Hey guys! This is my first ever actual one-shot I'm posting, WOOH! Call it my Christmas gift to you, if you must. XD Anyway, this is rated T for 'implied' yaoi. On another note, this is my first Ouran fic where, 1) the main characters aren't Hikaru and Haruhi (however, because I'm me, there's some HikaHaru if you squint), 2) where KyoTama is implied. Heh. x3 I certainly had fun writing this.

Anyways, ENJOY~!


Ah, what a wonderful day! It was unusually quiet and peaceful today at Ouran, but no one seemed to complain. All the students were mingling around, enjoying the unusual peace and chatting quietly to one another. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, the cherry blossoms were blooming and—

"MY FELLOW HOSTS, WE SHALL SPEND THE WEEKEND TOGETHER!"

—and Tamaki had received a grand idea.

Said hosts were staring at the self-proclaimed king, who was once again standing in a quite odd pose, giving him blank stares as a perplexed brow rose on each of their faces.

Sparkles shimmered around him, and with elaborate hand gestures, he continued, "It has been far too long since all of us spent quality time with each other after host club hours, so we must—"

"No way," everyone interrupted, immediately turning back to their previous doings.

Tamaki looked affronted, staring at his fellow members with a quite dumbstruck gaze. "B-but why?!" he sputtered out, a small pout forming.

"Tamaki," Kyoya said sternly, pushing up his gleaming glasses further up the bridge of his nose. The blonde second-year gazed at his best friend with large puppy-dog eyes, waiting for him to continue. "For one, we went on a trip last month. Two, we can't spend anymore of the club's expenses on trivial things."

A dazzling smile flashed over Tamaki's features. "Ah, but you see, Kyoya!" Tamaki replied, his hands moving around with gestures as if they had a mind of their own. "I was thinking of something more like a sleep over—"

"No way," everyone quickly hissed, glaring at the over-zealous princely host. (Who was now slowly backing up to his emo corner.)

"But why?" the blonde asked, his pout in full-action again.

Hikaru narrowed his eyes at his pathetic lord. "Tono, don't you remember last time we had a 'sleep over'?"

Kaoru mirrored his brother, speaking in the same harsh tone. "The one where we all were at our place?"


"Ne, where's Tono?" Kaoru ventured as he looked around the game-room the whole Host Club was currently occupying; well, the whole club minus one.

Haruhi glanced up from her book (she didn't want to be part of the video game the twins were playing, nor did she want to play chess with Kyoya, in fear that he would rise her debt if she either won or lost.) "Ah, senpai said something about a surprise. He left about an hour ago…" She stole a quick glimpse at the clock. "Yeah, an hour and twenty minutes ago."

Hikaru paused the game, scanning the room and the members of the host club with a puzzled frown. "But what kind of surprise would he do here—"

KA-BOOOOOOOOM!

The members' faces turned grim, expectantly gazing at the door that lead to the hall.

And literally two seconds later, a certain blonde Suoh scrambled inside, slamming the door behind with a little bit too much needed force.

The usual handsome host was quite the sight; his once golden locks standing up-straight as if he had been electrocuted; soot covered his face and clothes comically, and you could also see smudges of some sort of cream on the soot-covered apron he was wearing.

Identical veins popped onto the twins' heads, giving murderous glares at their lord while a dark aura surrounded them. With twitching eyes and clenched teeth, they slowly asked in quiet voices, "Tono, what did you do…?"

A forced smile graced Tamaki's sooty face. With a gulp, he replied, "Well, you see, I thought it'd be nice if I baked—"

"MY KITCHEN!" the chef screeched downstairs. "MY BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN, RUINED! WHO WAS THE CULPRIT?!"

Tamaki quickly cowered away to his corner, very well aware of the Hitachiin glares he was getting.


"But I just thought it'd be nice—!"

"Senpai, just stop," Haruhi deadpanned, skimming through her notes; she ignored the fact that both of the twins were leaning on her shoulders. (After all, she was used to it by now.) "No one cares anymore," she added.

Fat tears welled up in Tamaki's violet eyes. "Daughter, how can you be so mean?!"

"Cos she can," the twins answered simultaneously, bored eyes gazing down on the notes.

"BUT I STILL THINK WE SHOULD—"

"Meh, Tama-chan, shut up!"

"Aa."

"BUT GUUUYYSS~"

Snap.

All of the members' attention was snapped into focus, all of them warily drifting their eyes towards the person who had firmly snapped their notebook. Ootori Kyoya.

"Tamaki," he seethed, dark purple clouds of energy appearing around him; the other occupants gulped, and the one mentioned began to shiver in fear. "I have a lot of work to do and I do not want to be interrupted. What will it take for you to SHUT UP?"

"A-ah-ah w-w-well-ll…" the blonde sputtered, slowly backing away.

The Ootori only glared harder behind his glasses that reflected the fluorescent light.

"I JUST WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN, OKAASAN!"

"And if we do that, you'll shut up?" Kyoya asked through gritted teeth, the energy consuming more space by the second.

The first-year trio huddled together (well, two of them did, the third one was just caught into the circle). "Mah, Kyoya-senpai gives in to milord?!" one of them whispered incredulously, stealing a glance at the growing tension between the president and the vice.

"Usually it's the other way around…" another one whispered back.

"Guys…I'm pretty sure that Kyoya-senpai is only saying so…he won't actually do it…"

The trio was interrupted by the loud cheer from a certain Frenchman. "OH, THANK YOU, KYOYA~~"

Everyone turned towards the source of noise, seeing a certain vice president being smothered. The merry blonde was gushing about how it would be 'the best sleep over ever!' with a rosy blush on his cheeks, and the Ootori just looked rather…bored. (Gasp! Does Kyoya get glomped by Tamaki on a daily basis as well?!)

'HE AGREED?!' the other members thought in horror.

Noticing the club's sense of worry, the spectacle wearing youth pushed the blonde off him. "But," he said, scribbling down another note in that mysterious file of his, "it shall be held at my own manor - my father will be away with my brothers during the weekend - and NO 'secret surprises', Tamaki."

"No problem, mon ami!" The Suoh brushed a hand through his hair, his locks combing back graciously. ('I must look absolutely gorgeous! Haruhi must be falling for me, I can see it!' he thought as he stole a glance at Haruhi, who was giving him a deadpan stare.) He did another pose, the sparkles returning once again. "My fellow hosts," he announced. "This Saturday shall be a sleep over none of you will forget!"

The others just collapsed to the floor, the mere thoughts of the weekend exhausting them.

–––That weekend…

"Surprisingly, it's quite normal."

"So normal that it's boring."

The entire club were sitting in one of the many sitting rooms at the Ootori mansion, doing their best to keep themselves occupied. The twins brought over their game console - and they certainly didn't regret it - and played some first-person shooter game, with Haruhi squeezed in between them, calmly reading a book. (She naturally declined their invitation to play.) Honey was eating his third cake, with his trusty cousin reading a manga beside him.

The two second-years sat on the side, one rapidly tapping away on his laptop as the other rambled on about some nonsense. (Kyoya vaguely remembered something about meanings of roses, but alas, he couldn't be bothered keeping up with the pointless conversation.)

He snapped his laptop closed, interrupting Tamaki mid-sentence. He faced the blonde, his eyes hidden by the light. "Tamaki, may we discuss something…in private?"

The Suoh blinked. "Huh? Oh right, you said you wanted to talk earlier, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, let's go!"

The pair stood, heading out the door as the Frenchman chattered excitedly.

After a few moments, the Suoh's voice fading and disappearing, Haruhi asked, "What do you think they're gonna talk about?"

"Probably just club stuff," Hikaru replied automatically, never tearing his gaze off the screen.

"And by club stuff, it's probably Kyoya telling Tono that they have wasted way too much of the club's expenses," Kaoru added, mirroring his brother.

"But Tono's so idiotic it'll probably only go in one ear and out the other."

"And then he'll think of some ridiculous cosplay for the club."

"And then Kyoya-senpai will have to sell more merchandise."

"The usual stuff," they finished together, not even once meeting the Fujioka's puzzled gaze.

"Okay…" She averted her eyes back down to her book, trying to find where she had left up. After about five minutes or so, she snapped her book shut. "I just remembered; I need to ask senpai something concerning my debt," she informed, standing as she did so.

"Have fun," the twins replied airily, pausing their game only briefly to watch her walk out the room.

"…Ne, Kaoru?"

"Yes, dear brother of mine?"

"…"

"Hmm?"

"Eto…"

"Yes, yes?"

"…Haruhi…do you think…"

"Yes?"

"…"

"…"

"…Never mind."

"I give up on you, seriously."

–––Down the hall…

The brunette commoner trotted down the hallway, mind set to locate the obnoxiously large room of Ootori Kyoya (that was about three times the size of her apartment. Rich bastard.) Thanks to the multiple times the host club (namely Tamaki) had dragged her along for their schemes, she could, by now, safely locate everyone's sleeping chambers in every one of their mansions without getting lost.

…sadly, that's only thing she can find.

After about ten minutes of walking in the large and long hallway (again, rich bastards), she reached the door that led to the youngest Ootori's bedroom. She raised her arm to knock until she heard some mutterings from the other side and…

…a moan?

The Fujioka blinked, perplexed, and lowered her arm slightly. Did she hear right?

She shrugged it off and raised her hand again, dismissing the sound as something from the wind. Her knuckles was about to rap on the polished and smooth, wooden black door until she heard—

…another moan?!

'What the…' she thought fleetingly and then—

Oh god.

More moans.

She immediately recognised the moans as Tamaki's. But why the heck was he moaning?! And so much at that? Haruhi took an unwilling step forward, having no idea what her body was doing, and pressed her ear against the door tentatively. All they had done was gone to speak in private—

Oh.

It didn't take a scholarship student to know that: 'privately' + (moans + groans) equals…

A blush sprung up the dense girl's face.

No way! It couldn't be true! There is no way in hell that Tamaki, the blonde and blubbering idiot prince, and Kyoya, the conniving Shadow King, were…were…doing that. It defies logic!

But…

"Oh…Kyoya…"

…the proof was right here.

Suddenly, Haruhi couldn't help but feel…interested. Her blush depended, and she felt disgusted with herself that she was actually interested in something so…so…so— intimate! She was actually hoping to hear what all the yaoi fangirls in the host club, which she always lightly made fun of in private with her friends (namely the twins, since they had most yaoi fangirls in the club), have always been dying to see! No! She wouldn't stoop down to such levels! She was Fujioka Haruhi, the scholarship student of Ouran and the only commoner there, she had dignity. She shall turn her foot round and march down the hall, to leave her (homosexual) friends be and forget about this!

Well, maybe she can just keep it to herself.

…actually, it wouldn't hurt if she listened a bit more…

Damning herself, along with the stupid blush, she placed her ear against the door again and listened…

"…Oh, Kyoya…this is amazing…"

"…Mmm…"

She could hear a rhythmic bouncing of supposedly a bed and bunch of thuds as if furniture were being slammed in to a wall. She could hear panting from Tamaki's end and then once it started to calm—

"Tamaki."

Tamaki's usual high-pitched and bubbly voice now sounded tired and husky as he replied, "Yes, Kyoya?"

"I actually have something else…"

"Really?"

"It's something new I have. I have yet to try this but I'm sure you'd like it."

Some shuffling was heard and then…

"Oh my god…" Tamaki paused and then suddenly—

WUMP

"Tamaki—"

More panting and moans were heard, louder than before. "Oh, Kyoya!"

"Oh god, Tamaki, calm down—"

More rapid thuds and movement was heard. "KyoyaAargh!"

THUD

Everything fell silent. No thuds, no moans and only the faintest noise of breathing from Tamaki.

"…Tamaki," Kyoya seethed. "You got your– your cream all over me."

That was the last straw.

Haruhi bolted down the hall, her face steaming from the blush painting the majority of her face. She burst in to the sitting room—

"Haru-chan—"

"Oi, Haruhi, are you—"

—and she returned to her position squeezed between the twins, hiding her burgundy face behind her book, steam coiling off her head and ears as she tried to shrink as much as she could in her seat. 'Never again, never again, never again—' she thought repeatedly, unaware of the confused looks from her friends and ignored Hikaru as he prodded her cheek.

–––What actually happened… (Unfortunately, it isn't yaoi.)

"So what did you want to talk about, Kyoya?" the Suoh asked as he stepped in to said person's room, closing the door behind him.

"Ah, no, nothing to talk about," Kyoya replied, using his clipboard to airily wave off the thought. He headed over to his study and opened the small mini-fridge insinuated beneath the his desk. He pulled out two medium sized boxes stacked upon each other, made from thin cardboard material. "I just kept my end of the deal," he said.

Tamaki's eyes grew wide and shimmered with stars, and he spluttered in astonishment, "Oh my— Is that—"

The youngest Ootori smirked at his friend's reaction, his glasses gleaming. "Yes. It is…"—He popped open the lid—"…Fuyumi's cakes."

The blonde squealed in excitement, skipping over to the different assortment of cakes as his friend placed them on a platter he asked a maid to bring earlier. "Oh, mon ami, I can't believe you remembered!" he said happily, tears of joy leaking from his eyes and dripping down on to the cool desk surface.

"How couldn't I…" The tone he said it in made it sound like he desperately wanted to forget the memory rather than thinking fondly of it, saying it with a sweatdrop the size of a fist, but this went unnoticed by the blonde. "Anyway, just take the damn cake."

"Of course, of course…" Tamaki took hold of a small, delicate plate with a slice of what looked like tiramisu. The cream and coffee soaked sponge cakes layered perfectly together, a thick layer of cream spread even across its top with powdered coffee sprinkled across and a curly piece of chocolate. He immediately sauntered over to his friend's couch and plopped himself heavily on it, seizing the small fork laying on he corner of the fragile china. He scooped up a small portion of his cake onto his fork and directed it to his mouth.

A blissful moan of pleasure fell from his lips.

His friend watched in amusement from the couch across, nibbling in an elegant manner with his own cake; some sort of fruity-jam spongecake with nuts sprinkled on top. The Frenchman seemingly exaggerated moans of pleasure were definitely real; after all, the last time he had Fuyumi's cakes were at the beginning of his first year, almost a year and half ago, and he had deemed them 'the best cakes he had ever had'. Therefore the pact was made: whenever Fuyumi made the pleasure of making cakes and sending them to the youngest Ootori, Kyoya must call Tamaki so the two could enjoy them together. It is imperative that they eat them together.

"Oh…Kyoya…" The Suoh swung his legs like a child, his heels banging on the wood of the sofa, causing loud thuds with the furniture being slammed into the wall with the sudden force. "…Oh, Kyoya…this is amazing…" He was practically shovelling the cakes in to his mouth, not even pausing to breathe.

"Mmm," the raven haired teen agreed, scooping up another forkful. (Even he must agree that his sister makes hella good cakes.)

After a few minutes, practically every cake slice (well, there only like five to begin with) were gone. Tamaki was panting hard, since he barely breathed as he practically forced the cakes down his throat despite the fact he ate himself full merrily with the other host members during dinner. It was Fuyumi's cakes, for crying out loud!

The Ootori lolled his head to view the Suoh from his laid back position on the couch, studying Tamaki's blissful face as his breathing started to calm. And, feeling suspiciously nice today, he voiced out, "Tamaki."

Said person glanced up, a curled fist by his mouth as he felt a cake-flavoured burp rising up his throat. Still in the process of digesting and calming down from his Honey-like cake frenzy, his voice sounded unusually tired and hoarse. "Yes, Kyoya?"

"I actually have something else." Kyoya propped himself up and stood, stretching his back muscles briefly before sauntering over back to the counter.

Violet eyes lit up in anticipation. "Really?"

He lifted the lid open and delved a hand inside, all the while saying, "It's something new I have. I have yet to try this but I'm sure you'd like it." And what he pulled out nearly floored Tamaki at the sheer beauty of it.

A triple-fudge and chocolate cake, its each and individual layer of spongy chocolaty goodness sandwiching small slivers of fruity jam. It was covered in thick, and I mean thick, layer of white frosting, topped with fist-sized swirl of chocolate cream with a cherry on top. Tamaki was legitimately drooling at the sight of it, his eyes replaced with shimmering stars.

Kyoya smirked as he placed the cake on a small plate, bent down and pulled out a can of high-class whipped cream from the small fridge. He shook the can while the Suoh absentmindedly trotted over like an obedient puppy to the cake, and with a barely audible mutter of, "Fuyumi said you need to serve it with a lot of whipped cream" he put large dose of the thick white accompaniment before handing the plate to his best friend. Tamaki only stared at the plate in admiration for a few seconds.

It was high-class cavities on a plate and it was all his to eat.

And eat it he will.

As he began his walk back to the couch, his slender fingers wrapped around the small utensil resting harmlessly by the plate's edge, lifting it up and stabbing the baked loveliness. A small, bite sized piece was cut off, and he tentatively yet excitedly brought it to his mouth.

He died and reached the golden, pearly gates above.

"Oh my god…" The shock of the immensity of the– the deliciousness made him weak in the knees and he buckled under his weight, dropping himself heavily on the couch with a loud 'wump', careful not to drop the plate. His pupils were dilated and he was deathly quiet, the tiny fork still caught between his teeth.

Kyoya only waited and rose an eyebrow. "Tamaki—"

As if the Ootori's voice was a trigger, the blonde shot out of his stupor and began to eat a mile a minute, raking and pushing the cake in to his mouth, his breaths coming in short pants due to his lack of attention to the common thing known as breathing. It was only when he managed to have swallowed half of its chocolate bliss in one go that he took a moment to speak, "Oh, Kyoya—" but his sentence fell unfinished, for he was busy forcing another five forkfuls in his mouth, so it continued off in his mind, '—this is amazing!'

Kyoya only watched on in what look like worry. After all, if by chance the idiot prince began choking on the cake (he wouldn't be too surprised if he began choking on the fork) and he suddenly died, they'd lose great profits for the club. (So much for being so caring, Okaasan…) He started to step over cautiously, a hand stretched out in the case of need. "Oh god, Tamaki, calm down—"

It took less than 0.001 seconds before Tamaki realised something gravely. He was hogging all the deliciousness for himself! How can he be such a terrible friend?! Here was his friend, letting his friends stay over at his mansion per his request and letting him have the best cake out of them all out of the goodness of his heart (really?), and he was taking it for granted! The least he could do is let him have some of this heavenly cake, too, so they could both be on a blissful cloud nine.

With his mind made up, the Suoh jumped on his feet and began to sprint to his friend like a madman, a bite sized piece of cake perched on his outstretched fork, "Kyoya—"

—Until, of course, he tripped over his own feet, "Aargh!"

THUD

From previous experiences, Tamaki knew that it was probably smart to climb off his best friend before he did anything else. He scrambled off, pupils small dots in shock in fear of what to come, but gathered enough courage to turn around and ask about the well being of his best friend.

The question died on his tongue.

For that one split second he failed to remember that there indeed was a cake in between them at the point of collision. So now, as he stared with wide violet eyes and breathing hushed, he watched as the Ootori propped himself up the floor, a squashed cake on his chest as his face and famous glasses were smeared with whipped cream. His hands rose in a mirrored and simultaneous motion, and his fingers landed on his glasses, were he proceeded to drag down his fingers to rid of the cream.

The Frenchman shook in fear at the sight of the glare behind the smudged glasses.

"…Tamaki," Kyoya seethed, the back of his hand swiping across his chin, "You got your—" His tongue snaked out momentarily to lick off some aforementioned cream from the corner of his mouth. "—your cream all over me," he finished.

They both failed to notice the the sudden rapid footsteps outside.

–––Twenty Minutes Later…

After a quick shower on Kyoya's end and a change of clothes for the both of them, the two second years headed out of the room to return to their friends in the sitting room. No one seemed to care about their long absence, however, Kaoru did raise a questionable eyebrow at their new clothes and Honey did blink curiously. Mori kept the same stoic expression as always, and Hikaru didn't seem to notice their return, busy teasing about the red blush still painted across Haruhi's cheeks. (Who had not once left the concealment of her book.)

"What did you talk about, Kyo-chan?" Honey asked innocently, as he watched the second years sit down at their previous table.

"Oh, you know, club stuff," he replied in a bored tone and brought out his laptop. He rose a suspicious eyebrow when he noticed Haruhi squirm uncomfortably in her spot between the twins, trying to shrink further in to her seat, and curled his lips in a smirk as his mind clicked things together.

Ah, so she thought that he and Tamaki were having some "fun".

He drifted his eyes to his screen and began to type, as the "sleepover" continued.

He never explained to her what actually happened after that.


XD

-GAGS- Oh god, that was fun to write. The idea came after my friend and I went to the shops and bought a whole cake, and when we were eating it we laughed at how "sexual" we sounded. Then, the next day at school, we were talking about it and were like, "Imagine Tamaki eating cake or something and then he spilled it on Kyoya and Kyoya would be all like 'Tamaki, you got your cream all over me!'" And then we just kind of gave each other perverted smiles.

I started writing this months ago, like June I think. But over the course of the months I wrote more and more, until I finished it now. XD

Review, pretty please? ;D