AN. This is my first Harry Potter fanfic, normally I write charmed fanfics, but this thought just wouldn't leave my mind. Severus is in this short one shot very ooc. I have to be honest, since I've never written Harry Potter before, so I'm not all that good with the portraying of the characters.
Another thing, if you have any peeves about bad English, I would advise you to stop reading right now. I'm not a native English speaker or writer, and what I do know is more likely to be American.
For the rest, please enjoy and let me know what you think.
Silent watcher
Severus Snape hated how his life had turned out. He knew he had no other choice, he never really had a choice in his life. But no matter how it wasn't really his fault, and no matter how he did all he could given the situations, he was not happy with how his life had turned out.
It had begun with the fact that he wasn't all that happy with his parents, or more he wasn't all that happy with his mother's choice of men, more accurately, his mother's choice of Tobias, because if one man wasn't fit to be a father, it was Tobias.
Secondly was the fact that his parents had chosen to believe in the pureblood ways of thinking. This meant, they thought purebloods were better then half-bloods and they certainly were better than muggleborns! It was this choice that his parents made that would set the course of Severus' life, because with that choice they made sure Severus never stood a chance with Lily. And then of course that choice also meant that he would have to become a death eater, which later would lead to him becoming a spy. So in the end it was the choices that his family had made that turned Severus Snape into the man he had become, a man who was hated even by himself.
Another thing that made Severus Snape hate his life was the fact that he could see so clearly where he went wrong. It begun with him calling Lily Evans a foul name and from that moment it would all spiral down into the life he was living now. Had he stopped himself in time, then he would have never lost his friendship with Lily. Lily would have to be comforted by the Potter brat, and so they wouldn't have become a couple. At least that was the way Severus saw it. Because he knew that he had stood a chance before, before that horrible moment.
And so when Severus heard that Lily Evans had become Lily Potter, and that she had given birth to a baby boy, he could help but think that it could have been Lily Snape, and she could have given him a baby boy. Which was something Severus would have loved, he had always wanted to have his own family, and he had always wanted children when he was younger.
So when Lily asked him to be Harry's silent watcher, to be his silent helper Severus said yes. Many would believe he said yes because he still loved Lily. But in truth he had gotten over het a long time ago, he knew they wouldn't have worked out in the end. But when she asked him, she also gave him a choice, an opportunity. Harry Potter wouldn't be his son, but Severus would be his guardian. He would have to do it silently and in secret, but he would know and he would feel like he was protecting a son, his son.
And that was how he thought of Harry now, years later. He thought of him as his own son. A son who hated him, one who he had absolutely no relationship with, besides the fact that he always looked out for him, and he always protected him.
It had hurt Severus, it had hurt more then he would ever admit, to be a nasty and horrible man to Harry. Every time he saw the hurt and anger flash in the boys eyes, his heart would give a little bit more. Year after year Severus hurt the boy, and nobody knew how he hurt himself in the process. But in the end it was worth it, because it gave Harry enough protection to stay alive, and it gave him enough strength to fight. And in the end Severus Snape watched him, like any proud father would, but nobody would know that, because he was the silent and secret watcher.
Once again please review. I would like to know if I should stop writing harry potter fanfics.