Alice's life so far….

Chapter 1 Seeing my reason to exist

Bella's POV

I was "trying" to get Nessie to try some baby formula, Rose, Jake, Esme, Carlisle, Alice and even Emmett and Jasper had all tried and failed at giving Nessie some of this vile white disgusting stuff and it always ended up on our clothes (Alice was always sooo happy about this it meant she could go shopping to replace these clothes and somehow I ALWAYS got dragged with her and made into a Barbie doll). Not even Edward could get her to drink it he gave up and went hunting to calm down, after getting changed of course his t-shirt was covered in this disgusting drink. Now it was my turn I put nessie in her high chair and strapped her in and then I pretended to drink some myself but the smell was enough to make me throw up if I could…. Then nessie kicked it up from my hand and it smashed off my marble body and spilt over my purple stretch cotton t-shirt and marked it all, "Renesmee what are we going to do with you? You can't have blood at breakfast, lunch and tea! You're still half human! You need food like this lovely baby milk," I pointed down at my top and she started laughing, "So what are we going to do with you?" She pulled her hand up to my face and showed me and Edward hunting with her and then she swapped the image to me and her playing with her toys and how much she loved doing this, I could have cried with happiness and love for my daughter. "I'd better go change my top hadn't I?" Nessie started laughing again, it was an angel's laughter "want to come with me and help mummy decided what to wear?" as soon as I said that her face light up and she was out of her chair within a matter of milliseconds by my side. We walked hand in hand to mine and Edward's room, nessie jumped onto our bed as I went into my oversized wardrobe, it was bigger than the cottage itself, Alice will be Alice, I walked past Edward's tiny rail and looked around at what was supposed to be mine but there was only a white ruffle blouse, dark grey skinnys and black heels with a note on from Alice

You can thank me after, we are going shopping to find you only decent clothing meaning no sweat pants or t-shirts! And maybe some stuff for you and Edward…

Rose and Esme are going to look after Ness for you while we go shopping

See you soon

Alice

"ALICE!!!!!!!" I screamed so high pitched it broke the glass in the cupboards. I shouted out the cottage and to the Cullen's house, "ALICE GET HERE NOW!" within a short second Alice was sitting on the bed next to nessie playing with her hair I walked over to the bed and sat down nessie crawled into my arms and curled into a ball as I stroked her soft hair, she fell asleep in my arms

"Yes Bella what is it?" Alice asked innocently with a smug smile on her face

"AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW ALICE!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WARDROBE?" I was whispering at her.

"Well you're always wearing jeans and a t-shirt so I gave all of them to a dumpster, where they belong, and you really do need to wear decent clothing so that you can come out with me!!! I can't bear to see you looking like a bag of rags it pains me to see it" a look of pain came into her eyes and before she could send me on the guilt trip

"oh Alice it really doesn't matter what I wear I'll still look boring and dull"

"BELLA you have never looked boring and dull, you hear me n-e-v-e-r!" Alice made it very clear on her opinions about fashion but I did look plain and ordinary even when I was human.

"mommy, daddy doesn't think you look plain and ordinary not even when you were human, he told me about when he first saw you and about your meadow" I forgot she was there in my arms and she had her hand on my neck hearing what my thoughts were "daddy always said you were beautiful and exceptionally beautiful and pretty"

"and she still is Ness" Edward interrupted after silently returning from his hunting trip he walked over to me like a god and kissed the top of my head, I inhaled quickly he smelt great there was a hint of blood on him so to me he smelt even better if that was possible.

"see Bella and clothes will make you feel a lot better like they did when you were human!" Alice made a face of victory "I can't remember being human or even who created me so I need to get these feelings of being human!"

"Auntie Alice how did u get changed? Mommy got changed by daddy and with the help from my Jacob! Jasper was changed by Maria, Emmett, Grandma, Rose and daddy were changed by Grandad and Grandad was changed by the sewer vampire" then she whispered to Alice "and mommy and daddy made me but shhh Jakey says I'm to little to know about that" this made Edward growl ever so slightly I put my hand on his waist and pulled him to sit down next to me, one of these days Jake's only going to be running around on three legs. "So who changed you?" ness carried on. nessie was only 19 weeks old but yet she remembered all of this and she spoke each word perfectly, I saw a proud smile come over Edwards face as he looked down onto me and ness I was proud of her too she was our child perfect in every way. I was daydreaming about our daughter when Alice's words brought me back to the present.

"ness I cant remember who changed me or exactly when I just remember waking up into darkness and the pain of the burning in my throat was all I knew" Alice looked upset and depressed about her human life she couldn't remember, for once Alice wasn't that bubbly pixie like girl that I knew as my sister.

"Alice I'm sorry I went off at you like that, really I am, I had no idea I'm sooooooo sorry" I looked deep into Alice's empty eyes and she smiled

"Bella it's fine honestly I've had 58 years of not knowing about it so it really doesn't bother me and having a brilliant family around me I really don't care I'm more than happy now I couldn't ask for anything better!"

"Alice you never have told us what you do remember, can you tell us please?" I knew everyone else's story on how they came into this life but I never knew Alice's she never talked about it in front of us, I thought I knew her really well but then I realised I didn't know much about her at all only from when I meet the family is all I knew.

"Yeah yeah yeah Auntie Alice please tell us!!!!!" ness sprung from my lap onto Alice's shoulders and started tugging on her clothes begging her to tell us.

A new look came into Alice's eyes and face she was being totally serious I'd never seen her so serious in my entire life, as a human or vampire.

"When I woke up everything was so ……. different so much more sharp and defined, even though it was the middle of the night I could see everything, from the cracks in the pale blue walls to the tiny spider fleeing from me. I took a deep breath and then a burning desire came over me, it was a pain much worse than anything. Words can't describe the ache and need for something to put out the flames of desire. All of a sudden I was …… lost from the room, I wasn't sure what was happening to me whether I was dead or I was being pulled back into that awful pain which to me at that time was worse than death. But then I was seeing a tall blond skinny man with blood red eyes and half crescents like bites all over his snow white complexion, walking through a door into a café, he was so handsome and strange but then I noticed it he was just like me, pale and well all of the features that defines us as vampires. I saw myself with blood eyes as well but mine were more amber than crimson sitting on a high stool he looked very weary of me as if I was a dangerous threat to him, me a tiny little woman compared to his size!" Alice giggled and Edward looked like he was about to gag, so I knew I didn't want to know the private joke and I especially didn't want nessie to hear it "then I walked up to him and held out my hand and he took it with out stopping to think and smiled, from that one moment onwards I knew he was my reason to exist."

"for the first time in almost a century I felt hope" jasper surprised us all when he walked into our room and then I remembered he'd once said that when Victoria had created an army of powerful newborns when he was telling me his story he walked over quickly to Alice's side and kissed her passionately, I covered Nessie's eyes quickly before she saw what was happening and everyone laughed as she tried to wiggle free from my iron grip. As soon as they were done I let ness go and had a brief moment just like theirs with Edward before ness noticed we were playing tonsil tennis.

"Uncle Jasper!!!" Ness screamed in delight as Jasper sat down on the bed, she bounded over to him and leap up into his awaiting arms

"I overheard you talking about Alice, and I thought I might if it's ok with you be able listen?" he was asking Alice and me

"Jasper you've heard it a thousand times…"

"And I want to hear it again!" Jasper interrupted Alice with a huge smile spread across his face "Bella is it ok if I sit here and listen?" Jasper asked politely

"No need to ask jasper!" I answered a bit too enthusiastically Jasper laughed and winked at Edward, Alice noticed it as well but she just shook it off

Jasper whispered into Alice's ear "I love you" and she turned and stared into his loving and caring eyes and melted into them and whispered "I love you too"