Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and don't make any moolah from it!

Bruce Wayne took a deep breath as he entered his personal elevator at Wayne Enterprises. He always had to psych himself up to lose a few IQ points and present himself as the clueless and irresponsible playboy, Bruce Wayne. Giving his head one last shake, he heard the ding of the elevator as he reached his destination.

"Hello, Sir!" squeaked one of the secretaries. Bruce returned a flirtatious look as he kept walking towards his penthouse office.

As he passed the next corner, he noticed the girls in the office typing pool huddled together and whispering intently. Knowing something was out of the ordinary, he wandered close. "What's up, girls?" he said in his charming way.

Instead of reacting with pleasure at his attention, they all looked frightened and scrambled to shuffle the paper in question out of sight.

Bruce pushed forward, raising an eyebrow. Knowing they were trapped, one of the girls handed him a photo, saying "It's the talk of the town. Sorry, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce took the photo and gasped in shock. His squeeze for the week was shown sharing a passionate kiss with Batman.

But I never did that…

Sure, it was a rather blurry photo and it was only of their heads, but it was obvious what her identity was. And to the untrained eye and possibly to the trained eye as well, it looked like Batman. But that marked her for a target – the exact thing which stopped him from having any meaningful long-term relationship with a woman, due to the dangers involved. Given that his regularly rotating girlfriend would know about his playboy reputation, he thought he could meet his carnal needs with a relatively clear conscience, but not now.

As Bruce uncharacteristically stormed away, he could hear the girls whispering. "Oh my gosh, did you see how angry he was?" "Finally got a taste of his own medicine!" "I wonder what he's going to do to her?" "Do you think he'll take on Batman?"

-0-

Erratic footsteps were sounding in the hallway that he deduced were from his wayward girlfriend. Obviously she knew the jig was up and she wasn't sure how to approach the billionaire. He heard a rather formal knock on his door, and the creak as it opened slowly.

"Bruce…"

"Kim."

She was looking at him precariously, not sure what to do. Finally, the tension got the better of her. She gulped. "I…I can explain!"

"Please do." His playboy persona was all but gone, and he was scrutinizing her with the eyes of a tiger.

"I've always had a crush on him… just a simple little crush…"

Bruce's eyes flashed. There was no such thing as a 'simple little crush' when it came to Batman. What a stupid woman – getting herself endangered like this.

"…and he was just there so I kissed him…not that there's any hope for a long-term relationship…"

As opposed to me? Bruce resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It still amazed him how women could expect something different from him, given his reputation.

"He's so dreamy. And strong…"

Glad someone was enjoying the living hell he was imposing upon himself.

"I hope you're not too mad?" she asked with pleading eyes. She wasn't too bright considering that she persisted in trying to repair the relationship despite her instinctual fear that rose from seeing this unfamiliar, furious side of him.

Bruce remained silent. She was a target now. As much as he'd like to send her the way of all his previous girlfriends, as Batman it was his duty to protect her and she was safest with him.

"I've never seen you like this, Bruce!" she stammered, horrified.

He rose. He couldn't help his lack of humour, forced to be with a woman he generally found annoying, and he tried to explain it away. "I'm not going to lose to the Batman," he said seriously as he ran his hands down her arms.

There was a panic-stricken look in her face from his lack of wellbeing, but finally her intellect took over and she dashed into his arms. "Oh, thank you, Bruce!" she said, sobbing in relief into his chest.

Suppressing his irritation, he started to return to the jovial and carefree sucker that Bruce Wayne was, encouraging her that she was safe.

-0-

Bruce was at one of the social gatherings on a luxurious ocean liner that was docket in Gotham. He was in full-blown idiot mode, lapping up every ass-kissing compliment that came his way to offset any rumours that might be floating around about his previous behaviour. So far it all seemed good. While people were a bit tense around him before, he could see they were relaxed now. He was still the Bruce Wayne they all know and love.

Kim was having a great time. "Oh Bruce, this is just marvelous – I've been so excited about this event for weeks! I even told everyone I know!" she said, laughing happily. Bruce responded with a lighthearted chuckle. "Glad to see you're having a good time, sweetie," he said in his confident playboy tone.

A shadow of a cape passed one of the portholes, and Bruce Wayne lost his smile for a second.

"I'll be right back, sweetie – I'm just stepping outside for some fresh air."

"OK, Bruce," she responded, looking at him curiously.

Bruce ran out the docks and up to the nearby bridge to get a better vantage point, updating Alfred on the situation. He doubted that the impostor had any idea of what he was getting into with all the crazies running around Gotham, so he also had a duty of care to stop this guy.

"Mr. Wayne, I've got a bone to pick with you!"

Bruce whirled around to see a rather poorly-equipped scrawnier version of himself.

"Really? What does Batman want with me?"

"Er…" Obviously the kid hadn't thought this thing through.

"You're not really Batman, are you?" he growled.

"UHHH…." The kid was getting ready to make a run for it. Bruce couldn't allow him to escape and put himself in danger any longer. Seeing Alfred's timely appearance below in the Bat-boat, now equipped with an inflatable section, Bruce grabbed him and expertly tossed him onto the boat which then silently vanished into the night. Due to the force required, some of the old bridge crumbled and fell into the river with a splash.

"EEEEKKKK!" came a piercing scream behind him. Whirling around, he saw it was Kim. She'd obviously noticed that something wasn't quite right about his excuse to leave. Damnit. Better to have no intelligence than half-intelligence. Already nearby police were running to the scene.

"What's wrong, miss?" said one rookie.

Through sobs, she exclaimed "Bruce Wayne just killed Batman!"

Not really knowing what to do, the cops looked at Bruce. He had a look of shock on his face, but not one of an entirely innocent man.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne, but we're going to have to take you in."