It always seemed like the later it was, the more likely she was to make a bad decision. She would deliberately blank her mind to avoid remembering how many times she had betrayed the trust of someone she loved so very much. Dolphins, deep-sea diving: she would attempt to think of anything to avoid letting herself be swallowed by the guilt she so richly deserved. Aquariums, sex on the beach- Shoot, that wasn't a good thing to think about. Now her mind was awash in the wonderfully illicit activities she had just participated in. How did she even live with herself?
Kanan was standing in a shower that wasn't hers, the water running down her bare body. No amount of water was going to properly cleanse her, though. It never did. She knew that she had taken too many showers in this place to be an okay thing. Still, she went about that sickeningly-normal routine, washing herself completely clean while making sure to avoid using any shampoos that would leave a scent on her.
When she finished, she shut off the fancy-looking shower and opened the door, grabbing a towel and starting to dry herself off. She had barely even started drying when there was a knock at the door, and instantly she dropped the towel in a panic. Then a familiar voice came from just outside the door, and she remembered that she was panicking too soon. "Mind if I come in?"
Sighing to herself, Kanan walked over and unlocked the door, opening it up to find Mari standing there with an ear-to-ear grin on her face. Since she had taken the shower first, Mari hadn't gotten to take one, and apparently that meant she didn't need to bother getting dressed. She was standing there completely naked, and from the look in her eyes she knew that it would have a certain effect on Kanan. It did.
"Mari, I just showered..." Kanan mumbled feebly, reaching down to pick up her towel. She stepped back and tried her best to ignore Mari's advances, going back to drying herself off. "I can't stay any longer. It's already late enough. We both know damn well I should've left from the bar awhile ago."
"Aww, but I'm still horny!" Mari pouted so cutely, that it almost made Kanan give in right then and there. Then she remembered the time, and she had to shake her head furiously to avoid compounding her mistakes.
"It's after three, Mari. I can't stay, and you know that." She kept drying off, pointedly looking away from Mari to avoid allowing herself any further bouts of weakness. This also had the unintended consequence of having her ignore the look of sadness that flashed across Mari's face.
"Why don't you just stay here tonight, Kanan? I know that's what you really want." She draped her arms over Kanan's shoulders, softly touching her firm muscles. "Remember last week, when I was eating you out in my car? You said that you liked my body more than hers." Kanan froze where she stood, feeling cold all over. "I've got the kind of body you desire, don't I, baby? Blonde and thick in all the right places."
If only that weren't true. Why had she said such a terrible thing? Then again, she had said many terrible, unforgivable things when she was doing Mari. It was just in the heat of the moment, but it stuck with her long after the pleasures of her orgasms had worn off. She couldn't tell Mari she was wrong, because there was nothing but truth in her statements. Dammit, she loved that beautiful body. However, she could deny Mari - and herself - another pleasurable romp.
"I told you I can't!" Kanan forced herself away from Mari's warm, inviting body and towards her clothes so she could get dressed. "I'm sorry, Mari, I... I really have to go."
"It's raining, though." Huh, so it was. She hadn't heard it due to the shower, and it'd just been background noise that she'd ignored afterwards due to her argument with Mari. After putting her clothes back on, she walked over to the bedroom window and looked outside. It was really coming down, slamming onto the ground with an intense force. "I'm sure she'll understand that you needed to take shelter due to the weather, right?"
"I mean... maybe," Kanan conceded, though she didn't look convinced. "But I can't stay, even if it's raining really hard!" She purposefully walked towards the door, Mari hurriedly putting on her robe before pursuing. "I really need to see her right now."
There were no more arguments, so she guessed that Mari had given up trying to convince her to stay. It made her feel bad, but not as bad as the actions she'd already taken. She just had to get home, no matter if the weather was terrible. Since she hadn't exactly thought to check the weather report before going out drinking, she hadn't brought an umbrella to cover herself. That wasn't going to stop her, though.
Before she left, she gave Mari a semi-awkward hug, whispering that she was sorry. She was more sorry for what she had done, but she wasn't going to admit that to Mari, or anyone. With one last look, she tried to pretend there wasn't hurt in Mari's eyes as she opened the door and ran into the rain, frantically unlocking her car and throwing herself in.
Her seat was now soaking wet, as was the floor where she placed her feet and part of her door. She had closed it as fast as she could, but nothing would've been fast enough to keep every drop of rain out. Putting her keys in the ignition, she turned on her car and hissed in annoyance as cool air blew on her from the air vents. She pushed them to the side until the A/C had warmed up, then she reached into her pocket and gently pulled out a ring.
Seeing the ring made her heart tighten uncomfortably, knowing that it was supposed to be a symbol of trust and undying love. Well, so much for that. She put the ring on and pulled out her phone, careful to avoid dripping any water onto it. Hastily, she typed out a text to Dia - 'Sorry I'm out so late! Coming home now!' - before she pushed down on the brakes, put the car in drive, and sped off into the stormy night.
The clock embedded in the car ticked up to 3:30. Kanan leaned forward, gripping the steering wheel tightly as she tried to see through the windshield. Rain was pounding down all around her, and the fastest speed on her wipers was barely helpful. Being the middle of the night only made things worse for visibility.
Luckily there was no one on the road, or at least she was pretty sure there wasn't. That was the beauty of driving in the middle of the night: quiet, safe roads. Well, except when it was storming. She just hoped that she would make it back home. The road was really trying to make that difficult. Only her above-average driving skills kept her from hydroplaning over the curb.
The radio was on, but the rain was so loud that she didn't know what was playing. She wanted to just shut it off, but her concentration was needed on the road. The last thing she needed was to lose her concentration and end up crashing. She'd certainly get an earful from Dia for wrecking the car and endangering herself. She just needed to fight through her tired state and the stormy weather, and she'd get home safe and sound. Everything would be alright.
Despite how much she needed to concentrate on the road, her mind was still racing with thoughts of Mari. Part of her just wanted to turn right back around and run into Mari's lemony-fresh arms. The other part, the one that was thankfully controlling her body, knew that was a terrible idea, and she needed to get home as soon as possible. She'd already made yet another terrible mistake: she didn't need to make it worse.
Water was quickly pooling on the side of the road, forcing Kanan to switch lanes in order to not run through the large puddles. She silently prayed that there was no one hiding in her blind spot, which by this time was everywhere. Her car didn't smash into anything, so it seemed like she had gotten lucky again. She turned on her hazard lights just in case, wondering why she hadn't done that in the first place.
What was she going to say when she got home? It was easy to just say that she'd gotten into some deep conversation after drinks, but the bar had closed at one. Why would she spend nearly three hours afterwards at Mari's when she could've come home? Maybe she had gone and helped Chika home, because she was really drunk. That made sense, but how could that have taken nearly three hours? They could've watched a movie, because Chika was weird when drunk. That was the best excuse she could come up with.
Her mind was so jumbled that she wasn't in the right frame to make sure any of that made sense. Knowing that she was lying was wracking her with guilt. It was worse because this wasn't her first lie. She knew that it made her a horrible person, but she just couldn't stop herself. Mari made her feel such different things, such incredible emotions. It drove her wild, and she found herself unable to stay away. If only she was as mentally strong as she was physically. Then maybe she could've said no before it all began.
It was too late to change the past, though. Hopefully she could get home in time to make sure the future wasn't irrevocably changed. She pressed down harder on the gas pedal, leaning over the steering wheel and gritting her teeth. 'Please let me not be too late...'
In the house, Dia paced around with worry. Clad in her sleepwear, she walked into the kitchen and looked at the clock on the oven: 3:45. She then went back into the living room and towards the window, pulling open the curtains and staring outside. Yup, it was still raining. The storm was really pouring it on, so to speak. Normally at this time the lights would all be off and she would've been fast asleep for hours. Storms didn't really keep her up, especially since she no longer stayed in the same house with Ruby, who got a bit frantic when it was storming.
There was no way she could sleep at the moment, though. She felt sick with worry, because Kanan was out there. It took a lot of strength to not grab her phone and try to call her. She knew that it would only be a distraction, and with such bad weather, Kanan needed all her concentration on the road. It still was tempting, though, enough to where she had left her phone on the couch. She had kept the volume up high, though, in case something happened and Kanan needed to call her.
There was nothing else she could do except for worry. It wasn't good for her heart, but she couldn't stop herself from doing it. She moved away from the window to pace the living room, then go right back to check for a miracle. Every time she was disappointed, but the rational side of her brain knew that something wasn't likely to change over the course of thirty seconds. Not that she was thinking very rationally at the moment.
In her mind, there were more worries than just Kanan being out there in the storm. For example: why was Kanan so late getting home? She'd already been up and worried long before receiving that text from Kanan, but it had done little to calm her. It was nearly four! What could've possibly kept her out so late? An ugly thought formed in her mind, but she desperately attempted to push it away. She didn't want to believe it to be true.
Suspicions had begun to be aroused within her for some time now. After being married to Kanan for five years, and friends for much longer than that, she liked to think that she had a good read on her wife. It wasn't that things were going bad, but something certainly felt off. What made her feel guilty for even thinking of mistrusting Kanan was that from the outside, nothing seemed different. They did the same things as always, and nothing had changed: from the light dinner chatting to the late night lovemaking. It wasn't different, but something felt different.
She knew that she should trust Kanan, and she always had without fail, but her mind was just constantly churning without end. Those damned suspicions wouldn't leave her mind, though, and they were filtering into her general worries about Kanan being out there in such a heavy storm. Those thoughts weren't going to change anything now, though. All she could do was hope that everything would turn out alright.
With her hands clasped together, she would keep praying for a miracle. She just hoped it was the weather keeping Kanan out that night.
The skies lit up and bellowed their angry cry as Kanan saw a familiar sight: the house! She sighed with relief as she pulled into the driveway, thankful that she'd gotten home without incident. Of course, she had no umbrella, but maybe there would be something else to use instead. After shutting off the car and unbuckling her seatbelt, she looked around for something to cover herself from the deluge. There was nothing to be found, however, so she looked down at herself. Sighing, she pulled off her shirt and put it over her head in a futile attempt to keep some part of herself dry. Then she opened the door and got out, slamming it shut before rushing towards the door.
When she got onto the porch, the door opened before she could unlock it and she was nearly bowled over by Dia, who hugged her tightly. Using her shirt as a makeshift umbrella had indeed been futile, but Dia didn't seem to care. She refused to let go of Kanan, even as her nightgown got soaked.
"It's okay, Dia. I'm here," she whispered softly, dropping her shirt onto the porch. Dia nodded silently against her shoulder, too relieved that Kanan was alive to even scold her about thinking a shirt would work similarly to an umbrella. As she held onto Kanan, something caused her body to stiffen. Slowly she pulled herself away from Kanan, staring at her with wide eyes. Kanan was confused at first, but then she realized what had happened. Drifting tantalizingly on the wind, a new scent reached Dia's nose. It was perfume... an American brand. Despite the shower - and the rain - it must've sneakily stuck on her after her final hug with Mari. Kanan's breath hitched as she saw the lightning from the sky flashing in Dia's eyes, feeling the sensation of her wife holding onto her vanish. Gulping audibly, she saw a varied amount of emotions crossing Dia's face, but one of those emotions was more prevalent than the others: hurt. She knew that Dia knew.
And the thunder rolls...