He wanted to wake up from the endless nightmare, wanted to make it all go away. But he knew he couldn't. And that seemed to add to the vividness of the nightmare and make it all the more real.
He sat up in bed, drawing his knees up and resting his head on them, his hands tugging at his hair. "Why won't it stop?" he whispered. "Why won't these feelings go away. Why? Should I tell someone? No. I can't. They fear me enough as it is." He lifted his head suddenly. "But what about Lily? Maybe I could confide in…no. Not her. But James? Peter?" He laughed softly at this last option. "Oh, wouldn't that be a great joke: telling Wormtail one of his friends is…" he shook his head. "And James… James couldn't possibly begin to understand.
"So why not talk to Sirius?" he asked himself suddenly. "It involves him, anyway." He was silent for a moment, considering it. "No," he sighed, dejected. "It would only make things worse. He'd despise me for it. Fear me for it. I won't risk him." He rested his head back on his knees again, his fingers tangling in his sandy hair again. "What am I going to do?" he whispered almost inaudibly. "Why is this happening? Why me? Why here? Why now?" He tightened his grip on his hair to the point of pain before his fingers went limp and his hands fell to the mattress like weights. He looked through his open curtains over at Sirius, who was still sleeping soundly. "Why did it have to be you?" He ignored the despairing tears that for a moment welled in his eyes before slipping down his cheeks. "Why?" he whispered into the dark.