It was another barnyard day. Otis was grazing in the meadow as usual. The Farmer stopped to check on his livestock.
"I'm just heading out to the town to get some groceries, Otis."
The farmer drove away in his red pickup truck as Otis watched. Otis realized that with the farmer gone, there was no one to collect the milk and eggs.
Being the secondary leader of the farm, Otis did his duties and walked to the henhouse. He gathered all of the eggs and left them on the farmer's doorstep. Then, his udder started to feel funny. He let out a painful moo as he massaged it. He remembered that he had not been milked for almost two full days and that his udder was very full. The pressure was building and he knew he had to go.
"Why did I wait till the last minute?" He thought to himself.
He then tried to milk himself, but because he had hooves, it was no use. He had no opposable thumbs, or any thumbs for that matter, to grab anything, so no progress was being made to his milk content. He did not want to use the milk machine to milk himself, but it appeared he was out of options.
He shuddered in disgust when he gazed at the machine with his cow eyes. He realized he could not operate the dials and knobs himself, so he requested some help from his tiny mouse friend, Pip. At first, Pip didn't want to because he thought it was weird to help "milk" a friend, but he was hungry for some cheese so he agreed.
"You're gross." Otis said to Pip. He was weirded out that his friend wanted cheese from his body.
"Otis, that doesn't look like the instructions..." Pip warned his friend as he started preparing the machine.
"I've seen the farmer do this like 100 times!" Otis said reassuringly, as he attached the hose to his udder. He had to make sure that each nipple was inside the appropriate cup at the end of the hose. Once everything was attached, all systems were go. Otis was scared for the process that was about to begin. Gravity was pulling down on his udder, and he was ready to let his milk flow.
"Turn it on!" He commanded his tiny slave.
"Okay you're the boss..." Pip said as he turned the dial.
As the machine began suckling Otis, he realized milking from the machine wasn't that bad. He was ready to do this on a regular basis.
"It's quite pleasant, like a gentle tug!" He felt comfortable. "Okay, slightly less gentle now!"
The machine suckled a little bit harder and harder! Faster and faster! "VVRRROOOOM" the deafening sound of the vacuum was so loud that Otis's ears started to hurt.
"OWW! My udders are on fire!"
Pip was perplexed. Due to the loud noises, he heard, "Turn it higher!"
"You got it!" He replied as he moved the dial to the red area.
Suddenly, Pip slipped off the dial, accidentally setting the machine to maximum suction in the process.
Pip watched as his friend jerked and wobbled in pain. Otis let out a few cow screams.
Otis wasn't feeling so good. Milk was flowing right out of his udder through the long hose. His belly was shaking from the vigorous motions of the machine. His four stomachs ached in pain.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHOLYCOWMAKEIT STOPAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
He gasped and sputtered. Otis attempted to pull off the contraption, but it was no use. The suction latched on to his nipples. He screamed in more pain.
He tried to run away with the machine latched on, but he couldn't disconnect the milk flow. Pip saw what his friend was trying to do so he shut off the suction.
Otis passed out on the floor. His udder was clenched in his hooves, and his whole body fat was gone, and his ribs were showing. His milk supply was depleted so he was basically empty.
In pain, he said, "I'm gonna need some private time!" And he waddled to his stall.
As Otis sat in his stall, moaning in pain, he looked over at the large container of milk that was previously in his udder. He licked his lips in delight.
"Could you pour me a glass, Pip?" Otis was thirsty.
Pip did what Otis requested, but Otis wasn't gaining his normal cow weight yet. Otis asked for more and more, and then his belly started to grow. His udder inflated as well. Otis chugged the entire container of milk that was just sucked out of him.
"I think I need to be milked!" He said to Pip.
Alternate ending:
As if obliging to his request, the machine started to smoke and shake. Gears grinded, and the machine sparked. Otis watched in horror, and said, "Well, we're screwed."
A mile or so away, the farmer saw a huge plume of smoke coming from the barn. "Huh, wonder what that is" he said. About a half hour later, the farmer came home and found the barn in ruins. A giant jar of milk remained with a side of charred Filet Mingon and cheese. The farmer was confused, but Pip was happy that he had a lifetime supply of cheese ahead of him.