Today is Peeta and my first year anniversary. I still can't believe a year went by so fast. I guess I'm used to everything moving in slow motion. This morning, he made me breakfast and brought it to me in bed. Two blueberry pancakes, a few strips of bacon, and some orange juice. On the side of the tray he brought was a fake rose with a note attached that read: "Katniss, I'll love you until this rose dies." cliché, but still adorable. He came and sat by me while I ate.
After I finished eating, I turned to him and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss.
"Thank you, Peeta. That was delicious," I commented.
"You're welcome. Happy anniversary, Katniss," he smiled and hugged me.
Eventually, I decided I needed to get up and shower.
"Wanna join?" I smiled. He chuckled and nodded. He helped me undress, then we got in the shower. I washed my hair, and Peeta washed everywhere else. When we were clean, we got dressed and went downstairs.
As I walked into the kitchen to wash the dishes, I heard a familiar sharp inhalation. Oh no.
I ran to Peeta and caught him just in time to save him from smacking his head on the floor. He was wiggling around, gasping. His eyes were squeezed shut. He was having a flash back. I knew this routine all too well. I gave him my hand and he squeezed it until it hurt.
"You were a mutt. Real or not real?" He gasped.
"Not real."
"Snow hijacked me. Real or not real?"
"Real." He only asked two questions this time. It usually varied between one and four questions. All of them real or not real. "Just breathe. It'll be over soon." I stroked his hair as his breathing slowly returned to normal. He stayed on the floor stroking my hand.
"Did I hurt you this time?" He looked worried.
"Don't worry about me."
"Did I?"
"Just my hand, but it's not bad. I still have function of it." He was always worrying about me.
"Did I get hurt?"
"Not this time." He had been hurt before. He had cut his hand pretty badly on the glass table. When he fell back, his hand shattered the entire table. My mom gave him seven stitches. He had also injured me before. When he fell, he fell on my arm wrong and broke it. He felt so bad afterwards, but I kept reassuring him it didn't hurt and I was more concerned for him. I helped him up and hugged him as tight as I could. "I hate seeing you like that." I buried my face in his chest.
"I hate that you have to watch. Why won't they just go away?"
"They will with time, Peeta."
"How long, though? That's the question." It kills me that I don't know the answer to that.
"I don't know. Soon, I hope. Just know that I'll help you until they disappear. I won't ever let you go through one alone." I looked up at him. "I promise."
"You know I hate having to make you see those, Katniss."
"I would say it's my choice, but it's really not. I have to help you through them. If you were to fall and hit your neck just right... I can't even imagine what I would do." I shuddered just thinking about what could happen if I didn't catch him. "Just please let me help you." I pleaded with my eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, he was about to say something, but I kissed him before he could deny my request. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him onto the couch. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back eagerly. He laid us down on the couch and pulled me on top of him. The kiss got more intense. I had to break it so I could catch my breath, but his lips never left my skin. He kissed any exposed skin I had. My neck, shoulders, nose. I sat up and unzipped my jacket and threw it on the floor. He smiled and pulled me back down. He kissed me again. I could taste the desire on his lips. I felt his tongue trace along my lips. I pried open his lips and pushed my tongue it. As we let our tongues tangle, I took my shirt off. He took his off, too. Only a few articles of clothing separated us. I always seemed to get nervous at this point.
"Don't be scared, Katniss," he brushed my hair back.
"It's scary how well you know me," I laughed.
"Yeah it is," he laughed with me. "Seriously, though. Don't be scared. You know I won't hurt you. If I do on accident, just tell me." He smiled. His eyes were glowing in the dim morning light. They looked like two blue pools. I just wanted to get lost in them. Maybe if I just looked deep into those eyes, the panic would dissipate. I stared at his eyes and shed the rest of my clothes. He smiled sweetly. I smiled back. Turns out I was right. Staring into his eyes erased all my panic. He flipped us over so that he was laying on top of me. I felt his hand on my thigh and sighed. He moved it so that he was touching me. He'd done this once before and I'd loved it. My breathing became more rapid. He moved his hand away and I felt that familiar sensation when he entered me. My breath hitched, then sped up even more. It grew faster as he moved faster.
"Oh Peeta," I moaned. He smiled. I knew he loved hearing me say his name. I said it more to please him. "Peeta!" I screamed. We then experienced the best feeling ever, and we felt it together. The big explosion, I call it. After that, he kissed my forehead which was coated in sweat.
"I love you," he said simply.
"I love you, too." He switched positions again so I was on top. I relaxed onto him and laid my head on his chest. "Happy anniversary, Peeta."
"Happy anniversary, Kat." I could hear the smile in his voice. I looked down and saw his prosthetic leg.
"It's so easy to forget your leg isn't real." I rubbed the smooth rubber. He smiled.
"Yeah. I forget all the time. Only when I look at it do I remember." Just then, an idea popped into my head.
"Can I give you a tattoo?" He cracked up. I was serious, though. "for real! With a permanent marker, not a real tattoo gun. It'll fade with time. It's up to you, though." I smiled at him. He stared at me before he broke into the most beautiful smile and laughed.
"Okay. Go ahead."
I smiled and jumped up to go get the permanent markers, but I felt something in the pit of my stomach. It felt like I got punched. I immediately ran to the trash can. Good thing, too because Peeta's breakfast made a surprise reappearance.