It all started out as a normal day for the Teen Titans, they woke up, Beast Boy and Cyborg argued over tofu for breakfast or eggs, the alarm went off and they had to fight Adonis who made flirtatious comments at Raven… who effectively kicked his butt…
Everything was going as normal, and was okay. When they each got back to the tower, it was around noon. Raven immediately went off somewhere, presumably to her room, while Cyborg and Robin played games and Starfire stood over in the kitchen area attempting to cook something. Beast Boy looked over all of this, slightly bored that he had nothing to do.
"Hey, where's Raven?" Beast Boy asked, since he figured bugging her would be something at least, and any time spent with her was a good thing in his book. Beast Boy discovered his growing crush for her after she spontaneously hugged him when he apologized to her for the things he said and for going into Nevermore.
"I don't know, but I wouldn't bother her Beast Boy." Robin commanded, not looking over at Beast Boy, the game proving too much of a distraction
"Why not?"
This time Robin looked over at him, "Is it ever a good idea to bother her? Besides, it seems like she has a lot on her mind lately."
Beast Boy thought over his words before turning away to go in search of Raven. It wasn't that he didn't listen to what Robin said, it's just that he understood his words and Beast Boy would like to think that he isn't bothering Raven.
Beast Boy walked until he stood just outside of Raven's room, then he knocked on her door. "Raven? It's me, Beast Boy. Look, I know you probably don't want to see me right now, but would it be okay if I just talked?" Beast Boy opened his mouth to continue when Raven's door fell inward, still not fixed properly from Cyborg's insistant pounding the other day.
Beast Boy poked a head in, hesitantly, "Raven?" He heard noises in her room, like people speaking, so he walked inside. The voices came from a corner, and following it, he found Raven's mirror, the one that lead to Nevermore. The voices were all fuzzy, but now that he knew where they were coming from, he could hear clearly that they were all girls, all Raven.
He got the sudden temptation to pick up the mirror and put it next to his ear, to listen in on what was being said, or to join in on the conversation by looking at the mirror and going to Nevermore. Just as he was reaching for it, he pulled back his hand.
He shouldn't be here, not in Raven's room, not picking up her mirror, and not trying to get back into Raven's mind. What was he doing, anyway?
He was about to walk out of the room when he clearly heard his name being said from the mirror. He stopped and stood still, trying to listen carefully to it.
"It-….he jus…you. Tell him, he won't….Beast Boy…"
"But what….it might sc-…if…..past…"
"He called you creepy….knew…understan-…"
Beast Boy lost the conversation entirely after those few seconds. There were so many emotions talking to her, how could she understand them all? Well, they are her emotions… In any case, he was still interested, and he still had nothing to do, and he still couldn't find Raven…
Would she really mind if he went back into Nevermore? Sure it was Raven's mind, but it was so much more than he had ever seen. At one point it seemed like everything was all happy and sunshine filled and warm, when he and Cyborg went through that one doorway. But then crossing through it into the place the started out at, it was just cold, and dark, and deserted… All that were in there were her emotions, and that big red guy.
Beast Boy stood there for a while, trying to think of what he should do.
What did Raven mean when she said she had issues with her father? Beast Boy was too curious, he couldn't help himself. Beast Boy picked up the mirror, fully intending to go back into Raven's mind, when suddenly the alarm blared again. Beast Boy couldn't help jumping and yelping slightly at the sudden noise. What happened next set off a chain of effects.
Beast Boy dropped Raven's mirror.
As if in slow motion, he watched it fall, helpless to grab it just in time, until it hit the floor with a loud 'crack' and Raven's mirror was nevermore. Kind of ironic, those words…
Beast Boy didn't realize what had just happened at first. All he could do was look at the broken shards of the mirror on the ground, at Raven's Nevermore. Did this mean he broke Raven's mind? No, she said the mirror just helped her out with meditating. One thing Beast Boy was certain about, though.
Raven was going to kill him.
With that thought, Beast Boy bit his lip and left Raven's room, running to find out what criminal needed a strong dose of justice, running because he didn't want to be there when Raven discovered what he had done to her mirror.
Same time that day…
Raven was spending her time meditating on the roof, trying as hard as possible to not be disgusted by that criminal Adonis. If she weren't focusing so hard on ignoring that disgust, she might've taken his advances as a compliment, no, Raven would never do that. Still meditating, Raven opened her mind to Nevermore…
"Raven! Raven, Raven, Raaveennn!" Happy was squealing and jumping up and down, then ran over and brought Raven into a hug. "Raven!"
Pushing her away, Raven looked at Happy with something like disgust, "Is that all you can say?"
Happy giggled, "Probably."
It was annoying how Happy somehow found all of Raven's sarcastic remarks to be funny. Frowning slightly, Raven began to walk away.
"Raven! Who are you looking for? Where are you going? Do you want to talk? Do you need some advice?" Happy was walking fast, trying to keep pace with Raven, which you'd think would be easy to do.
"No."
"No?"
"No."
Happy frowned too, before smiling, Raven's decision was final, she knew. "You need to loosen up, Raven. C'mon, you know you want to tell me what you're doing here in Nevermore. Besides, you're too stubborn for your own good. Why won't you let me help you out?"
Raven stopped and looked at her emotion, "Happy, you are too happy, too perky, and too enthusiastic for me to talk to you about this."
Happy giggled again, and Raven felt sickened by this girlishness, "There's no such thing as too much happiness!"
Happy and Raven were walking again, and Happy continued, "So, where are we going? Who are we going to see?"
Not looking at her, Raven asked nonchalantly, "Why don't you leave me alone, Happy? Go back to your realm."
Happy shook her head, a concerned smile upon her face, "Never, Raven. Not until you tell me what you need to talk about, and don't tell me that there's nothing, Raven. I am a part of you, you know."
Raven looked at her over-enthusiastic companion, "You really want to know? Why?"
"Because I'm you, Raven. Because I'm kinda lonely just sitting in my realm all alone being happy by myself. Because you need to have you're thoughts sorted out. And Raven, you're facing all these problems too, I know. You can't feel things, or not much of them, I know, but at least we used to get some use. But now it's like something's bothering you too much for you to feel anything. So what's on your mind?"
By now Happy had say down on one of the large boulders in this section of Raven's mind, the part that was the darkest, most dangerous feeling. Raven joined her on the rock, and sighed.
"Our birthday's coming soon, the one that matters, I mean, the one that Trigon's coming back. Can't you feel it?" Raven was quiet, feeling sort of scared.
Happy was still smiling, in a reassuring kind of way, "Of course I can, Raven, we all can. We're all just as worried as you."
"I don't know what to do, Happy, this past year with the Titan's has made me… it's made me feel, Happy, which is more than I was ever allowed to do in Azerath. I've been trained all my life on how not to feel, on how to control everything about myself. I'm not supposed to feel… I'm supposed to retain control, but it's been slipping more and more with each passing day, and I'm not sure if that's due to my time with the Titan's or because of… of what's coming."
Happy looked over at Raven, still gently smiling, "Raven, on second thought, maybe I'm not the one you should be talking to about this."
Raven looked sharply up at Happy, "What do you mean?"
Both of them jumped, slightly, when they heard a loud crash somewhere. They both shook their heads, thinking it was Rage attempting to let out her anger. Briefly, they both heard Rage shout out from somewhere, "I didn't do it!"
Whatever the case, Raven and Happy got back on topic, "I mean, maybe you should talk to Beast Boy."
Now Raven was confused, "Why Beast Boy?"
"It's obvious, I think, why. You should talk to him about this because he does more than just care about you. Tell him, he won't judge you, Raven. This is Beast Boy we're talking about." Happy seemed to know something she didn't.
"But what I want to talk about is sensitive, and it might scare him or I might loose what I have here if I tell him about my past. And how do you know he won't judge me? He already thinks I'm creepy."
"He called you creepy, so what? If he knew, he'd understand Raven. I'm sure you're not the only one who thinks of the Titan's as a family. And as I said earlier, this is Beast Boy we're talking about. I think he might care about you more than you want to admit." Happy made an argument, but Raven still didn't see why she wanted Raven to talk to Beast Boy about all of this.
"But why-"
Suddenly, a bunch of Raven's other emotions appeared, and everyone started arguing all at once.
"Why should we say anything at all? We should apologize to him for the cold way we act." Timid spoke, her voice quiet and morose.
"Raven, quit being a sissy and suck it up. It's just a few words, besides, I think you owe them some kind of a heads up about what's going to happen." Bravery was standing there, in a heroic pose.
"Timid is right, we shouldn't tell him anything. We don't owe him anything. He called us creepy, and he's annoying." Rage was there with her arms crossed.
"I think we should let Raven decide, guys." Happy was smiling at all the emotions.
Suddenly all the emotions beside Happy shouted, "We are Raven!" and Raven and Happy winced, then everyone began arguing again. Meanwhile, Raven was standing away from the fierce argument. She watched them for a few seconds more before turning to leave, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
Looking back she realized all of her emotions had stopped arguing and were looking at her solemnly, Happy standing right by her side. "We're all with you for your decision, Raven, whatever it turns out to be."
Raven nodded once, turning away, when Happy's voice stopped her again, "Please, though, Raven. You need to talk to someone about this, this is not just something you can deal with by yourself. Raven nodded again, before leaving back to her meditating state.
She levitated for a few moments more, before speaking her mantra one last time, "Azerath, Matrion, Zynthos…" With a deep breath, Raven floated to the floor, then, feeling the ground again, stood up, and looked out from the roof.
It was night, slightly a warm one, but the breeze blowing made up for it slightly. Raven breathed in slightly again, reveling in the calm and peaceful atmosphere on the Tower's rooftop. And then the alarm went off… Somewhere in her mind, it was like something broke, if just for a second, and Raven was stunned. She couldn't move, but then she shook herself, and ran to find the other Titan's.
It was time to fight another battle.
Yeah, so I'm probably going to go way off of how things might be, I've never read any of the comic books, and it's only been lately that I've taken to watching the Teen Titans in a long, long while. So please forgive me if you have a problem with that, although, I'm not sure how right or wrong I am in saying that I'm going to change a lot. I only have one partially clear picture of where I want to go with this, but not much of an idea of how to get there. I'll figure it out, have a little faith. Now, thanks for reading this, and if you've got something you want to say go ahead. No one's stopping you. Thanks for reading,
-Wordless Thoughts