A/N: Written for the Heart of Camelot Wishlist exchange. One member asked for "someone to write a story for the following title: "The Mouse That Snored" using Merlin and Arthur. Length doesn't matter so long as Arthur is driven up the wall and crabby from lack of sleep."
As always, beta'ed by the wonderful sarajm, whose comments and suggestions made this so much better than it was.
The Mouse That Snored
Arthur jolted out of his sleep again. This was becoming ridiculous. He was absolutely exhausted from the day spent tramping around the woods, and after bedding down in a clearing surrounded by birch trees and close by a small creek, both he and Merlin had soon gone to sleep.
Why were the Prince of Camelot and his trusted manservant sleeping on the cold ground rather than in their warm beds in the Castle? An excellent question, to be sure. Arthur and Merlin were ostensibly on a hunting trip, but in reality Arthur had wanted to get out of Camelot before King Erid and his insufferable daughter, the Lady Melina, arrived for an overnight stop on their travels.
The Lady Melina had a terrible crush on Arthur – one that had developed a couple of years earlier - and made no bones about telling one and all that she was going to marry Arthur and they'd live happily ever after in Camelot. It was embarrassing enough to the Prince that he should be chased about the castle by a female; but to be pursued by a small, lisping, eight year old female was beyond the pale. The moment his father announced their impending arrival, Arthur grabbed his manservant and the two rode out of Camelot like the Hounds of Hell were after them.
The men had spent the day hunting, quite successfully. Between the snares laid down by Merlin and some masterful bow-and-arrow work by Arthur, they'd caught a fair number of rabbits and several pheasants. It had been a thoroughly enjoyable day and Arthur had even managed to put his small, romantically-inclined pursuer out of his mind. Merlin had cooked them a delicious dinner and they'd enjoyed some quiet conversation before Merlin's yawns took over.
"Get some sleep, Merlin. I swear if you yawned any wider, you'd turn inside out," said Arthur as he reached over to bank the fire. Merlin grinned at the young Prince and with a quiet "Sleep well", rolled himself up in his blanket and was asleep in moments.
Arthur sat up for about another five minutes or so before he decided to turn in as well. Grabbing his blanket, he made himself comfortable on a pile of leaves, and lay there waiting to enter the arms of Morpheus. Only … sleep wouldn't come. Arthur lay on his back, staring up at the clear night sky and watching the stars the twinkle in the dark. Five minutes later, and he was still staring up at the sky, sleep still an elusive creature.
Frustrated, Arthur turned on his side and pulled his blanket up to his ears. He was so tired, but why couldn't he sleep? Across the fire, Merlin was curled up under his covers, his hair sticking up every which way, and looking very much like a small hedgehog. Arthur huffed in frustration and rolled over again, so now his back was to the fire and his peacefully sleeping manservant.
Finally, the calm and quiet of the clearing seeped into the young Prince. His tense muscles relaxed, his mind cleared and he soon drifted off. But, unfortunately, it wasn't to last.
About an hour later, Arthur's eyes opened. Something had woken him, but what? All was quiet in the clearing, save for the gentle breathing of his servant across the fire from him. Looking over, it was obvious Merlin was still asleep so whatever had woken Arthur was apparently content to let him suffer alone.
After giving another quick look around, Arthur snuggled back into his bed of leaves, closed his eyes and was soon dreaming of glorious battles.
That was, until the sound of the breeze rustling through the birch leaves started to creep insidiously in to the man's dreams and quickly woke him. Arthur sat up, eyes scanning the surrounding area, but he soon realized that it was nothing more that the wind, so he lay back down, pulled up his blanket and was quickly dead to the world.
Moonrise found both Merlin and Arthur sleeping peacefully beside the banked-down fire. Merlin was still curled up into a small ball under his blanket, but Arthur was now lying on his back with his arms akimbo, resembling a rather large starfish.
Suddenly a loud "braacch" sounded right beside Arthur's ear, giving him a fright and jolting him awake. As the Prince lay there, trying to catch his breath and calm his breathing, another raucous "braacch" sounded. Arthur slowly turned his head to the right and came face to face with a large bullfrog. The two creatures stared at each other for a moment, when the frog opened its mouth in preparation to call again.
"Don't you even think of it!" snapped the Prince as he waved his hands in an attempt shoo the frog away. The frog just stared at the young royal, who by now was sitting up and feeling around on the ground for a stick, a rock, something, anything, he could use to scare away the noisy creature. Entertaining as the human was, though, the frog decided that he'd have better luck finding a mate if he was closer to the water, so with one last froggy burp he hopped away.
Arthur huffed as he watched the frog hopping across the clearing, and once it had disappeared into the trees he lay back down, shifting his shoulders to get comfortable and was soon dozing off.
Unfortunately, though, fate was not done with the young man. Soon, an owl alit in a nearby tree and began a chorus of "Who. Who." Shortly thereafter, a second owl arrived and the two of them began hooting in tandem, apparently determined to keep the Prince from getting any rest.
Arthur lay on the ground, his eyes now wide open and every muscle pulled taut in tension. "This is ridiculous," he muttered as he stood up and grabbed a nearby stone. One quick toss in the direction of the birds was enough to convince them to leave, so with one last hoot, they flew off on silent wings.
"Good riddance," called Arthur towards the retreating birds as he lay back down in his bed of leaves. Looking over at his companion, Arthur saw that Merlin was still deeply asleep; apparently the owls had not disturbed his manservant in the least. "How does he do that?" wondered Arthur as he drifted off again.
But, Arthur's trials were not yet over. It seemed like Mother Nature had it in for the young Prince: next, the distant howling of a wolf pack woke him, then the barking of a dog from the nearby town, and after that it was the sound of the water splashing over the rocks in the nearby brook. Each time he awoke, Arthur got more and more irate, not only at the annoyances that kept disturbing his sleep, but also at the fact that it seemed that none of it was having any negative effect on Merlin's sleep. The Prince felt like he was going insane, and yet Merlin continued to sleep the sleep of the innocents.
The last straw, though, was the mouse. It was coming up to dawn; Arthur was finally starting to doze off after the latest disturbance, when he heard a faint rustling sound coming from his bed of leaves. A small vole was on his morning search for food and was digging his way through the warm pile of leaves in the hopes of finding a forgotten seed or some fresh clover.
By this point, Arthur's every sense was on high alert and while in reality the vole was not really making much noise – it's survival depended on its ability to remain quiet and unseen – to Arthur's keyed-up senses it sounded like a herd of elephants was marching through the clearing.
"That's it!" yelled Arthur as he quickly stood, ready to wake his manservant and demand that they return to Camelot immediately. Arthur was so annoyed that he was even willing to put up with the machinations of Lady Melina, if it meant he could possibly get some sleep in his own bed.
"Merlin, wake up. Merlin! Get up, Merlin. We're leaving," snapped the Prince as he rolled up his blanket and strapped it to the back of his saddle.
"Hmmm?" murmured Merlin, as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. Merlin blinked blearily in the early morning light and seeing that Arthur was up and starting to saddle his horse, he quickly scrambled to his feet and asked, "Arthur? What's going on?"
"Douse the fire, Merlin, and saddle up. We're heading back to Camelot. Now!"
"But what about breakfast?" asked Merlin. At the glare he received, Merlin simply raised his eyebrow and said placatingly, "All right, Arthur. Just give me a moment and I'll be ready." As he was saddling his own horse, Merlin finally got a good look at his Prince. Arthur's hair was standing up all over his head, his eyes were red, his forehead was furrowed and he had dark circles under his eyes. "Is everything okay?" asked the warlock gently. "You seem a bit … frazzled."
"Frazzled," snorted the Prince incredulously. "Frazzled? Why would I be frazzled?" he asked as he then proceeded to recount every single one of the times he'd been woken, his voice getting louder and louder, and angrier and angrier at the retelling of each incident.
"AND," concluded the Prince, "to top it all off, there's an incredibly annoying, pre-teen little chit of a girl waiting to ambush me the moment I put one foot into the palace. So, you tell me, MERlin; why do you think I'm looking a bit frazzled".
Arthur's rant had caught poor Merlin by surprise; so much so that all he could do was stand there with his eyes wide and his brows almost disappearing into his hairline, staring at the man now pacing in a restless circle before him. Unfortunately, though, by the time Arthur got to complaining about the mouse, Merlin was trying desperately to keep a smile off his face and not dissolve into laughter.
But it was to no avail. With Arthur's last 'frazzled', Merlin was no longer able to control himself. Even though he knew that it wouldn't help the situation any, Merlin couldn't prevent it. The warlock finally burst into peals of laughter; in fact, he laughed so hard that tears began to run down his cheeks and he was gasping for breath.
Finally … finally … Merlin got himself under control and he snorted, "I'm sorry for laughing, Arthur. But, truly, if you could have heard yourself, I know you would have been laughing too."
Arthur just snarled his contempt and swung up into his saddle. "If you're ready now, Merlin," he snapped, "I'd like to get going."
"Oh, don't be like that, Arthur. Listen, I know a back way into the castle and no one will see us. And, if you like, though it's not up to your usual standards, you can hide out in my room and maybe get some sleep," said the young warlock soothingly as he mounted his horse in preparation to depart.
"If you can get me to your chambers without anyone seeing us, Merlin, I'll give you the day off," promised Arthur as a wonderful vision of a quiet, darkened room and a comfortable bed danced before his eyes.
"You've got a deal," responded Merlin with a smile as he urged his horse into a trot. "Now let's get going; the sooner we're back we're home, the sooner I can enjoy my day of freedom!"