POP! GOES THE WEASEL!
Ah, what a merry Christmas I must say! Torturing these individuals 'til they start crying!
What a better way to celebrate Christmas then listen to my music?
Hm, hm, hm... how lovely! Love this song!
Wait? Who's there? Who's interrupting The Puppet in his time of singing?
Go away! I have no Christmas story to tell you!
What? NO! You stupid, stupid human! You came here to read a story!? I came here to listen to my music! Go away!
Ugh... why did we kill Jeremy, Foxy? I want him to wind the box again! I can't do it myself! Damn you, Freddy! Killing Jeremy...
Bonnie! I need assistance here! WIND THE MUSIC BOX YOU STUPID BUNNY! I NEED MY MUSIC! DOOOOO ITTTT! Thank you...
Alright, so you came here for a story. I understand. Alright, then. I'll give you a story. But don't say I didn't warn you of the blood and gore and DEATH this story shall hold!
What? You want a nice Christmas story? You came... to me... for a NICE Christmas story... you must be more insane than me. But now that you've asked, you have to sit down and listen to ol' Marionette's story! Heehee... oh, it's making me smile just thinking about it! THE GORE! THE SUSPENSE! THE HOOOOORRROOOOORRR!
Alright, I'm starting, I'm starting...
Once upon a time... there was a- what? What are you doing? DON'T TOUCH THE MUSIC BOX YOU FUCKING PIECE OF- Ok, ok. I'm chill. Just don't touch that.
BONNIE! WIND UP THE SCARY MUSIC BOX! DO IT! NOOOOWWW! Again, thank you for your assistance...
*upbeat music starts playing*
THAT'S THE WRONG FUCKING MUSIC BOX!
"Sorry, 'Nette."
*Scary music starts playing*
Thank you. You're so useless sometimes, Bonnie...
Once upon a time... there was a Puppet... this puppet was no ordinary puppet. He liked to kill people.
*gasp*
DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNN!
Alright, alright. Tone down on the sound effects. I think this guy gets it.
He killed people alot. He killed a guy called Jeremy once. It was pretty cool. He ate Jeremy. I dunno why.
*GASP* *GULP* *HYPERVENTILATE*
...
Th-wha-what was that?
Alright...
But this puppet... he hated Christmas.
"NO WAY!"
*SCREAM*
*DEATH NOISES*
...
I hate you, Chica. Tone down on the fuckin' effects.
He hated Christmas so much that he never gave. He never gave anyone anything.
"I don't think many people give stuff on Christmas, Paul."
SHUT UP, FREDDY! And my name's not Paul! At least, not anymore. BONNIE! FUCKING DO THE MUSIC BOX AGAIN!
"Alright, I fucking quit, Paul. That's your problem now."
Fuck you, Bonnie. FOXY! GET YOUR PIRATE BOOTY DOWN HERE AND WIND UP THE FUCKING MUSIC BOX!
Ahem. As I was saying. This puppet hated Christmas. He had lots of money and was a successful lawyer.
*GASP*
What's so scary about being a successful lawyer?
"Lawyers scare me"
Ch-Chica, everything scares you... FOXY WIND IT UP AGAIN BEFORE I FUCKI- Thank you...
So as I was saying, this puppet never gave. But he had alot of money to spare. Then, one day. A child died.
DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!
Because he didn't give money to him. Also, fuck you Chica. FOXY! WIND IT UP AGAIN! Thank you.
"Alright, Ye know what? I quit as well. Fuck ye, ye lily-livered scum."
Oh, fuck. WAHYU! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF MAGIC ISLAND FOR 10 SECONDS!
"No way, dickhead!"
AGHHH! DANNY! COME OVER HERE BEFORE I WHOOP YOUR ASS!
THANK YOU! FINALLY! Oh wait, what are you doing! NO! NO! DON'T DO THAT! AHHHHHH!
...
...
...
Am I still alive? Coz that horn pierced through my fucking body. Oh, I am? Everything hurts. FUCK YOU, DANNY!
Alright, we'll do it without the scary music. Fuck you guys. It's such an easy job. Jeremy can do it. But you bitches can't.
So as I was saying, this puppet hated Christmas... wait, no. I already said that.
Erm...
Let me just check through the papers here...
Ah, I see. So, the boy died. I never read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens? What do you think I do for a living? Read? I don't have time for reading.
So. The puppet didn't care that the boy died...
*GASP*
*AHHHHH*
*MONSTER NOISES*
*FUCKING GODZILLA*
What? This isn't a Godzilla movie? This is a fan fiction about me talking about me killing a-
What? I didn't say anything. I never killed a child. What are you talking about? That child I killed definitely isn't Golden Freddy in any way. I definitely didn't kill the 4 original animatronics when they were humans and turned them into animatronics...
Erm... yeah...
SHUT UP!
Okay. So the puppet didn't care. He was visited by ghosts.
*NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The zombies ate your braaainnzzz...*
WE AREN'T PLAYING PLANTS VS ZOMBIES!
FUCK YOU, CHICA!
AND THEY'RE GHOSTS! NOT FUCKING ZOMBIES!
WHAT!?
FUCK YOU!
Look! I actually quit. I'm leaving. I'm gonna go and listen to me beats. See you later, human... wait. You're a human, right?
WHY HAVEN'T WE STUFFED THIS MOTHER FUCKER YET!? HE'S A FUCKING HUMAN! KILL HIM! WHY AM I TELLING HIM SOME RANDOM STORY!?
KILL THE HUMAN! FOXY, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND KILL THE HUMAN!
...
He ain't coming...
Fuck you human. Go away. I want to listen to my songs.
"ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAAAS IS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Yeah that's not copy right at all...