The first time Beechkit noticed the cringes was when he was a moon old. He had gone outside to play with his litter mates. They'd been playing a game of Moss ball.
"Beechkit, catch!" His sister, Fernkit, flung the ball at him.
Beechkit jumped to catch it, but missed, and instead the moss ball flew into the warriors den. He had looked over at their mother, Brightclaw, for help. And his mother saw him, and winced. "Go get the ball, Beechkit."
Beechkit scampered of to retrieve the ball. He entered the warriors den. Dovetail and her mate, Pikesplash, sat side by side, grooming each other. Pikesplash looked up. "What are you-"
He realized it was Beechkit and winced. Dovetail quickly glanced away, looking down.
Beechkit wondered briefly why they acted so strange, but he quickly forgot about it. Little did he know, that not everything could be forgotten or forgiven that easily.
Five moons had passed, and Beechkit was ready to become an apprentice of ShadowClan. That day, his mother had spent countless minutes grooming Fernkit, Dawnkit, and him. His father sat proudly, his fluffy white chest puffed out, his green eyes glistening with pride. Froststar, the clan leader, called the meeting with ShadowClan's traditional call: "Let all cats old enough to hunt in the marshes gather here for a clan meeting." Beechkit lashed his tail in excitement, as he eagerly awaited his apprentice ceremony. Froststar called up Dawnkit first. "Dawnkit has reached her sixth moon and is ready to become an apprentice of Shadowclan. Redcloud, you have shown exceptional bravery and dedication to the clan, and I trust that you will pass these skills on to your apprentice."
He continued, and Fernkit became Fernpaw. Her mentor was Darkflight. Then it was Beechkit's turn. Or, it should have been. But Froststar merely dismissed the clan. Brightclaw had a worried look on her face.
"But Froststar," she asked. Beechkit detected a quaver of uncertainty in her voice. "What about Beechkit. I'm sure his..." she paused for a moment "Disability." She said at last, "Won't get in the way of him serving Shadowclan."
"No," Froststar replied, "But we can't let the other clans see him. It would make Shadowclan seem weak."
"Why? Because we can't protect our own kits from a fox? Froststar, please. I already lost one of my kits. Why won't you let my other 3 grow up normally? Give him a chance!"
But Froststar only shook his head, and said "It is what it is. StarClan must have had their reasons for taking one of your kits. At least they spared Beechkit." At that, Froststar walked into his den, ending the discussion.
Days became moons as Beechkit tried to grapple with the fact that he would never become an apprentice. He still had to do duties, like search the elders for ticks and whatnot. But he didn't get to train or hunt with the other apprentices. It was boring.
One night, Beechkit became to curious. What was wrong with him? So he slipped quietly out of the den, into the night. It had just rained, and he found a puddle to look into. He looked down, into the puddle, expecting to see a normal face that belonged to a normal cat. But he leapt back in surprise and disgust.
Slowly, Beechkit crept back again. There, staring back at him, was the ugliest face he had ever seen. One eye was red, and the other was cloudy and blind. They were slightly cross-eyed and out of wack. His fur was beautiful, cream with dark gray flecks, but it was impossible to notice next to his horrible ears. One was much to small, and the other was squashed against his head. His jaw was crooked, with one tooth sticking out, and his tongue was hanging out. There was a long scar over his blind eye which he couldn't remember receiving.
I'm hideous. He thought. No wonder Froststar had refused to make him an apprentice. He was a discrace! He sat down, his mind trying to grasp everything that this revealed. The winces. His mother's refusal to give him the same kind of love that she showed for his sisters. And, above all, the apprentice ceremony that never happened. A memory tugged at Beechkit's conscience, a very, very early memory. An explanation.
"Come on Beechkit, let's go to the woods!" Another kit called to him.
Beechkit had followed the other kit. They had come across a large den. "It smells yucky!" He had remarked. The two of them had gone inside, to explore. Beechkit remembered a snarl, red fur, and the other kit shrieked. He had too. Then he had lost consciousness.
He woke up later, in the medicine den. And the medicine cat, Creampelt, had winced. Winced. Winced...
It made sense. All of it. He'd been attacked by a fox. That was why he was disfigured. That was why.