's favorite: one of him and Armie standing in a field, both of them smiling and looking up at her drone flying overhead. His arm was slung around her shoulders, and she was pressed against his side. They both looked content with everything in the world, just living in the moment and watching the world roll by.
Dhurke smiled softly when he looked up from the picture and realized that Datz was looking at her that very way right now. At times he felt that the older man would never grow up, but looking at Datz now, Dhurke knew that he had been wrong. He was a fine father, strong for his family – however small it may be – and clearly Armie adored him just as Datz adored her.
No, he didn't have a lump in his throat watching his friend continue to grow. It was just…dry in the Channeling Chamber. Yeah. That was it.
"I'll definitely bring more…next time," Datz said as he put the pictures away. It was a good sign that he was able to discuss future possibilities, Datz figured. It meant that he accepted the truth.
Dhurke returned his smile. "I'll hold you to it," he promised. He held out his hand, emblazoned with the tattoo of the dragon. Armie was fascinated by it, knowing that Queen Amara had no such tattoo on her hand – but then, the tattoos on the Queen's face were not present now, either. Channeling and how it worked was fascinating to see in action – it was almost as if Dhurke was permanently and flawlessly preserved just as everyone remembered him. There was no indication that the man before her was not the man that her father had known for two decades, yet he could not be all at once. It was a paradoxical thread between life and death, and the tragic beauty of it entranced her.
Datz smiled and presented his armband in lieu of a hand tattoo. Armie had once asked why both Nahyuta and Dhurke had the tattoos, but he didn't – Datz had laughed, rustled her hair, and cheerfully pointed out that he was terrified of needles and there was no way someone was bringing one that close to his body if he had any say over it. The memory and the current moment together made her smile as she looked between her father and her…uncle. (It was still weird. But it could grow on her.)
"Until next time," Datz vowed.
Dhurke smiled and nodded before closing his eyes. "Until next time, my friend."
Both Datz and Armie closed their eyes and lowered their heads respectfully, waiting for a long breath until they heard Amara's voice. "…he has left." Her tone was soft and gentle, as if slowly waking them from a dream.
Armie was surprised to feel tears in her eyes when she opened them. She looked up at the queen, sitting before them quietly in her regal splendor. Her face was calm, and Armie sensed that she had long made her peace with her husband's death. The girl wiped at her eyes, looking to her father to see how he was doing.
Datz's expression was tranquil, a stark difference from how he had been this morning. He smiled at Amara before lowering his head in a bow. "…thank you, Your Mercifulness," he said softly. Armie felt that there had to be some significance in the fact that he had called her by her royal address in this instance.
Amara lifted her hand to her mouth and chuckled quietly. "O ho ho. I believe that, just this once, Datz…you could call me Amara. We have known each other for nearly twenty-five years, after all." She gave him a delicate smile. "…though I would not say such in front of my children. I believe they would order you arrested for such insolence."
"Ha!" Datz laughed in response, scratching at the back of his head. "You're probably right about that." He chuckled to himself for a moment before looking at her once more. "…thank you, Amara." It was all he could say, but thankfully, it was all that Amara needed to hear. She understood the rest.
She placed a delicate hand, barren of any dragon tattoo, on his shoulder. "I am glad that I could help you find peace," she returned lightly.
…
After the proper goodbyes, they were on their way home. Armie walked alongside her father, watching the clearing sky. The threat of rain from earlier no longer loomed, and the sun was beginning to shine once more.
As they passed the Justice Law Offices, Armie paused. "Dad, look!" She pointed at a butterfly that rested delicately against the sign. "Oh, isn't it beautiful?"
Datz watched as the butterfly paused in its gentle fluttering. It seemed to consider them for a moment before taking to the skies, climbing into the azure heavens above. A crooked smile crossed Datz's lips as he touched two fingers to his forehead before giving the creature a salute as it disappeared into the sun.
"Yeah," he agreed. "It's somethin' else, kiddo."
This one was hard to write - really hard, for a variety of reasons. The thought of being able to speak to someone long gone is an attractive one, but one that stings when you realize that in our world, there's nobody to talk back. You have to fill in the silence yourself, and sometimes you don't know what they would say.
People may pass away - unexpectedly or otherwise - but the impact they leave on the people left behind lingers.
(Would she be proud of everything I've accomplished since she passed? I don't know. I'd like to think so. She'd probably be mad I never visit, though. Sorry, GG.)
This work was a really personal one. It was difficult, but it was cathartic as well. Thank you for exploring more of this universe with me.
(I promise, the next few pieces in this series aren't nearly as heavy.)