Just a short fic that I wanted to write down! A different take on the beach scene. Hope you all like it! :)

Alas, I do not own OUAT.

"What do you want me to say Neal? That it killed me that you never came looking for me? That you found Tallahassee with someone else?"

She hadn't expected to say that. Though it was the truth, she hadn't even let herself think that since they'd reconnected. Truth be told, she couldn't think it. She couldn't allow herself to look at Neal the way she did ten years ago because that meant opening up old wounds – wounds that took a long time to heal. The pain was too great to relive.

But it was always there, wasn't it? That longing to see him again? To get answers? It plagued her dreams for years.

Her eyes clicked to meet his and in that instant, she was transported back ten years when he told her that the only thing he wanted was to be with her. The same deep-seated spark was still there burning in them, as if he could read every emotion on her face and hear every thought she had ever had. It made her feel both uncomfortable and safe at the same time.

Neal abruptly shoved his hands into his pockets and turned his gaze toward the sand. "It killed me not to go look for you." His voice was so soft it was almost lost beneath the sound of the sea. "But I knew that I couldn't."

"Why?" she breathed.

He raised his head. "Because I knew that the moment I saw you again, I'd plead and beg and do everything I could to get you to forgive me. I knew that I would want to just take you to Tallahassee and live out our plans and forget about everything else."

Emma waited for him to continue, silently cursing the tears that were building.

That was all she ever wanted. Neal was the only family she had ever had and being with him was the only thing that made sense in her life. He gave her purpose; he mended her broken spirit.

Only to break it all over again.

"But you had a job to do. A family to find and a curse to break and I couldn't stop you from doing that." He closed the gap between them, his expression pained. "I wanted to be selfish with you but… I just couldn't."

"Neal-"

"No, wait," he interrupted. "Please let me just say this. I didn't go after you and there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret that decision. It haunts me every single day. And maybe that's why, in a way, I was always looking for you. Every time I walk down the street, I scan the faces of the people I pass. I get on the subway and I look around at who's sitting in front of me or beside me. Every shop I go into, I can't help but check the faces of the customers, of the workers. All in the hope that one day I'd come across your smile, or your laugh, or your blonde hair again." He scrunched his forehead but a small smile crept onto his face. "I guess I was always looking, Em. And finding Tallahassee? Tallahassee was our dream. It was a dream of two young people who wanted to find a home; of two lost souls looking to be found. But Emma, you found that here in Storybrooke. You have Henry and you have your parents. You have the family you always wanted."

But I don't have you, she wanted to say. But she knew she couldn't. She knew she shouldn't.

Neal had Tamara now. He didn't want her anymore. And maybe that was for the best.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, she stepped back and smiled tightly. "Yeah, I do."

Neal straightened. "I'm sorry, Emma. For everything."

"I'm sorry, too."

She fixed her stare on the horizon, willing away the tears that threatened to fall. And when her phone rang and she saw the caller's name light up, she drew in a deep breath and realized that she had found her Tallahassee after all.

Any reviews or feedback would be greatly appreciated! I hope you all enjoyed it! :)