AN:

This is my first ever Austin & Ally fanfiction. I don't even know why I'm making this. Everyone ships Austin and Ally, which I don't blame them. They're okay, but I love Dez and Ally; they're a bit unpredictable.

Anyway, correct me if you see something like a spelling error or grammar error.

EDIT: I'm slowly editing this story over. It's too precious to leave so horribly proofread and written. Check back, I guess? I'll be updating.

1.

An Alien Attack of the Heart

"Austin and Ally are so adorable."

..

"I know. When are they going to see they're perfect for each other?"

..

"I love Austin and Ally; Auslly is so cute!"

..

"Oh my gosh, right?"

..

"I love them. They are so cute; I can't wait until they realize their feelings for each other."

..

.

Shut up. Just be quiet!

No. Forget I said that – yes, they're cute.

No, they're not!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

Dez, yes they are!

No, no, they're not!

You know what? Just be quiet – and, yes, they are cute.

No, they're not!

Hi, I'm Dez! I have a sick obsession with jelly and I love mushrooms on pizza. My best friend is Austin Moon and we've been friends since I was, like, five. I work with him and help him film his music videos.

Yes, that song on the internet called Double Take is my friend's.

Well.. it sort of is. Ally wrote it and let him use it – she's the songwriter for all of our songs and sort of like a really, really picky, bossy person... like a mom.

Then, there's Trish: the weird girl who loses all of her jobs... all of the time. She's got a crush on me – it's so cute – but I don't like her. I've never liked her. This story, journal-like thingy, isn't about her so throw your ideas of her and I together out the window. There is no Drish, or Tez, or Trish...ez. There is only Trish and Dez... Okay?

Anyway, I'm only here because I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've been feeling weird, like alien weird, except without the lasers and the... acid.

Recently, my heartbeat hasn't been continuous. It's just been out of control. I've been doing things I shouldn't be... like ignoring any romantic, gooey-like conversations about Austin and Ally. I've been trying to smell Ally's hair and... and catch one of those smiles she gives to customers. I've never done any of these weird things before.

And, that's why I scheduled a doctor's appointment – yes, I know: Dez of all people? Why would Dez be going to the doctor?

Well, I already told you. I haven't been feeling... human. I shouldn't have a strangely fast heartbeat. I shouldn't be trying to smell anyone's hair... which I, also, found out smells like a mix of strawberries and blueberries. I try my best to ignore these urges to smell her hair, but I just can't stop it.

She makes me do things I don't want to do.

That's it!

Ally has to be some sort of weird alien... or alien-like human... that likes to control me.

I knew it from the start!

All I have to do is get her out of my head.

"Dez?"

"Dez?"

"Dez!"

Ally snaps her fingers in front of my eyes. I wake up from my daydream and slip off the chair I was sitting on.

"Ow!" I say, mostly just to let Ally know that the fall hurt. "You didn't have to wake me up!"

"Uh, yes, yes, I actually did have to," she says, "you're scaring my customers with your daydream mumbling."

Ally walks back to the cash register and puts on one of her welcoming-the-customer smiles.

"Wait, what did you hear?" I panic. If she finds out that I'm planning on taking her mind control off then she'll kill me.

"Um, blah, blah, blah, and blah," Ally answers.

I cross my arms and give her a serious look. Although, I could feel the redness coming to my cheeks when I realized that I was overanalyzing her smile. Ally is so beau – normal, I mean, completely, totally normal... looking. She returns the same look I give her.

"Seriously, what did I say?" I ask her.

"I don't know. It didn't make any sense and they weren't words. It was all just gibberish," Ally replies, lowering down in order to grab something from the bottom of the counter.

"Fine, you don't want to tell me – that is alright with me," I say, and stand there for a few seconds, before throwing a rampage. "Ally, tell me!" I jump, whining, hoping she'll tell me. Ally begins to panic; I'm making a lot of noise in the store, I guess. Or maybe... she's just an alien... that can't handle noise... maybe?

"You didn't say anything. You just murmured a bunch of gibberish," Ally repeats again.

"Fine, don't tell me! I don't care! I'm never talking to you or your teddy bears again!" I yell, exiting the store.

I don't care anyway. I don't need her... amazing curls. I don't need her... fantastic smelling hair. I don't need her at all, besides I don't like nice smelling aliens – they're stupid.

I see Austin at the new smoothie place where Trish is working at. He's talking to some blonde girl. I don't know her name, but I've seen her around. Maybe if I ask Austin what's wrong with me he'll tell me... or maybe he'll even give me some tips on how to get used to alien mind control?

I enter the smoothie place and scan the room. A bunch of people on dates is all I see. Cute, but not why I'm here.

"Austin, hey!" I yell from the back. He turns around and sees me at the entrance.

Austin shakes his head and mouths, "This is a bath time?"

I don't really understand what he means, but this is no time for jokes. If I don't have a solution for this then I might die.

I walk over to him and catch a look of the girl. She's really hot... and has these amazing blue eyes. I definitely have seen her before – that's Hailey. She's this new girl who every guy around here has a crush on. Of course, she knows about Austin and his music– that's probably how he scored the date. I turn my eyes from her and begin to explain why I'm here.

"Austin, if an alien is mind-controlling me? What do I do?" I ask him. He gives me a cold look. I know something is up from then. I mean, Austin never gives me cold looks. "Wait, you're mind controlled too!" I yell.

Hailey looks confused and begins to pick up her stuff.

"See you later, Austin," she says, before getting up and walking off to the nearest shop.

"Dez, when I shake my head and say this is a bad time... then it means this is a bad time," Austin replies.

"You said that? I thought you said this is a bath time," I reply, feeling an embarrassment come upon me. I meddled between his chances of getting with Hailey, which I prefer him with. I don't want him with Ally.

Wait, what? I do want him with Ally.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Oh, just shut up, Dez.

I give Austin an apologetic face. I was being stupid, but I still needed that alien answer.

"No, Dez, why would I say 'bath' time?" He quips, rolling his eyes, and crossing his arms. "What do you need help with?"

"If an alien mind-controls you into doing stuff, how can you get out off it?" I ask, panicking. Though, I'm beginning to realize that I look like a five-year-old kid. I mean, I'm jumping and asking questions about aliens (which are real).

This is exactly what a little kid does after seeing an alien movie.

"Well, depends on what you're doing," Austin answers, "what are you doing?"

"Well, I've smelled the alien's hair... and I've been thinking about them a lot recently. I've been thinking about their eyes, smile, and voice." I sigh and begin to feel woozy again. I feel my heart flutter a little. "Talent," I add and feel my heartbeat change again. It feels good this time. It feels like having an alien control you isn't so bad.

My eyes begin to wander and I find myself looking at the sky. I don't know why, though, and I feel like everything is heaven.

"Dez?"

"Deeez?"

"Earth to Dez?" Austin tries to capture my attention.

He snaps his fingers and my daydream collapses.

"I'm sorry. This is what I'm trying to tell you! The alien is taking control of me! I can't be Dez anymore!" I yell.

Ally is such a smart girl – alien... girl. She probably knows I was talking about her and zapped me. That's why I felt a bit of fireworks going on in my stomach! It was her zap. I need to either kill Ally, which I could never, ever do. Or, I could make an antidote and make her human... but I don't know if that's possible.

"Dez, it sounds like you have a case of the loooovebug. It happens a lot on earth... not on an alien planet," Austin replies, patting me on the shoulder.

"Well, I'll be going to the doctor and I'll get this checked," I say right before I remember my doctor's appointment is soon, "I just remembered Austin: it's at five."

"Dez, this lovebug thing isn't a real disease," Austin adds.

I don't listen to what he says, though, and choose to ignore it. I walk off to my appointment.

Time to get this stupid poisonous bite out off my system.

"This isn't a real disease, kid," the doctor says to me as he places his equipment on the side table.

I can't believe he said that to me. How dare he? I'm a sick patient and he's treating me like a joke. I thought all doctors were experienced. Clearly, this one isn't.

"What do you mean real? I'm sick and I need help," I tell him.

"Lovebug is a crush – it isn't a real disease. Besides, all the symptoms you told me… are a crush," he says, getting up from his seat, and looking over at some papers.

I jump off the chair and approach him.

"Is my heartbeat supposed to change, huh?" I ask, placing his hand on my chest where my heart is.

I begin to realize how much of an idiot I'm being. He snatches his hand back and begins to walk out of the office. As he does, I do the same and follow him into the room in which he finds antidotes, pills, and medicines.

The room is a small room. It's the size of a janitor's closet. It has over thousands of pills and medicines. I'm surprised there isn't a cure for my disease. Though the room does have enough space for about eight people, and if it got any smaller, I would have a panic attack – I'm very claustrophobic. There are shelves in every corner and cabinets as well. Every single inch of this room is filled with pill bottles – big, small, medium, or even teeny, tiny bottles are in here. The pill bottles are the only color in this room. Everything else is beige – the color that my mom wears to work.

"Uh, yeah," he murmurs back, "you're supposed to be nervous or woozy," adding some hand gestures to woozy, "around this bite," he says, looking around for a medicine.

He starts scanning the shelves for a specific pill bottle.

"No, no, I'm not, there's a cure for this," I say, throwing every pill bottle off the shelf, and scanning the names on the pill bottles. "Ur, insomnia – no," I blurt, throwing the pill bottle over me. "Anxiety for the ol - no," I blurt again, throwing it over my shoulder.

"Kid, these are very hard to place in order–" He tries to interrupt, but I continue to go through the pill bottles.

"Laxatives– err, no." I throw the pill bottle over again, but the doctor than grabs a hold of my arms this time. It forces me to stop.

"Kid, or whatever your name is–"

"Dez – it was on the paper," I answer as he loosens his grip on my arm a little.

"Okay, Dez, this is a crush, there is no cure," he says, looking into my eyes. And for the first time, I begin to believe him. I look down, trying to see if maybe, maybe, there is a pill bottle waiting there... just for me. "There. Is. No. Cure," he continues, just to make sure that I understand, and I understand. I just don't want to.

"So... I like Ally Dawson?" I mumble to him in question.

"Yeah, you like Ally Dawson," he repeats, letting me go, and making his way out of the room. "Err, don't forget to pick this up," he adds before walking out.

So...

I have a crush on Ally Dawson.

No wonder I love the smell of her hair. Or the color of her eyes. The stretch of her smile.

No wonder I always hate it when guys say something sweet to her. Or why my heart beats strangely, quickly, around her. And why I constantly watch her greet the customers.

No wonder I hate the idea of Austin and Ally together. Or why I love everything about her. And why I don't think about anything else.

The only wonder left is…

Do I even have a chance?

AN:

Can I just admit I cringed so much gazing at how terrible my writing was? Why did you guys just let me write like that? I thought you guys cared about me - as fans - and I'm so disappointed that that wasn't the case.

..

I'm just kidding. I was young, ya'll were young, and it's about as good as I was at the time. Anyway, I'm here to proofread, correct, and sharpen this thing. I hope many of you are ready to reread this incredibly cheesy story again.

I don't know if I am.

Too-da-loo!