Hey guys, so this really is a random little drabble. I've had it in my files for some time now, and didn't know what to do with it. So I decided to post it on it's own. It is really short, but I think It is okay. I'll you guys think what you want. I wouldlike to know what you thought, as this if the first gay thing I wrote, and I know it's just somebody's thoughts, but he is still a confused gay. That's about all..

Enjoy (:

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I'm not quite sure if this is a good thing or not. Being the way I am.

Sometimes being different, standing out from the crowd is a good thing. I have a lot of friends, mostly female, and all the guys envy me for all the hot chicks hanging around me.

But do I want them to envy me, do I want him to envy me.

Other's think I'm some kind of alien. Which of course I'm not.

Just because I'm gay, it doesn't mean I'm some freak. They may say I am, he may same I am, but I'm not. I'm just a normal human being that prefers the same sex, What's weird about that...

Okay, a lot of things.

Boys are supposed to be with girls, not guys. I am abnormal, an alien, a weirdo, freak and all those other names. But I can't help it.

Believe me I've tried. So many times. I've tried to be with girls, but it feels weird. Like I'm breaking a law or something.

But now, I know for certain, that I'm supposed to be this way, for I love someone, someone I shouldn't love. And It's killing me inside.

I can't help it that I fell for my best friend's boyfriend, I also can't help that fact that everytime I see him, I fall for him even more.

I just want to go up to him and kiss him, tell him I love him and hear him say it back. But It's not going to happen. Never.

I should give up all hope of ever having anything I want. It just doesn't work out for me, nothing ever does.

So, what should I do? Lock up my feelings and hide them away? Or go for it, and tell him how I feel?

Oh boy, why can't things ever be normal? I know I will make a mess of this, whatever I do.

I don't want to lose my best friend, but at the same time, I don't want to fight my feelings.

Love is one thing I will never get right, no matter how many times I try.

I am just not meant to be loved. It's the way I am.

I disgust people. People think I am revolting, dirty, horrid.

I may not get why a lot of people think that about me, but I do get one thing....

Being gay sucks!

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Thoughts? x