"Thanks again for letting us share a bus, Vic. We really appreciate it." Kristen told him for the thousandth time as she handed the last of her bands' bags to Matt for him to put on the bus.
Vic laughed quietly. "It's no problem at all. We're glad to have you on the tour. It's going to be awesome."
She smiled back at him. "So what's the plan up until the first show tomorrow?"
"Well, we're going to be on the road all night on the way to Denver. So anything you can find to do in the bus, go for it."
"And, once we get to the venue?"
"We're meeting up with Of Mice & Men and their crew in the morning; we'll go from there after everyone gets up." Vic explained.
Kristen nodded slightly, but stared off at the side of the bus.
"You guys all know them personally, right?"
"Oh, yeah. Caleb and I have known them for years. Kasey and Matt have met them a few times and they're all on good terms." She replied quickly, rushing from nervousness.
"Everything okay?"
She sighed. Vic had always been one to tell exactly what you were feeling.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Kind of scared, but fine."
Vic's brother Mike approached the two with a smile. "Hitting the road, guys!"
They both smiled back and followed him into the tour bus.
Thankfully, the rest of their bandmates were back in the lounge.
"Scared why?" He asked as they sat in the tiny kitchen/living room.
"Just, it's going to be awkward for me." She paused, and chuckled to herself. "But you'll never see it."
"I think it's just nerves. After the first show, you'll want more. You'll be in the swing of things and everything will be fine." Vic assured her.
"Well, thanks. You may be right." She smiled. "Hey, um, are the bunks just through there? It's kind of early but I'm really tired."
"Yep. I don't think we've let you guys pick yours yet though. It might be hard to pull them from that party back there."
"I'll get them." She gave him a smile and started to make her way back to the lounge.
She pulled the curtain, and almost burst out laughing at the scene before her.
Both bands were just sitting around and watching Toy Story.
"I voted against it." Matt, their guitarist, said when her giggles filled the room.
"It's funny that you lost. Anyway, come on, guys. Gotta pick our bunks."
Matt, Kasey, and Caleb got up from their seats and followed her to their beds.
"Okay, fight amongst yourselves for the rest but I'm getting top right." Kristen told them as she climbed up into her bed.
"And I get top left!" Matt dibbed.
"I'll go under Matt, you under Kristen?" Kasey suggested to Caleb.
"Sounds good to me." He agreed.
Kasey and Caleb went back to the lounge, but Matt stayed with Kristen.
"Why so early?" He asked.
"Want to be rested for the show tomorrow." She replied as she fluffed her pillow.
It was silent for a few moments before he answered. "Is it about Austin?"
"It's just going to be weird for me. I'm overreacting."
Matt leaned over, reaching all the way over to her so he could touch her arm.
"Hey, it's going to be all good. This is the greatest thing that could have happened to us. This is the start of something great. Don't let him ruin it."
She gave him a small smile. "Thanks. I'm trying. I guess we'll see what happens after we all meet up."
Matt hopped down from his bed and pulled up on hers to kiss her cheek. "Goodnight."
"Night."
She watched him disappear back behind the curtain before letting herself fall asleep.
...
When Kristen woke up the next morning, she sat up slowly, almost hitting her head on the roof. She leaned over slightly and ended up falling to the floor.
"Fuck!" She yelled out.
Matt poked his head out from behind his and Kasey's curtain.
"You dead?"
"No."
"Okay cool." He said before going back to sleep.
She sighed and picked herself up off the floor and walked to the front of the bus.
They weren't moving, so she was sure that they had made it to Denver.
She grabbed her keys, just in case, and opened the door to go outside and get some fresh air before the day began.
When she stepped outside, she looked over and saw Tony Perry, Pierce The Veil's guitarist, sitting on the concrete drinking coffee.
"Good morning." She greeted as she sat down next to him.
"Morning." He replied without even looking at her.
"You excited?" She asked.
"Yeah. I can't wait for tonight. It's going to be amazing. This you guys' first tour?"
"Yep. Just hoping I don't screw it up."
Tony chuckled. "Hey, we heard you the other day. You're fantastic. Nothing to worry about."
She smiled back. "Thanks. Although that's not all I'm worried about." She immediately cursed herself for saying that.
"What do you mean?" Tony asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Nothing, really. I just… I'm nervous about seeing someone from the other band. Weird… history."
"I'm listening." He said quietly.
She stared at the ground for a long time.
"I've been in love with Austin Carlile since 6th grade." She practically whispered.
"And how old are you?"
"22."
"Shit." He held back a laugh.
"I know, shut up." She pushed his arm playfully.
"That's crazy. You never told him?"
"We've always been best friends. I met him the first day of middle school." She paused. "He… some 8th grader tried to put him in a trash can, and they ended up fighting. I was the only one to defend or help him. Since then… we were friends. I liked him basically as soon as I met him. I was a complete wuss, and all through middle school I never even thought about telling him. I was scared I'd lose him or he'd think I was weird or something. It was kind of the same throughout high school, but at times I would finally have the balls to tell him… and he would have a girlfriend. And when his mom died… I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to kiss him and tell him it would all be okay. But I knew he wouldn't be able to put anything into the relationship, so I just gave up. The feelings didn't go away but I accepted that all we'd ever be is friends."
She gasped slightly as Tony put his arm around her.
She didn't realize until now that she was crying her eyes out.
"When was the last time you talked to him?" He asked.
"When you guys told us we would be touring with you. He called us and congratulated us."
"Well hey, maybe this tour was fate. Maybe now is your chance." Tony gave her a small smile, hoping she would cheer up.
She tried to smile back. "Maybe." She agreed despite knowing better as she wiped her eyes.
They both looked up as crew members ran up to both tour buses.
"Gotta start setting up for soundcheck, guys!"
Tony and Kristen stood up, waiting for their bands to get outside.
"I'm gonna go put this cup up; when I get back we'll head over to the trucks and start moving our stuff." Tony told her as he went back into the bus.
She stood patiently for a couple seconds before moving her eyes over to the Of Mice & Men bus.
She smiled as she watched them all walk out. Tino and Phil hopped out first, with Alan following behind them. She waited, but no one else came out right away.
A minute or so later, Austin came down the steps holding the hand of the blonde girl trailing behind him. He stepped out onto the ground and turned to kiss her.
He waved bye and she smiled, closing the door.
Kristen stood there, unable to move. She only snapped back into it after Tony came back.
"Are you okay?" He sounded worried.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She just stared as Austin moved closer to them.
"Kristen!" He shouted happily when he was just a few feet away.
Her breathing became shallow as tears filled her eyes.
Austin finally reached them, and pulled her into a hug without another word.
"I've missed you!" He said as he hugged her.
She barely hugged back, still too hurt to even think.
"Yeah," She replied quietly.
He pulled back and looked at her with a smile. His smile faded when he saw her face. "What's wrong?"
"N-nothing. I'm um… just…" She sighed loudly in frustration. "Tony, I'll see you later."
She turned away and headed over to the truck that had everyone's equipment.
Austin turned to Tony. "Is she okay?" Worry laced his voice.
Tony frowned. "I don't know what happened. She was fine when I left."
The two were both confused, and watched her walk away until she disappeared behind the truck.
...
"Ugh, you're such an idiot!" She scolded herself as she sat on the floor of some hidden back room that she'd found.
Her arms ached with want, but she made herself ignore it. There was no way she'd be doing that over this. On a show night.
She wasn't sure why she'd even gotten so upset. She was the only one to blame for this. She didn't tell Austin when she had the chance and now he's got someone else. Again.
She'd been sitting back here crying for 2 hours, and she had soundcheck to take care of. She needed to calm down.
She snickered to herself, wondering if anyone even noticed that she was gone.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes.
'You can't let this bother you. You are on tour. You have much more important things to worry about than this. You have to put on a good show for the fans. That's all that matters. Them.'
She continued to steady her breathing until it was near normal before finally getting up and heading to the stage.
When she found it, there were band members and crew everywhere, moving around in a rush to get everything ready.
No one really did notice her, except for Kasey and Matt.
"Where have you been?" Kasey asked quietly.
"Hiding." She replied.
"To make us move everything?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry guys. It won't happen again. I'm really sorry. Just had a bad morning."
Kasey held her gaze for a few moments before smacking her arm teasingly. "We love you, remember that."
"Love you too." She smiled.
Matt handed an amp to Kasey and he took it to the other side of the stage.
"What happened?" He asked after he left.
"Saw something that made me feel bad and I freaked the fuck out."
His eyes stared at her worriedly. "Did… did you…"
She shook her head softly.
He let out a breath. "Good." He pulled her into a hug. "What did you see?"
She looked down at the stands and saw Austin standing there with that girl.
Kristen pointed to them.
Matt looked, and his jaw dropped. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. It's mine. We're all good. It's not important."
"Are you sure?"
"Nope. But I know that making the fans happy is a lot more important than me."
"Kristen, you can't do that-
"Miserable at best." She said before walking over to a crew member and helping them with some wires.
Matt shook his head and sighed. This was going to end badly…
...
"Kristen, you're slowing down." Caleb called from his drumset.
She didn't say anything, only closed her eyes.
When she opened them, she noticed Austin walking out and standing against the barricade that separated the pit and the seats.
She stared at him for a few seconds, anger randomly taking over before she turned back to her band.
"Start again."
They nodded, and Matt began playing the opening to 'Monster' by Paramore. It was one of their covers and the last song of their set.
Still hurt and now angry, the music was giving Kristen the weirdest energy.
"You were my conscience. So solid, now you're like water. And we started drowning… Not like we'd sink any further. But I let my heart go; it's somewhere down at the bottom. But I'll get a new one, and come back for the hope that you've stolen…"
She jumped up with the music as she practically screamed the chorus.
She kept her eyes locked on Austin for a majority of the song.
"I'll stop the whole world; I'll stop the whole world from turning into a monster, eating us alive. Don't you ever wonder how we survive? Now that you're gone, the world is ours." She was on her knees, with the microphone between them, leaning down and singing the last part with a tone that sent chills through the rest of her bandmates.
She breathed heavily when she finally stood up. "How was that?"
They stared at her with questioning looks.
"Perfect." Caleb said.
She looked back at the seats to see Austin frowning back at her. Well, not really a frown. He looked concerned.
A crew guy grabbed the microphone from her and spoke into it. "Alright, Of Mice & Men, you guys are up, let's go."
They switched out equipment, but Kristen didn't want to stay to watch.
She found Matt, and convinced him to go get some lunch instead.
Austin watched them leave with sad eyes.
...
About a half hour before the doors opened, Kasey texted Kristen and Matt telling them to get back, they were going to meet the fans that had been waiting outside.
They got back within 10 minutes, and immediately got some reactions.
"Hey!" A girl stopped Matt.
"Hey, you excited for tonight?" He asked with a smile.
"Yeah! I love you guys. Kasey and Caleb are awesome." The girl turned to Kristen with a less-than-happy look. "You too." She said bitterly.
Kristen laughed.
"I think you're great, Kristen." The girl's boyfriend spoke up. "Your voice is beautiful, especially for your genre. Gives me chills every time."
"Thanks, so much."
His girlfriend elbowed him, but he ignored it.
"Mind if I get a picture?" The guy asked.
"Oh, of course!"
They posed while the girl unwillingly took their picture.
Once people saw them take a picture, they started getting the hint that they were playing, and more people wanted to meet them.
They spent the next 30 or so minutes taking pictures and talking with the fans, and it had lifted Kristen's mood a remarkable amount.
They went back backstage after a crew guy came to get them.
"That was awesome!" Kristen beamed excitedly.
"Feeling better?" Matt smiled.
"Yes!"
Matt looked up when he heard Mike from Pierce The Veil call his name. "We've got a half hour left till our set, keep it up!" He patted her arm happily as he walked over to where Mike was.
She still had a smile on her face as she walked through the backstage area sipping water.
She was just looking around at the pictures on the walls when a hand grabbed her arm.
Turning around, she was face to face with a worried Austin Carlile.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"What?"
"You seemed… off. All day. What was wrong?" His voice broke as he spoke. It wasn't like her to act like this and it was hurting him.
"Nothing, I just had a bad morning. I'm fine now."
"Are you sure? Kristen, we've been friends for 13 years, you can talk to me."
She put a hand on his cheek. "I know. Thanks for caring, but it doesn't matter."
"It does matter! Is it something I did? Please, tell me."
She took a deep breath and was about to speak, but her phone vibrated.
She pulled it out of her pocket quickly and opened the text.
Kasey: IT'S TIME!
"Shit! Austin I have to go. We'll talk later." She ran away without even giving him time to respond.
...
The crowd cheered as they walked out onto the stage, despite most of them not knowing who they were.
Kristen smiled at all the faces looking back at her.
"How are you guys today?"
They cheered back, and Kristen could hear Matt's quiet laugh from behind her.
"Sweet! And how excited are you guys to see Of Mice & Men?"
Much louder cheers.
"Pierce The Veil!"
She was pretty sure that if there was one, the roof would've just blown the hell off the place.
"Okay, but before that, we're gonna sing a couple of our songs and a few covers for you guys, is that cool?"
There was a pretty positive response from the fans, and Kristen was practically glowing with happiness and excitement.
"One last thing though." She kicked a cord out of her way before she tripped on it. "You guys have to promise me that you'll scream at the top of your lungs…"
...
"Holy fucking shit! That was insane!" Matt yelled as they headed backstage after they finished performing.
Kristen was speechless but nodded along with her bandmates.
"Epic for a first show!" Caleb continued.
Kristen was looking back at them, so she screamed when she ran into someone and they wrapped their arms around her.
"I'm so proud of you, kibbles!" Austin said into her hair.
"Kibbles?" Kasey laughed.
"Thanks." She giggled back at Austin.
He pulled back, but still didn't let her out of his grasp, and looked down at her smiling.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled back at him.
"You guys did awesome." He continued to praise them.
"Good luck doing better." She winked.
"It'll be tough…"
"Ah, not really." She laughed.
Austin smiled. "I missed your laugh."
She blushed in the dark hall. Thankfully he probably couldn't notice.
"We should hang out after the show. Catch up, you know?"
"I'm down. Meet me at the bus later?"
"I'll pick you up at 10:30."
They both laughed again.
Kristen's smile hadn't dropped since he put his arms around her.
"Austin!" Tino called for him. "Let's go!"
"Coming!" He yelled back.
"See you then." Austin kissed her forehead and ran off to the stage.
When he was gone, Matt went up to her and looked at her knowingly.
"Tony said it was fate." She shrugged.
Matt smiled slightly and put an arm around her neck before walking back towards the stage to watch the rest of the show.
...
"Whatcha doing?" Vic asked Kristen as he watched her fixing her hair.
"Going to go hang out with Austin, you?"
"Probably eat and go to bed. We're leaving in 2 hours, don't stay out too long." Vic smiled.
"Promise." She laughed as he walked back to the other side of the bus.
She heard knocking on the bus door, and looking up at the clock she saw that it was exactly 10:30.
She giggled to herself. He was always right on time, it amused her.
Opening the door, she saw him standing there smiling. "Hellooooo." He said cheerily.
"Hey."
"Care to go get something to eat?"
"Sure."
Austin led her across the street and into the Denny's.
The place was practically empty.
They sat down at a table and started talking after the waitress brought them drinks.
"You did better after all." She laughed, taking a sip of her soda.
"I don't think so. Your voice is unbeatable." He smiled back.
She blushed, but didn't say anything.
"How have you been, honestly? We haven't actually talked in a long time."
She thought before answering, but decided to just be honest with him. "I was great till this morning. That just… it sucked."
"What did?"
They were interrupted by the waitress, who came back to take their orders.
They ordered quickly, and Austin just stared at her intently, waiting for her to speak.
"What?" She asked. She was becoming nervous under his gaze.
"I don't know. You look really great though. Even better than the last time I saw you."
She giggled from nervousness. "I don't think your girlfriend would like hearing you say that."
"Abby? Eh."
"Eh?"
"We've only been together for a couple weeks, it'd be pretty messed up for her to freak out over me complimenting by best friend of over ten years."
"Two weeks? And you brought her on tour?"
"Well, she figured it would help our relationship. Only two weeks together and then I'm gone for three months?"
Kristen laughed skeptically.
"What? You don't like her or something?"
"Haven't met her. Don't want to." She replied unintentionally harshly.
His face fell.
"I'm sorry, that was mean." She apologized quickly.
"No, it's okay. Just your opinion. But it kind of sucks that none of my friends really like her."
"None?"
"Not really. Not the band, not you, you're the only friends that matter."
It physically hurt her to say what she said next. "Well, if you like her, don't let us stop you."
Austin looked down, clearly in thought, and nodded.
They sat in silence until the food came.
"Chicken is so good." Kristen said as she ate.
Austin laughed. "It is."
She continued eating, and he started watching her again.
After a few minutes, she noticed.
"What?" She asked.
He bit his tongue. "Nothing."
"You sure? You can tell me anything." She took his words from earlier.
He laughed. "I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"You." He answered truthfully.
She was taken aback by that. "Oh."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's fine."
"You just… you've changed so much. I mean, from the chick that helped me out of a trash can to…" He let out a frustrated breath. "Watching you onstage tonight was breathtaking."
"I still think you di-"
"It's not about that. It has nothing to do with who performed better; I'm stuck on how insane it was to see you like that. So much passion. It was all over you. And your voice! God," He sighed heavily.
She giggled. Loudly.
"Why?" He asked.
"It's nice to see you be the frustrated one for once."
He didn't say anything, but he watched her as she finished her food.
Once she did, she looked at her phone and her eyes widened. "Whoa! Austin we have to go or they're going to leave us."
He nodded and they got up quickly.
Austin paid for the food and they ran out of the restaurant.
She went to dash across the street, but Austin stopped her.
"Wait!" He grabbed her arm.
"What? What is it?"
"I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand."
She shook her head as she tried to breathe. "Are you using Rise Against lyrics against me?"
"Yes." He replied with a small grin.
She sighed and interlaced their fingers.
They looked both ways for cars before running across the pretty much empty street.
They reached the buses with only about five minutes left before they were heading off.
He squeezed her hand before releasing it. "Thanks for getting dinner with me."
"Of course. It was awesome. Thanks for paying." They both laughed.
She looked up at the moon as silence took over.
Austin took a quick breath and closed his eyes before leaning down and kissing her cheek.
She smiled, and gave him a hug before he had to leave.
"See you tomorrow. Get some sleep!" He yelled to her as he ran to his bus.
"Goodnight!" She shouted back.
With a small giggle, she opened the door to her own bus and climbed in.
"I was thinking you weren't coming back." Tony's voice snapped her out of her slight daze.
"Oh, well. I wouldn't miss curfew. Everyone else asleep?"
"Everyone except Vic. He's back in the lounge playing his guitar."
She nodded and sat down across from him as the bus started to move.
"So where were you?" Tony asked.
"Dinner with Austin. Catching up and stuff."
"Oh really?" He smiled.
"Yeah." She laughed.
"What happened?"
"He was acting really weird. Complimenting me a lot. Got really flustered. Made me hold his hand when we were coming back. Kissed my cheek. Just… weird."
Tony chuckled.
She smiled. "What?"
"I told you."
"He has a girlfriend."
"So?" Tony laughed again. "They've been together, what, like a week? Is that even long enough to know if he really wants to be with her? Either way, there's no way she can contend with thirteen years of chemistry."
"Don't get my hopes up, Tony." She said with a small smile.
He held his hands up. "I just call it like I see it."
"Yeah, well. I'm going to bed. You should too." She told him as she started walking towards their bunks.
"Goodnight." He said as she disappeared behind the curtain.
...
She changed in the dark and quickly climbed up into her bunk, eager to get some sleep after the exhausting first day of touring.
Despite how crazy everything was, she smiled to herself as she fell unconscious.
Maybe Tony was right. Maybe it was fate.
And nothing can stop fate, right?