Loopy Harry Returns
Chapter 1
"Hmmm, a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper should do the trick," Harry murmured to himself. Now, anyone in hearing distance would think Harry is preparing a meal… they would be wrong. Harry, in fact, was busy making a potion. And not just any potion, but a potion he is making up on the spot. What could possibly go wrong there?
"I think I'll ad a bit of newt eyes before I finish." Yes, Harry was indeed talking to himself; he did that a lot.
You see, Harry was not entirely, well… sane. He had always been weird, ever since he was a little boy, though he could hide that weirdness well most of the time. But after Sirius Black died at the end of his fifth year at Hogwarts, some say he went entirely insane. They even gave him a nickname: Loopy Harry. If Harry was aware of this, he paid it no attention at all.
Harry threw in the newt eyes, curious to see what would happen to his concoction. The potion started to boil and hiss, and before he could react, it exploded in his face, throwing him backwards.
"Should've listened to 'Mione," were his last words before he passed out.
-X-X-
Harry woke with a groan, promptly hitting his head against a hard surface. "Ouch!"
Rubbing his head, he looked around to see what he'd hit. 'Strange, this looks like my cupboard."
Then, he noticed his hands; his considerably smaller hands. He then felt himself up and came to a realization. "I'm small and in my cupboard… I'm young again!" He exclaimed.
"Shut up, BOY!" Shouted a heavy male voice.
As Harry realized he was once again a child (with the unfortunate side effect of being stuck with the zoo animals, pardon, the Dursleys), he conjured up a massive grin and rubbed his hands together, "Excellent," he uttered, cackling silently.
-X-X-
After figuring out he was now 5 years old, he sneaked out of the Dursley's house (really, he just apparated from his cupboard, not that hard), Harry put a notice-me-not charm on himself and headed to Diagon Alley, or more precisely, Gringots.
"Yes?" A gremlin said as he approached, Harry grinned.
"Hello gremlin, I need to speak to a manager," He smiled a toothy smile. The gremlin for some reason seemed offended.
"What did you call me, puny human?" He growled (can gremlins even growl?).
"I called you a gremlin, Mr. Gremlin. Now, a manager, please?" Harry said, seemingly completely serious. Oh yes, he knew this was a goblin, but he just liked mixing things up. The gremlin glared at him and called for Griphook to take the 'insane human' to an account manager.
"Bye bye Mr. Gremlin," Harry offered his parting words; the gremlin seemed to resist the urge to do something that would get him killed, or worse, fired.
-X-X-
Harry left the bank 10.000 pounds richer (really, being a billionaire had its perks) and now bestowed with the title of Lord Potter, which meant he was now an emancipated minor. He cackled as he imagined how the Dursleys would react to the news that not only was he considered an adult now, but that he was also one of the richest men in Europe. Hmmm, maybe his uncle would finally explode, that'd be a fun sight.
He headed out into the muggle world and bought an entire new wardrobe as well as an entire box of chocolate (he was very fond of his chocolate).
He briefly toyed with the idea of visiting Ron and Hermione, but then figured he didn't need the hassle of telling them who he was. He'd much rather toy with their minds once they went to Hogwarts.
He doubled over with laughter as he thought of what would happen when he went back to Hogwarts 6 years from now. They'd better hope the castle would still be standing after he was through with them.
That's when he thought of the bleaker point of this time travel; Voldemort. "Crap, gotta deal with baldy face again." He shrugged, he didn't much care either way. Maybe he'd send a love letter to Voldemort, see if that'd make him explode.
-X-X-
Harry did not return to Privet drive, though he could only imagine the trouble it would give the wizarding world once they'd discover he was missing.
"Maybe I'll go break Sirius out of prison, I'm bored anyways," He contemplated for several seconds. And as he was bored anyway, he decided that that's exactly what he would do. Maybe he and Sirius could go on the run together then and become outlaws; he'd always wanted to be an outlaw, this would be his chance.
"Wonder what Sirius'll say…"
And so Harry left for Azkaban prison; his very first adventure as a renewed child. It should be fun.
A/N: So this is the start, I know it's short, but rest assured I'm already working on the second chapter. If you'd like something to happen, feel free to give me suggestions as to what Loopy Harry should do with all his free time now. And I hope you like it.